I Wish It Could Be Different
Sneak peek of Chapter 4: What's in a Name? on ao3
Summary: It's always the same thing: eat, workout, practice, read, sleep, just to start it all over again tomorrow. Shane Hollander finds an escape from the responsibilities being thrown at him by his family, his town, himself by retreating into video games.
Who else would he find online but Ilya Rozanov? The boy across the world retreating into the same games but maybe for different reasons.
The beauty of gamertags is you never know who might be behind them…
Notes: This story is set to begin when Shane and Ilya are both 17 years old, and will attempt to follow the same timeline as the book series and show. Disclaimer: there will be backstory and additional scenes added that are not canon and are strictly my own interpretation.
There were some scenes throughout the book and show that I wish we got detailed descriptions for, and that was the inspiration for my creation for this fic.
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"This weekend made me realize how much my life is gonna change within the next few months, and honestly, even the next year. And I like you, alot. It's just..." Shane paused for what felt like an eternity to Ilya.
"Where do you see this going?" Shane finally asked, his voice shaking.
Ilya paused as he tried to think of the words in English. He wanted to tell Shane that he wanted to be more than friends. He wanted to admit to Shane that he had saved his life, that he was on the verge of ending it all before they met in that COD lobby all those months ago. He wanted to tell Shane that they were more compatible than he knew and explain just how perfect they are for each other...but he can't. Not right now.
He heard Shane sigh into the mic. "I mean... is this just an online sex thing as friends, or...?"
Ilya knew what Shane was implying, and he was trying to hide how grateful he was feeling that Shane brought this up first. He's been thinking about it. He's been thinking about them...together.
Ilya chose his words carefully. He didn't want to come on too strong and scare Shane away, but he didn't want to be dishonest and come off as someone who is just using him either.
"I think...or," Ilya stated in a playful but nervous tone, praying that his assessment of Shane's feelings was right. "I like the sex. But I like you too."
Shane let out a nervous, breathy chuckle. "That's a relief to hear."
Ilya laughed quietly along with him.
"We're both graduating soon. Probably going different places. Do you feel like we should....meet? Like for real?" Shane asked.
Ilya chuckled to himself and shook his head. If only you knew.
"Let's spend time together. See where it goes. And talk about more later. Near graduation. Sound good?" Ilya wanted to spend as much time together as possible. He wasn't sure how he would get through the next six months with Shane...Redb1rd's...company, and he knew telling him before they met organically at the draft could risk that.
"Okay. Yeah, that sounds good."
"What is favorite bird?" Ilya had been curious about this for a while. He had never gotten the courage to ask more about Shane's gamertag, but it always stayed at the forefront of his mind.
"What?" Shane responded in a confused tone.
"What is favorite bird? You are Redb1rd. You like bird, no?"
gummygunk
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