more ramblings. this time on kindness, and how integral it is to both hye-jinās and dusikās charactersĀ
dusik uses his kindness like armor. he wraps himself in it, puts it on like a second skin, hides himself away behind a smile, an outstretched hand. how can i be in pain, when youāve never seen me cry? let me fix your roof. let me watch your store. let me buy you milk. i donāt have baggage, so let me take yours. he uses it like hye-jin uses clothing, uses money. as a defense, a plea. donāt look at me, look at this. i beg you, donāt look at me.
hye-jin hides her kindness away. itās a fragile, rough-hewn thing; an exposed underbelly; a flower starved of sunlight. i wonāt talk to you on the elevator, but iāll get fired protecting you and your pain. i wonāt apologize immediately, but iāll listen to your music and tell you my favorite song. i wonāt let you touch my car, but iāll throw my arm in front of you when we nearly crash. iāll give you dental implants, iāll give you braces, but donāt you dare thank me bc youāre still going to pay me something, anything, so i can pretend this is practical, an exchange between doctor and patient instead of friend to friend. during the ice cream scene, she nearly flinches when dusik mentions it, her kindness. itās like heās pressed on a bruise, an exposed nerve. she fumbles for words, telling him that it meant nothing, that she still wants money, that nothingās changed. donāt look at me. donāt look at me. donāt look at me.
you know, i said this was about kindness, but i think itās really about love.
