WHY DO I OWN THE WORLDS MOST FUCKING ASSHOLE FUCKING DOG
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@teaandcait
WHY DO I OWN THE WORLDS MOST FUCKING ASSHOLE FUCKING DOG

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"My brother just got his 4th unconditional for uni and av just eaten a dog biscuit thinkin it was chocolate."
I am dead
My heart aches when Iām not with you.
YMJT (via confessionvault)

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I want love. I want to be loved, but thatās not happening.
(via beautifullumieres)
My favorite thing about Thomas the Tank Engine is that it canonically takes place in a train post-apocalypse where the Island of Sodor is the only safe zone in a totalitarian dystopia in which steam trains are routinely killed and their body parts are sold or cannibalized for repair
If you think Iām kidding you need to read the original books
could you please direct me to a source? i would feel much better if this was validated.
It took me so long to find this quote online but I did it because itās so much darker than one might expect from Thomas the Tank Engine:
āā¦Engines on the Other Railway arenāt safe now. Their controllers are cruel. They donāt like engines any more. They put them on cold damp sidings, and then,ā Percy nearly sobbed, ātheyā¦they c-c-cut them up.ā -āThe Bluebells of England.ā Ā Stepney the Bluebell Engine. Ā Rev. Awdry, Wilbert. Ā London: Egmont Publishing, 1963.
This illustration, by Gunvor and Peter Edwards, accompanied the above text in the original book, and depicts a pair of unfortunate Other Railway engines moments before being disassembled with a blowtorch.
HOLY FUCK LOOK AT THE ONE IN THE BACKGROUND THEY TOOK ITS FUCKING FACE OMG
the early thomas the tank engine books are pretty standard stuff. saccharine bubblegum type stories and illustrations. if you watched the show, itās like that in book form. the second half of the railway series are so fucking dark and surreal iām convinced they were a result of reverend wilbur awdry doing copious amounts of lsd and having hallucinations of his own death.
Excuse me but the very first story in the Railway Series is about an engine who hides in a tunnel and refuses to run because he doesnāt want to get his paint job ruined in the rain, so railway management seals off the tunnel.
They eventually let him out because another engine breaks down or something, but the original plan was to just leave him in there forever.
On the show, didnāt they also hook up one engine to a generator, so heād never move again? That was literally one of the lines, I think. Itās on some other post on here. It was chilling.
Yes! Ā This also happened in the books, to an engine referred to only as āNo. 2ā³, but the television series applied the same scenario to an invented character named āSmudgerā, in the episode āGranpuffā.
āSmudger,ā said Duke. āWas a show-off. He rode roughly and often came off the rails. I warned him to be careful, but he took no notice.ā āListen, Dukieā he snared. āWho worries about a few spills?ā āWe do here! I said, but Smudger just laughed.ā āHahaha!ā āUntil one day, Manager said he was going to make him useful at last. Smudger stopped laughing then!ā āW-w-why? What did he do?!ā āHe turned him into a generator. Heās still there behind our shed. Heāll never move again.ā
This is so fucked up
No, listen.
Okay, so we see Railway Management doing all this shit, right, but supposedly itās so much worse in the Other Railways? I mean, sure, you might get turned into a generator or bricked into a tunnel for not doing as youāre told, but at least youāre not cut up and sold for parts, right? Itās not so bad on the island of Sodor, right?
Or maybe thatās just what Railway Management wants the engines to think.
Maybe the island of Sodor is the real totalitarian regime, and the engine citizens (slaves) are fed propaganda, illustrated in hellish grays and sulfuric yellows, about how bad it is everywhere else, at all the Other Railways.
You are lucky to be an engine of Sodor.
Railway Management cares about you.
Trust Railway Management.
Stay on Your Track.
It Could Be So Much Worse.
Wtf the fuck is this train based 1984 bullshit
me when astrology doesnt match my personality: this is liberal hippie trash and honestly, I am the one who decides what kind of person I am, not some con artist trying to make a quick buck
me when astrology matches my personality: this is honestly so scary, i can literally feel the planets aligning and I am one with the earth, moon and the stars *grabs handful of dirt for no reason*

