Fan art galore and more!

“ Okay doll, enjoy your time alone! I’m going to go to a fashion show out of town, maybe I’ll come back with a few new dresses. For me of course. “ Kettle Lad flipped his hair as he was putting on some high heels. Tea Girl was so drained from the week that she just nodded and went back to reading her comic book. Kettle Lad took no offense in this lack of acknowledgement, as he knew how his partner was. Kettle Lad thought of her as a computer of sorts, able to provide countless hours of fun and had a multitude of skills, but would overheat from constant use, and needed breaks from everything from time to time. It took him a while to understand and accept this, but after almost a decade of knowing her, had accepted this as part of her personality and just another thing to cherish. Though they depended on each other, especially in the line of duty, though were perfectly sufficient without each other, for a little while at least. These days of separation were healthy for the both of them.

Kettle Lad had put on his shoes and pranced out the door, flamboyantly yodeling:

“ I’ll be back in a few days darling, toodles~ “ and with a twirl and a skip, he was off on a trip away from their shared apartment.

Tea Girl sighed and turned the page of her comic book. It was of her favorite series, Elemental 7. In the story, the main character was a girl named Illumaria, whose hair was scarlet as blood and skin as fair as the snow that melts beneath her feet in the winter.She was about as womanly and shy as a turtle is fast. She defied all stereotypes of women in her tribe of fire, and for that was an outcast when she refused to change. She did not care what more or less anyone thought of her and was a free spirit A rowdy and rambunctious pyromaniac who loved to drink and holler, she would go as far to streak across the forest in her birthday suit, drunk as a skunk rapping chants of an african priestess. Why one may ask? In her own words “ because I can” It was her catch phrase and her motto of living. What made her  an even more interesting character was her significant other, who was the exact opposite of her in almost every way.

His name was Nitsua, a blue haired boy who was more or less straight as a rainbow and a hydro mage, one who controlled water. He liked to pretend he was a mermaid and wear sea shell bras while he used his water controlling powers to splash against his pale bare skin. However, he had a different side to him as well. One could say, a goth side. As if diagnosed with multiple personality disorder, he loved to dye his azure hair black and silver, to symbolize the relationship between light and darkness. He would go from someone even more flamboyant than Kettle Lad to Mr dark and mysterious, at least in appearance, for he was still the same fabulous and eccentric boy on the inside, all the time, and it really bothered him. Like Illumaria, he was also outcasted from his tribe for being himself. He however, did not take this well at all unlike Illumaria.

They met in the forest one night and were together ever since. Despite not liking him at all at first, Illumaria grew fond of Nitsua over the years and began to like him, and eventually, love him. Their relationship was very weird however, for if Illumaria ever touched Nitsua for more than 5 secondsl Nitsua would evaporate in her arms. This was fine for Illumaria for she wasn’t the lovey dovey kind, but for Nitsua however, was a fatal flaw as sometimes he really needed a hug. Even holding hands for a second caused great pain for the hydromancer. And though their elements and personalities greatly crashed, they were the true meaning of “ opposites attract “

After about a decade or so, in the comic and in real time, for Tea Girl had been following this series since before the time she met Kettle Lad, she had been hooked on the story. The non sexualized romance, the tale of 2 outcasts going against all odds to survive on their own and eventually build a super village of fellow strays, she it was her all time favorite saga, and in ways, felt like she could relate to it a lot. She desired so badly to be as confident and outgoing as Illumaria, but despite all of her efforts she never even came close. She hated herself for a while because of it, but after a while grew to accept and lived on. Though she doesn’t really like herself that much, she was loved by another and tried her best to smile, no matter how hard things got. And despite a few downfalls here and there, with a little help she always got back on her feet and kept on trucking on.

She continued to read Elemental 7 till the dead of night, passing out underneath her blanket with a book covering her face, her body half way dangling off the couch as she began to dream about her and Kettle Lad as Illumaria and Nitsua respectively….

Meanwhile a few towns over, Kettle Lad, who was in his Sunday Best ( despite it being Saturday night ) was enjoying his night on the town. Tight jean shorts and a leather shirt exposing his midriff was his attire for having fun. Nails done like a rainbow and blue lipstick caressing his mouth, with his hair done like some sort of video gamer. Walking in his high heels, joined the crowd to watch the fashion show, eyes glued to models as they walked and turned, twirling and displaying their outfits. About an hour passed before Kettle Lad felt a chill in the air. Not of danger, but from how cold it was outside. It was a warm 90 degrees when he arrived, which also supported the reason for dressing so skimpy, so it was very queer, more so than he was, that it would grow so cold. Everyone in the auditorium started to shiver. Kettle Lad knew something was up, he shifted his way through the crowd and out the door to investigate.

