𝕿𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖊𝖑𝖞 𝕷𝖔𝖛𝖊

Always Love Someone Loyal

You don’t want to find yourself trapped in a relationship where you’re always on alert. You don’t want your alarm bells to go off whenever your person leaves the house without you, whenever they take a minute too long to text back, whenever they tell you a story about their day. If you can’t trust your person to be one hundred percent honest with you, then maybe you aren’t meant to be with that person.

Maybe you need to find someone who is incapable of looking you in the eyes and lying to you. Your partner should make you feel secure. There shouldn’t be any doubt in your mind about whether their feelings for you are real or whether they are planning to stay in the relationship for the long haul. This person should express their love for you through their actions, and their loyalty, not only through their words. When they make a promise, they should follow through on it. No exceptions. No excuses.

You’re never going to make a relationship without trust work. Of course, you need to pay attention to where those trust issues stem from. If an ex cheated on you and you’re always on high alert because of the bullshit you’ve been through in the past, that’s something you can work toward changing. You can establish open communication with your partner, so you feel more comfortable with them, so your doubts slowly start to fade. But if their behavior is the whole reason why you’re worried, if they are too flirtatious for your taste and you keep catching them in ridiculous lies, there’s a problem.

If you’re in a serious, monogamous relationship, your person should only want you. They shouldn’t be hung up on their exes. They shouldn’t be crossing boundaries with their friends. They shouldn’t be making you feel insecure about your worth, your beauty, or the stability of your relationship. It doesn’t matter whether you catch your partner cheating. If they make you feel like they could cheat at any moment, if you’re constantly expecting them to walk away and abandon you, then something needs to change. Maybe you can sit down and come to a compromise. Or maybe you need to leave.

Either way, you don’t want to remain in a relationship where you’re extra insecure, extra uncertain, extra paranoid. The right person will reassure you that they are head over heels for you. They’ll make it clear that they’re interested in you and only you. They’ll tell you the truth, even when it’s hard to hear, and they won’t keep any secrets from you. You will never have to doubt what they’re saying.

Choosing Your Minimalist Path

What started as a design aesthetic has snowballed over the years into a lifestyle movement embraced by people worldwide. It’s easy to see why (or maybe I’m biased?) since minimalism offers a clear path to a more intentional, fulfilling, and sustainable way of life.

The allure of “living with less” has permeated popular culture, from decluttered living spaces to capsule wardrobes. But, like any widespread trend, minimalism has evolved over time.

In this article, I want to examine the different paths of minimalism—from the extreme to a more balanced, rational approach. I also believe it is important to explore how the lifestyle can positively impact our environment and, finally, how to implement minimalism in a way that works best for you.

Three Types of Minimalism

Nowadays, minimalism falls into three main categories: traditional minimalism, extreme minimalism, and rational minimalism. Ultimately, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. However, by understanding the nuances between the different styles, you can choose or craft one that best aligns with your values, needs, and environmental priorities.

1. Traditional Minimalism

Traditional minimalism is the most well-known and widely adopted approach to living with less. It’s where Becoming Minimalist and many other blogs started and, in many cases, still reside.

The focus here is on decluttering physical spaces, emphasizing essentials, reducing unnecessary consumption, and seeking quality over quantity. That’s a mouthful, but the benefits speak for themselves:

Increased mental bandwidth

Reduced stress from clutter

More time and energy for loved ones

Space for side hustles and other meaningful pursuits

Improved finances (hello, debt-free living)

On the downside, you might find letting go of certain things challenging. You may encounter pushback from friends and family members or struggle to balance owning less and still being comfortable. However, it’s all surmountable but worth noting nonetheless.

2. Extreme Minimalism

Extreme minimalism takes it to the next level, pushing the boundaries of how little one can live with. Proponents of this approach typically pare down to the bare essentials (often fewer than 100 possessions). If they have a home base, it’ll most likely be devoid of furniture.

For my partner and me, the move from traditional to extreme minimalism aligned with our desire to age well. At almost sixty, going furniture-free seemed like a natural and easy way to achieve that. And that’s just one advantage.

This way of living also comes with several other benefits:

Complete freedom from material possessions

Moving home is a breeze (if you even have a fixed address)

A much lower impact on the environment*

*Assuming you’re not flying to a new destination every other month.

The not-so-great side is that it can lead to social isolation (no furniture will do that!) or becoming obsessive about owning less stuff. A short nose around the internet and you’ll quickly see a competitive pattern emerge among extreme minimalists.

3. Rational Minimalism

Rational minimalism is the Goldilocks of the three, striking a balance between the desire for simplicity and the practicalities of modern life. It emphasizes thoughtful curation of possessions, focusing on functionality and personal values. It’s a more flexible, you-do-you kind of lifestyle while still maintaining a “less is more” outlook.

Unlike its extreme cousins, rational minimalism allows for some sentimental items and, gasp, some “just in case” possessions. It emphasizes mindful consumption rather than extreme reduction.

As a result, it’s a more attainable lifestyle to adopt and maintain long-term, balancing minimalist principles with practical needs. Some of the benefits include:

Reduces stress without sacrificing comfort

Encourages mindful decision-making

Promotes sustainability without extreme deprivation

Allows for personal expression within a minimalist framework

Ultimately, your approach to minimalism will depend on your circumstances, goals, and preferences. The key is to explore the different types, consider their pros and cons, and choose the one that aligns with your vision for a more intentional, fulfilling, and sustainable lifestyle.

The Environmental Impact of Minimalism

As we shift our focus to the broader implications of minimalism, it’s crucial to consider its impact on the planet. With environmental challenges on the rise, minimalism is more than a lifestyle choice. It’s also a powerful tool for reducing our ecological footprint. Embracing this way of living allows us to do our bit for Mother Earth.

Resource Consumption and Minimalism

The culture of overconsumption has led to the rapid depletion of natural resources. It’s time to break this cycle and embrace a more sustainable way of living. Minimizing our material possessions reduces the demand for new products, lowering the environmental strain.

It doesn’t stop there. Minimalism also encourages us to be more mindful consumers, choosing quality over quantity and prioritizing experiences over things. This simple shift in mindset can do wonders for our planet’s well-being.

Opting for a capsule wardrobe, for example, simplifies daily choices and significantly reduces the resources required for clothing production, including water, energy, and textiles.

Waste Reduction Through Mindful Consumption

One of minimalism’s most significant environmental benefits is its impact on waste reduction. This lifestyle’s mindful consumption naturally leads to less waste in several ways.

First, minimalists purchase fewer items, which generates less packaging waste, a major contributor to landfills and ocean pollution.

Secondly, focusing on quality and durability means that items last longer, reducing the frequency of replacements and the associated waste.

Finally, minimalists are often more inclined to repair items than replace them. This extends product lifecycles and aligns with circular economy principles.

