You take up the most room in my heart.
@tenderbled

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@tenderbled
You take up the most room in my heart.
@tenderbled

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âĽ
click here for a starter my Trashy butt took 38 years to post !
starter for @sungrown !  /  * ⼠â hug my muse !
                    SPLIT SECOND  --  thatâs all it takes  --  a blink of green hues as she studies the streets in confusion  ,  contemplating her need for a MAP  ,  and squints against the harsh sunâs rays.  a split second  ,  before the streets are filled to the brim with the groans  &  growls of the undead eyeing their next meal like predator to prey.  delilah SWEARS the place was as empty as boulder county has ever been only a moment prior ; despite a few strays she had come across in her travels  ,  she had never come across more than a dozen max. today? she stopped trying to count after thirty  ,  and more  & more seemed to follow in their aftermath  ;  bloodshot eyes targeting the blonde with a HUNGER  ,  and itâs downright terrifying how fast they move once they find their next KILL.
        feet hit the pavement with urgency  ,  till she can fill her muscles tiring  &  her lungs begin to struggle  ;  sheâs hyperventilating  ,  she can feel it ,  a chest rising faster than it falls. a PANIC she tries to swallow only to feel it creep back up again moments later  ---  sheâs not fast enough  ,  sheâs not strong enough  ,  she doesnât want to DIE  ---  her pulse pounding in her ears  mixes in with those same groans &  growls that warned her of their arrival  ,  now they haunt her with each corner she turns  &  no matter how far she seems to travel  ,  she canât drown out the sounds.  few times she lets out a cry of frustration as she feels her pace slowing  ,  as she feels herself giving in  (  she canât stop  ;  if she stops she collapses  ,  and if she collapses sheâs a GONER.  )  and when she feels herself slam into another figure?  human-like  &  soft ,  she figures her time has run out.
     but then words greet her ears  ,  a voice that is SWEET ; and delilah stops her struggles  ,  in her attempts to push them away  ---  finds herself wrapping her arms around them instead  ,  burying red cheeks  &  eyes that glisten with tears into their chest , holding them close. stranger or not , itâs a COMFORT.  â  iâm sorry ,  â  the words are muffled , choked , and she pulls back just enough to look up at the maleâs face with desperation.  â  i canât  ---  i donât know what to do , thereâs so many. â  suddenly eyes widen in consciousness  , and a hand grips his shoulder in FEAR.  â youâve . . . youâve heard the broadcast , right ?  you need to find somewhere safe , now. â  Â
so my friend killed a moth and he kind of justÂ
* mxtiltonâ !
He shifts so Delilah can sit, curling his legs up underneath him. He moves slowly so he doesnât spill the drink she got him â the perfect start to the day. Once upon a time, it was the perfect start to every day. He took another slow sip, letting the warmth roll down his throat and fill his empty stomach.
It took him a few more moments to fully wake up, but he finally catches up with her energizer bunny attitude. Most days, he can match her stride for stride. But where Delilah talks at a mile a minute, Max hardly talks at all. He gives a small shrug at her ideas for the future, smiling sadly. Starbucks and traffic and billsâŚ
âI hope,â he said simply, hiding his doubts behind another sip. Even if they could find a cure, or a vaccine, or some kind of treatment, Max didnât think things would ever go back to the way they were. Not with all the people theyâd lost. His whole life, only one person had ever been family to him, and she was gone for a long time now. But he had Delilah. He had Claire. âBut if our hopes are right, youâre still not getting rid of me.â
         delilah is a HOPEFUL person , that you canât deny when sheâs running around dreaming up possibilities about a future that may or may not come true ; she wishes for a promising one , one that isnât so filled with death  &  MALICE. perhaps even one where she can have the same things she wanted before ; family  -- her own family , an ultimate love , a happily ever after.  PITIFUL , some would scoff , because how could she imagine such a life  -- a happy one  -- when the world was this way?  easy , because if she let the darkness of it all drag her down , she would barely be able to pull herself from her bed each morning , she wouldnât be able to keep fighting. sheâd c r u m b l e ;  HOPING is the only option she has.
