it was a ruse

‘  do you think we’re gonna die here tonight?  ’ ‘  it’s horrifying, chilling… just over all not good.  ’ ‘  should we just get this over with?  ’ ‘  he’s a fucking criminal.  ’ ‘  sharing is caring? meh, go fuck yourself.  ’ ‘  oh god, um… oh my god, i fucking hate this.  ’ ‘  stop banging on the door, you dick.  ’ ‘  what. the fuck. is wrong with you.  ’ ‘  i gotta be honest, this doesn’t really compel me very much.  ’ ‘  that was a joke that i made and then it formed your opinion on it.  ’ ‘  flip that switch. do you think that’s the murder switch?  ’ ‘  this is embarrassing. this is embarrassing for you, i think.  ’ ‘  no one’s ghost-proof.  ’ ‘  i’m ghost-proof.  ’ ‘  you’re not ghost-proof. you’re just an idiot who refuses to see proof.  ’ ‘  i’m ghost-proof, baby!  ’ ‘  that sounded like will smith!  ’ ‘  is will smith dead? has anyone checked the news?!  ’ ‘  the problem is if there’s something that attacks us down here, i’m going to hit my head on the ceiling and my skull will smash.  ’ ‘  alright, buddy. keep your wits about ya.  ’ ‘  let’s get the fuck out of here.  ’ ‘  i kind of just looked into places that would make me wanna die and i think this checks that box.  ’ ‘  did i just blind you? good, good, good. it’ll give you the vision.  ’ ‘  take a drink!  ’ ‘  i’m gonna get you all tanked.  ’ ‘  what do you expect? what insight are you trying to gather from here?  ’ ‘  maybe the noise is a little snake. can you imagine a little snake wrapped around a little pickaxe with a little hat on?  ’ ‘  i’m not trying to do that whole dismissive thing, but… i’m dismissing it.  ’ ‘  alright. alright, man. you just gotta chill.  ’ ‘  i thought ‘glory hole’ used to mean something very innocuous, though.  ’ ‘  it’s where the men fucked the earth hoping to impregnate it with gold.  ’ ‘  a bug flew up my nose.  ’ ‘  i think i’ve swallowed about six tablespoons of bugs at this point.  ’ ‘  it’s so silent aside from the bugs in my ears.  ’ ‘  a bat flew right behind you just now.  ’ ‘  that bat was straight-up going for your ass… it was an ass bat.  ’ ‘  dude, i’m so nervous.  ’ ‘  how can you be nervous with a beautiful sunset like that?  ’ ‘  there’s some pretty shitty things that have happened to people around here.  ’ ‘  can you even look at least a little bit worried?  ’ ‘  yeah, i’m fucking nervous, man. i feel like i’m gonna vomit.  ’ ‘  we’re all assholes here.  ’ ‘  i don’t know why i phrased it ‘lucky for us.’ i think i was feeling brave when i wrote this.  ’ ‘  yeah, this isn’t lucky for you at all.  ’ ‘  i’m gonna try and avoid saying ‘demon’ as much as i can.  ’ ‘  i’m not gonna let you goad me into this, i know what you’re trying to do.  ’ ‘  shut up. we’re moving on.  ’ ‘  you know what? i’m not trying to scare you, but… i got a bad feeling about this one.  ’ ‘  why are you unbuttoning your pants? we’re in public right now.  ’ ‘  oh… you’ve out-dumbed yourself.  ’ ‘  you know, i thought this was gonna be funny, but now i’m actually happy that i have it.  ’ ‘  i’m a whole other coin. just like a chill ass wheat-back penny.  ’ ‘  i’m doing it for the betterment of the science.  ’ ‘  any demons here? you got any demons out tonight? any horn-y boys or whatever they are.  ’ ‘  you may not like this… i’m gonna try to agitate it.  ’ ‘  you do what you gotta do and i’ll do what i gotta do.  ’ ‘  i’m just gonna be as crude as possible here.  ’ ‘  no, no, no. just right out of the gate. why build up?  ’ ‘  if you don’t believe then there’s nothing for you to be afraid of, right?  ’ ‘  you can be is big of a prick as you want, but i’m staying over here.  ’ ‘  if you want me off this bridge, you’re gonna have to kill me.  ’ ‘  nope! don’t loop me into your shit!  ’ ‘  stop looping me. i hate when you do this to me in demon places.  ’ ‘  i’m not part of his little charade.  ’ ‘  children will come here and tell tales about me.  ’ ‘  shut the fuck up – i’m gonna murder you.  ’ ‘  oh what a load of horse shit.  ’ ‘  oh, skip the theatrics and just go into it.  ’ ‘  if you want me off this bridge, you’re gonna have to throw me off.  ’ ‘  you gotta admit, that is an effective technique.  ’ ‘  no, it’s not an effective technique. it’s a way to get killed.  ’ ‘  that’s not how you get them, shut up.  ’ ‘  when’s the last time you ever walked into the dark woods?  ’ ‘  this is so much scarier than hunting fucking sasquatch.  ’ ‘  people usually feel overcome with emotion in here, like a violent emotion.  ’ ‘  give me a heads up if you start to feel murderous. i would appreciate that.  ’ ‘  by the way, these woods are also scary because of the people that might be in there.  ’ ‘  i mean, people are greater threats than demons or ghouls.  ’ ‘  i can’t fight, you can’t fight.  ’ ‘  you’re like one of those carwash floaty things that are out front just wiggling around.  ’ ‘  anyone doing up to no good out here?  ’ ‘  one of these times we’re gonna die.  ’ ‘  oh shit! there’s something over there. i don’t know what it is, but the bushes are moving.   ’ ‘  i just heard a scream.  ’ ‘  well, if we just make it seem like we’re in on it, like… we’re here for the cult stuff.  ’ ‘  we’re here for the cult stuff. we saw the ad on craigslist.  ’ ‘  it feels weird to even joke. i’m so fucking scared right now.  ’ ‘  oh sure they’d be hiding in the bushes. they’re cultists.  ’ ‘  i keep collecting spiderwebs on my face and now i’m just sort of immune to them. i’m just letting them accumulate.  ’ ‘  well, you are just a giant stick walking around.  ’ ‘  oh, this looks fun… an odd collection of branches. looks like a witch lair or something.  ’ ‘  hello? you can’t be doing occult stuff like this. it’s a weeknight.  ’ ‘  dude, wait. you’re fucking crazy.  ’ ‘  you need to chill. you need to chill out.  ’ ‘  hey man, it’s just a plant.  ’ ‘  we kicked goatman off the bridge, it’s ours now.  ’ ‘  goatman, are you out here in the woo– well, he’s out here in the woods ‘cause he’s not tending to his bridge.  ’ ‘  clearly. that’s why finders keepers and all that.  ’ ‘  hey, if there’s cultists out there… i gotta let you know, my pal has a water gun.  ’ ‘  i don’t like this, i don’t like this one bit.  ’ ‘  we are hearing noise from all sides at this point. it’s very blair witch.  ’ ‘  yeah, let’s leave.  ’ ‘  the name ‘steve’ doesn’t really strike fear into the heart.  ’ ‘  i’ll go along with this. fun gimmick.  ’ ‘  well demons, it’s been fun.  ’ ‘  as we snuff these candles so too do we snuff you from this mortal world, you fucking wimp.  ’ ‘  this bridge is officially mine. they’ll tell legends of me here.  ’ ‘  oh god, i feel like i’ve gone to the dark side.  ’ ‘  just gloat a little bit. this is a win for you.  ’

Like this post for a one liner!

Like this post for a one liner!

x

“The night is the hardest time to be alive and 4 am knows all my secrets.” - Poppy Z. brite

Like this post for a one liner!

don´t drink and smoke kids.

“Sometimes I wished I could marry you. You’re the only one I can stand even when I can’t stand myself.”