Long-term Environmental Benefits of Adopting Minimalist Practices

If more people embrace minimalism, it will yield decent environmental benefits in the long run. Minimalists often make more sustainable choices on a personal level, such as living in smaller, energy-efficient homes.

On a larger scale, widespread minimalism has the potential to reduce carbon emissions significantly. Moving away from fast fashion, disposable goods, and unnecessary consumption could shift us towards a more sustainable economic model that values preserving resources.

Aligning our habits with minimalist principles allows us to reduce our individual and collective environmental impact dramatically. Living with less affords us more time, freedom, and money, and it also offers a healthier planet for the future.

Choosing Your Minimalist Path

Consider now how you can embark on your minimalist journey. Remember, this is personal, and finding the right approach requires introspection and experimentation. Here’s how you can start:

Reflecting on Personal Values and Lifestyle Needs

Take time to consider what truly matters to you. What brings you joy? What are your long-term goals? Understanding your values will help determine which possessions and activities align with your vision of a fulfilling life.

Assessing Current Habits and Areas for Improvement

Evaluate your daily routines and living spaces. Identify areas where physical and mental clutter hinder your well-being or productivity. This will show you where a more minimalist approach could have the most significant impact.

Tips for Gradually Incorporating Minimalist Practices

1. Start small: Declutter one area at a time, such as a drawer or a closet. This approach prevents overwhelming feelings and provides quick wins to motivate further progress.

2. Mindful consumption: Consider whether the item aligns with your values and is necessary. Prioritize quality over quantity to reduce long-term consumption.

3. Regular reassessment: Schedule periodic reviews of your possessions and habits. As your life evolves, so should your approach to minimalism.

4. Finding balance: Minimalism is about curating a life that works for you. Be flexible and adjust your practices as needed to maintain a sustainable lifestyle.

Your Turn to Act

Now that you’re familiar with the different minimalism styles, you can choose one that works for you.

Don’t be afraid to experiment. Every small step towards minimalism is a step towards a more intentional, fulfilling, and sustainable lifestyle.

8 Ways to Stop Getting Distracted

There is no doubt we live in a world with constant distraction: beeping phones, ever-present social media, streaming services, constant noise, advertisements on every surface in every direction.

But the numbers might be even worse than you’d imagine:

Studies show that the average person gets distracted every 11 minutes.

Americans check their phones an average of 144 times a day.

We switch activities or applications at work every 3 minutes and 5 seconds.

And if that’s not bad enough, the research tells us that after a distraction, it takes 23 minutes to regain focus on the original task.

These constant interruptions don’t just disrupt our workday—they keep us from living our best life and accomplishing our greatest purposes. The hard work of accomplishing meaningful and significant things requires focus—whether that is a project at work or a relationship at home.

Distractions keep us from things that matter. That’s why I wrote a book about it.

But there is good news, we don’t have to let distractions control our lives. Although there is noise and activity all around us—it is up to us whether we are going to give into distractions or not.

If we want to live more intentionally and accomplish what’s most important (and who doesn’t?), we need to take steps to minimize distractions and reclaim our focus.

Here are eight practical and actionable ways to do just that:

1. Close Your Eyes and Countdown from 5 Slowly, Focusing on Your Breath

As soon you notice that your mind has been wandering or you have gotten distracted from meaningful work, try this simple mindfulness technique to help you refocus: Close your eyes, slowly count down from five, and pay attention to your breathing.

Focusing on your breath will help you separate from the distraction in front of you both mentally and visually. When you reach the number one, open your eyes and recenter yourself on the task you need to be focusing on.

2. Remove the Distraction from Your Environment

One of the simplest and most effective ways to avoid distractions is to remove them altogether. There’s a reason so many diet plans encourage you to remove all the unhealthy food from your kitchen. When you change your visuals, you change your habits.

If your phone is the main distraction in your life (which it probably is), put it in another room entirely while you work. That’s the best step. But if you can’t, choosing to silence notifications, turning on “do not disturb” mode, or using apps that block distracting websites during work hours are all forms of this step.

And if the TV, music, or video game console is what pulls your attention away, turn them off or remove them entirely.

3. Craft a 3-Item To-Do List for the Day

One of the most significant distraction-removing routines of my day is The 3-Item To-Do List. Every day, I choose the three most important tasks I need to complete at work. Oftentimes, I accomplish more than those three items, but those are the nonnegotiables for me to feel productive at the end of day.

What I have found so helpful about this practice is how the three items help me overcome distraction. If, for whatever reason, I feel the day slipping away, reminding myself of the three items I need to complete helps center and motivate me.

On the other hand, long to-do lists can be overwhelming and counterproductive, resulting in scattered attention or an “I’m not going to finish all this anyway…” attitude that lends itself to distraction.

It might sound counterintuitive, but if you want to accomplish more each day and remain more effectively focused, determine your three most important tasks you want to complete. This principle can be applied whether you work at a job or not.

4. Choose a 2-Minute Project to Get Started

Often, distractions are just a form of procrastination. Sometimes distraction trips us up when we’re in the midst of important work. But other times we simply turn to distractions as a means to not get started on important work. As the old saying goes, “Nobody has a cleaner home than an author trying to write a book.”

If this is the type of distraction you are dealing with, commit to just two minutes of work. That is the simple tool I use to overcome procrastination. You can read more about it at that link. But just to overcome any misunderstanding, the goal of this tool isn’t to just accomplish two minutes of work. Instead, the mental decision to just commit to two minutes makes the barrier of entry easier—and once you get started on the work, it’s easier to remain engaged.

5. Try the Pomodoro Technique

The Pomodoro Technique is a time-management method that encourages working in focused bursts with scheduled breaks in between. Here’s how it works: Set a timer for 25 minutes and commit to working on a single task during that time. When the timer goes off, take a 5-minute break to stretch, grab a drink, or relax.

This technique not only helps you stay focused, but actually allows for short periods of intentional distraction—almost like you are scheduling your distraction—making it easier to maintain concentration throughout the day.

6. Keep a Distraction Journal

A distraction journal can also be a helpful tool—especially if the distraction is an important one.

I learned this method from a spiritual mentor. He was advising me on how to stay better focused during solitude and prayer and offered this advice, “Whenever you feel your mind wandering to something you need to do, write the task down on a sheet of paper. The process will tell your mind that you don’t need to keep thinking about it because you wrote it down.”

But I’d like to expand on this idea of writing down our distractions because there are two ways this step can be helpful:

Capturing future tasks: If you’re distracted by thoughts of a task you need to complete later, write it. This practice allows you to refocus on your current work without worrying about what’s next.

Tracking your distractions: Each time you get distracted, write down what the distraction was and when it happened in a journal. After a few days, you’ll begin to notice patterns and trends that can help you avoid those distractions in the future.

