My life feels like an abandoned project that I'm stuck with, "no returns" because the shop has closed down, and the item was on sale anyway. I'm trying to shake it out & polish it up; I bought vegetables yesterday, I'm starting to plan essays, I've booked (another) careers appointment, I've sworn off romantic attachments for a long while. I feel mostly ok. I'm keeping busy

My life is a circle and I've closed the loop of the past year. The same person, and even the same bars as backdrops for the same emotional trough after the peak. I've been smoking alone too much today, and it's been raining. Here I am again. How do I begin again?

Robert Creeley

I came back from Budapest a few days ago and the trip has been a definite liminal space between selves. I don't feel like the same person I did before & I don't know whether I'll get back to her or whether I want to! I've slipped into a new self who is hideously behind on reading, enrolled in therapy with an actual diagnosis, and reconnecting with someone from last year. The new self is more confident and I have so many rooms to explore