"If I could protect but one person from war's horror, then I would bear any shame. I would bear it proudly." | Indie Final Fantasy XII multimuse blog featuring Basch fon Ronsenburg and other canon & OC muses | See pinned post for Rules & Current Muse List | Penned by Silence | AU, Crossover, & OC Friendly | Any NSFW will be tagged: nsfw | Side blog of fallxnprxnce | All muses at least 20+, Mun is 40+ | 20+ Muns Only Please!
{{{ ACTIVITY PSA: Due to my free time being drastically reduced by work and family obligations, I am not accepting new writing partners at this time! This is not about playing favorites or excluding anyone, it’s just that I need to make sure I don’t overwhelm myself by taking on more activity than I can handle. If this changes in the future, I will remove this message. Thank you for understanding! <3 }}}
First of all, this is a side blog, so follows will be from @fallxnprxnce.
{{ Mun is 40+ || 20+ only please! || Minors DNI! || Rules & RP Style }}
Second, this is a Final Fantasy XII multimuse blog. It began with Basch as the main muse and has sprawled out from there. It now includes several canon and OC muses. The CURRENT MUSE LIST can be found here!
Thirdly, I have a weekly schedule (see below) to divide activity for all my currently active RP blogs (see below). Outside of a few exceptions if I get inspiration for something, I will only be posting for blogs on their scheduled days. You can send me asks, memes, and reply to threads on off days, but I may wait to respond until that blog is scheduled. Note: I'm a night owl, so most of my writing is done between 9PM and 5AM (EST).
{{ CONTENT WARNING: This blog is heavily canon-divergent and headcanon-based!! Many of these headcanons are of a dark, violent, adult, medical, or psychological nature in order to flesh out the canon plot of the game and to provide more detailed, realistic backgrounds, character development, and overall stories for the muses. Be advised that many of them cover triggering topics. If that’s not your cup of tea, or if you prefer a more faithful-to-canon FFXII portrayal and experience, this blog is probably not for you. I do my best to tag all major triggers in my thread replies and heacanon posts. }}
RP SCHEDULE:
(Note: “Free” nights are when I’m busiest. I may not be on at all, or I may use those days as spillover for the blogs scheduled immediately before or after them, if time permits.)
SUNDAY & MONDAY:
(FREE)
TUESDAY:
@thenexusofsouls (multimuse blog - current muse list)
WEDNESDAY:
(FREE)
THURSDAY:
@tarnishedxknight (Final Fantasy XII multimuse blog - current muse list)
FRIDAY:
(FREE)
SATURDAY: (These blogs will alternate by group every other week!)
Group 1
@armed-and-alxne, (Luther Donovan, Red Widow)
Group 2
@freewillacquired (Matt Addison / Nemesis, Resident Evil)
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{out of dalmasca} Welp, I was a bit slow tonight and I've got a bunch of things still to do, but it's getting late (or early, heh) and I need to call it. Next week I'm suspending my usual rp schedule for work but leaving this blog open from Mon to Fri (7/6-7/10). My summer class starts Mon, but when time does allow, I'll focus on getting caught up here. I've got so much muse for everyone here, it's just a matter of finding the time to write.
Tomorrow (7/4) I have family obligations, but some of them were canceled due to extreme heat, so I'm not sure how much time I'll have to write, if any. In light of that, I've bumped Luther to Sun (7/5). So yeah, tomorrow I'm off, Sun is Luther's blog, and then starting Mon I'll randomly work here as I have time. That's the plan so far! Goodnight for now! =)
“Noah, sweetheart…” Wanda could see the exhaustion clear as day on his face. How he was even standing now was a mystery, but she wasn’t going to let him lose any more sleep. “I’ve told the others that we won’t be joining them in training today. You need your rest and whether you like it or not… that’s what we’re going to do. I don’t want you to end up collapsing. So will you come and lay with me? Let me hold you?”
Noah was no stranger to going without decent sleep for days at a time. It was not an advisable or healthy thing for a person to become accustomed to, and yet he had been made so, through many years of paranoia, distrust, and stress. He was most used to doing it because of necessity, for some special mission in his own native world, not... because he couldn't handle life. But here in this time where everything was strange and nothing made any sense, he found himself as a fish out of water, unable to deal with even the smallest things without flying into the rage or falling into a depression. Wanda had helped him immensely, and her patience for him seemed to know no end, but... every now and then he still fell victim to those voices in his head that told him he wasn't good enough, he wasn't doing enough.
He really hadn't realized that he'd not slept in three days. Time seemed to run together, especially when he fell out of touch with people and things, retreating inside his own mind. It was not until Wanda approached him with that worried expression upon her face and told him she'd told everyone else they wouldn't be training today that he realized something was wrong. Noah had been about to ask her why she had done that, when Wanda told him in no uncertain terms that he was resting today... and that was that.
