Formerly Sanguinesmi1e

Part 1, Part 2

As far as I can tell the reasons that this happens are:

The interpretation of disability accommodation as wokeness - a lot of the same people who are shitty about food limitations are also shitty about sign language interpreters and ramp requirements (also building regulations relating to the latter) because they view any accommodation as capitulation to a group they think should "suck it up and deal with it" (quietly exist without named or obvious accommodations). The conversations around peanut-free or milk-free classrooms to accommodate children with allergies are similarly unhinged and possibly more horrifying.

Conflating specialty diets as a result of proximity in the popular consciousness - you're a lot more likely to see something described as "vegan + gluten free" or to see vegan/vegetarian/g-free options grouped on menus than you are to see keto/vegan/gfree options so the "lefty" animal-free diets get grouped with gluten-free (it's also interesting that there are right-wing diets, and I wonder how many of these people remember when you used to be able to find "atkins-friendly" symbols on casual dining restaurant menus)

Gluten free diets became a fad fifteen years ago; tons of people read "Wheat Belly" and stopped eating wheat as a weight loss hack and when they went back to eating wheat because it's actually pretty difficult to get around a major staple grain they didn't experience any negative consequences; people saw this and basically think that it's a trend, that people are faking medically necessary diets as part of a fad. When questioned about this they always go "but, I mean, it's okay if you REALLY need to skip the wheat because you have a condition but most people are doing it because it's popular" when g-free diets haven't been a major trend for quite a while now. TO BE QUITE FAIR, I think that things like "Gluten Aware" cookies and beer and such, which contain a little gluten but not NO gluten contribute to this perception (these have annoyed me forever for two reasons: 1. They make people without celiac think that a little gluten is fine for people with celiac, which it is not; 2. fucking commit, companies. *I* want the cookies and beer and it's deeply annoying that these business will go to the lengths to create products with minimal gluten but won't actually make g-free foods - this is often because of the risk of cross contamination, they won't claim to make g-free things because they won't work with a dedicated g-free facility)

Anyway, in conclusion: it sucks, I'm sorry.

US specific:

Is your ham made with vinegar? Does your ham have the generic word "spices" on the ingredient list? Does your ham include "smoke flavoring"? Does your ham include caramel coloring?

Because malt vinegar has gluten in it. "Spices" may include wheat products in a mix. Smoke flavoring may be made with barley flour. Caramel coloring may be made with wheat or barley syrup.

If the label says "gluten free" that means that the "spices," caramel coloring, vinegar, and smoke flavor are certified to contain 20ppm or less of gluten.

If the ham is cured in any way, it may include gluten. If the ham was marinated, it probably includes gluten. If the ham was prepared in a facility that processes wheat in any way, it might be cross contaminated with gluten.

There's a company out there called "Gluten Free Water" that makes water in plastic bottles, poking fun at the idea that too many things have a gluten free label. I fucking hate that company. Because that company is functionally saying "lol, people are so sensitive and over the top about this, let's be a little silly and laugh about how crazy people can be with their 'gluten free' nonsense."

Did you know that there are sustainable food containers and straws that contain wheat? And that you don't have to label them? There are definitely people with celiac who have been sickened by biodegradable plastic straws in their "obviously water is gluten free there's no risk here" water.

"It's over-labeled so it looks trendy" just means you don't know how foods are made or what foods contain gluten. Gluten is ridiculously common in foods in general, and also in packaged meats.

Your ham has to say gluten free because it distinguishes it from the hams that do contain gluten, which is a fucking lot of them. And you're annoyed that your ham has to say gluten free and I'm annoyed that I'm standing in the grocery store calling a ham company to figure out where they source their caramel coloring so I can figure out if the damned ham is safe to eat.

"lol, oats don't have wheat in them, are people so stupid that they have to be told what is and isn't wheat? why does this oatmeal have a gluten free label?" Cross contamination; gluten free oats are not grown near wheat and are not processed in facilities that process wheat.

"lol, rice doesn't have wheat in it, why is this rice labeled gluten free, all rice is gluten free" Cross contamination; the rice isn't processed on equipment that processes wheat.

"lol why does this turkey breast say gluten free, it's just fucking turkey" read the ingredients on your "just" turkey, lots of packaged meat is packed in broth, some of which contains modified food starch, which may contain wheat.

"lol why are these strawberries labeled gluten free? they're fucking strawberries" WAX, BUDDY. SOME FRUITS ARE COATED IN PRESERVATIVE WAX FILMS BY THE MANUFACTURER AND SOME OF THOSE FUCKING FILMS CONTAIN GLUTEN.

I think that part of the reason that people are so irritated by g-free labels is because it exposes them to just how vast and alienating their food systems are.

"Ham should just be meat from a pig, maybe with sugar and salt; what on earth is happening that there might be wheat in that process? Nothing in that process should involve wheat." And then you might have to think about it for a second, might have to wonder what "sugar" and "salt" mean when someone is producing a million hams to be delivered thousands of miles away. It's not just sugar and salt; it's preservatives and nitrates and batch cooking and getting corn syrup instead of sugar and getting smoke flavoring instead of smoking the ham and turning your "whole food" into all the ingredients that make up the ingredients that make up the ingredients.

A "gluten free" label says "you can eat this" to somebody with celiac disease, who has already pounded their skull against the shittiness of the medical system and the food system.

But to someone who doesn't have to worry that their food is going to disable them, a "gluten free" sticker on ham takes a known quantity and turns their sandwich into a hyperobject that contains animal agriculture and industrial additive production and shipping pollution and the ongoing assault on regulation.