Bumping against many people on the way, his anxiety began to rise. He was usually the more calm between him and Tea Girl, but  in fact he was just as much as a “ loser “ as she was. But he knew just because they had issues didn’t make them losers, everyone had their flaws, and him and Tea Girl was no exception. It didn’t help that in case something was up, he couldn’t use his  power of technology spawning.  After about 10 minutes of fighting the crowd he arrived outside, it was snowing hard outside, difficult was an understatement when it came to walking in the snow in such flimsy footwear.” I have to look gorgeous, even if it hinders me “ he said.. The icy sky powder scantily clad feet as he walked outside, the streets were strangely quiet and empty, cloaked in snow. He looked up at the moon and rubbed his arms, trying to keep himself warm. At that moment he saw the cause of the freak snow storm, it was hard to make out, but after further examination it appeared to be a flying weather machine. The shadow of a figure stood on top of the flying manipulator. The machine started to descend towards Kettle Lad, the weather around him growing colder and colder until he was shaking up a storm. The machine landed and the figure stepped off. It was a man dressed in head to toe in a snow suit, the only part exposed was his face, which was partially gilded by a grizzly beard. He stepped off the machine and pushed the helpless Nitsua into the snow, too cold to fight back.

“ I am Ice Drake! My intentions are simple, to freeze this little fashion show in place and steal the millions of dollars worth of clothing right off the racks, and their bodies! I don’t care of every person here has to be stripped bare, if they have a nice outfit, it’s mine! I have no complex back story or motive besides COLD hard cash! I think I’ll start with you, pretty boy. “

Ice Drake laughed and hovered his hand towards Kettle Lad’s top, gripping it at the neck as he began to pull. Kettle Lad, who was unconscious from the lack of warmth he possessed was a goner. Or so it would seem. For when the leather began to tear off his chest, it ignited a deep rage within the beauty obsessed man, as well as a lacy purple bra. Eyes snapping open despite being seemingly froze shut, his limbs began to bend, as if on their own to combat Ice Drake. His heel pushing so far into Ice Drake’s throat that the shock asphyxiated him, knocking him out as cold as the environment he had created. The weather machine still continued to blow, however, and was Kettle Lad’s next objective. Fueled by sheer willpower, he pushed his limits to use his technological knowledge to shut down the machine. It was a race against time as his organs began to slowly shut down. His vision blurry and his head light, he crossed the final few wires before passing out completely, the last thing he saw was snow melting around him, the last thing he heard was the cheer of a large crowd.

Saturday night bled into Sunday morning, and Sunday morning faded into the afternoon and finally where the day of rest would meet Monday before Kettle Lad woke up. Nose runny and throat raw, a terrible headache caused him to close his eyes the second he opened them in excruciating pain. He faded back into sleep until the sun awoke him hours later. Still feeling like on the brink of death, he awoke in the bottom bunk of the bunk bed he shared with Tea Girl. Forcing himself to crawl out of bed, he noticed he was dressed in his warm pink bathrobe. Bewilderment dressed his face before realization struck, causing him to blush. Trying to ignore what may have happened while he was knocked out cold, literally and figuratively, he saw a letter on his desk between his 2 favorite Giant Robot figurines. He stumbled over towards the desk and examined the letter. “ For Kettle Lad “ was on the front of the letter, followed by the drawing of an angry face. Puzzled, he opened the letter and began to read a wall of frustratedly written words.

“ You baka! You almost got yourself killed! I was asleep, happily dreaming of adventure when I got a knock on the door. Several well dressed people carried your barely dressed self in their arms and explained to me what happened. I know it all, and I want to tell you that when you aren’t wearing your gown you should NOT be fighting crime! There were plenty of other heroes in the area, including supreme celery, but no you had to be mister big shot and try to do everything by yourself. Want to know the worst part? I didn’t get to be lazy at all on Sunday because I had to take care of your reckless butt! You owe me big time Nitsua because if it wasn’t for me taking care of you, you would be 6 feet under by now.”

The letter continued, but more sloppily written, a circular  stain or 2 of  were engraved on the paper.

“ The reward money had to go toward cold medicine and chicken noodle soup for you. We are back on duty today, but I can handle stuff by myself, just don’t even expect me to wave due to how tired I’ll be, and by how mad I am at you. I hope you’re happy with yourself, dork. “

Tears started to well up in Kettle Lad’s eyes at the stress he caused his partner, it was obvious how mad she was at him, at least, it was until he re-read the entire letter.

“ Nitsua? Wait… Heh… and she calls me the dork “ he said to himself and smiled, realizing that Tea Girl was heavily influenced by her comic book idol, Illumaria. Still, he felt bad about all the stressed he caused her on her unwinding time. He motioned the letter towards the inside of his desk, turning it around as he folded it, he noticed something written, very very small on the back, as if meant to be missed and only written to get get it off her chest. He squinted his sore eyes and read out loud:

“Get well soon”

He smiled as he noticed at the far far bottom corner, there was a microscopic, barely noticeable symbol hastily drawn.

A rare showing of Tea Girl’s inner feelings, a heart.

Kettle Lad blushed and giggled as he walked towards the kitchen to heat up some soup, still coughing out his lungs.

Far away in town, Tea Girl was taking a break patrolling the city, sitting down at a MoonDeer Tea Shop reading the paper. With tired, heavy eyes, she began to flip through the paper, struggling to stay awake. At the brink of collapsing due to sleep deprivation; an article caught her attention. A slight grin painted her face as she took a sip of tea, then read to herself quietly.