For a moment, his brow furrowed in defiance, as it usually did when people spoke in an authoritative manner to him, but... this was Wanda, and so as soon as his defensiveness had mounted itself, it ebbed away just as quickly. His expression softened, and his lips had parted to tell her that he would only rest on one condition... if she would stay with him. But he didn't have to say it. She beat him to it by asking him to lay with her and to let her hold him.
His gaze lingered on hers for a moment before it dropped, and in time, he smiled a little. "Alright," he whispered, knowing he was too exhausted to argue, and that Wanda was far too persistent for him to contend with at the moment. "Your quarters or my own?" he asked. It mattered little to him, as long as Wanda would stay close and help chase away his thoughts of home, Larsa, and all else he had lost...
As Noah followed Wanda to her room, he already felt himself beginning to relax a little bit. Her presence and the promise of being able to be quietly alone with her were enough to begin to sooth him, even as upset as he'd been. There really hadn't been too many people in his life who had been able to do that for him, and right now, Wanda was the only one he had left. Basch had burned his bridges with him, and Drace was gone, so this time, Noah wanted to make sure he didn't lose Wanda. if he lost another person he loved and was very close to, he felt he might truly fall apart beyond repair.
They had, indeed, come a long way from the first time they met or even from the early stages of their relationship. Noah was so comfortable with Wanda now, that he trusted her implicitly. There was no more flinching at her touch, and with her care of him and infinite patience, he was slowly learning to be more open with her. Vulnerability was terrifying for Noah, but Wanda was teaching him that it was safe to be so around her.
Once he was in her arms, his last bit of guard fell away and he closed his eyes, giving himself over completely to her love and affection. Without her comfort, he might have gone insane by now in this time period... or worse. He sighed in contentment, feeling her rub his back and play with his hair. Both were immense comforts to him. And when she began to hum, he smiled, thinking it a lovely sound.
"Do you? It is only with you that I am able to find that peace," Noah said, idly shifting against her, wanting her to know just how much she did for him. "I do not know... if I deserve it or not... but I do know... that you sometimes are able to make me feel as though I just might..." he said before sleep finally claimed him. He drifted off, and before long, his regular breathing and slight snore let Wanda know that she'd been successful in getting the restless former Judge Magister to finally get some sleep.
Another Time, Another Place (A Hollow Universe In Space) || closed with tarnishedxknight
@tarnishedxknight continued from here
The Guardians stood there, letting Captain Basch formally introduce them to King Raminas. They all then bowed respectfully except for Rocket, who only did so because Gamora pushed his head down. They trusted Basch for the most part, as he assured them no one would hurt them after telling them to leave their weapons at the ship. Quill and Gamora were the first ones to leave theirs; Drax didn't want to leave his knives, but did so after Mantis looked at him, while Rocket pulled a comical amount of retractable weapons from his pockets.
As they followed Basch, Mantis had stayed behind for a moment to approach Vossler. She felt much better after Munoh sent her some calm energy, and she smirked at the man. Suddenly, her hand was on his cheek, her antennae aglow. "Whenever you open your mouth to say something unkind, you will wail like a baby. Honestly, it might be more coherent than anything else you have said," she whispered. She patted his cheek twice as if to seal her whimsical behest, and hurried to follow the Guardians as Basch guided them through the palace of Rabanastre.
Quill straightened and cleared his throat to speak to the King. Mantis took his hand; Quill was a little confused, but he allowed it since he knew she wasn't feeling great.
"Your Majesty," he said, once again lowering his voice in an attempt to mirror Basch's formal tone and presence, hoping it would make the King like him more. "We come in peace. We thank you for your time, and we apologize for occupying one of your docks. I think I have–" He stopped talking rather suddenly, and swallowed. "Uh... I think... I have..."
What was happening was that Mantis was frantically reading his thoughts as he spoke, using her powers to interrupt him because he was going to say he had the perfect stuff to make up for it, wanting to show the King some Terran music with the Zune. While Terran music was excellent, Mantis knew not everyone would like it, nor find it an acceptable form of apology.
"I have no excuse," Quill said instead. "And I have to... shut up... now."
Ashelia's heart was beating so fast as she followed Basch to her father's quarters. it wasn't as though she didn't know the way on her own, but her mind was elsewhere, and it was nice to just focus on him in front of her rather than having to think about putting one foot in front of the other. But then, Basch had always been a such a comfort to her, helping to steady her whenever her emotions got the better of her.
Caelen felt so helpless. He knew that he was not going to be able to be the king his father expected of him, and with Raminas on his deathbed and Ashelia about to be married off and sent to live in Nabradia, Caelen knew he would be utterly alone. And incapable. And afraid. And—... No, he mustn't think about himself right now. He must set aside his own fear and panic in favor of being there for his father.
