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I can’t tell you how often this caption from the amazing @emma-says pops into my head whenever I catch myself trying to think sexually about a girl. I’ve found the instructions to fuck those inappropriate thoughts out of my silly little brain to be particularly effective! Especially if I’m all dolled up and visualizing the guy I’ve been crushing on lately ☺️ 💞

bells’ midnight kitchen cravings

like… look at my belly, babe. it’s gettin’ so round and soft in these tiny white shorts… so pretty, right? but ugh, the cravings are literally insane today. i’ve been layin’ on the bed in my vintage lingerie, just sleepily starin’ at the ceiling, feelin’ all moody and heavy… and i realized i need you to do somethin’ for me.

ur gonna run to that late-night organic market and get me those wild strawberries. the ones imported from Spain. and then ur gonna come back, sit quietly on the floor by my bed, and watch me eat them, one by one. you don’t get to taste a single bite, sweetie. you just get to watch the juice drip down my chin, completely locked out of the whole experience.

it’s kinda wild how my body works… like, this is biological supremacy in action, and you’re just here to be our cute little cheerleader. you’re so obsessed with my flat abs in the first pic, but now look at me. you wanna be one of the girls so bad, feelin’ the hormones and wearin’ the cute matching sets, but you know you’re just a useless little boy who gets hard just packin’ my bags for the hospital.

so go make yourself useful. put on that pretty pink lip gloss i bought you, grab my keys, and run my errands. you’re gonna practice bein’ a good little helper tonight.