Several blocks down the road, our crime fighting heroine and her flamboyant side kick were taking a stroll through the town. Tea Girl enjoying the lovely weather out while Kettle Lad, you guessed it, was admiring the window displays on every shop they passed by.

" What a lovely day! A perfect opportunity for a walk, don't you think, Kettle Lad? " Tea Girl said, her eyes engulfed with soft fluffy clouds.

" What a lovely corset! I would give up chocolate for a month to fill it. Don't you think I would look great in it, Tea Girl? " Kettle Lad's pupils were simply heart symbols.

" No comment. " Tea Girl said, her usual rosey red cheeks just a tiny tad bit brighter at Kettle Lad's question.

" Hey Tea Girl, the clouds are nice and all but look over there" he said, pointing at an empty shop, he was far behind Tea Girl due to the fascination over the windows. Tea Girl pulled her eyes away from the beautiful sky and walked backwards for a bit, until she met up with Kettle Lad. He was pointing at a counter of a collectible figurine shop. The door was wide open and not a single soul to be seen. The crime rate in Dortopolis has been on the rise lately, and with so many valuable figures this concerned the duo. Walking together, they entered the shop and looked around.

Dozens upon dozens of figures lined the walls of the shop. From giant robots to bikini clad pop stars, the shop was truly an enthusiast's paradise.

" This is a really nice place! " Expressed Tea Girl, as she walked around the shop with her sidekick. " I'm really fond of the skeleton dolls "

" You're telling me girlfriend " Kettle Lad, who was equally amazed replied fabulously, his eyes more attached to the fabric on the figures as opposed to the wearers.

" My only complaint is the constant creaking the floor makes " She said, stopping to admire an action figure of one of her favorite characters, known as Chalk.

" I know right? They need renovations badly " the fancy man said, twirling side to side, his gown-like attire flowing in the store as he stood in place.

The creaking continued.

" It's a shame too, because the floor looks really well made." Our favorite heroine said, standing still as she examined a whale loving prince plushie.

" Indeed, the floor must be about to collapse, seeing how it isn't wood at all " the wise and all knowing Kettle Lad said, wondering how this sea shell bra on a red hair figure would look on him, too intrigued to take a step. " This phenomenon is more queer than me. The creaking itself sounds very weird as well… Very organic and sad and stuff"

" Isn't it?" Tea Girl, who was now sitting down on a stool with her feet dangling in the air said as she examined a blue haired boy and red hair girl couples figure set.

A woman cloaked in black, whose only features to be seen as her nose and mouth peaked out from behind the shop door and explained.

" Hey you 2, for plot progression sake, please look behind the counter, thanks and see you soon! Kyuhuhuhu " She dashed off in her high heels laughing up a storm, sacrificing her stamina and progression away from the scene of the crime to help our evil fighting masterminds out.

" Oh thank you! " the duncenamic duo said, putting the figures in their hands back in their rightful places as they walked towards the counter. " What a nice lady " they both, yet again said, locking pinkies as was custom when they said something at the same time.

To their shock, and everyone who reads this relief, they discovered that the creaking wasn't caused by the floor, but by a crying child curled up in the fetal position.

Tea Girl bent down and rubbed the boy's shoulder, his whimpering simmered down as she asked:

" Hey little guy, what's the matter? "

" My mom and dad are sick as someone took the key to their recovery " he cried

" We'll get the medicine back for you, can you describe what the person who took it looked like? " she said.

" It wasn't medicine, it was a very rare figurine. A Kawaii Titan golden statue. It's worth is beyond thought and there are only 3 in existence but I'd sell my soul to get it back. Not for it's worth, but because a man trusted me to keep it safe while he had errands to run and he would pay me enough to get the medicine for my momma and daddy. But he's going to get so mad when he learns that it's stolen and my parents are gonna… " the boy started crying hard again, Tea Girl trying to comfort him the best to her abilities while Kettle Lad examined his nails. Kettle Lad explained:

" Don't worry little one, we'll get it back for you, we are professional heroes. Now can you tell us what she looked like? Also, don't sell your soul for anything, you'll attract cat loving demons. " He joked in a calm, as less fabulous and easy to understand tone as possible.

" I'll try. She was wearing a black cloak and the only thing showing was her mouth and nose, she had a weird laugh too. It went Kyuhuhuhuhu." He tried his hardest to do the odd laugh.

At that moment, the duo looked at each other, then at the open door, then at the kid and both screamed, while locking pinkies:

" Are you kidding me right now? "

Tea Girl nodded at Kettle Lad to stay tight and keep the young boy company, she jumped over the desk, almost breaking her neck but landing the move successfully and ran out the door in search of the woman in black. Kettle Lad noticed something odd however. It was the feather that the woman in black left behind, he walked up to pick the feather up and examined it like freshly manicured nails. He clapped and from beneath his gown a machine dropped onto the floor. He put the feather into the machine and carried it over to the crying boy to keep him company while his technology did its work.