       she doesnât necessarily believe the infected will suddenly disappear  ,  or a cure will suddenly fall into their palms and everything will be SUNSHINE  &  DAISIES ,  no , but she finds it easier to pain a picture silly little things that may never happen  ,  than fall apart over a lack of faith.  â you donât have to agree , â manicured fingernails clink against the side of her cup in tune & she lifts her shoulders into a shrug.  â  i know itâs a stupid thought  -- or atleast  , most people think itâs stupid. â  most people roll their eyes or give their candid commentary on delilah rosebergâs beliefs of a RESTORED WORLD ! at least sheâs not one to take things to heart.Â
        â  no? â  lips purse to hide the smile there & she sits up straighter to maintain the serious composure needed for deliverance. â  oh darn , i really did hope to finally be rid of you & your infamous life lessons. â  it doesnât take long for the grin to reappear , and a hand comes to wave her words away. â  nah  , i couldnât -- youâd miss me too much  ,  max ; and I GUESS iâd miss you too. â no doubt about it.Â

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*Â cnlydcrknessâ !
a s t r a n g e feeling of comfort always seemed to wash over the teenage boy when the static of that radio roared to life. there was a familiarity there, someone speaking in a calm manner towards him, even if it wasnât a specific message. if anyone had ever asked why he had continued to pack that thing around throughout the months of survival, he always told them it was his fatherâs, something he had left of him, but that was a LIE. It was a beacon of hope for him, but heâd never admit that. this time, though, as the static washed over the serene area around him, there was a sense of p a n i c that seemed to swarm the air riley breathed. a HOARD. It was less than an hour later when he had all of his belongings packed and he began his journey to safety.
     for the longest time , there had only been the BUZZ of static as delilah rosenberg tampered with the controls of an ancient radio ; thick with DUST & questionably operable in the first place. BOULDER COUNTY RADIO was been amongst the whispers delilah has been catching over the past few days , a family that keeps tabs on the citizens of boulder county & updates them on the latest news âround town ( who knew APOCALYPSE GOSSIP was a thing , huh? )  for the longest time , delilah waited for one of those updates , kept the channel going JUST IN CASE ; buzzing on that false hope & watching the world pass by as the searches for new patrons to rescue on the way back to balfour senior living. then the words come in , a voice filled with WARNING -- warning that delilah intends to take seriously. sheâs never been one to question authority , especially when it came with a notice for impending devastation & probable death. â  hey --- hey !  â she calls out , taking the stairs two at a time as she hurries down the steps ; the boy is only a few meters off , alive , and delilah canât help but feel the concern growing in her chest for the stranger.  â  have you heard the broadcast? â she pauses , hovering on the last step as she awaits his reaction --- ENEMY OR ALLY? either way , delilah smiles  & continues on with her offer (  everyone deserved to be saved , that delilah is PASSIONATE about.  )  â  if you need shelter  ,  i know a place. â Â
*Â prditfloremâ !
âsee if a dog wonât eat it then why would you? itâs just nasty like i remember when i was younger i would steal it from people just to throw it away. itâs very unhealthy as wellâ but this wasnât the time to talk about health or to worry about it no matter how much aster wanted to, there was no way she could go back to her typical diet of fruits and salads and vitamins and all of that was very healthy and made her FEEL good and alive, now with a simple strawberry the blonde girl was happy. â we donât have to move on because i mean it hasnât passed but we can learn to live in it, sure things will never really be as before but thereâs still so many amazing things that we can enjoyâ. aster would be lying if she said she was never scared, the first few weeks of the outbreak she was TERRIFIED, not knowing if she was going to survive or what was going to happen to pretty much everyone and everything, now a she was a bit more calm about it, she understood that it happened and now she had no other choice than to live in fear or try and live her life as best as she could enjoying every little things. aster couldnât help but smile at delilahâs little story, she loved learning about everyone and more about people as kind and honestly beautiful as delilah â nasa has always seemed really interesting, wouldnât it be scary to go to space though? yeah it would be beautiful but it would be so lonely as wellâ, aster was now used to loneliness but still the thought of it still made her quite sad.. she quickly snapped out of her thoughts as soon as delilah changed the subject to her sketchbook, handing her the book asterâs small frown that had been appearing suddenly changed into a smile âthis sunset, i was thinking of seeing if i could get some better painting supplies and maybe recreate it in a mural inside the campâ
