teb took a tumbl

Me, in Ancient Greece, tying my sandals and pretending I don’t know that swan checking me out is Zeus:

me, an ancient greek, knowing that some thot is about to send hera on another murderous rampage

Me knowing the baby zeus just put in her is gonna have a hellish life because she got thotty with Hera’s man

It has come to my attention in the notes that Zeus’ monster thundercock would probably still get me pregnant anyway, and you know what? You’re absolutely right! Me, going to Mount Olympus to pick up my alimony checks from Hera, cause Zeus is out being a thot with someone else after I moved on to some cute, horny Satyr:

Hera smiting you as soon as you appear there:

Me, walking right back into Olympus after I convince Zeus to give me some thotty job like cup bearer or whatever so Hera can’t touch me:

When you go to thirst follow someone only to realise you’re already following them..

It’s officially September… you know what that means

Me: I’m having such a hard time, can y’all please go easy on me?

Do you ever think about how Jeff Bezos could feed literally more than a million food insecure people while losing an hour’s wage but you have to tell yourself no when you want to buy a coffee but can’t because that’s all your rent money?