Tea Girl rushed down Planeroad and onto Summer Drive in hot pursuit of the culprit. Never in her life had she sprinted this fast in a tea stained dress, or any dress in general. As a matter of fact, she had never ran this fast in her life! She felt so alive, so into the action, she loved it! Her phone rang and without even slowing down she pulled it out, it was Kettle Lad.

" What's up? " She said, she had gone almost a mile without even feeling exhaustion already.

" It seems our evil doer left behind a little souvenir, A feather. From further examination it appears as if it belongs to a miss Dastardly Deans, a world renowned figure collector. " He said.

" World renowned ey? " She said without needing to catch her breath " Must have some pretty rare stuff. "

" Well she isn't world renowned for that, she's actually has a huge bounty on her head for swindling and stealing almost all of her collection. Good news though, not only is her bounty high but she only lives a mile away from the shop in Bell Summit apartments."

" That's 2 great pieces of news! I'm actually already a mile away from the shop AND with that bounty we'll be able to have our own farm! Imagine the chickens and cows and ducks and oh my gosh I'm so hyped " Tea Girl was talking a million miles a minute, in sync with her running speed.

" Where are you right now? I'll give you directions to her location. " Kettle Lad cheered, a huge wardrobe of fashion on his mind.

" I just past Lemur place, how close am I? " The hyper heroine squealed.

" Let us see... " Kettle Lad paused while he typed in his custom made search engine, then paused again after the results showed up.

" Well I don't have all day! " Tea Girl yelled, running in place to not lose momentum.

" Darling you… It seems you ran towards the opposite direction, you are 2 miles away from it instead of just a mile up the street. "

Tea Girl's running in place slowly started to dwindle to wobbling, her expression went from one of determination to a blank, pale face of despair. She looked up into the sky and screamed something I dare not repeat, gotta keep this series accessible to the younger folks. A cloud of steam erupted from her tea pot bun on her head, muffling out Kettle Lad's taxicab request.

20 or so minutes went by before the Taxi Cab arrived, an exhausted Tea Girl got in and sat down.

" Bell Summit apartments please. She took deep breaths, the cab driver nodded and drove on. His eyes kept looking back in the rearview mirror, not at the road behind but at Tea Girl, this made her nervous.

" So sweet cheeks, you new around here? " He smirked." Sorry I'm not up for much conversation." She said, speaking the truth and also avoiding the cab driver's flirting.

The cab driver frowned and continued to drive. Minutes later he asked another question.

" You seeing anybody? " he asked, a smug look on his greasy face.

" Look, I'm really tired and not up for conversation, please leave me alone. " She sighed as she got a text from Kettle Lad saying " I'll meet you there ^_^ 3 x3 " Tea Girl rolled her eyes at the amount of emojis he always used.

After many awkward questions and driving as slow as possible, the cab driver arrived at the apartments.

" That'll cost you a kiss " He said laughing as he held out his hand, gesturing for money"

Tea Girl bit her lip in anger and dug  in her purse to the horror of her not having a single dime on her.

" I'm sorry but I don't have any money, can you wait a bit while my sidekick comes to pay you? " She started to sweat nervously as steam started to pillow to the top of the cab.

" You heretic! " He yelled and pounded the dashboard. He locked the doors in the cab and started to crawl back to attack Tea Girl. Tea Girl screamed but then calmed down, because she remembered she was actually a heroine and she had very thick plot armor, she pulled out her tea gun and glued the taxi driver to the wheel with her legendary sticky tea attack. The steam from her move along with the emotion produced amount had melted a hole in the top of the cab, she crawled out and looked around for Kettle Lad, who was surprisingly, or unsurprisingly, distracted by his appearance in the pond at the Bell Summit apartment's entrance, the boy with him.

" Are you serious Kettle Lad, I could have been a goner in there!" Tea Girl angrily said and she hopped down from the cab, stomping towards her unsupportive sidekick.

" You know dear, if you were actually in trouble I would have helped you. You're a big girl now and can take care of yourself, now regardless if you stay mad at me or not we have a figurine to find and a thief to take out. " Kettle Lad flipped his hair and walked up the stairs, the little boy following behind.

" Okay then " Tea Girl said to herself, realizing the truth in her partner's words. She had came a long way from the helpless wannabe she was in hero school. And what just happened really showed how much she had grown. Behold, backstory material for another day!

They arrived at Dastardly Dean's apartment, techno music ablaze with loud Kyuhuhu's in the background.

" This is the place for sure. " Kettle Lad said pulling a bobby pin from out of his luscious hair to pick the lock. The boy stood behind Tea Girl, clinging to her leg as Kettle Lad ready the signal to break in.

" 3, 2, 1" He said before Tea Girl interrupted him.

" Wait, I wanna be the one to bust in " She whispered walking up to the door.

" But the element of surprise is the best weap-" Kettle Lad was interrupted by Tea Girl's leg kicking in the door.

" Freeze! " She screamed as a giant cracking noise echoed out the door. There stood an older woman in a feather covered maid outfit, with a horrified look on her face.