       â  you used to steal from people? oh aster , you donât seem like that sort of girl. â  it sparks a laugh from the blonde ; aster? stealing? JUST to throw it away? i suppose it does sound like her , but itâs hard to imagine aster being SLY when sheâs so sweet ---- but then youâd never picture delilah running from the cops because her brother decided to steal their car & go for a joyride either ( you could never seem to catch a rosenberg though , all of them had the cardio from years of running from the badges. )  â youâre right. â she doesnât say what she wants to say , a moment of hesitance that brings her to smile & say those two words instead of: i prefer it this way , i prefer the way the world ended to the way it was before ---- donât get her wrong , she UNDERSTANDS how screwed up it is now , every day is a fight to keep surviving  & every morning sheâs grateful for being given another day. but , somehow she was more fearful of her future before the outbreak than the future she has now.  â  it would be amazing ,  â she breaths , eyes glimmering with wonder & intrigue.  â  imagine just . . . floating  through space -- or landing on the moon ! just . . . seeing the earth from all the way up there.  â a finger points to the skies before it drops back down to her side ; and she wouldnât even have to come back if she didnât want to , she could be one with the stars. â  lonely? i suppose it would get lonely. â she lifts her shoulders to shrug ; LONELINESS is something delilah has grown accustomed to over the years , it doesnât seem to leave that some hollow center ; instead , itâs simply NUMB.  â  but you could always come with me though. â she gives a playful nudge against asterâs shoulder , smile widening into a grin.  â iâd definitely need you around ! you and chester and max and noah. â family is what she means , the people she loves most. itâs completely improbable now though , delilah is just DREAMING of that perfect life. she wonders if the human race would ever go back up there? or . . . who IS still up there staring back down on them?  â a mural would be beautiful ,  â  grasping the sketchbook between her palms , delilah begins admiring the art spread out across the page , fingers brushing the edges of paper filled with a girlâs TALENT & mind -- it was a nice thought , delilah adored aster.  â you captured it perfectly. honestly? youâre such an amazing artist  ,  aster   ---  and iâm not just saying that because iâm your friend & i love everything you do ! no , you're just . . . a natural. â
ich wĂźnsch dir noch n geiles leben mit knallharten champagnerfeten mit fame, viel geld, dicken villen und sonnenbrillen ich seh doch ganz genau dass du eigentlich was anderes willst
* rosescolouredâ !
there   should  be   no  life  in   this  area  of   the  city  and  noahâs   presence  here  has  brought   them  nothing  but   misfortune   :  this  is  the   fourth  time   that  he  and  sabrina  dejectedly   parted  ways,  split  up  and  find   their  checkpoint  on  their  own.  it   doesnât  feel  good  â  every  time  that   noah  is  not  by  her  side  is  a  knife   pressed  closer  and  closer  against  his  throat,   nearing  to   end  his  life.  there  should  be  no   life  in  this  area  but  it  sees  noah   stumbling  around,   until  his  attention  is  caught  by  something  familiar,   someone. Â
heâs   surprised   by  the  sight   of  the  blonde  in   this  particular  part   of  the  city  â  so  much   so  that  he  has  to  look  twice,   eyes  squinting  to  see  past  the  bright   sunlight  that  falls  on  him  with  gentle  caresses.   âi  ââ  heâs  stopped  short  as  her  hands  find  his,   and   warmth  floods  him  like  coffee  in  the  early  mornings   after  a  long  day  of  no  sleep  and  hard  work  â  warmth  that,   frankly,  reminds  him  of   home.  âyouâre  right.  it  isnât  safe  here.â   he  says  and  there  is  not  a  single  second  in  which  he  hesitates.   noah  follows  delilah   (   heâll  follow  her  to  the  ends  of  this  earth   if  he  must   )  and  tries  not  to  let  fear  take  him  so  easily.  Â
he  gives   her  a  smile,  equally  as  enthused  to  see  her  here  regardless.  âhey,   come  on,   now.  that  impending  doom  probably  just  wants  to  say  hi.  it  canât  cause  us  harm   if  we,  uh⌠ maybe  stare  at   really  weird.â  noah  squeezes  her  hand,  âdoing  ten  times   better  now  that  iâm  with  you.  and  yours?â
               it might come as a shock to some , but delilah is a SOLITARY CREATURE by nature ; wandering the streets that boulder county contains alone? feels as routine as waking up in the morning , as breathing. the iowa home where the rosenbergâs were raised was always an EMPTY one  --- parents out who knows where  & children out doing who knows what  --- the youngest rosenberg remembers walking herself to school , tucking herself in bed at night , waking up and falling to sleep to that same e m p t y household. she doesnât blame them ,  her family  , they had lives too  -- they had to support themselves too ; and she doesnât even mind the cards she was dealt  --- after all  ,  itâs made her adjust to the end of the world that much easier.  is that SAD? that she doesnât miss it? does that make her a bad person?