Munoh knew their dear friend well enough to know exactly where his mind was at right now. While they didn't want to take away all his fears for the future, for it was that fear that would help him decide further action, they did want to take away the urgency. Caelen did not need to dwell on the future right now. He needed to be in the moment. And so, Munoh simply removed the frantic obsessiveness with which Caelen was fussing over his own fears enough for him to feel comfortable setting them aside for now and focusing on the present. For good measure, they also filled him with a warm and supportive feeling, almost like a hug, but from the inside out, and with magic instead of an embrace.
Caelen had been upset enough times and comforted by Munoh many of those times to know what their friend's magic felt like. The moment he began to calm down, to feel better despite the situation at hand, Caelen looked up at Munoh, smiling. "Thank you, dear friend."
"'Tis no trouble at all," Munoh simply replied.
Once Ashelia had burst into the room, she seemed to stop and stare at her father in his bed as though the man had passed already, her face contorting into such a look of extreme worry and sadness. hearing Mantis say that Raminas was awake, Ashelia slowly approached the bed as Caelen moved one chair over to allow her to sit closer. He had spent time with his father, had said his piece to him. He wanted his baby sister to have that same time with him.
Basch stayed by the door, having not been dismissed outright but not feeling he belonged in this family affair. Though he cared for Raminas like a father figure as well as a king, he was only a servant, after all, and not really a member of the family.
Tears came almost immediately, and Ashelia flew right into apologies. "I'm sorry, father! I do not know how I did it with Basch! I have tried to call upon it, to grasp hold it, but it eludes me! If you'd only let me study magic... maybe... I could have..." She stopped talking just then, for Caelen had laid his handon her shoulder and Raminas had lifted his hand to her cheek.
Caelen knew that his sister spoke of the time she had cured Basch of the nethicite poisoning he'd been afflicted with in Landis. She'd been about twelve at the time, and it had been an accident. She'd been so upset over Basch's decline that she'd wept over his bed and wished so hard that he could get better. In that moment, she'd cast a spell without even realizing it. She'd woke up many hours later to see that Basch was fully restored. Dynast magic sometimes skipped people or generations. Caelen had never had any magical ability, nor had Raminas, but Ashelia, it seemed, had a natural ability for it. But Raminas hadn't wanted Ashe to study magic, or history, or the sword, opting instead to "protect" her. As a result, whatever natural magical ability she had remained unrefined and unpredictable.
The old king rubbed Ashe's cheek with his thumb, where a smudge of dirt lay after she'd been climbing through bushes in the royal gardens to find hidden lizards. He chuckled weakly. "How dirty you are... my daughter..." he said, though it was not a criticism. No, it had been said affectionately. "You look a mess... in pants, no less..." he said, smiling as his gaze ran over her outfit.
"I'm sorry..." Ashelia whispered, bowing her head.
"No..." Raminas said, tilting her face upwards. "It is I... who am sorry. I never wanted... to stifle... who you were, child. But... I had Dalmasca's future... to think about..."
"Father, you needn't apologize..." Ashelia said.
"I know... you do not wish to marry him," Raminas said, his expression becoming a bit pained, but not from physical pain, "or to leave your homeland..."
"But I will. Because it is what I must do. Do not worry, father, I will go through with it. For Dalmasca's sake," Ashelia said, feeling in that moment that it was easy to say the words, eve if her heart was not in them. She could promise her father than much on his deathbed, and she could recognize the need Dalmasca had for the alliance her marriage to Lord Rasler would bring. "Shh... do not worry about that now," she said, squeezing his hand. "Just focus on getting better."
"It may be my time, child..." Raminas disagreed.
"No..." Ashelia said. "I refuse to believe that."
Basch bowed his head. He could feel his own grief already creeping in, but more than that, his heart broke for Ashelia and Caelen. They would take the loss of their father very hard...
Being in a different time period had already taken a heavy toll on Gylfie's mental well-being, but being denied work sent her over the edge.
Only the gods knew how long she had spent pacing her quarters like a trapped hound - her body drawn taut as her heart pounded against her ribs. Her breathing had been ragged. Unsteady. Her mind locked in her own panic as it dredged up old memories she'd rather forget. Memories of when Takrin had barred her from service, despite having been cleared to return to duty. Memories of when she had been cornered and forced to wed, and memories of the abuse hurled at her in passing when Noctus - considerate, gods-damned Noctus - used his status to push her back into the military. To be denied work was to be caged. It was to be controlled, to be ridiculed, to be broken--
It was late when she left, and she had only one need in mind as she went straight for the bar. It wasn't as though anyone was guarding it, as it was open to all who lived at the compound, and... well, would anyone actually notice if a decanter went missing? The bourbon wasn't the same as she was used to, but it went down smoothly when she tried it. And if it worked, then who was she to complain? It was better than nothing, and she figured her chosen father would appreciate a familiar enough liquor than a cheap ale. It burned the back of her throat like his bourbon used to, though, too late, did she realize she hadn't eaten. One drink left her mind feeling rather fuzzy, but she didn't care. It wasn't like getting drunk would risk her career when she no longer had one.