" We've got you now, Dastardly Deans! I am Tea Girl and by the herbal leaves of justice you shall be apprehended! " She shouted proudly, still having an adrenaline rush from the run and the confrontation with the sleazy cab driver.

The woman fell to her knees and started scooping up stone pieces into her arms.

" You fools! You just startled me while I was dancing with my new prized possession and caused me to kill her! " She scooped up the pieces into her arms, the young boy now crying as well, knowing that his family may be doomed.

Tea Girl put her hands against her cheeks and started to tear up as well. She may have captured the villain, but yet again she ruined the objective she was trying to save. Kettle Lad was wrong she thought to herself, she was still a failure at life.

Kettle Lad called the local authority to come and arrest the cab driver and Dastardly Deans, he noticed the dozens upon dozens of dolls Deans had stolen. He asked her a question.

" Tell me miss, what exactly is going on here? Why are you dressed up like an anime maid and why the thievery of so many figures? "

She started to explain, filling in the time until the police arrived.

" When I was a young girl, I wanted to be a doll maker and merchant, but my parents always put me down, they wanted me to become a doctor or something like that. It drove me crazy, so when I was finally able to escape them, my sanity had ran thin and I began making up for lost time. I would steal collectible figure after collectible figure until I had a nice collection built up. I paid for this apartment with selling figures I was bored with and had grew tired of dancing with. When I heard that a Kawaii Titan was in town, I had to get it. Not because it was worth a fortune, but because It was just a perfect dance partner. But now… It's gone. As is my end of the line"

She began to break down more and more, police sirens coming in the distance.

" And of the feather that you left behind? " Kettle Lad asked, holding up the piece of the puzzle that led Dastardly Deans to her demise.

" That was from my first ever doll, the only one I had ever earned rightfully. I sold lemonade for 15 years to raise money for it, it was a Karasu Raven Maiden, it's what my current outfit is based off of. I had it stolen from me, that really sent me off the deep in and started my life of crime, "

Kettle Lad put his arms Tea Girl and the young boy as the sun began to set, the police had arrived and was climbing up the stairs to capture the poor old woman who was always down on her luck. A depressing atmosphere loomed over all parties involved.

About half an hour passed as the police gathered up the dolls and the criminals, both the cab driver, who it took over an hour to unglue from the seat and Dastardly Deans. Kettle Lad caught one of the police officers and asked him a questions.

" Say sir, can you tell me why her bounty was so high? She had no powers, she was just an ordinary thief. "

"I have no clue what you exactly said, you'll need to speak clearer " The man in blue groaned.

Kettle Lad defaboulized his voice and repeat himself. The officer still had a hard time understanding him, but replied anyway.

" Her bounty was from a doll making company. It isn't cold hard cash but rather credit towards any products of theirs. They even mentioned making a one of a kind custom figure for whoever brought her to justice. "

Kettle Lad smirked and thanked the officer, but not before asking for a number to claim the reward.

He walked over to the young boy and Tea Girl, both who were quite down in the dumps with his plan.

" I have some good news! " He squealed, the boy looking up in hope while Tea Girl's face remained buried in her arms.

" The bounty for capturing Deans will cover for the broken statue, you're parents are going to be okay young one! Maybe even a surplus of money will come your way since the replacement will not only be a Kawaii Titan, but a one of a kind edition, I have a feeling the man who this all depends on will be delighted to hear. " Kettle Lad cheered, changing the young boy's face from sadness to pure bliss. He hugged Kettle Lad before running to the cops for a ride home.

" Before you go, may we please have your name? " Kettle Lad requested.

" It's Jacob." He smiled and said, hopping into the police car, not a worry in the world as he knew his parents were going to be okay.

Kettle Lad sat down by Tea Girl and patted her on the back, she groaned and began to speak.

" You were wrong, I mess up every mission somehow and I always need your help. You're supposed to be MY sidekick, I should be able to take care of stuff on my own and rescue you, not the other way around. " She began to sob.

Kettle Lad paused for a moment and then took a deep breath before giving his partner in crime-fighting a lecture.

" But you did take care of everything by yourself. You didn't need my help when it came to escaping that creep, yeah, you broke the statue and kinda rushed in but it worked out for the better. The reward will make sure Jacob's family is going to be okay AND because a custom made one of a kind figure will be going to the guy who originally pawned it, he'll be getting a heck of a nice surprise than what he originally planned for. If he's a nice guy, he'll probably help Jacob out a bit more too! You see, though things didn't go as planned, everything came out okay, maybe even better if things would have went normally! You did a great job. " Kettle Lad hugged Tea Girl and she spoke in a muffled tone:

" But I didn't do everything by myself, if it wasn't for you we wouldn't have broken the lock or have even found Dastardly Deans. "

" You're silly " Kettle Lad said " We're a team, we are supposed to use each other's help. That's what partners are for, they help each other out. " Kettle Lad was about to continue his speech, his figurative hand on the figurative sap meter before an officer came up to him and delivered the news.