        people help too. make the adaption all the easier ; aster and max and  -----  NOAH. heâs key , one of the reasons delilah finds the strength each morning  & maintain her sanity. heâs got a beautiful soul , as warm as summer nights , and she finds comfort when heâs by her side  & a certain SERENITY in his smile that makes her forget , for a moment , about whatever seems to be weighing her down  --- he makes her feel light as a feather , he makes her feel better.  â i could hear them back there ,  donât know how many but we should find  .  .  .  somewhere.  â  she trails off , eyes tracing the street signs  & buildings they pass in hopes that something will spark a recognition ; a HOPELESS task ,  nothing looks familiar and she can feel the uneasiness swirling within her  ----- but then he speaks , the way noah lau speaks with words that hold promise  &  words that seem to swipe away the fear rising to itâs peak. instinct says itâs a dangerous effect for him to have on her ,  but she appreciates it nonetheless.
       â honestly? words to live by , it canât harm us if weâre not afraid , right?  â   a widening smile  & she pauses in her attempt to find safe refuge to match his pace.  â  thatâs such a cheesy answer  ---  you are such a cheesy guy , noah.  â  she says it with love  & adoration , of course ! it makes her laugh , a hand squeezing his own.  â but iâm over the moon now that iâm seeing you , of course  ---- what are you doing out here anyway ? whereâs your sister ? â Â

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* mxtilton !
Regiment, order, schedule. Things Max prizes in his everyday life, even in the not-so-everyday end of the world. Heâs a sucker for well-laid plans and adores a good olâ calendar. The one thing he puts above it all, though, is the chance to sleep in when he can. So waking up to a voice like the bright morning sun made him startâ and then groan.
He rolled over, rubbing a hand over his face, happy to see Delilah once he realized it was her. He mumbled some kind of affirmative and relieved her of one cup, propped up on his elbow. Even the smell was divine. He chuckled at her enthusiasm and took a tiny sip, reveling in the heat of it. âYou are so right,â he agreed, voice hoarse from sleep.
Max indulged in a few more little sips, letting the warmth of days past seep into his veins. âMm, thank you. So good,â he said with a growing smile. âWhile Iâd love to see you even more energetic, I am not going to pass this up. You start to forget how nice a little caffeine is, huh?â
        she rises with the birds , the brink of dawn and the blonde is already bouncing around the balfour camp with an energy that is unnatural ; it was a habit she acquired prior to the outbreak and itâs a habit thatâs been hard to break --- dead walking the earth or not , itâs routine for delilah to be up before others & to get the day started ; call her the mother hen , but she enjoys it. she enjoys the atmosphere of her camp mates beginning their days , their jobs  --- and she doesnât mind how much she has to pitch in to ease them into fighting another day , into helping them to KEEP FIGHTING.Â
       max among them. if thereâs anyone in this place , apart from aster , that delilah is INTENT on supporting , itâs the drowsy male in front of her. ( she doesnât have siblings to worry about or a family to care for , so it seems sheâs made a new one. )  â youâre welcome. â   legs come to cross beneath her as she seats herself at the foot of his bed , fingers wrapping themselves around the cup to secure the warmth filling her palms.  â wait --- you actually want me to turn into the energizer bunny? oh you must really love to be tortured.  â  a laugh emits from the girl , before she brings the cup up to her lips.  â but uh-huh --- one day you wonât have to forget though , because it'll just become NORMALITY again. coffee &  starbucks and traffic  & bills --- donât you think?  â  she likes to think so , but then , delilah rosenberg is destined to feel so HOPEFUL for a promising future in this cruel one , that the thought of it ever not moving on from the way it was now is completely improbable in her mind.
Sophocles, Elektra (trans. Anne Carson)
@tenderbled
*Â prditfloremâ !
