Happiness is underrated

they're scared cuz under socialism strap gets you pregrant

ⓘ this post was flagged by fact checkers as truer words never been spoken

I'm so so sick of open world games

Every time a series makes the switch to being open world it's like. Okay that's just what you're gonna have to be from now on huh. Like the Open World is held on such a high pedestal that once you've made the switch you're never going to be allowed to make anything else. Everything just has to homogenize into this one specific gameplay loop of walking the fuck around an open space.

Evil version of myself with bad taste playing an older game with a smaller but more detailed and refined map that acts as its own elaborate puzzle and story telling device and is satisfying to progress through: "I sure do wish I had the player freedom to walk through a field aimlessly so I could find one of six types of collectibles right about now"

Astroturf Druid who can speak to plastic xmas trees and transform into a lawn flamingo

the faded, once-beloved tumblr diva ushers you into her projection room and has her gay butler put on a reel of hit posts from days of yore. “look at me” she says, clutching your arm a little too tightly with her sharp sharp nails and puffing on a gold cigarette holder, hoping the smoke will hide the tears brimming in her eyes “wasnt i beautiful”

how come when my laptop updates it just makes it run worse

They should invent a phrase as incredibly evocative as "killing myself" that isnt about killing yourself