Temporary Youth

Lighthouses are an underrated form of wizard tower. A grey-bearded old man spends all of his time tending to a light that must never go out, for if it does it will bring disaster? What else could that be?

My blog is exclusively for people that didn’t try in PE. The only people that go to heaven are the bad bitches that walked the mile.

local woman relieved and embarrassed to report that the task she had been postponing for two months ended up taking a grand total of 4 minutes to complete

There's this local family owned restaurant near me that makes the best fucking chicken tenders I've had in my life and I desperately need to know the recipe in case I move away but its a secret family recipe and I'm this 👌🏽 close to asking if they have a single adult son so I can marry in to the family just for these fucking chicken tenders. Anyway there's a possible fake marriage fanfic plot for you

remember go nuts show nuts whatever

When I was little, my mom told me that throwing your chewing gum out the car window was the good and moral thing to do because it patched up people's flat tires for them, and to this day, I think it's one of the funniest lies anyone's ever told a child for no reason.

imma be 40 years old on tumblr.com like… just filed for life insurance lads