7. Declutter Your Space

Physical clutter can be a significant source of distraction. When your space is filled with unnecessary items, your mind is subconsciously pulled in multiple directions. Decluttering your environment can help reduce these distractions, making it easier to focus on the task at hand.

At work, start by clearing your desk, organizing your workspace, and removing anything that doesn’t serve a purpose. At home, start in often-used spaces like your bedroom or living room to remove visual noise where you spend most of your time.

8. Remind Yourself of What Is Most Important

When you feel distracted, take an intentional moment to remind yourself why you’re doing what you should be doing. Whether it’s providing for your family, making a positive impact, or investing in people, reconnecting with your deeper motivations can help you push past temporary distractions.

C.S. Lewis once said, “There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” I’ve found this specific thought to be helpful in overcoming distraction. The most significant goals in front of me are worth more than the distraction I leave behind. By centering our mind on what truly matters, we become internally motivated to stay focused and committed to the task at hand.

The distractions in this world are not going away—they are only going to get worse. That’s why controlling your attention may be the most important skill of the 21st Century.

How to Get Motivated to Minimize

Many of us know the feeling of wanting to live with less but are struggling to find the motivation to get started or continuing to make progress after a quick start. The desire is there, but the energy or commitment to the process can be hard to find at times.

Sometimes we find the work is more emotionally tiring than we thought. Sometimes we realize the project is going to take longer than we thought. Other times, life just gets in the way.

Regardless of the reason, it’s a frustrating place to be—living between where you are and where you want to be. However, it is a feeling that many of us have experienced.

In fact, from the interactions I have with people, there are a lot people living in this struggle. You want the benefits of owning less: more time, more space, less stress. But you’re not sure how to find the motivation to take the first step, or the next one after that.

I want to help. You can move forward. It is possible to break out of that struggle and continue making progress (or get started if that’s where you are). Below are some practical steps to help you get motivated to minimize and declutter your life.

1. Tell Yourself Out Loud That This Is Possible

The first, most important, step in any life change that we desire is to believe it is possible—that this change is something we can actually accomplish and that taking the first step is worth it.

But I’d like to add that one of the most powerfully practical things we can do when starting a big project is to hear our own voice telling us that it is possible. So find a quiet moment, look yourself in the mirror and say out loud: “I can do this.”

2. Understand That It Won’t Be Done Overnight

One of the biggest roadblocks to getting started is the overwhelming thought that everything needs to be done at once. But here’s the truth: minimalism is a process, not a destination. The work of decluttering and minimizing won’t happen in a single weekend or even a single month. And that’s okay. For Kim and me (+ 2 kids), the process took nine months.

Instead of focusing on the enormity of the entire project, narrow your view. Tackle one drawer, one closet, or one room at a time. Set realistic goals. Progress is progress, no matter the pace. When we shift our mindset from “I have to get it all done now” to “I’ll take one step today,” we free ourselves from the pressure of perfection and make room for lasting change.

3. Set a Decluttering Deadline for Each Area

Understanding that this process will take time opens yourself up to not being overwhelmed. That being said, we don’t want to go too slow. And sometimes open-ended projects feel too overwhelming to start.

To counter this and find motivation, give yourself a deadline for each area you want to declutter. I recommend one week for each of your home’s “lived-in” areas (living room, bedroom, bathroom, closet, etc). Storage and less-frequently used rooms might take longer.

Zoë Kim once brilliantly said, “You can always declutter just a little bit at a time, but do you really want to be decluttering for the rest of your life?” She is right! Set a deadline for the areas in your homes. This helps manufacture urgency and focus, helping you overcome procrastination.

4. Write Down a Motivation Greater Than “I Just Want to Own Less”

“I want to own less” is a great goal, but it’s not really enough motivation to get us through the hard parts of decluttering. What we really need is a deeper, more meaningful reason to push us through the process. Take a moment and physically write down your reasons.

Perhaps you want more time with family, less stress about maintaining a large home, or financial freedom from excessive spending. Maybe you crave more space for creative pursuits, want to travel, have faith-based motivations, or just desire to live more aligned with your values. When we attach our minimizing efforts to a purpose greater than just reducing clutter, we tap into a source of motivation that can sustain us when the process gets tough.

5. Start With What You Know You Don’t Need

Sometimes the hardest part is knowing where to start. A simple way to begin is by focusing on the items you already know you no longer need or use. These are the low-hanging fruits of decluttering—the things that hold no emotional attachment and are easy to part with. It could be kitchen gadgets you haven’t used in years, clothes you never wear, or toys/games that are no loner used.

By starting with these items, you build momentum and create space—both physically and mentally—to tackle more challenging areas later. In fact, here’s a list of 101 places to start.

6. Make a Donation at Your Local Goodwill or Donation Center

A practical way to take immediate action is by making a donation. Fill a box or bag with items you no longer need, drive to your local Goodwill or donation center, and drop it off. The simple act of getting things out of your home forces you into motion and clears space.

The reality is there might even be a couple of donation boxes or bags already sitting in your home or trunk just waiting to get dropped off. Do it today, There’s a sense of accomplishment that comes with knowing you’ve not only removed clutter but also contributed to someone else’s life.

7. Find Accountability and Support

Getting motivated is easier when we don’t feel like we’re doing it alone. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or an online community, finding support and accountability can make a big difference. Share your goals with someone who can encourage you along the way. Better yet, find someone who’s also interested in minimizing, and commit to helping each other stay motivated.

8. Watch This Video: The Story of Stuff

Sometimes all it takes is a little outside inspiration to reignite your motivation. Watch The Story of Stuff, a short film that highlights the impact of overconsumption on our world. The video is 20-years old but is equally relevant today as the day it was published. It was one of the most motivational videos I watched while pursuing minimalism and I know it will inspire you as well.

Signs He’s Not In Love, He’s Love Bombing You

Here are the red flags you may be experiencing a manipulation tactic known as love bombing, according to a researcher specializing in narcissism and psychopathy. 

Love bombing is a manipulative tactic associated with narcissistic traits. When a manipulator shows excessive displays of affection and attention toward their dating partner and maintaining constant contact to get them invested in the relationship early on without having to put effort in into the relationship long-term, they are love bombing you. Here are five signs what you’re experiencing isn’t love – it’s love bombing, future faking, and intense physical chemistry.

The intense physical chemistry feels dangerous. 

When you’re around a magnetic, charismatic manipulator, the spark between you two can feel larger than life. You feel physically drawn to each other by a connection that is not just physical but also emotional from the constant attention you’ve received from the love bomber. Yet you may experience a great deal of anxiety along with this chemistry – manifesting in heart palpitations, dizziness, stomachaches, and sweaty palms. That’s because a narcissistic manipulator has all the tools to get you to feel special and desirable with their tender compliments and extravagant displays of romance, but your intuition is screaming out for help. Love bombing is an adrenaline rush that warns you of danger ahead. Watch out. This type of spark tends to fizzle out quickly as the red flags begin to pop up. 

