TechManual

BAM!

I’m out of ideas! XD

LOOOK ATT THIIIIS!!!!

LOOOOK ATTT THIIIISS!!!!

80

*O*

OH MY GOOD!!!!!

ThAT’S IT!!!!

Daddy’s got you 💗

You don’t need to cry anymore Daddy’s right here. 🤗

Shhh baby, just close your eyes and go to sleep. 😴

Princess? 👑

Baby, how many/much are/is there? Can you count it for me?🔢

Just breathe baby 🌬️

Yes what baby? (Answer: yes daddy)

Where’s your stuffie? 🐻🐰🐶🐸

Get your binky baby.

One of the most thrilling things in life is the beginning of a new relationship.  Everything feels fresh and exciting and your brain is overloading on oxytocin and dopamine.  When you’re a Daddy entering into a relationship with a little, the sheer level of adorableness and enthusiasm coming from your little can be intoxicating.  The important thing to remember at this stage is that you have to be patient and take things slowly.

Everyone handles the early stages differently, and my advice early on would be to just try to follow their lead.  Don’t step into a brand new relationship with a laundry list of demands and orders and expect everything to go perfectly.  For one thing, you haven’t really earned the right to demand anything just yet.  For another, you don’t want to overwhelm your little with an excessive burden right off the bat.  Lastly, you don’t yet know enough about them for your rules to be about anything other than yourself, and that’s just selfish.  Take the time to get to know your little!

The way I’ve seen it explained, and the way I believe is correct is that their needs > your needs, your wants > their wants, but your wants < their needs.  When you’re just meeting someone, you don’t know enough about them to know what they need.  Even if you were to ask them, there’s a very good chance they don’t even know what they need or they might not feel comfortable telling you everything.  These things take time to figure out.

If, early on, your little expresses a desire for some rules to follow, it is okay to assign a few basic rules, punishments, and rewards.  Not only is this great practice for later, when the rules and protocols become more strict and complex, it gives you a chance to see how good they are at following simple instructions, how they handle the times when they fail to follow them, and how they handle being punished.  It’s a very good way to build trust in the relationship while also furthering your understanding of how she works.

Speaking of rules, punishments, and rewards, there are a few things to keep in mind.  First, never try to implement any rule or punishment that is going to impose an extreme burden on your little or that is going to jeopardize their health and safety.  You may withhold their favorite food or dessert as a punishment, for example, but you may not deprive them of food.  Nobody should ever be exposed to any real harm or injury from a punishment or a rule.

Secondly, make sure that you make allowances for real life when you’re setting up your rules.  If your little is in a business meeting, cooking dinner, or putting her children to bed, and she’s late on a time-sensitive rule, you need to make allowances for that.  Her life is not the problem, the problem lies with your failure to take her life into consideration when making the rules.  Know the difference between willful disobedience and just having things that take precedence.  

Third, all rules, punishments, and rewards must be discussed and agreed upon beforehand.  If you sense that your little is hesitant or reluctant to accept any of them, do not press her.  Instead, stop everything and talk about the reason for the hesitation without putting any pressure on her.  She may have a problem with something, or she may just be unfamiliar with something.  There are no wrong or bad reasons for her to object.  Her objections are valid, and while you can discuss them, you are not allowed to dismiss them.

If, early on, your little objects to some or all of your rules, this is her right.  Do not make her feel like a bad little for doing so!  It could mean you just haven’t earned that kind of trust yet, or it could mean that what you are proposing is not appropriate for where you are in the relationship.  Give it time and work hard to prove your trustworthiness - just don’t push her or continually pester her about them.  These things will take time for many littles.  Expect that!

Remember that being a Daddy is a position of servitude.  We may make rules and hand out punishments and rewards, but we are serving at the wishes of our little in order to fulfill their needs and help them grow and succeed.  Do not ever begin to think that you are above your little or that she has any less value or worth as a human being than you do.  Respect her, care for her, and adore her, even as you scold or punish her.  Punishments and admonishments are to be done out of love, not anger or wrath.

Lastly, never underestimate the value and importance of rituals and routines to your little.  These provide a sense of consistency and stability to their lives and go a long way towards establishing and building trust.  Bedtime is an especially important time for littles, as the tone of your routine can set the stage for a good night’s sleep if done correctly.  Let her go to sleep feeling loved, happy, and content every night by following a consistent, soothing routine.