" The cab driver that was captured had a small bounty on his head as well, it isn't much, but you've earned it " The officer placed a small bag full of money on top of Tea Girl's head then walked off. Tea Girl took the bag off her head and for the first time in seemingly hours, looked up and opened her eyes, her eyes and cheeks red from the events of today. She counted the money and turned to her partner and asked.

" Say Kettle Lad, what's your favorite flavor of Milkshake? " She asked, a smile cracked her face.

" You know how I am with dairy, it will go straight to my thighs" He replied sass filled, flipping his hair and going back into vain mode.

" You're going to get a milkshake and you are going to like it! " Tea Girl giggled and got up, Kettle Lad sighing and rolling his eyes, trying to hide the dorkiest smile the world has ever seen.

“ Gives us all the money, blonds aren’t allowed to have money “ Said Treko, standing not even a dollars length between his partner in crime.

“ Yeah brunettes too! As a matter of fact, no one with hair can have money! “ said Warza, both of their heads shining in the reflection of the lights. They held Do Not Enter signs as a means of threatening the bankers, it glowed with powerful energy. If activated, the victim would not be able to enter places they enjoyed even in the slightest, oh the humanity!

The bankers started to put the money into the bag, thousands upon thousands of dollars flooding into it at a time. When they were through, they handed the bag to the brothers, who were so covered in assorted paper that it was if they were glued to each other. They smiled and walked away, but not before zapping the bankers with the sign, teleporting them out of the bank and onto the street, falling on their bottoms. The brothers then crawled over the desk and began scavenging for whatever else they could find.  

A young woman and… man? Er herm. A young woman and man were walking down the street, The woman was dressed in attire similar to the days of old, with a new age twist to it. Her hair in buns… wait a second, that’s not buns... is that a teapot on her head? How is that even possible? Anyway, teapot bun hybrids on her head and tea stains on her dress. Little tea pots by her side in holsters She was known none other as Tea Girl! Her sidekick followed slowly behind, looking into a compact mirror as she…. okay apparently that is a guy.  Looking into a compact mirror as HE did HIS makeup and fixed his hair. Goodness what is it with young people these days? Regardless, he wore what seemed to be a gown fused with a long sleeve shirt as his outfit. He’s just the sidekick, so we won’t bother describing him too much. He is Kettle Lad

The crime fighting duo was patrolling the streets before nightfall when they spotted 2 women, a blond and a brunette starting to stand up, rubbing their rumps as if they were injured. Tea Girl noticed them first as ran to their aide, Kettle Lad however, well, he heard someone advertising perfume samples and ran 3 times as fast in the opposite direction. Nice job pretty boy.

“ Are you 2 alright? “ Tea Girl asked as she caught her breath with concern to the well being of the 2 women.

“ I would love to say yes but… We just got robbed, and are still being robbed actually, we work inside the bank over there and the Discrimination Brothers held us up at sign point and took a lot of money. They used their super weapon to kick us out of our own bank, which we really like, and we landed out here, mostly unharmed but saddened. “ Cried the Brunette.

“ Don’t worry, I’ll take care of them. “ Tea Girl shouted with pride, getting ready to deliver an epic speech. The Blond cut her off before she could even begin with the words “ There’s no time for heroic speeches you need to go stop those villainous leeches! “

“ Nice rhyme, don’t you agree Kettle La--.... -_-: “ Tea Girl noticed that Kettle Lad was gone being a fruitcake. “ Well looks like it’s up to me “ she said sighing as she dashed towards the bank, Kettle Lad intoxicated by the scent of the amazing perfumes he’ll never be able to afford blocks away.

Tea Girl had never stopped bank robbers before, especially of the caliber of the discrimination brothers. Though nervous, she treked onwards, arriving at said bank and busting the doors open, or at least trying to. They were automatic.

Embarrassed, Tea Girl’s pot on the top of her head started to steam a little in frustration, she was losing her cool. Trying to regain her composure, she pointed at the brothers and made her long awaited speech.

“ Evil Doers of Dortopolis beware, I am the Lipton which is served in the hallways of kings, the Earl Grey butlers serve their masters in the morning in Anime, the mildly hot herbal which is poured upon the heads of those who refuse to wake up. I Am Tea Girl and by the symphony of steaming kettles your plans will be evaporated!!!111one “ Tea Girl put her hands to her hips and stomped her foot, a secret department in her dress shoes opened up as a squirtgun’s power worth of tea jetted out about 3 inches, 97 away from hitting her target!

Treko and Warza looked at each other, then back at Tea Girl, then to the bag of money, then back to Tea Girl, then out the window to see Kettle Lame STILL trying on perfume, then yet again back to Tea Girl before they started laughing hysterically.

At the same time they spoke in unison, like creepy twins from a Stephen Duke book:

“ You have to be kidding us little girl, leave right now or we’ll transport you out of the city, far far away. Don’t you know there’s no losers aloud around us? “

Tea Girl started to get angry that her really well written entry was laughed at. Sure, the spy movie-esq tea squirter in shoe thing was pretty silly, but the shoes were on sale because usually there are knives in them. And yeah, her dog, who is much more useful than Kettle Lad bit a hole in her shoe, but said dog is still more useful than pretty boy.