With her prize in hand, she went straight for her chosen father's quarters, and only half-realized there was a chance that he wasn't going to be alone. A part of her wondered if she wanted Drace to see what sort of state she was in, but... bah, she couldn't bring herself to care. Her life had fallen apart, and she had little left to lose. Gabranth would understand, and... Drace hadn't wavered from his side. Why would she lose either of them now? This was far from the worst thing she had ever done, and they... they wouldn't leave her, too. Right?
Right?
The door opened in time to prevent Gylfie from spiraling once more, and she held up the decanter with a small, crooked smile. As steady as she stood, her eyes revealed she... wasn't quite herself, and the tension in her shoulders made it all the more clear something was wrong.
If the faint little whiff of bourbon on her breath didn't make it apparent.
"Care to share for old times' sake?"
(( @disillusionedjudge - for Gabranth's mcu verse! And for Drace's, if she wanted to join, heh))
@disillusionedjudge
Being denied the opportunity to work with the Avengers had angered and triggered Gabranth beyond measure. He had spent two decades working so hard, carefully curating his persona and reputation, and perfecting his martial and magical skills... only to have these pathetic excuses for warriors tell him he was not good enough? That he did not pass their requirements and standards? Gabranth wondered how quickly all of them would have perished in Ivalice. How long would it have taken to realize that they were in way over their heads...? A week? A day? A few hours? The thought amused him, but it could not take away the sting of insult at the very idea that he was not up to the task of battle.
Drace... had just had a feeling that night. She had been alone in her room when she'd had the overwhelming urge to check on Gabranth. She would never go so far as to say that she was clarivoyant or had any sort of gift of supernatural sight whatsoever, but... but... more often than not, when she had feelings about things, they turned out to be merited. So, she had grabbed her mug of freshly brewed tea, left her room, and gone to knock on his door. She found him thoroughly moody and grumpy and his room an utter mess, confirming in her mind that it was better he not be left alone this night.
Setting her tea aside, she tidied up the room a bit for him while he skulked about, going off on an animated tyrade complaining about how he was denied clearance for field work yet again, and once he had quieted himself and his room was mostly back together again, Drace turned to him. Her hands found her hips and she smiled. "Now, then. Are you quite done?" she asked him.
Gabranth pouted slightly. Drace knew him far too well and he loved hated that. "For now," he grumbled.
"Good. Let us sit down and chat for a while. 'Twill be good of us. May I get you some tea? Coffee? Food?" she offered.
"Bourbon," he said.
"Nay, there'll be none of that. Not with you in this mood," she said, smirking at him, though if he had insisted she would not have barred him completely. She could advise out of concern, but trying to control him was not what she was trying to do.
Gabranth frowned, but for now, he did not argue. He sat himself down in a chair with a forceful huff.
Drace climbed onto his bed, sitting facing him, cross-legged, with her mug of tea cradled in both hands.
For the better part of an hour, they talked about Ivalice. About their comrades, random events, some trying things that had happened and some silly ones. About... anything. It felt good, to remember their world. Remembering it meant that it still lived within them, and it was a comfort to them both. They had been laughing —yes, outright laughing— about some idiotic thing Ghis had done once, when there came a knock at the door.
Drace looked to it. "Do you want me to—"
"No. I will answer it," Gabranth said, hoisting himself up from the sinkhole of the very plush chair cushion he'd been lounging in and going to the door.
Drace stayed put, but she did watch, just in case she needed to get involved. The moment she heard Gylfie's voice, she smiled, happy that it had been her and not one of the Avengers... or the Dalmascans. That is, until Gylfie produced a decanter. Drace groaned.
"Of course," Gabranth said with a nod and a smile as Gylfie presented him with a very welcome offer of whatever was in that decanter she was holding up. "We shan't be drinking alone, if that is alright with you," he said to her, gesturing towards Drace. He let Gylfie come in the room before closing and locking the door. It was no one's business what any of them said or did in there, as far as he was concerned.
"Good evening, Ynarra. Or should I say night at this point...?" Drace said, not really having kept track of the time. She still hadn't acclimated well enough to being in this time period to have her usual schedule all set in stone as it once had been. "Ah, 'twould seem you have already sampled a bit of your offering, from the look of that grin on your face," she lightly teased. This is about to get interesting, she thought with equal parts apprehension and amusement. "Would there happen to be bourbon in that decanter, by any chance? Gabranth was asking me for that very form of self-medication just a short while ago. I told him he ought not to have any with the foul mood he was in," she said, tossing him a little smirk.
"Would you rather I did not have any?" he asked.
Drace sipped her tea and lowered the mug. "Would you actually refrain if I asked it of you?" she challenged.
"Yes," Gabranth said, sincerely and without hesitation.
Drace's playfulness left her for a moment as she stared at him. She had expected another joke thrown back at her, not a serious response, and the idea that he would refuse what she knew he wanted so badly actually gave her paused. In some strange way, she felt... what was the word for it? Honored? Flattered? Something in that vein. He did not have to listen to her, she was well aware, and that made it mean more to her. It also made it impossible for her to now enforce her restriction on him. "Oh, go ahead," she sighed, waving her hand dismissively, though she smiled again.