The relationship moves too quickly for your comfort. 

If a dating partner is asking for your hand in marriage only after a couple dates as anything other than a flirtatious joke, you should be wary. If they’re in constant contact with you, taking up hours of your time each day with texts, phone calls, and long conversations, they’re trying to fast-forward the relationship without putting in the time and effort to organically get to know you. 

You feel entranced by the promise of the relationship, but not fully connected with them. 

When you’re being love bombed, you’ll get the simultaneous sense that you’ve known your dating partner for decades, but that they’re still a stranger to you. That’s because they are. In the beginning, the love bomber makes grand promises to love you, take care of you, and build a thriving life of long-lasting marriage and children. But stay aware: this is likely future faking, not future making. If you do not know each other well enough yet to be making such a commitment, the love bomber is probably trying to carry out another agenda altogether: whether it’s trying to sleep with you or conning you into an exploitative relationship where they can use your resources and emotional labor.

You develop an addiction to the fantasy of the relationship rather than the person and experience withdrawal symptoms when they start blowing hot and cold. 

The honeymoon period with a love bomber rarely lasts or evolves into a long-lasting love. Even when the love bomber starts showing red flags, you feel inclined to dismiss or rationalize them. That’s because experiencing the euphoria of love bombing can be akin to drug addiction. This is rooted in the biochemical nature of love. Love lowers an individual’s serotonin levels to a similar level as those with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and activates the reward centers of the brain, creating an intense dopamine high that is extremely difficult to detox from. Dr. Helen Fisher discovered that the brains of people in love resemble the brains of cocaine addicts. This is why you may experience a deep withdrawal effect when the object of your affection is not around or when they’ve withdrawn from you.

The nature of the relationship is turbulent and inconsistent.

Life is Not a Spectator Sport

Life, it seems to me, is not a spectator sport. It is not something that happens to us while we sit on the sidelines.

Just the opposite: Life is something we are meant to participate in fully. Even more, it is something we will never fully appreciate or make the most of until we engage our whole selves in it.

But, too often, we withdraw. Or at the very least, we find ourselves waiting—waiting for the right moment, the right opportunity, the perfect circumstances. We convince ourselves that we’ll take action when things align just right. But here’s the reality: life doesn’t wait for us. The days and hours keep ticking by.

If there’s something you’ve always wanted to do, now is the time to do it.

We all have dreams, ambitions, and ideas about the kind of life we want to live. Maybe it’s a passion you’ve been neglecting, a project you’ve always wanted to start, or a cause you’ve felt drawn to. Whatever it is, it’s time to stop waiting and start doing. There’s no perfect time and there’s no guarantee that things will fall into place later. You could spend your life on the sidelines.

The only thing we can do and can control is that we show up. We take a step, starting with where we are, what we have, and what we know. Jump while you can.

Other times, we sit on the sidelines by placing blame on ourselves, other people, or even society for the things we don’t like about our lives. Again, we fall into the trap of letting life happen to us, rather than getting actively involved in changing our lives for the better—and the world for the better as well.

When I conducted my survey research for Things That Matter, one of the most heart-breaking statistics I discovered is that “62% of people believe their past mistakes are holding them back from achieving the future they’d like to have.” Even more heart-breaking, “55% of people say that ‘wrongs committed against me’ are holding them back from achieving the future they’d like to have.”

No doubt, there are great mistakes and evils that are committed in this world—and some of them were directly committed against you. I am so sorry to know that.

It is easy to point fingers at others or your past self and blame them for the current condition of your life. And I’m not saying it’s going to be easy to overcome that past hurt and pain that exists in your life. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be active in confronting it and working to overcome it.

The responsibility for action is yours, and it’s yours alone. No one else is going to live your life for you. If we ever want to see change, whether in our own lives or in the world around us, we have to be people of action and activity. We are the ones to make it happen.

I think in our world today, it is easy to be a spectator. We can spend hours and hours watching television series and never reach the end of available programming. We can scroll 24 hours/day on social media, we can watch events unfold and talking heads endlessly on news channels, or find another video game to play on our phones or consoles.

But if we want to make a difference—whether in our personal lives, in our communities, or in the world—we need to get involved. It’s not enough to wish things were different or to hope that someone (or the government) will step up to bring about the change we desire. We are the ones who need to act!

If you see a change that needs to happen in your life, you are the only one that can accomplish that. If you see an unhealthy habit in your life, it’s up to you to change it. If you don’t like your clutter, your job, your finances, your relationships, or the current trajectory of your life, it’s up to you to make the change.

Equally so, when you see a need in the world, don’t assume someone else will handle it. Whether it’s standing up for justice, lending a helping hand, or supporting a cause you care about, don’t just sit back and wait for others to take the lead. Each of us has something to offer. We all have unique talents, passions, and experiences that shape how we can contribute. But none of that matters unless we choose to step forward and get involved.

The truth is, life is happening right now. 1,440 minutes are going to pass today—whether you use them for good or merely let them pass by is up to you.

Every day you are alive is another opportunity to make a difference, to move closer to the life we want to live, and to contribute something meaningful to the world around us. So don’t let this one go wasted.

Minimalism has helped me realize this truth more clearly. By owning less, I’ve freed up time, energy, and resources to focus on what matters. I’ve been able to see how much of my life was being wasted on foolish pursuits and readjust accordingly.

But minimalism isn’t my greatest goal—it’s the tool. It’s a way to remove the distractions that keep us from living fully. When we let go of what doesn’t matter, we’re able to focus more on what does. And that’s where the real work begins.

Narcissists Who Are Jealous Of You Display These 4 Subtle Behaviors in Relationships

A researcher specializing in narcissism and psychopathy shares the four behaviors that indicate a narcissist is envious and jealous of you.   

Benign envy and malicious envy are two very different emotional and behavioral states that lead to different outcomes. In benign envy, a person who feels envious or jealous of another person uses that jealousy constructively to fuel their own goals. In malicious envy, a person who is jealous or envious goes out of their way to deliberately undermine someone else’s success in an attempt to belittle and diminish them and “one-up” them to gain power and control. Research reveals that people who have narcissistic and psychopathic traits engage in malicious envy – envy that is destructive and aggressive. Here are four subtle behaviors you may notice if a narcissist is jealous or envious of you. 

They underhandedly sabotage you and place barriers on your path to success. 

