Having a body is bullshit i want to be a shimmering orb

i don’t think people understand how much of life is grief. not just people dying, but losing the version of yourself you thought you’d become. grieving the city you had to leave. the friends you lost not in argument, but in silence. the summer that will never come back. the feeling that maybe you peaked at 12 when you were reading books under the covers and believing in forever

okay im gonna go smoke and pretend i enjoy being alive

Crazy how like. Staying up as a kid was like.. getting away with something, you were being bad and getting some gaming in on your gameboy. Now I’m an adult and I stayed up too late watching cat videos or some shit and all I earned was a bad night of rest and dry eyes.

they hate me because im an effeminate man and a masculine woman