"You are welcome to join us, you know," he said as he went to his little kitchen nook to get a couple of glasses for himself and Gylfie.
"Nay, thank you very much. I've my tea here, and that'll do quite well for me. Besides, someone must remain sober to peel you both off the carpet when all is said and done," she joked.
Gabranth threw Gylfie about as playful a smile as he ever managed to anyone as he brought the glasses to a small table and pulled up another chair for her. "Come. Sit," he welcomed her, gesturing towards the chair. He poured himself a drink before sliding the decanter over to Gylfie. "So what is keeping you up this night?"
"Aye, you look a bit tense, if you do not mind my saying so," Drace noticed.
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Adalia wandered up to where Basch was sat, tugging at his leg. “Daddy…Will you tell me a story? I can’t sleep,” the youngster asked, eyes wide.
@illbringthechaosmagic
They had just put the twins down for the night, and thought they might have some time to themselves. However, Basch and Wanda knew how unpredictable their little ones could be sometimes, and it was not long before little Adalia wandered into the room, just as Basch was giving Wanda a hug, asking for a story. He gave Wanda a knowing smile before he turned to his daughter, hooking his hands under her arms and lifting her as he went to a nearby chair. Sitting her down on his knee, he bounced her a couple times.
"A story, eh? Aye, I think I can manage that. Well now, what sort of story do you wish to hear?" he asked, though he probably already knew. Adalia loved stories with knights and princesses in them, and castles and mythical creatures, and all sorts of things from Basch's native time. He... wished she could have seen all those things with her own eyes, but for now, all he could do was tell he stories about them.
Pietro found Noah sitting alone, sitting himself down in front of him. “Mama said… daddy is gone. But you’re not gone, you’re here. Why she say you’re gone?”
@illbringthechaosmagic
Sometimes Noah just needed to be alone to think. He hadn't meant to detach from the family, but when an introspective mood hit, he just needed to get it out. He sat in a comfortable chair, hand rubbing his is as his elbow rested on the arm of the chair, peering out a window. He'd been lost in thought when he heard someone come in the room. Turning, he saw little Pietro come and sit down on the floor at his feet. What came out of his mouth made Noah almost panic. What was he supposed to say... and why had Wanda let it slip that their father was dead? Weren't the twins too young yet to tell them?
"Well... it is a bit complicated to explain, Pietro," Noah said, "and someday, your mother and I shall tell you everything. But for right now, all you need know is that I am here for you, and your sister, and your mother. You needn't worry. You all mean the world to me, and I love you very much." Noah wasn't usually given to such speeches, but he knew the boy was curious and observant, just like Larsa was, and not giving him any answer at all would have made thing so much worse.
@tarnishedxknight - Noah felt completely useless in this situation. His brother was long dead, and he knew the woman he loved would much prefer to have him here with her instead. There was nothing he could do about that, or about the resurfaced grief that had followed the births of his niblings. Whatever progress Wanda had made in the months following Basch's death seemed now to be erased. Noah knew she longed to show Basch his children, but of course there was no way to do so. The way she sat up with the twins, beside them, even while they slept, left Noah feeling as though nothing he could do could make this better for ether of them. He didn't like to show his grief, and he couldn't help her with hers, much as he had tried. Going over to where she sat by the twins' cradles, he laid his hand on her shoulder. "Wanda... you are of no use to them this exhausted," he said as gently as his usually gruff, cold voice could manage. "It has been three days. You must sleep. Come..." he said, ready to help her to bed, if she let him.
@tarnishedxknight
Wanda had been finding it hard, dealing with the grief of losing Basch that had resurfaced after the twins had been born. She had been sure that she was over the worst of it, that she wouldn't feel this low now that she had Noah there. Yet it was only after the twins were born that it hit her hard in the chest, the realisation that her sweet angels would never meet their father. She didn't dare say it to Noah, not wanting for him to feel less than in the situation. After all, he was the one here caring for her, looking after Basch's kids as if they were his own when he didn't have to. And so, she would spend most nights sitting by their cradles and talking softly to them, telling them how proud their father would be of them. It was one of these nights when she had felt Noah's hand on her shoulder, heard his words. She turned to look at him, guilt washing over her. "I'm sorry... I hadn't realised," she whispered, "and I... I am sorry that I've been distant. I don't mean to be..."
Noah felt badly for upsetting Wanda, but he did not know how to get past his own insecurities. All through his childhood and youth, he was compared to Basch. His brother was always preferred, by their parents, by friends, by other people in their village... It was a sore spot for him, and seeing how much he was missed by everyone after his death, and how sad Wanda was over losing him, only made Noah feel more... unwanted. Beyond that, he could not understand how she could love him if she had loved Basch. One didn't change preferences in partners that drastically, did they?
"I did not say you were, I was simply warning you that I would never fit that mold," Noah said, though it seemed the damage had been done. Now she'll realize she doesn't want me. She'll understand what a cruel person I am. "That is what I do, Wanda... I hurt those I love and then I get them killed," Noah said, already starting to shut down rather than face the fact that he had upset Wanda.
Noah didn't think he was welcome in the bed with Wanda anymore, so as she got into it, he sat in a chair and immediately fell into a brooding state. It was not all that long, however, before he spoke. "I am sorry, Wanda..." he whispered. "When... Basch left me to take care of our mother after Landis was destroyed, he was all she could speak about. 'Basch this, and Basch that. Where is Basch? Go get Basch. I don't want you... I want him.' And I heard that every day for a year." He was quiet for a second before he added, "Basch... was her favorite. Basch was everyone's favorite."
His tone was not bitter or angry, it was actually rather vulnerable. he was trying to explain why he'd said what he had, where his head had been at. Or once, he was actually fighting not to shut down completely on her, but rather to be a bit open with her instead. "It felt like that was happening again... and I..." He trailed off, not finishing the sentence. "But obviously it is not, so... I am sorry for letting my own demons hurt you."
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{out of dalmasca} Yeeeah, tonight was a total fail. I've been sitting here for, oh let's see... about 7 hours... trying to get my ass in gear to write, but instead I'm watching TV, playing Minecraft, browsing my emails... you know, various things a brain does when it wants to do everything except the task at hand. *epic heaaddesk* I have so much muse to be here, and yet I just couldn't make it work. I really feel like my weekly meds mess with my focus. Because Thurs nights are always terrible for my creativity. The intense heat is compounding everything too. Plus I never seem to get much sleep Weds nights, so I'm sure that a factor. But anyway... I'm sure tomorrow night (7/3) will be more productive as Fri nights usually are, so... I think at this point I'm just gonna realize my limits and get some sleep. Tomorrow I will definitely get things done!
{out of dalmasca} Wait, to the person who just sent me the anonymous ask from Larsa... which of my muses was that intended for? And when you say he's "two years older," do you mean that this is meant to take place after the end of the game, or...? Also what blog should I tag when I answer it? Keep in mind, if this is a new person, that I'm not accepting any new writing partners at this time, given that I have trouble keeping up with the activity I already have. Not trying to be mean, just trying to not take on more activity than I can handle right now.
“Basch,” Wanda was quick to take his hand, tugging him gently towards their quarters, “it’s been three days and you’ve barely rested. I can’t let you keep going like this…” She paused, looking over his face, “what’s going on?”
Had he been staring off at nothing again? Given Wanda's reaction, Basch guessed that he had been. He honestly could not remember the last time he slept. His eyes burned and their lids felt so heavy, while his tongue was dry and his throat parched. The days were blending together, and although Wanda was a constant and miraculous source of love and support, even she could not prevent Basch's thoughts from finding him again.
He did not fight her at all when she took his hand and began leading him into their shared quarters. His mind could not really even process what she was doing, let along resist her. Basch was much too tired for that. Going on like this...? Going on...? It took a moment for her questions to register, but once they did, Basch gave her a weak and softly dismissive smile combined with a small shake of his head. "'Tis nothing, love," he said, his voice barely above a whisper because he hadn't the energy to make it louder. "I am fine."
Even as he spoke the words, he knew she would not believe them. Hadn't he promised her that he would work on being more open with her, and on not bottling everything up inside? He was so tired... but he had to try. "Weeks, have I been here. Months. And yet... it is only now, in recent days, that it has dawned upon me that... that I truly shall never see Dalmasca again." And just like that, his eyes flooded with tears. his throat and jaw tensed, as though he sought to physically restrain his emotion, though it did not work. "I see her still... in my dreams... and it cuts me deeper than any wound of war ever could. So if I do not sleep, then I need not remember all that I left behind. All that I abandoned..."
She had far more faith in him than he did in himself, apparently, for Basch really did believe he would be lost without Wanda. Especially after the shock of waking up in this time period, having lost everything and everyone he cared about. Without her love and attention, Basch's mind would no doubt have wandered to a terrible place by now. Where that would have left him, he didn't want to think about. "You always bring me such comfort, Wanda. Always. I owe you so very much that I scarcely think I will e'er be able to fully repay you for it all. 'Tis I who am lucky to have you, my lady, I assure you," Basch insisted.
"Pain of my own making, both through my reckless decisions as a youth and my misguided assumption that somehow isolating myself could atone for them all," Basch mused. "You have helped me to realize that there are far more constructive forms of atonement, and that denying myself in life serves little purpose. Ne'er before have I felt so understood by another. That is how I know that I have found someone truly special in you. You, who have freed me from my self-imposed emotional prison."
Perhaps he had learned to seek Wanda out in the future if ever he was having trouble sleeping or working through his pain. She had certainly helped him right now, so maybe he should consider involving her more often. The only thing holding him back a little from that was the desire not to lay all his problems and burdens on her, lest it bring her down with him. But that was part of being open with her and trusting her as his partner, was it not?
Her question, though, gave him pause. "I am not certain if it would help," he said, thinking about it for a moment. "As wonderful as it would be to see Dlamasca again, I would know that it was only an illusion, and that might leave me more melancholy than before. I am open to trying it, my lady, if you were so inclined as to offer such."
"Aye," Basch said with a nod as Wanda supposed his body would want to rest now that he had released everything he'd had bottled up. "I think it is quite possible I could sleep now... if you were to stay with me, even for a little while. I know I would sleep well if you were nearby." He smiled at her, looking at her so gratefully. She was his whole world, and he knew he didn't tell her that enough. He was learning, though, getting better each day at sharing how he felt inside.
"Who are you? I do not believe we have met." (for Xenos because reasons)
It had been Gabranth's duty to show the Emperor's new sage around the palace and the capital city, helping to familiarize her with important locations she may need to know during her stay. If she was to assist His Eminence with war strategies and grant him advice on what direction to take the Empire in the future, she would need to know what was going on there. Thus, one of the stops on their tour was the Draklor Laboratory.
The Laboratory was a massive seventy-floor building within which all sorts of research important to the Empire was conducted. Everything from airship design, to weapons development, and magical pursuits were studied there, and at some of the topmost floors were the offices and lab of Dr. Cidolfus Demen Bunansa, known by most as Dr. Cid. He was not only the head researcher of Draklor Laboratory, he was also the chief writer of science, technology, and magical policies for the Archadian Imperial Army, which funded the Laboratory. Dr. Cid was also one of Vayne Solidor's main go-tos for secret nethicite research serving the prince's agenda.
Gabranth took Wanda up to Dr. Cid's offices, but the man was not there. This was typical, for Cid was always something of a free spirit, and he often went out in search of materials for his experiments. He took Wanda on to see Cid's laboratory anyway, explaining to her that this was where the Empire was attempting to safely study the effects of nethicite. Even as he said it, though, he scarcely believed his own words. Cid was anything but safe. If rumors were true, and Gabranth had at least some evidence in support of them, then Cid's might was slowly beginning to slip. Regardless, Gabranth gave Wanda a superficial look at the lab, for she mostly just needed to know where it was, in case she needed to talk to Cid at some point, and not so much its intricate inner workings.
When she seemed to stop by a rather ornate looking set of double doors - doors with a strong magical ward for a locking system - Gabranth was soon tasked with explaining that, no, Cid did not experiment on living beings. His research was mostly chemical, magical, and technological. He wondered why Wanda would fixate on the doors and ask such a question, but none of his spies or his own reconnaissance had indicated that Cid was experimenting with live creatures. "It may be a storage room for nethicite or other highly dangerous magical components," he explained, feeling the Mist within him stirring, and not just because of the magical lock on the doors. In his mind, that was the only explanation that made sense.
Oh, but there was a living being inside the room, and he was quite tortured, frightened, and sad. His emotion was so thick and heavy, it came off him in waves to one who was even mildly empathetic like Wanda. Even through a magically locked door, the imprisoned and enslaved being Xenos gave off a heartbreaking and desperate amount of suffering that permeated the room and even beyond it. His magical power also branched out into his surrounding environment, even magically bound such as he was.
When Wanda returned later without Gabranth, that same energy and emotion was apparent the moment she got within the near vicinity of the doors. For someone with magic as unique and versatile as Wanda, the magical locking glyph placed on the door was certainly no match. Once the doors were unlocked and opened, a sorrowful sight met her eyes.
The room was bare, sterile, with no sign of warmth or kindness. A marble floor, two pillars made of a different type of stone, and a man kneeling between them, slumped where he sat, a mess of chains tethering him to the pillars. He was barefoot and shirtless, wearing only a pair of linen pants and a tattered cloak, the hood of which was draped over his head. His wrists were shackled, connected to chains that were rooted in the stone pillars on either side of him. Those shackles were then also chained to a third shackle around his neck. Small glowing glyphs of warding, suppression, and control glowed on each of the shackles.
When Wanda entered the room, Xenos slowly lifted his head, feeling her presence even if he hadn't heard her first. Her magic was significant, he could feel it, but he didn't know who she was. Was she here to hurt him? Probably. Everyone else here was. He shakily rose to his feet and backed away slowly, until the chains pulled taut and he couldn't go any further. Trembling and a bit folded in on himself, Xenos stood there, clearly afraid of Wanda.
He was very lean, probably too thin for a man of his height. And there was an unnatural blackness to his hands and feet, continuing up his arms and likely his legs too if they could've been seen under his pants, until it brightened into a bronze skin tone. Red glowing eyes could be seen peeking from underneath his hood.