Perhaps the clearest sign that a narcissist is envious of you is when they try to prevent you from succeeding by placing obstacles in your path to success. If you have a track record of high performance or are pursuing goals outside of them that threaten their ego, they will seek to regain control to diminish you. For example, a narcissistic husband may prevent his wife from pursuing higher education and attempt to micromanage and control her finances, so she is unable to have the resources to leave him. A narcissistic wife may belittle her husband’s career because she wants him dependent on her approval and always working harder to earn more and please her while she leeches off his resources. A narcissistic co-worker might try to highlight their own achievements while hiding your accomplishments which surpass theirs, in an attempt to gain favor with superiors. Or a narcissistic parent might verbally abuse their children, so they never feel good enough to pursue their ambitions and free themselves from the parent’s control. This is malicious envy to deter you from your goals in action.  

They “neg” you and covertly demean you so you’re less confident about yourself.  

Negging consists of any backhanded comments to disorient you and “humble” you into believing you fall short in some capacity. It is a malignant dating strategy often used by male pick-up artists to make women more compliant to their romantic advances, and unfortunately, it is occasionally effective when weaponized by narcissists to lower your confidence and self-worth, especially if used frequently over time. If a narcissist perceives you to be out of their league in any way, whether it be in appearance, success, talents, personality, popularity, the romantic attention you receive or all of the above, they will seek to lower your perceived value and raise their own perceived value by minimizing and detracting from your assets and positive qualities. For example, when you disclose to a narcissist on a date that you are pursuing your PhD, they may immediately say something like, “Are those degrees worth anything these days? I mean, just wondering,” in a tone of faux innocence to covertly undermine your achievements. Or, if a narcissist is jealous of the attention you get from strangers and other romantic prospects, they might start making cruel “teasing” comments about the way you dress or your makeup in an effort to make you stop dressing up, in the hopes you get less attention. They might say, “You look even better without makeup, not sure why you’re trying to put all that on your face” or if you’re wearing a flattering dress, “Wearing that dress is brave of you. Try something simpler!” These are all attempts to subtly motivate you to change your usual behaviors so you don’t threaten their grandiose self-perception or evoke their insecurities. 

They try to pit you against other people, and other people against you, setting up “competitions” to vie for their attention and approval.

Narcissists and psychopaths are not at peace unless they’re manufacturing chaos. They sadistically derive pleasure and excitement from watching people turn against one another by planting seeds of distrust, suspicion, paranoia, and doubt among the people closest to them, whether they be romantic partners, exes, friends, family members, colleagues, or even acquaintances who are the chosen scapegoats of their envy. Research reveals that they provoke jealousy on purpose for power and control, to exact revenge, test the relationship or in cases of vulnerable narcissism and the second subtype of psychopathy, to compensate for their own insecurities. That is why a narcissistic partner may constantly talk about their ex (in both loving and demeaning ways) to manufacture love triangles to get you to compete for them. That is why a narcissistic friend may gossip about you to your mutual friends and spread rumors, all while engaging in hurt-and-rescue tactics and pretending to “comfort” you when you discover these smear campaigns. That is why narcissistic employees might try to get themselves or one of their cronies promoted rather than create a true meritocracy where the most high-achieving and talented workers are rewarded, all while trying to sabotage you so you don’t climb the corporate ladder. It is all a way for them to stroke their own grandiose ego and attempt to make you feel inferior because they know you surpass them. Otherwise, they would not have to try so hard to sabotage you or demean you. 

They constantly move the goal posts and hypercriticize and nitpick you, so you never feel “enough” no matter what you do.

10 Behaviors That Can Destroy Relationships

Relationships fall apart all the time for various reasons — cheating, jealousy, distance, or sometimes it just isn’t a match. Sometimes, things are beyond our control. Sometimes the timing just isn’t right, sometimes we just can’t make it work because there is too much fundamental incompatibility.

But other times, it is under our control. We can choose how we show up in our relationships. And this makes a difference in whether it thrives or implodes.

Let’s look at the most common ways people destroy their relationships and how to avoid them.

1. You don’t communicate.

Communication is the key to a healthy relationship, we’ve all heard this one before. But how many of us make it a priority to truly connect with our partner?

In this day and age of digital devices, it’s just so easy to get lost in that and real-life relationships take a backseat. Next time you go out look around at how many couples or groups of friends are sitting together and all just looking at their phones. ‘

It’s easy to get lost in the shuffle and the grind of everyday life, but you have to make it a priority to actually talk to each other.

Communication plays an even more vital role when conflicts arise, which they inevitably will even in the best relationships.

It’s hard to have those honest, uncomfortable conversations because they bring up all sorts of unpleasant feelings we don’t want to feel but if you don’t talk about it, then the problems will persist and resentment will start to build.

Healthy communication can be challenging if you grew up in a home with unhealthy communication. You may find that you get overly defensive, you stonewall or shut down, you ice him out, or maybe you get extremely combative. All of these are unhealthy coping mechanisms being activated by a triggering situation, and a simple argument can be highly triggering for certain people.

When you feel those defenses going up, recognize that this is your “Protector” coming to save you. This “Protector” played a vital role when you were younger and didn’t have many skills. But you’re an adult now and you can cope in healthier ways so just ask her to step aside so you can do that.

Awareness is the first step. So just be aware of your weak spots and work on strengthening those communication skills.

2. Lack of empathy.

This is a tough one because it’s very easy to get caught up in our own experience of the relationship. It’s easy to feel like we’re the victim and it’s unfair and we’re right and he’s wrong and we’re doing everything in this relationship and getting nothing back.

I know it can feel that way in the heat of the moment, but it’s important to step back and look at your partner with more empathetic eyes. I’m not saying your hurt isn’t valid, but it won’t get you anywhere to blame him fully, he’ll just get defensive and the conversation won’t go anywhere. (And it goes without saying your partner should also activate his empathy and try to see things from your perspective).

When you can’t see his perspective, then he doesn’t feel heard and when and this will cause a breakdown in communication which will create distance between you, and the more distance there is, the less intimacy there is.

3. Too much criticism.

Why do we do this? We hate being criticized but sometimes just can’t help but do it to our partners.

It doesn’t motivate him to change and instead makes him resentful and annoyed and even less likely to do what you want.

It also creates a parent/child dynamic, where you’re his mother scolding him, and there is nothing less sexy than that.

If you are overly critical, then look deeper into where that comes from. Usually, the thing we’re most critical about in others is what we are most critical about in ourselves.

Take a look at what’s really bothering you.

Maybe you’re criticizing him for the way he folded the laundry but really, you just feel out of control in your life, like nothing is quite right. Maybe you don’t feel heard. Maybe you feel resentment toward him for not meeting certain needs and instead and it manifests as criticism.

And yes, sometimes we have valid critiques and it’s fine to bring issues up, just make sure you’re doing it in a respectful, compassionate way.

4. Being Deceptive.

There is never a good reason to be sneaky in your relationship. If you feel this need, ask yourself why.