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I'm gonna fucking shoot myself my mums relationship is doing my fucking head in
There Is A New Type Of Firework Called The Sky Ladder And Itās Beautiful
logic at its finest
This is stupid though ācuz sheās headed for the door. Heās going further into the elevator. Even if the door isnāt open, thereās still a bit of a ledge near the door that you could stand on while bracing yourself against the railing. Once the door opens, youād be in a good spot to exit via the door as well. What sheās going for is smarter than what heās doing.
Also she clings to the rail, he throws his hands up. If he were to fall, heād have nothing to hang on to, sheād at least be able to hold herself up by the rail
That guy does a sweet slide though
#she might be the more instinctively sensible but we know who the one with rhythm is
Is this just a movie filled with animal puns? Because if so I am in
rip santa.
Working in Retail in under 3 minutes
i had to watch this like 5 times because of no captions but lmao if someone makes a transcript for this it would be bomb
transcript: āSo we have these Santas at work, right, okay? We have black and we have white Santas. And theyāre like creepy, five-foot tall, lifelike animatronic⦠like, Santas that hold plates of cookies and milk, and they kinda look like they could wake up and come to life and murder you in your sleepā and they donāt include batteries, but we have these Santas. Like nothing screamsĀ āfestive holiday cheerā like a big, hulking Santa. Um. Nothinā will jingle your jangles more. So, um, this woman comes in and sheās like,Ā āDo you have these?ā and Iām like,Ā āOh my god, yeah!ā So a couple weeks ago we sold out of our white Santas, and we are down to like, three black Santas. And so, I take her to the aisle, I show her the Santas, and the first thing out of her mouth is,Ā āIām not racist, butā¦ā and Iām like, well, I canātā Iām not in the position to decide if you are or not, but if likeā if I could use context clues and infer, uh, I would say maybe that you might be. And three, weāre talking about Santa. Likeā (stuttering) did we switch subjects? And so, um, Iām in like, Iā the next thing that pops out of her mouth is like,Ā āThis is not right.ā and Iām like, okay, Iām sorry, but this is what the picture was. And sheās like,Ā āNo.Ā Santa is white.ā And Iām like, oh no, okay. Okay. So Iām inā Iām about to tell her, Iām like, mid-sentence, like,Ā āIām sorry, do you want me to go call another store, do you need me to, like, write you a raincheck just in case we we get any more.ā And sheās like,Ā āThis is wrong, I want them taken down.ā She interrupts me, says that, and Iām like, (pause). I like, look around, and Iām like, is she talking to me? Is this, like, my own, like, personal hell? But like, of course it is. So, um, Iām like,Ā āI canāt take these Santas down.ā And sheās like,Ā āWhy not?!ā And Iām like,Ā āYou either have to buy them, or take them down yourself.ā And that was like, theĀ stupidest thing I could have ever said, becauseā (sighs) she takes this bag, with like, Jesusās face, like, slammed right in the middle as a designā itās bigā she takes it off her shoulder, and starts beatingĀ these black Santas! She starts beating these Santas down, they were like, falling down⦠and Iām like, oh my god! Whatā what is happening? So like, I step in the middle of her and these Santas and Iām like,Ā āMaāam, maāam, you need to leave, you need to stop, or Iām going to have to call someone.ā So she like, stops, and sheās like, beet red, and like, huffinā and puffinā, and she like, looks at me and I can tell sheās just trying to get like, a one-liner in, and sheās like,Ā āThe Santa I knowĀ is white.ā And then she walks away. And Iām like, wellā Iām processing whatās happening, while also thinking, like, the Santa you know? Santaās not real. So unless youāre using an ouija board to contact good old Kris Kringle, um, from like, B.C. or whenever, Iām like, thatās pretty impressive, but how ya doinā that. And, um, Iā the last thought that ran through my mind is that, Iām like, I would hate to be in the room with her when she finds out that Jesus is not white.ā

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my parents eloped when my mother was 19 and this is a picture of her on their wedding night and itās literally my favorite picture that exists of anyone, ever. Ā