Every day is a struggle between trying to survive one more day and one more day fighting for services from the Portland veterans health administration, and then there’s always struggling to survive on the street while not receiving the benefits I’m entitled to from the Veterans Health Administration. I am not looking for service connection. I suffered a combat injury with TBI in Afghanistan. I retired from the Army 100% service connected. I don’t understand how I can be rated so high for PTSD but not be able to get into PTSD program. Have a TBI, but unable to go to a TBI clinic. cognitive disorder and the loss of fine motor skills in my hands and arms but no occupational therapist . I arrived in Portland April 14 and I am still waiting for my August 30 endocrinologist appointment to go back on HRT. If it wasn’t for the hard work of my social worker at 5C and Vancouver in coordination with staff at 5C/SRTP I would’ve lost my mental health. I would’ve lost my dental . I would’ve had nothing !While it is something , it’s a drop in the bucket I see some people served such a short amount of time in peacetime have so many more services. They deserve the services tgey get hands down , but I would also deserve them. If not more depending on a case by case? The same way I feel there’s a lot of veterans that suffer far greater than I do and deserve far more resources, but I wonder if they’re actually getting any. so every day I continue to fight so that hopefully next time the next veteran in my situation don’t go through this BS . And if we all rise up and demand improvement at the VA perhaps the next generation won’t have to fight tooth now just to not be put to the street and become a forgotten homeless veteran. Veterans that served honorably , what could they possibly have done to deserve the street. It’s so sad the other forgotten veterans I meet on the street. All of our stories are very similar. We were trying to get help from the VA, without that help our behaviors got us in trouble in society, and by the time we got help it was so little so late we ended up in trouble in the program, and once we got in trouble, we were denied the rest of the services we needed and blacklisted from trying other programs. That’s the boat I’m in right now so it’s not that I’m saying I played no wrong I’m saying the role I played was who I become. Stop coming in and telling veterans that there’s not a stigma in mental health when you stigmatizes us! Stop saying PTSD is a real diamonds in severely affected lives, , when it affects us you punish us. Stop saying substance abuse is a disease and then treating us like criminals! Stop saying not every program is for every veteran when we only have one chance and please stop saying relapse is a part of recovery when it’s held against us and we end up on the street. my goal is to work towards a Veterans administration that functions better than the one today. No veteran that served with honor ends up getting thrown out like garbage homeless on the street as I have been and so many other veterans have been. I have now been in detox for one week. Today I have seven days, clean and sober. It has been so difficult detoxing off of opiates and stimulants. I don’t know why I keep putting myself through this hell it’s not like I know how to control my triggers, literally my triggers, being sexually assaulted, the last time I was raped was in Vancouver this year after being thrown off of a VA program with absolutely no support. I just couldn’t believe how cold hearted Vancouver VA was to accuse me of something I didn’t do and then do it on a Friday afternoon and then give absolutely no support knowing what the hell my life was gonna become I went there for help. I didn’t receive any help just made my life hours but I can’t keep complaining. I need to move on regain my strength and learn goes to live and love life again if I can do that I’m ahead of the game.