Bog witch gay

So it is very important to understand Adam is the least important part of the polycule. Well. That's not true. He's more important than the second husband (added today! Mazel tov!) but less important than the wives. Micaela and Madison are very hot women who look like sisters and have been best friends for over a decade (sound familiar?). I can only presume from their social media comments that they've been fucking each other and their conquests together for just as long. I'm actually gonna start with today's posts because I need you to understand the seriousness of the situation

Do we see? Do we understand!?? Good. I know very little but I will take you on a gay tour of their most incriminating moments, doing my best to ignore the typical straight girl comments so you too comprehend the truth of the polycule. Take my hand as I weave lies (THEY'RE FUCKING).

Vertex one: Adam

Adam has liked every single one of Micaela and Madison's posts. Boy is dedicated. He's commented at a near equal level as well. A sampling:

And of course it is mutual:

Now at this point I was like. Well surely this is one of those terrible straight jokes. Where they pretend to be gay to show how woke and comfortable in their sexuality they are. But then there is the Gaudette wedding itself, at which they three committed to each other and Adam was caught sending heart-eyes at them:

I am truly lost for words. I'm just gonna be pointing at things and making noises the rest of this post basically. Next, Micaela has a baby! Madison is beside herself ("my best friend is making me a new best friend"). Naturally they make her the godmother as her birthday present.

It's genuinely very sweet. Let's move on to the sex toy Madison's husband.

Vertex Two: Dalton

This guy is a football player for the AFL Texans and he has no idea he just entered what will inevitably end as a fourway polycule. But Micaela's testing the fences:

Yeah they're gonna turn that boy into a couch. And by the recent wedding photo, Adam's on board.

Vertices 3-4: Micaela & Madison

The MEAT of the thing. I apologize deeply for the weird way these will look but I am up to the tumblr photo limit and had to get creative because they're vital inclusions:

The first photo is part of a 'how it's going vs how it started' carousel of the two of them posted by Madison— this is 'how it started'. Micaela commented something uncouth about the hot dog. The 'how it's going' picture is a sweet couples photo of them sitting in an arena, Micaela's hand on Madison's knee in an air of comfortable ownership.

The second photo is a headless bikini shot of Micaela's tan which has clearly made Madison feral. Moving on! To more gay degeneracy.

2 for 1 wives??? Can't wait to smooch LESBIAN EMOJI and reenact these LESBIAN EMOJI????

It's also important to note that Micaela referred to Adam as #breedingmaterial. Clearly these dastardly women have been planning how to have a kid together for years and are using Adam to facilitate. He seems pleased as punch to be involved. Poor Dalton is gonna have a hell of an initiation.

On an rpfing note: the wacklins should go to Micaela for their big queer questions. Cat is great but she lacks experience.

Okey doke I need to get this out to the newsboys hot off the presses so just leaving you with this picture of the lesbian wives and their son: