⛧ tobbe

I got this message from a bot, and honestly? If I was a bit younger and not such a jaded bitch with a career in tech, I might have given it an honest try. I spent plenty of time in a tough situation without access to any mental health resources as a teen, and would have been sucked right in.

Chatting right from your phone, and being connected with people who can help you? Sounds nice. Especially if you believe the testimonials they spam you with (tw suicide / self harm mention in below images)

But I was getting a weird feeling, so I went to read the legalese.

I couldn't even get through the fine-print it asked me to read and agree to, without it spamming the hell out of me. Almost like they expect people to just hit Yes? But I'm glad I stopped to read, because:

What you say on there won't be confidential. (And for context, I tried it out and the things people were looking for help with? I didn't even feel comfortable sharing here as examples, it was all so deeply personal and painful)

Also, what you say on there? Is now...

Koko's intellectual property - giving them the right to use it in any way they see fit, including

Publicly performing or displaying your "content" (also known as your mental health crisis) in any media format and in any media channel without limitation

Do this indefinitely after you end your account with them

Sell / share this "content" with other businesses

Any harm you come to using Koko? That's on you.

And Koko won't take responsibility for anything someone says to you on there (which is bleak when people are using it to spread Christianity to people in crisis)

I was curious about their business model. They're a venture-capitol based tech startup, owned by Airbnb, the famous mental health professionals with a focus on ethical business practices./s They're also begging for donations despite having already been given 2.5 million dollars in research funding. (If you want a deep dive on why people throw crazy money at tech startups, see my other post here)

They also use the data they gather from users to conduct research and publish papers. I didn't find them too interesting - other than as a good case study of "People tend to find what they are financially incentivized to find". Predictably, Koko found that Kokobot was beneficial to its users.

So yeah, being a dumbass with too much curiosity, I decided to use the Airbnb-owned Data-Mining Mental Health Chatline anyway. And if you thought it was dangerous sounding from the disclaimers? Somehow it got worse.

(trigger warning / discussions of child abuse / sexual abuse / suicide / violence below the cut - please don't read if you're not in a good place to hear about negligence around pretty horrific topics.)

And Crunchbase, Linkedin, and their website have info on their founders and board.

If anyone reaches out, please do it respectfully and direct your messages to the investment firms, founders or board, not the staff.

I'm familiar with the field, and it's common for corporations to mislead programmers and lower level staff about the purpose and potential harms of their technical work. There may very well be people working there who believe they're doing good, and absolutely do not deserve online harassment. The founders, C-suite, and board members are the informed decision-makers in these sorts of companies, not the coders and other employees who may very well believe they're creating something helpful.

Also they're apparently hiring?? For 150k a year. Damn.

i love canonically bi Terzo

Or some version of a horny goth clown, but the guy underneath it has got the wettest saddest eyes I've ever seen. Just look at him:

This man admits to being very sensitive and cries at the drop of a hat.

He has a wife and kids.

He wears the costume because he doesn't like the way he looks on stage as a rockstar.

He treats the audience like his children. They're officially called the children of Ghost for that and also because of the play on "children of god."

The band literally fucks around on stage while riffing this badass music. They go through physical comedy skits every concert like the three stooges. For example:

Two demons throw guitar picks at each other when they get angy.

One guy grinds and licks the stage like a cat in heat.

One of them shakes their tits at goth clown man and scares him shitless.

One of them twirls goth clown man like a ballerina as he dances by them.

Several of them slap goth clown's ass when he waddles by.

He created the band to make people happy, to celebrate being a fucking weirdo because he always felt left out, and to make fun of Christianity because it makes people feel bad. He lost his older brother, and it tore him up so bad that the music he made as a result launched him into a worldwide music career.

This man ends every concert "ritual" with three things:

1. Be nice to each other

2. Help each other

3. Go fuck yourself

(Literally and figuratively)

Their music is 70% "fuck me I'm so horny", 10% "I love you so much" and 20% "ethereal badass metal".

Look at how much fun he's having, dude.

It's literally just a rock band filled with the nicest people on earth wearing costumes like a Shakespearean play. And all they do is make up funny little lore stories and serve cunt.

𝔗 𝔡𝔯𝔢𝔴 𝔦𝔱 𝔬𝔫 𝔞 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔯𝔰𝔢𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔨. 𝔖𝔬 𝛾𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔬𝔫’𝔱 𝔦𝔪𝔪𝔢𝔡𝔦𝔞𝔱𝔢𝔩𝛾 𝔲𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔖𝔢𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔡𝔬. 𝔅𝔲𝔱 𝔥𝔢’𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔱𝔯𝔬𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔪𝔞𝔫 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔞 𝔫𝔞𝔨𝔢𝔡 𝔲𝔭𝔭𝔢𝔯 𝔟𝔬𝔡𝛾.

Copia drawing from a while back!