Do you think you’re partner will get angry? Are you trying to present yourself in a certain light and you’re afraid your real self won’t be good enough?

Trust is everything. If you can’t trust him and he can’t trust you, what are we even doing here?

5. No respect.

Dr. John Gottman, the guy famous for being able to predict whether a couple will divorce with 90% accuracy, cites contempt as one of the leading factors of whether a relationship will fall apart. And of the greatest indicators of that in his research is eye-rolling.

Contempt conveys “I’m better than you, I don’t respect you and I’m just going to roll my eyes at everything you say because I find it so stupid.”

Mocking your partner and being sarcastic, and not in a playful way, are also signs of contempt.

Contempt can be the result of resentment that went unchecked for way too long.

And I always say resentment is poison for a relationship. Once it creeps in, it festers and soon enough you can’t find any positive qualities about your partner anymore.

If you can’t respect him, you need to ask yourself why. Do you really think he’s just an idiot? If so, why are you with him? Or, are you just trying to protect yourself and self-sabotaging? Or are you angry over things that happened with him in the past that you never addressed?

6. Being too sensitive and insecure.

I’m not saying never get upset when your partner says or does something hurtful, but it’s important to step back sometimes and look at where that hurt is really coming from

We all have sore spots- we all have old wounds that never fully healed and sometimes someone can say something innocent but it just presses on that raw space and we have an extreme reaction.

A lot of the time, those are our own insecurities, it’s how we already felt about ourselves but we blame our partner for “making” us feel a certain way.

For example, if you go to cut yourself a second piece of cake and he asks- are you sure you want that? And you get hysterical and think he’s calling you fat. I chose that as an example because that happened to me a long time ago with a boyfriend. The fact is, I felt insecure in the relationship and like most girls, I was chronically insecure about my body- so when he made that comment, my mind immediately went to “he thinks I’m fat and he’s not attracted to me.”

Your insecurities can really ruin a relationship if you let them run rampant, so just check yourself and see where your feelings are truly coming from

7. Setting him up to fail.

Don’t expect him to read your mind and know what you want and how you want it. If you want a happy relationship, set your partner up to win.

Just be direct, don’t drop hints and then get angry when he doesn’t pick up on them.

If you want him to plan something special for your anniversary, just tell him that! Yes, I know it would be more romantic if he could just intuit exactly what it is you want but he can’t! So just tell him instead of getting upset on the day of.

If you give him directions on how to make you happy, he will! (As long as it’s done in a kind way, not a shaming way).

8. Expecting your partner to fill a void.

Another person cannot repair what’s broken inside you. It might feel like you’ll be all whole and healed from your past trauma once you find someone who loves you enough, but there is no such thing as enough when you have that void because it can never be filled by someone else.

If you outsource the task of being “whole” to your partner then you will never be satisfied and you will resent him for not giving you this thing when really, only you can give it to yourself.

Love won’t heal you and it won’t erase your past pains and trauma. Conversely, love will bring up all that is unloved within you. Whatever it is you haven’t dealt with will keep coming up again and again.

9. Having an agenda.

This is a mistake that usually kills a budding relationship but can also harm an established one. Having an agenda means you want to push the relationship in a certain direction in order to feel good about yourself.

If you’re in the early phases of dating, you may feel this overwhelming need to become official, and you measure all of your interactions in terms of whether they’re taking you closer to or further from that goal. It’s not just about wanting the relationship because you really like this other person and want to create a meaningful partnership, it’s about what it will mean to you and about you. You attach a certain meaning onto having this thing — it will mean you’re worthy, you’re OK, you won’t end up alone, etc.

10. Avoiding confrontation.

Happy couples aren’t couples who never fight, they just don’t fight dirty. Arguements can actually be healthy and are a chance to grow as a couple, but only if you use them to reach a resolution.

If you’re having problems, nothing will change if you ignore it. Rather, you’ll end up becoming bitter and resentful and this will poison your relationship.

Avoiding confrontation can also cause you to act passive aggressive and this never takes things in a positive direction!

Why You Self-Sabotage Your Relationships

Sometimes we are our own worst enemies and sabotage our chances of getting what we really want. Relationships, careers, fitness…we can derail ourselves in all areas of life. It’s a hard reality to confront … when there’s no one to blame.

I’ve been writing about relationships for years and can’t help but notice patterns in where women go wrong. It’s not anyone’s fault. No one sets out with bad intentions, trying to sabotage their relationship. Usually, all a woman wants is to keep her relationship strong and happy. She wants it to last, but oftentimes she still ends up doing things that can push a guy away and ruin a relationship.

One area where people go wrong is in not working on themselves and letting less-than-ideal character traits go unchecked. I think that on the one hand, we’d like to believe that this is the way we are and the person we’re with should just take it or leave it, on the other hand, we realize that isn’t really the healthiest attitude, especially when it comes to negative tendencies like being insecure, clingy, needy, jealous, vengeful, hostile and on and on.

Yeah, being this way might be “yourself,” but it’s the worst of you.  Why not make an effort to refine those weak spots and be your best self? This is how you win.

Let’s look at some common areas where a lot of women go wrong in relationships and how to resolve them:

1. You choose partners who can’t give you what you want.

You will never get what you want if you keep settling for what you don’t want.

Maybe you’re only drawn to emotionally unavailable people who just don’t treat you right

Going for partners like this is a form of self-sabotage. It can happen when deep down you feel unworthy, you feel not good enough. And these feelings are usually rooted in childhood pain and trauma.

So deep down you have these beliefs about yourself, and then you go out into the world and try to date and try to find a partner but you only seem drawn to the ones who don’t want you. And this is because the subconscious mind is always looking to prove itself right. If you believe you are unworthy, you will be drawn to partners who make you feel that way.

When someone does show genuine interest, you may be put off because this doesn’t align with how you see yourself. You don’t truly like yourself and you, again this is subconscious, believe anyone who does like or love you must be fatally flawed.

2. You don’t understand your triggers.

Don’t let your emotions run the show, you have to look at why you’re reacting the way you are in certain situations. When we have an intense, reflexive emotional response, it’s usually the result of a core wound being touched upon or activated.

Try to identify what it is, especially when you have a strong reaction to something pretty trivial.

Trace it back to your childhood- what were your unmet needs? And how might these needs be showing up in your adult relationships?

Whatever unmet needs you had in childhood are bound to get touched upon in a relationship and a lot of the time, that’s what you’re reacting to.

3. You commit too soon.

If you latch onto someone forcefully and commit yourself too soon, it’s usually a sign that you’re using this person as a means to fill an emotional void.

Healthy relationships build slowly and evolve organically. There isn’t a need to force things to move in a certain direction.

When you feel an intense pull toward someone or are consumed with trying to win them over and prove yourself to them, it signals you have self-esteem issues you need to work through. Maybe you see this person as a chance to save you from something.