Bathing can be a good start, but some littles may be shy at first.  Hair brushing can be soothing if you aren’t too rough.  Applying lotion, helping them into their pajamas or a onesie, and making sure they aren’t thirsty or don’t need to use the bathroom are all good ways to care for your little. 

Reading or telling them a story and singing them lullabies are fantastic ways to send them off to Dreamland.  In addition to being very comforting, it gives you a chance to learn more about their favorite things.  If you learn they have a favorite story or favorite character, you can incorporate them in to your little space activities later.  Remember to always end it with a goodnight kiss and plenty of cuddles for maximum effect.

1. He calls me cute nicknames like sweetie, cutie, angel, princess, and little girl

2. He talks to me like I’m a kiddo

3. He asks me to try to repeat what he says or to try and spell something

4. He carries me around

5. He makes little meals for me

6. He feeds me either with a spoon or bottle feeds me

7. He fills and holds my sippy cup for me when I need help

8. He helps me get dressed and undressed

9. He ties my shoes for me

10. He helps wash my hair and body in the shower

11. He brushes my little teeth

12. He brushes and blowdrys my hair

13. He helps me pick out my clothes

14. He reads me bedtime stories

15. He lets me pick out little shows and movies to watch (he likes the Disney movies but he’s not a big fan of the little shows like MLP and carebears)

16. He covers me in lotion and/or baby powder (I’m in love with baby powder)

17. He tells me what to do and uses his daddy voice

18. He has me sit on his lap and he bounces me up and down

19. He gets my paci and teether for me and if I don’t have one then he lets me suck (and sometime chew hehe) on his thumb

20. He drives so I can keep being tiny

21. He diapers me

22. He tells me how cute and small I am

23. He won’t let me do any big kid things like watching grown up movies, listening to songs with bad words in them, cutting up food, or using the oven/stove (I have a bad track record of burning myself)

24. If I try to act grown up he reminds me that I’m a little girl and I can’t do that stuff

25. He covers me with kisses and snuggles the heck out of me- this one is my favoritest

I have the bestest daddy in the world. If you guys have the bestest daddies/mommies/caregivers in the world and they do cute stuff to help you feel smol then feel free to add on.

We always talk about “signs of a terrible Dom” so let’s talk about some signs of an actually good Dom

They ask you about your day: They show compassion and actually want to listen about how your day went

They ALWAYS want to keep fields of communication open: Whether you’re in the middle of a kinky-as-fuck scene or you two are in a heated argument, the means of communication is ALWAYS open. Once you give your safe word, IT IS DONE

Aftercare is a top priority. No matter what this is for you in particular, they put a lot of emphasis on aftercare (cuddling, movie watching, bath time, etc.)

They aren’t afraid to scold you when you actually mess up. Sometimes we fuck up, both with our dynamics or we screwed up something at work or school. Doms will scold you, put also help cheer you up and might even offer ways to make it positive

Sex might be apart of the dynamic, but it’s not the focus. I get the fact some people get involved with other BDSM partners for the sole reason of sex, but outside of those VERY SPECIFIC DYNAMICS, sex is NOT the sole focus. It might be a fun “add on”, but it’s NOT the primary objective (penetrative sex or other forms of sex acts).

They are concerned for your safety, but don’t overdo it. They want you safe, but don’t take it to the paranoid level where they need to track every little thing you do.

They respect your privacy. EVERYONE has secrets (”skeletons in your closest”), even among romantic partners who have been partners for a long time, people have stuff they just don’t feel comfortable confessing every little thing in their life. A respectful Dom understands this and doesn’t need to go spying on you or attempt to invade your privacy (track internet history, track phone usage, track where you’ve been, etc.)

They trust you. A Dom who doesn’t trust you will purposely try to fuck up the relationship/dynamic, they will show severe jealousy, and other negative aspects. A Dom that trusts you will respect YOU as a person as well as you to keep your word on different things.

When disagreements happen, they use constructive language. There is not a healthy relationship on this earth that is 100% argument/disagreement free. However, whenever these do happen, it is NOT a “me against you” style argument (”I WON THE ARGUMENT”, none of that). It is done in a way with minimal accusatory/hurtful statements

One of the things that fascinates me about this community is how people can be drawn to the same act for so many different reasons. Fetishes, sex positions, rules and protocol… It’s so easy sometimes to match up a list of fetishes and think you’re on the same page as someone. But that only gets you halfway. Maybe. And it’s because the reasons are what matters, not the act itself.