“ Okay narrator you can stop now “ Said Tea Girl, the brothers looking confused as to who she was talking to as she grew even more frustrated at the discrimination, not only towards her by the brothers but by the narrator, who just so happens to be me, constant backlash towards Kettle Lad. What? He has no room to use any sort of male pronoun with how he acts. It was just how I was raised. Sue me.

The steam from her bun grew larger and larger, hovering towards Treko and Warza as Tea Girl grew upset more fed up even further. The brothers, who had no words for what was going on, waved bye to Tea Girl and started heading out the back door. Tea Girl had enough of this, and pulled out her Tea Gun and started to charge forward so she could get in range to drench them with scalding sweet tea. The brothers remembered their threat and held up their sign, yelling “ did you forget “ and a beam of green energy struck Tea Girl, as she disappeared in a haze of smoke.

“ We tried to tell her that no losers were aloud and that she shouldn’t take one more step, I guess people don’t listen to the rules of their elders anymore.

Then suddenly, a jet stream of caffeinated and sweetened lava struck the bag of money, melting it into a puddle of gloop. Tea Girl was still there, though closing her eyes and coughing due to the smoke of the blast. The brothers who stood shoulder to shoulder could not believe their eyes. Their discrimination power had no effect on Tea Girl.

“ How are you not over the mountain by now kid? “ Said Treko, as Warza mourned over the lost money. With her eyes still closed, but regaining her breath, Tea Girl explained:

“ You fools! I actually do not particularly care for this city! Me and Kettle Lad are moving to the country to own a farm once the time is right. Your power only forbids people from being in places they enjoy, you try to discriminate against perfectly fine people because they are different from you and keep them from what they enjoy. But not on my watch! Now cower in fear as I....” Tea Girl lost all momentum as she opened her eyes, seeing that she had not hit the targets, but instead what she was trying to return back to its rightful place.  Collapsing to her knees she pounded the ground, Treko and Warza laughing in her despair. This was the final straw for Tea Girl, she had not only failed to defeat the brothers, but also destroyed what she was trying to save, the money.

Steam erupted from her buns as she started to mope, clouding the room with the thick gas. It was so thick that it started to leak into the streets, catching the non helpful sidekick’s attention.

“ Oh a sauna, it will be good for my complexion,  Kettle Lad spoke, in an accent so flamboyant I had to use subtitles to even know what he was saying. Sigh…

The steam started to cause pain to the discriminating duo, not by the heat directly, but what the heat was doing to their bodies. They screamed, but not in pain.

Kettle Lad had arrived, but he was disappointed that it was just a bank and not a spa. Before leaving he heard his miles more successful partner than him yelling out of anger. Clapping his hands a device fell from his skirt shirt thingy… I don’t even want to know. It was a vacuum of sorts, and he picked it up and turned it on. The steam was sucked up rapidly by the device, revealing a fuming hot Tea Girl and the discrimination brothers crying.

Kettle Lad rushed over to the far more important…

“ Now listen here Entity of wordplay.” Said the sissy boy, the only way to transcribe what he was saying was by the subtitles, sponsored by Hilltop Jew, your #1 green drink.

Kettle Lad screamed and clapped his hands, a… oh god it’s a script book.

“As you can see here “ he said, opening the book to page 36, it being covered in terrible handwriting, how could he call himself a writer?

“AS YOU CAN SEE HERE” he cried,” the plot of this episode is more of a pilot of sorts. The Discrimination brothers are the main villains, but I also have it to where you, the narrator is also an antagonist. After Tea Girl defeats the brothers, I snap and give you a mouth full, or I guess eye full, can’t help that I’m so glamorous, darling. You get replaced by someone with an extremely similar writing style and humor, but cuts out all the Kettle Lad hate, or in a better term, discrimination, at the end of this and for all other future short stories. The lesson is then taught that you shouldn’t get down on someone, even if they are yourself, just because said individual is different, and to treat everyone equally. “ Kettle Lad then claps and a giant pair of scissors drops out of what seems to be a void under his gown. He takes the scissors and snaps the air, killing my hatred towards him and his fabulous self and continuing on with the story.

“ Okay everyone! “ He says flamboyantly “ continue with the show, I’ll be dancing over here poorly singing dramatic closing music. “

Tea Girl’s emotions started to simmer down as she smiled, she got back up on her own 2 feet, gave Kettle Lad a thumbs up, and directed her gaze at the brothers, who were surprisingly not standing next to each other. Their faces were not full of hatred but of… relief.

“ Nice to see you guys split apart I guess, couldn’t handle the heat I take it? “ The brothers got down on their knees and cried, not only of sorrow, but of jow as well.