And the other person will most likely be put off by this. First, it doesn’t feel earned, and second, we can all sense when someone is trying to get something out of us and it doesn’t feel good.

You also may come across as too desperate and needy and this is a universal turn-off.

4. You’re too scared.

A lot of people are operating from a place of fear, they stay in bad relationships fearing they won’t find better… or they are consumed with fears of ending up alone.

When you come from a place of worry and anxiety, you’re basically saying “I don’t trust that things will work out for me so I’m going to question everything until I prove myself right.”

When you operate from fear and engage with negative, fearful thoughts, you perpetuate the very reality that you’re afraid of. It’s hard to connect when you’re in this worried state, it’s hard to be vulnerable and drop your guard when deep down you believe nothing is ever going to work out in your favor. This, in turn, will push away the very thing you want the most.

You have to get to the heart of the fear- where is it coming from? What is the root? And challenge the fears. Maybe you think you won’t find anyone… is that true? Can you know with 100% certainty that’s true? No, you can’t. So stop engaging with a thought that keeps you stuck where you don’t want to be.

Notice your thoughts throughout the day and ask yourself: Does this thought serve me well? Does this take me where I want to go? If the answer is no, then stop engaging with the thought!

5. You are the victim.

Look, it happens to the best of us. We fall into the victim mentality and it’s hard to get out of it.

It doesn’t feel good, but in a way, it does feel easier to blame outside circumstances for our misfortune… to relinquish any personal blame and responsibility.

And I’m not saying greater forces aren’t at play… but it doesn’t serve you to dwell on that which is outside your control.

You need to take responsibility. Take responsibility for yourself, for your life, for your actions and reactions.

Yes, I know life isn’t fair. And it’s more unfair to some than others. But wallowing in this doesn’t serve you, it stunts you.

You have to look at yourself in the mirror and ask: How am I contributing to my misfortune? And how can I turn it around?

How are you keeping yourself stuck and what can you do today to break free?

Psychopaths Display These 4 Sadistic Emotional Habits in Romantic Relationships

A researcher specializing in narcissism and psychopathy shares the four emotional habits that can help you identify a psychopath in relationships. 

They provoke their partners on purpose with cruelty and feign innocence, while appearing “calm” in response to their emotional reactions. This is a deliberate attempt to paint their partners as unstable.

Psychopaths are known for their emotional impoverishment and studies show that their brains react differently to fear-related cues and lacks a typical empathic response when envisioning others in pain (in fact, the part of their brains related to reward is activated, indicating they may take pleasure in inflicting pain on others). Conveniently, their brains only show a typical empathic response when they envision themselves in pain. These differences in empathy and a desire to gain stimulation from the emotions of others are evident in their behavior in romantic relationships. For example, psychopathic partners may verbally abuse a romantic partner, only to gaslight them as “crazy” when they react. Or, they may say something heinous but covert to their partners in a calm voice, so their victims react in a public setting – this is also known as a “dog whistle,” references that only the psychopathic person and their partner would understand. They might taunt and insult their partners behind closed doors right before an event with mutual friends and family so the victim appears to be the emotionally distraught one around others they know. They pathologize the emotions of others, but these are emotions they go out of their way to provoke. In reality, psychopaths themselves lack emotional mastery, but are emotionally shallow and aggressive enough to violate others and treat them cruelly without guilt or remorse. They take pride in pretending they are superior because they can poke and prod at their victims, taunting and bullying others with abhorrent cruelty and smugly taking inventory of their reactions while seeming nonreactive themselves due to their emotional shallowness.

They frequently create love triangles and manufacture chaos in your life to create emotional whiplash and uncertainty.

Research reveals that both psychopathic and narcissistic partners orchestrate scenarios where they can wield power and control over others. One of these situations is the case of jealousy induction, where they provoke jealousy on purpose to test the relationship, gain control over their partners, or exact revenge. In cases of the more impulsive psychopathic subtype, they may also do so to compensate for insecurity. This is why, in a relationship with a psychopathic or narcissistic individual, you may be constantly inundated with reminders of their exes, people they express interest in, or the “threat” of other love interests frequently introduced into the dynamic of the relationship. This is the type of person who may flaunt flirting with others in front of you, brings up exes on romantic dates with you or talks about attractive friends or co-workers without shame or guilt on a daily basis, all while feeding off your reactions. They may also engage in emotional cheating and drop subtle hints over time of what they’re doing and gaslight you to keep you off-edge and off-kilter about what they’re really up to. They can also manufacture chaos in other ways by staging “break-ups” to keep you feeling uncertain about the state of the relationship, or by sabotaging special events, vacations, holidays, birthdays, and friendships to keep you isolated from deriving emotional fulfillment from sources outside of them. This keeps you dependent on them. Normal, healthy, empathic people do not weaponize such tactics, but in a relationship with a psychopath, you will be continually bombarded with attempts to devalue you and make you “compete” for their attention and approval. 

They project their own vindictiveness and egotism onto their partners, creating distortions of who they are.

Partners of psychopaths note that they were often accused of having the qualities and traits the psychopathic person possessed – for example, they may have been accused of being manipulative, disloyal, egotistical, or hostile when these were actually the personality traits of the psychopath. These types of malignant projections are used to create a distortion of the victim so they cannot identify the manipulation that is occurring and feel emotionally invalidated in their suffering. The motive of this tactic is to instill self-blame and escape accountability. A psychopath’s aggressiveness, which is often unprovoked (if they meet the “primary” subtype of psychopathy rather than the more violent, impulsive “secondary” subtype) are often based on inaccuracies and projections that veer on a delusional depiction of their victims. They may paint their victims as the unstable and vindictive ones, but reality reveals quite a different picture: psychopaths are hardly zen masters, but rather, sadistic, egotistical, deliberate, and vengeful, becoming quite thin-skinned when they perceive a threat to their sense of entitlement and exhibiting extreme hostility or underhanded ploys to violate people to maintain power and control. Some psychopaths even escalate into reactive violence, while others continue to engage in instrumental aggression, harming others for profit, pleasure, or another personal agenda. When victims of psychopathic aggression and manipulation do not give them the emotional reactions they expected or remain calm themselves, psychopaths will still maintain the illusion that their partners are “out of control” and “unhinged,” by projecting their own lack of control onto others and engaging in smear campaigns or gossip to slander and isolate the victim. 

They treat their partners with contempt and devalue them on a whim.

The Power of Saying ‘No’ to Embrace What Matters

The more you say “no” to things that don’t matter, the easier it is to say “yes” to things that do.

Imagine for a moment your life as a garden. Every plant represents something in your life: a commitment, a possession, a relationship, an obligation, a hobby, or an activity.

Over time, the garden adds more and more plants as we add more and more things. Many of these obligations and activities get bigger and bigger over time, taking up more and more space. Without careful pruning, the garden becomes fuller and fuller.