I dated a man once who confessed his interest in tail plugs. It wasn’t something I’d ever considered before, but I was open to it. Especially in the context of this relationship, I assumed it was a humiliation thing. He liked to make me beg for things I didn’t want, then show me how wet it made me. I assumed the tail plug stemmed from the same desires. It made sense to me. He wanted a tail holding my ass open while I crawled for him. He wanted me low.

But I was wrong. That wasn’t his vision at all. For him, there was a softness to it. He wanted me to curl up against him while he caressed me—down my back and over my tail and my thighs. The tail unlocked a different kind of connection for us. It was not the mind fuck game we usually played. It was free of all that. Innocent and light. Vulnerable and tender. It gave him the freedom to touch me absentmindedly without words or expectations. It was so much deeper that I ever expected.

It’s rarely the act itself; it’s what we feel and where it takes us. It’s how we access new parts of ourselves and each other. It’s how we learn who we are at the core of our being. It’s how we grow and discover together. At the core of every act that drives us, there is meaning. The meaning is what connects us and allows us to feel truly seen—but only if it’s shared.

Later in life I learned that what I was taught, wasn’t the only way to be. I’ve made wonder life long friends who have helped me develop out of many of those habits. But there is still a barrier in my mind, like a line I never cross that was ingrained into me by all the machismo of my relatives.

DDlg(b) and pet play are an outlet for me. It’s a chance to let myself be as affectionate as I want, as loving as I want, a sieve to release my softer emotions in a way that they will be met with acceptance, and validation to the point of someone even desiring it from me.

⭐ kisses on the cheek, forehead, top of the head, shoulder, anywhere!

⭐ being held and reassured

⭐ having toys or other little stuff brought to us by surprise

⭐ hearing our CG say something very caregiver-like out of nowhere

⭐ being called pet names and terms of affection

⭐ playing! cuddling! any physical attention and interaction is so nice!

⭐ having food made for us (I’ll admit it, I become the most bashful thing when food is made for me… ❤)

⭐ being surprised with any gesture of affection or sudden coddling

⭐ holding our hands when we cross the street

⭐ ordering food or talking for us in general if we’re shy or scared

⭐ singing with us

Nerdy Fact #1434: Wonder Woman was originally based on two women: the wife of creator William Marston and one of his former students that both he and his wife had sexual encounters with. 

Elizabeth Holloway Marston and Olive Byrne were among a number of women who contributed to the original Wonder Woman, and they’re fascinating people in their own right.

Elizabeth Holloway Marston was a brilliant woman. She earned three university degrees in psychology and law at a time when few women received any tertiary education. She was a successful career woman who assisted her husband with his work and was frequently the breadwinner of the family.

The main reason she was able to continue working after having children? Olive Byrne, who was not simply a casual “sexual encounter”, but the Marstons’ lover and life partner. To enable Elizabeth to work, Olive stayed at home and raised both her and Elizabeth’s children. She also wrote for Family Circle and contributed to Marston’s research.

Elizabeth is credited with pushing her husband to create a female superhero, and after his death she worked hard to preserve his vision for the character, urging DC to employ her as the comic’s editor (she was ignored).

Wonder Woman’s bracelet’s are Olive’s bracelets: Olive was known for wearing a pair of wide silver bracelets, and Marston had these in mind when he envisioned Diana’s bullet-deflecting accessories.

“Mom wants to see you.”

“Psychology mom or bracelet mom?”

Mistersbeard.tumblr.com presents: THE MAD DADDY

At the heart of every man there are a few core elements that make up who he is. One of the largest elements is pride.

A man’s pride can drive him to do many things, and it all depends on the way in which he handles and negotiates the feelings that come along with his pride. Now don’t get me confused… There is a good pride but there is also a very bad pride. And that very bad pride can often lead to a disgusting and dark disease known as anger.

Anger is a daddy’s worst enemy

and it is something that can make or break not only the man, but it can also make or break a little.

There are many characteristics and traits that make up a great little… And there are also some very well expected ones. At the same time, a daddy is made up of some expected traits, and when your little is seeking one out she expects that she will find certain elements and things within them that will make them a suitable daddy for her. 

Anger, maliciousness, selfishness in a bad way, and other dark and disgusting character traits are not the things that she looks for…

and so often, the angry or mad daddy will hide these things until he has her locked in. 

However,

the mad daddy is also easily recognizable

, as there are a few things about him that are unmistakable with even the slightest of detailed observation. 