â donât worry, if someone had ruined it i probably wouldâve broken their armâ it was meant as a joke, aster wouldnât physically harm anyone but if someone did destroy her stuff she would give that person a piece of her mind. aster wasnât one for any violent confrontation but in the past months she had gotten into a few fights defending the things she stood for, it didnât end pretty but with each experience she learnt, even if it hurt. â see beef jerky is just nasty, i donât get how you can eat that because it looks and smells like dog treatsâ, aster wasnât a vegetarian but there were some foods that she refused to eat, she was quite the picky eater at times and she knew that it came at great disadvantage during these times. the girl nodded at delilahâs question, moving some things around so she could sit comfortably, aster was never one to say no to company and even less delilahâs, it was nice being around someone as kind as her, it made her happy. â there you go, i was going to bring some more pillows out but i didnât think anyone would come out to see the sunset, everyone is worried with the whole âthereâs people eating usâ thingâ she spoke with a small laugh, for aster the outbreak wasnât even a huge deal anymore, she was just trying to live her best life.Â
          â you can break their arm and i can give them a piece of my mind, or . . . .or just tell them off gently ---- iâll just be there for moral support & emotional backup for sure. â  the extent of her aggressive streak ; in fact , there had been few moments in her life that had resulted in VIOLENCE. her brothers were the violent type ( her sister was the vengeful type. ) and usually dealt with her ordeals for her , not that she APPROVED of the act of assaulting another in any form. confrontation , delilah had learnt , was generally something you could IGNORE , especially if the ending result would be another being harmed ---- she couldnât handle hurting another , she couldnât handle taking anotherâs life. it is not in her jurisdiction to play the OPPRESSOR just like itâs not in her jurisdiction to play GOD. â  it literally is ! in fact , even chester wonât touch it. â and she has tried , many of times , to palm it off on her canine companion with complete failure --- the dog has looked at her like she was an idiot.  tucking her legs beneath her , delilah takes her place besides her friend.  â  so true  , and the world isnât going to heal if they donât try moving on from that. â  delilah UNDERSTANDS the importance of security & survival , but thatâs just breathing -- itâs not living , itâs not moving on , itâs not seeing the beauty in a sunset and knowing thereâs a future beyond what they possess now ( and it doesnât involve an endless WAR & STRUGGLE. )   â  and besides , theyâre missing out on sunsets and berries. â she smiles , plopping another in her mouth & staring up at the arrangement of colours spread out across the skies.  â  i usually come out after the sun goes down to be honest -- i love the stars , the moon ! -- when i was younger , besides something in music , i had this crazy idea that i was going to be an astronomer & work somewhere cool like NASA. â  but why bother with the family she had? why bother when rising to the top felt like you were drowning in ICE ?  ---- pessimism is not allowed when it comes to delilah rosenberg.   â  but anyway , â change of subject ( no use getting stuck in the past -- youâll get lost there. )  she gestures to the sketchbook , hues glimmering with curiosity. â  what have you been working on?  â
- ; phrases that really hit you where it hurts
â did you really have to be that honest? â â every time i see you i just feel more alone. â â you changed me. â â was this all just a joke to you? â â i donât want to know. â â can we start over? â â you make me feel so insecure. â â i donât know if i can love you. â â every time i wake up iâm reaching for you ⌠but youâre never there. â â of course it meant something! â â stop yelling! â â i gave up on you a long time ago. â â you think i care about you? cute. â â did you just forget about me or something? â â i still need you. â â i wanna say that thereâs still hope but sometimes things just donât go your way. â â you said you would keep trying! â â no, you ARE strong. â â you promised me! â â fine. youâll never see me again, okay? â â i gave you everything i had. â â your eyes can be so cruel ⌠â â i can never do anything right can i !? â â i want my life back. â â stop crying. â â you should go. â â donât come back. â â does hurting me make you feel good or something? â â just stop it. â â i was never in love with you now leave me alone! â
ok sO itâs college day tomorrow & i wanted to get stuff done tonight but then a friend came over and now i need to get to sleep early if i want to avoid my lecturer calling me out for being late smh sheâs one scary woman iâm terrified of her. below is a little to-do to set me on track when i get home tomorrow tho, if iâm missing someone or youâd like a starter from one of my girls comment below or hmu !

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WHAT FLOWER ARE YOU ?
you are LAVENDER.
you have a soothing presence, people love your company and you always know how to make them feel better. you are thoughtful and considerate, often putting others first. you can make strangers feel at home. no matter how sad someone is feeling, you can always provide comfort and solace !
( * HS TASK 002: AESTHETICS ! â delilah r.
â  she posses an  INNOCENCE so  d e s t r u c t i v e ,  it puts  ANGELS to  shame.  â