“ Thank you Tea Girl, your steam caused the glue between us to melt, finally freeing us from each other. Long ago, we were just wee little kids, playing with glue. One day we got stuck together and people made fun of us ever since. We couldn’t do anything without the other person being right next to each other., and it caused us to be frowned upon by others. Dates, day to day chores, even going out in public we got funny stares and were…  “ they both gulped “ discriminated against. We were drove to a life of negativity and crime, if we couldn’t be happy, no one could. But now… we are free and it’s all thanks you! “

Tea Girl smiled, but then frowned again saying“ I’m so going to jail with you guys because I melted all the money “

“ Not to worry, we have a debt to pay to you and society! We will work hard to earn back all that money” they said, nodding.

“ Thank you so much! “ Tea Girl rejoiced, her anxiety dwindling down to microscopic levels.

It was about Midnight now, the police department taking away the reformed brothers to a, not jail cell, but wide open plains to repay their debt.

Tea Girl and Kettle Lad were walking the streets, tired, exhausted, but very satisfied with the work they did today.

“ You know Kettle Lad “ Tea Girl said with a smile on her face “ I was really nervous at first, but that wasn’t so bad at all. Sure I accidently destroyed the money, but I also accidently change 2 guys down on their luck’s lives for the better. I’m pretty happy about that! “

Kettle Lad, who was wanting to get home as soon as possible so he could go into his pink fuzzy bath robes, pulled out a brush and started pampering his hair, simply saying:

“ Not the first time you really changed someone’s life for the better “ he giggled at the subliminal messaging.

“ What do you mean by that? “ Tea Girl said, a confused look on her face.

“ Oh nothing “ the fabulous man said, looking up at the moon with a smile on his face.

The dynamic duo walked into the night together, another obstacle crossed…

But seriously last thing about this, and this is outta complete curiosity, where did he get that gown shirt fusion?

And in these dreams, I see him… The man who speaks with hands, he call me his son and shows me the fate of all of the underground. All of the world even.

But dreams are just dreams, and I do not care enough to bother interpreting them, yet alone remembering.. I lay back down and drift back off into sleep, a common occurrence regardless of what time it is.

I begin to dream yet again…

“Soon…

From The Heavens…

The Fallen Angel…

Save them…”

I awake to the sound of Papyrus yelling his head off at me to wake up and walk him to Undyne’s house, I had another dream, but I do not remember it at all. I don’t even remember my first dream to be honest. Getting dressed, I put on my coat as Papyrus eagerly awaits at the door, rattling in anticipation for his training with Undyne.

We exit out of the door into the pure snow, walking to Waterfall where Undyne resigns. Papyrus and I begin to debate about what puzzle is harder. Junior Jumble or The Crossword.

“ Sans, how many times do I have to tell you, you Boondoggler, Junior Jumble is far superior to The Crossword. “ Says Papyrus in his usual charismatic tone.

“ Papyrus dude, really? Those puzzles are for baby bo- “ I get cut off by the sound of a distant splash in the water. Curious, I continued to walk with Papyrus to his destination, eager to explore the phenomena.

Strange… I actually felt eager about something for once instead of uninterested or bored.

We arrived at Undyne’s house, before we even knocked on her strange door, she opened the door with a vicious force, headlocked my brother, and began to give his cranium a noogie.

“ Papyrus you punk, how are you doing?” Growled the valiant warrior as she playfully tormented my brother.

Distressful was the “ Nyeh-heh-heh’s “ that spouted from his mouth. I gave Undyne a wink, and with her good eye, she winked back. This was our way of passing on the precious Papyrus, from brother to teacher.

I ran to where I detected the splash, Echo Flowers filled the chambers of the corridors with memories of the past preserved until new ones could be obtained. I was not interested in this in the slightest.

I ignored the correct way to reach the other side of the pond, the lilypad puzzle would be too much of a time sink for this occasion, I swam against the current until I reached land where a lone bench solemnly kept watch over the sights.

One sight in particular.

The sight of a fallen creature.

Puzzled, and not in the sense that Papyrus would like, I dive back into the water. It was quite difficult to maintain this much physical activity after seemingly eons of boondoggling, but eventually I managed to reach the fallen creature.

It was a creature alright, but one that was quite the common occurrence on the surface. But here. this phenomena was something to take great caution to.

What had fallen from the granite sky was a human, broken, beaten and scarred to the point of being at death’s door. I’m not sure why, but I knew this human could have been a great friend. Like I had shook their hands in a realm of fiction or something along the lines of that. But now was no time to ponder our could be friendship, I could tell their time was running out, and that they were a key to something. To what exactly I was not sure, but I had a beast nipping on my back that this could make or break everything. Life, death, the peace, the flowers the trees, everything under the sun moon and stars, including the underground itself. I pulled them out from the water and rest them upon the bench. I say gently, not caring rather they heard it or not:

“ This way kid, I know a shortcut “

And with their barely breathing self in my stubby arms; I carried them into the purple haze which had only been host to my entrance since before I could remember. My breath held, not out of survival but of hope. That in the end, everything was going to be okay.

“ My dear Sans, if only you knew how proud I am of you at this very moment. You do not remember why you became how you are, but you are finally making an effort to overcome your depression. Unbeknownst to you, but it is a cause so noble that generations after you will recall the events that are about to take place, in this timeline at least. It warms my heart knowing that the promise I made to her shall not be feigned. I am proud of you….