The mad daddy has very little patience, he has very little restraint with the way that he makes you feel when he’s making you feel down… His words his actions and his ability to combine the two to make you feel like the lowest form of anything are a pretty good sign that he is a mad daddy. <br>  Have you ever heard the phrase “making a mountain out of a mole hill”… The mad daddy is very good at this… 

 examples: if you are not performing the way that he expects you to, doing as he says, giving him what he wants… he will blow the situation out of proportion. 

mad daddy gets angry for no reason He gets angry over the littlest of things because in his heart he is a severe control freak and narcissist. NOTE: Now, there is good narcissism and there is bad narcissism.

The phrase “it’s not bragging if it’s true” works well to separate and differentiate the two.

Good narcissism is confidence combined with patience. Bad narcissism is what we call swagger combined with immaturity. And at his core the mad daddy is highly immature and has no business being in control of anyone. 

The mad daddy will make you feel down by putting himself down…

It is a narcissistic disorder in which the person wants to turn himself into the victim, while at the same time making you feel like it’s your fault. This is a classic pattern amongst the mad daddy… And he will use it often in order to keep you in submission to him. 

  The mad daddy has a hard time showing compassion and expressing forgiveness when you make a mistake. 

He goes from 0 to 100 in an instant when he doesn’t get his way… Much in the way that an immature child will throw a fit if they do not get that toy they want at the store or their cereal is too warm or something just isn’t fitting in the way that they want it to be. Then he will spend an extended amount of time berating you and putting you down and making you feel like garbage while jamming his finger into your already open wound… while at the same time turning it around on himself to make himself look like the failure so that you will express your compassion towards him and forgive him at the same time that he is crushing you into the ground.

The mad daddy always gets his way while taking away yours.

 If he wants to play video games or go out with his friends instead of cuddles or Skype.. Its happening. Raise a fuss about it and he pulls the victim card out of his deck about how he works so hard..he does this..he does that, and he never gets to do what he wants. When turned around… He uses that same card to make you feel guilty about what you want to do, because all he wanted was to spend time with you ….and you never take his feelings into consideration when making plans… And then he becomes not good enough for you… And you don’t love him… And he’s so alone.. Nobody understands.. Blah blah blah…

The mad daddy has serious codependency issues. 

When upset, he will go on and on about how all his life he’s always been given the short end of the stick, how he doesn’t understand why people keep leaving him, how he can’t ever keep friends…. And of course, none of that is his failure… Its theirs.

The mad daddy is an abuser. 

Abuse doesnt just come in the form of physical. He uses his hands, fists and cold callous words to hurt you… And When he’s finished he apologizes, following it up with a jab about how it was your fault.

“I’m sorry I did xxx… But sometimes I get so frustrated when you xxx…” as well as the classic “because of you, I did this..” and  “I didn’t mean to do that…I love You.. But you…” and so on.

We are the least inhibited and most honest with our actions and words when we are angry.

So you often find yourself unable to speak. unable to act. Unable to be yourself… And you end up conforming yourself to the person he wants to crush you into.

This isn’t submission…. Its slavery.

The mad daddy will eventually grind you down until you feel like you can’t leave….

Until you become a slave to his behavior and end up being the caregiver instead.

And soon you find any act of aggression makes you instantly fearful… Instantly unable to function… Instantly shut down… Scared… You might even feel like if you leave… He will either kill you or himself.

But the mad daddy is also something else… 

He’s an immature coward. A child in an adult body looking for the mother that never loved him enough… And he’s searching for a victim to take it out on.

- A coward beats a woman in anger. - A coward makes empty threats. - A coward manipulates and destroys another human being while being consumed by his inferiority complex.

Love doesn’t break your nose. Love doesn’t break your bones. Love doesn’t leave you with a black eye.

Mad daddy’s are a factory that produce broken littles. 

You feel like you can’t escape. But you can. All it takes is that first step.

Your submission is a gift. Not his right, not his privilege, 

End your suffering. End your pain. End your slavery.

You feel like you can’t escape…. But you can. Someone out there is waiting for you to reach out. You have the internet and resources in the palm of your hand.

The mad daddy is a stubborn rotten tree infesting the beautiful garden you know exists in your heart. ….Chop it down. Today. Right now. Save yourself.

For further education:

DD/lg Basics: The Princess Journal

DD/lg Basics: AFTERCARE

How to find the perfect Daddy

DD/lg Basics: THE MAD DADDY

littles 101: Spotting a BAD DADDY Daddy Drop: caring for your caregiver

Feel free to reblog for others.

Mistersbeard.tumblr.com

Picking up habits