If it doesn't have the label, you can just eat your lunch. If it does have the label, you are haunted by the specter of RFK junior imploding the FDA.

This fic has been occupying a corner of my head for months and I could not rest without trying to capture some of its beauty in a drawing!

Can’t reccomend the fic enough

Also birch bark was used to practice writing on!

I think one of the reasons people use parchment is a LOT of people seem to think the word is just an old timey word for paper and not an entirely different thing? I see people making the same mistake with papyrus too (papyrus IS technically a type of paper but its pretty distinct in its feel and color and weight from regular paper types).

Paper = sheets of matted cellulose fibers. Usually made from wood fiber pulp.

Parchment = Specially prepared sheets of untanned animal skin. Usually goat and calf and sheep.

thought about this because it's so frustrating when people argue that 'dying in childbirth' is a historical sort of event that doesn't happen nowadays (false) and therefore is irrelevant to the legal status of abortion, since it's not a real danger.

except it super is, and i think a lot of people haven't noticed that this argument in addition to simply being incorrect is basically the same as when people say we don't need vaccines for deadly diseases because no one gets those now anyway.

Until a portal opens up and a white haired teen sticks his head through, and all the heroes are suddenly on alert as the kid looks around. His eyes catch on Batman and he grins, pointing directly at him.

“Man dressed as a bat!”

Batman: ???

White haired teen reaches back into the portal and brings another, slightly smaller teenager with black hair through, holding him up by the armpits. “Is this your dimension?”

The black haired teenager - is that Robin’s symbol on his chest? looks around, then tuts. “No. My Wonderwoman is taller, and my Aquaman has a beard. Also, this place seems more… color saturated.”

The white haired teen huffs. “Aw, man. I got excited. Well, at least we’re getting closer! Come on, Robin!”

Snapping out of his shock, Superman twitches forward. “Hey, wait-!”

Both teenagers vanish in a flash of light before any of them can stop them.

Danny: You know, you're the first client I've ever had who paid for me to be naked but doesn't want to do any touching.

Bruce: I understand this is a odd job for you but I hope the amount i offered and the accommodation make up for the bother.

Danny: Sugar, I'm ussually spending my Saturday nights standing on a street corner freezing, until some jerk with cash drives by. Trust me, I much prefer this.

Bruce: Hmmm. Why don't I hire you exclusively then? No intimacy between us, you get this as your going rate and you can come and go through my manor. Just as long as my butler thinks I'm in a relationship, even if its only for a quick row in the hay.

Danny sarcastically: Oh sure, if you can get Batman to get my pimp off my back before he breaks every bone in my body.

Bruce: Done. You can use my room as you please and I'll call Batman. He'll handle the pimp.

Danny: Right, like you know Batman

Bruce:

Danny alarmed: Wait do you know BATMAN!?

1. Bruce thought Danny knew he was Batman which is why he looks confused in the picture. This was during Bruce's first year as Batman, where he had to do a quick change in a alley way, and Danny happened to be hiding there from a angry client. Danny couldn't see him in the dark but Bruce thought everyone has crazy good night vision like him and his secert was outed like five months into being Batman. He hires Danny because he thought Danny was trust worthy due to this.

2. Danny lost his ghost powers. In this Au Vlad created a way to rip his ghost half out of him and left Danny scrambling for survival. This is because he lost Phantom post Bad Reveal and his parents wont take him back since they dont believe his not a halfa anymore.

3. Jazz is unaware of Danny selling himself. He lied to her so his sister wouldn't spend her life trying to save him. Jazz thinks Danny is in Gotham U and is unaware of the trouble he fell into. And trouble he is in. Danny's pimp is one of the most dangerous in the city backed by a large crime organization. Once they sink thier teeth into someone only death can let them go.

4. Danny has been on the street corner for some time before meeting Bruce. He overplays his dialect and perfected a southern drawl that he uses during work. People fall for it except for Bruce. He saw right through the fake personal and accent the second Danny open his mouth. Even Alfred is convinced Danny is from deep south and not Illinois.

5. Danny thinks Batman is a sloppy hero for his age. He understands the first year as a hero is rough- Invisa-bill still haunt hims- but he was fourteen when he became Phantom. Batman is a full grown man. He should be better.

6. Alfred is unaware of Bruce's plot. He is genuinely excited Bruce has a off and on again boyfriend because he hopes it will get Bruce to give up Batman. This is before Dick so honestly, Danny is the only person in Bruce's life which is...sad seeing as they met through Danny's work but Alfred is hopeful Bruce will get Danny out of that life and make a honest man out of him.

So here comes Vlad, he's ready to stir some shit. All that time he had Danny's ghost half and he's been trying to turn Phantom into his son, or- well he's been trying to make that happen with him but it hasn't worked out. His plans of molding Phantom into what he wants him to be isn't happening and frankly, maintaining the spirit has been an exhausting waste of his time (his thoughts, not mine) so he's just gonna be rid of him now.

Vlad knows damn well that Danny has been completely rejected by his parents and is essentially no longer their son anymore. If he dumps Phantom in the zone he might thrive there and continue to be a thorn in his side so the best thing to do is just dump Phantom back with Danny and no longer bother with any of that again.

So he goes and does that, it's a whole messy situation where Bruce figures out straight away that Vlad Masters is up to no good in his city. Plasmius is a "new" rogue Batman can't stand. Danny is stressed the fuck out cause why is this his life, go away Vlad.

And the whole thing escalates untill there is an event where Vlad just sorta forces Phantom back into Danny.