☕️

‘til paul do us blart

There is something about sunlight that makes life seem just a little less horrible

it’s the vitamin d bitch

oh this is my goldfish his name is wet little bitch

im perfectly aware that at least 86% of all the funny posts on this hellsite are fabricated or embellished or otherwise bullshit to some degree but if i read something and it does me a chuckle or brings any minuscule shred of positive emotion to my stupid fuckin brain im reblogging it

Imagine Guy Fieri as Gatsby, and calling you “Pulled Pork” instead of “Old Sport.”

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne on ceaselessly into Flavortown

In my defense, your honor, I really am the dumbest bitch alive

Please don’t take your pets for granted. Even if you’re frustrated that your dog has been barking all day or your bird has been screaming for attention, remember you are all they have in this world. Give your fish that extra water change. Give your dog or cat that tummy rub they’ve been begging for. Chop up some fresh fruit as a treat for your rodents or reptiles. Just spend some time with them. Be compassionate to your animals. They are living creatures that are alive simply because you wish them to be. They may only be a small part in your life, but to them, you are their everything.

TONIGHT… WE’RE DRINKING FROM THE BONG

No more ace discourse or kin drama or whatever in 2018 we’re baking banana bread and THATS FINAL

I FORGOT ABOUT THE EXISTENCE OF THE SMOOTHIE ONE WITH THE FUCKING MASKS OH MY GOD IM DEAD

@ribb1t Thought you’d get a kick outta these!

that last one is me