Of course, as with any garden over time, it will consist of more than just plants and flowers. Weeds will inevitably begin to grow.

Sometimes these weeds are blown into our life, sometimes they are of our own making, and other times they are simply distractions that steal more and more of our garden’s real estate. Either way, they don’t usually align with our values and deepest heart desires.

Although I don’t keep a garden here in Phoenix (other than a rosemary plant in my front yard), gardening is an activity I’ve always loved. My grandfather’s garden was famous in his small town. I loved helping my dad (who grew up on a farm) tend to our backyard garden when I was growing up. And I maintained a small garden at each of my homes before moving here to the desert.

And one thing I’ve learned: to grow the best vegetables (or to admire the most beautiful flowers) you must be diligent in removing the weeds and providing space for the plants and flowers to flourish.

The same is true of our lives, by learning to say “no” and by pruning our lives intentionally, we make room for the things in life that bring both beauty and fruit.

There are lots of reasons why people have a hard time saying no.

If that is you, it might be helpful to remember that saying ‘no’ might be the most productive thing you do. Weeding a garden and pruning plants is not wrong or selfish, it is required for fruitfulness.

Likewise, considered correctly, saying ‘no’ isn’t about attracting confrontation, letting people down, or limiting your potential at work or in life. Saying ‘no’ is about living your most intentional life focused on what matters.

Saying ‘no’ allows us to protect our time, energy, and resources. And it frees us to function at our best in the world. When we stop filling our days with unnecessary commitments and distractions, we begin to see clearly the things that bring us joy and fulfillment and have the space to let them flourish.

Consider the act of minimizing your possessions. Every item you choose to remove from your home and life creates space and peace. Each ‘no’ to an unnecessary possession is a ‘yes’ to simplicity and focus. And every purchase we reject is more money that can be spent elsewhere.

Reflect on your daily routine. How many activities do you engage in out of habit or obligation rather than genuine desire or thoughtfulness? How many hours are wasted each day on devices or purposeless entertainment? Every weed we pull and every hour we take back, opens up the possibility of saying ‘yes’ to something more meaningful and life-giving.

Think about your work and career. Are there things we must do at work that are not entirely enjoyable? Certainly. But is saying ‘yes’ to everything for the purpose of getting ahead or making more money working for you in the short-term and the long-term? Or do the words of Warren Buffett cause you to stop and reevaluate, “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say ‘no’ to almost everything.”

Minimalism is essentially about intention. It’s about removing distractions that keep us from our values. It’s the deliberate choice to focus on our values, our limitations, and those pursuits worth the one life we have to live. This philosophy can transform not only our physical spaces but also our schedules, habits, and well-being.

With fewer distractions, we gain clarity and focus. We become more present in our daily lives and more engaged in our relationships. We find time for personal growth, creativity, and rest. Our stress levels decrease and our sense of fulfillment increases.

When the weeds are removed, space for beauty and fruit is found.

5 Beautiful, Inspiring Lessons From Netflix ‘Heartstopper’

The right people will love you for exactly who you are.

A difficult truth: Not everyone will like you or accept you or understand you. But that’s okay, because when you find your people, they will love you for exactly who you are. You won’t feel the need to change who you are or fit into their mold of who they think you should be. Charlie and his group of friends is the perfect example of this—they love him unconditionally, no matter what anyone else has to say about it.

If you live your life according to other people’s expectations, you might miss out on true happiness.

It can be hard to be different, to stand out, to not be the person everyone wants you to be. It’s easier to mold yourself to others’ expectations because there’s a lot less pushback that way. But can you ever be truly happy if you can’t actually be who you are? By living the life other people want for you, you’re choosing to give up the life you want. And while that may seem like the easiest option in the moment, you’ll realize you’re missing out on the things in life that might actually bring you total fulfillment and happiness.

Platonic love is just as important as romantic love.

Sure, everyone wants to be in love, but there are more kinds of important human connection than just romance. Friendship can be just as powerful and can make you feel just as accepted, understood, and fulfilled. Charlie’s entire friend group was full of couples (or burgeoning ones), but that didn’t stop them from valuing their platonic relationships just as much as their romantic ones, and their friends were just as supportive and loving as their partners. Love in all forms is powerful—don’t underestimate it.

For every person who makes you feel small, there is someone else who thinks the world of you.

It’s easy to focus on the critical voices and to let the hurt others have inflicted on us overpower our senses. This pain can change our opinion of ourselves or our overall worldview, making it harder to see the people who love us entirely, who see all the good inside us. But you are not the bad things that happened to you or the bad things that have been said to you. You are loved and valued and worthy of happiness. And when you find those people who hold compassion for the pain you feel and can see all the beauty hidden underneath, hold onto them tightly.

Love won’t always look exactly like we expect it to—but I hope you embrace it anyway, because it is beautiful all the same.

How to Make Natural Dyes for Fabric

Have you ever wanted to create your own custom fabric dyes but didn’t know where to start? You’ve come to the right place! In this post, I’ll be sharing how to create fabric dyes from natural elements like fruits, vegetables, plants, and other natural elements.

Natural fabric dyeing is such an awesome way to add vibrant colours to fabrics while minimizing environmental impact. These dyes are sustainable and eco-friendly, and can create some truly stunning hues and colours on fabrics with just a little bit of work.

Sustainability and eco-consciousness has become an important aspect of our lives in the recent years, as we strive to protect and preserve our planet for future generations. Traditional textile dyeing processes often involve harmful chemicals that pose risks to human health and the environment.

Thankfully, natural dyeing offers a sustainable solution. By harnessing the power of nature’s very own colour palette, we can reduce our ecological footprint and contribute to a more sustainable future!

Natural dyes are derived from renewable resources and are biodegradable, ensuring that the dyeing process has minimal impact on ecosystems.

Additionally, the use of natural dyes supports local farming communities, as many dye materials can be sourced from plants and crops cultivated sustainably.

By embracing natural dyeing techniques, we can reduce water pollution, conserve energy, and foster a more conscious and responsible approach to textile production.

One of the most wonderful aspects of natural dyeing is that it can be a fun and engaging DIY project! Whether you are an experienced textile artist or a curious beginner, experimenting with natural dyes allows you to unleash your creativity and explore the wonders of colour creation.

It connects us with nature and fosters a deeper appreciation for the world around us. Moreover, natural dyeing provides a sense of satisfaction and fulfilment as you witness the transformation of plain fabrics into unique and visually captivating pieces.

The outcomes of natural dyeing are truly remarkable. Each dye material holds its distinct characteristics, resulting in colours that exhibit depth, variation, and subtle nuances. Natural dyes create a sense of connection to the Earth, with colours that evoke the seasons, landscapes, and natural beauty.