Her question, though... was strange. Usually people just came in and started ordering him around, inflicting pain with magic if he did not comply. They didn't usually want to chat with him, or ask his identity. Did she not know who he was? Was she not told? If she didn't know, then why was she here? Maybe she wasn't here to hurt him after all.
Xenos slowly moved to one of the pillars, his left arm being harshly pulled in the direction of the other pillar by the short chain even as his right hand softly touched the pillar before him. He huddled against the stone, partially obscuring himself with it, feeling safer when he wasn't standing entirely out in the open. "Xenos..." he answered her, his voice a raspy whisper from lack of use. "I... am Xenos..."
Xenos wasn't sure he would ever truly feel like himself again, as long as he was trapped inside a human body. but Wanda was right about one thing. Focusing on the warmer, brighter, and more beautiful powers he once had would help him to feel a lot better than he did right now. He nodded and smiled at her words, grateful for the way Wanda seemed to know just what to say to bring his spirits up. "As l-long as... I have y-you... I kn-now I w-will... be al-r-right," he said, for he had definitely imprinted on her at this point, and he didn't want to leave her side.
Pietro was starting to think he was probably the least combat capable person of this group, given the company Wanda was currently keeping. Nevertheless, he was still ready to protect her at any cost. At least, if he couldn't defeat opponents, he could mess with them, steal things from them, or otherwise avoid capture or injury with how fast he was. That had to count for something, he figured.
Gabranth wasn't sure Wanda could do anything about his nethicite poisoning, but if she was willing to try, then... why not? He felt like it couldn't possibly leave him any worse off than he already was right now. "Perhaps, though I do not wish you to tax yourself too much," he noted.
"Mayhap we ought to ask your friend, Munoh," Drace suggested. "Or Xenos."
Xenos perked up, hearing his name, wondering why Drace would say it.
"Dynast magic originates either from the Occuria or from the deifacted nethicite they gift to their champions. They would know best what magic could alleviate the symptoms of nethicite poisoning," she explained.
"C-can-not do anym-more," Xenos said, shaking his head. "P-po-wer l-lost."
"Can Munoh?" Drace asked.
Xenos shrugged. "M-may-be?" But just then he seemed nervous about something. "M-might b-be... too m-much... of an in-ter-fer-ence," he warned. As Gabranth started to cough, though, he wished he could help more, but Drace and Wanda were right. He was physically a Hume now, and there was no telling was absorbing that much Mist would do to him.
Pietro watched as Gabranth coughed and got out of the chair he was lounging in, gesturing for the man to sit down if he wanted. He ultimately decided to sit down at Wanda's suggestion.
"If the tea is ready, he ought to drink something," Drace said. "That oft helps."
"Maybe he should stay here with Wanda," Pietro said. "If he gets real bad, maybe she can do something, yes?"
"It makes little sense to have all but one of us in the same room," Drace protested.
"I can stay with you," Pietro said. "Can't I?"
"If you wish," Drace said.
"But y-you w-want him here. No?" Xenos asked Wanda, assuming that she would want to keep her brother close after just getting him returned to her after his death.
{out of dalmasca} Alright, I know I didn't get all that much done, but at least it was something, haha. Today was a bit of a tired day, but the muses are still strong. I can try to come back Sun night (6/28) to do a bit more if time allows. Otherwise, I'll be back on Thurs (7/2) as usual. Tomorrow (6/27) I'll be over on Matt/Nemmy's blog. For now, I sleep. Goodnight! =)
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@tarnishedxknight - Noah felt completely useless in this situation. His brother was long dead, and he knew the woman he loved would much prefer to have him here with her instead. There was nothing he could do about that, or about the resurfaced grief that had followed the births of his niblings. Whatever progress Wanda had made in the months following Basch's death seemed now to be erased. Noah knew she longed to show Basch his children, but of course there was no way to do so. The way she sat up with the twins, beside them, even while they slept, left Noah feeling as though nothing he could do could make this better for ether of them. He didn't like to show his grief, and he couldn't help her with hers, much as he had tried. Going over to where she sat by the twins' cradles, he laid his hand on her shoulder. "Wanda... you are of no use to them this exhausted," he said as gently as his usually gruff, cold voice could manage. "It has been three days. You must sleep. Come..." he said, ready to help her to bed, if she let him.
@tarnishedxknight
Wanda had been finding it hard, dealing with the grief of losing Basch that had resurfaced after the twins had been born. She had been sure that she was over the worst of it, that she wouldn't feel this low now that she had Noah there. Yet it was only after the twins were born that it hit her hard in the chest, the realisation that her sweet angels would never meet their father. She didn't dare say it to Noah, not wanting for him to feel less than in the situation. After all, he was the one here caring for her, looking after Basch's kids as if they were his own when he didn't have to. And so, she would spend most nights sitting by their cradles and talking softly to them, telling them how proud their father would be of them. It was one of these nights when she had felt Noah's hand on her shoulder, heard his words. She turned to look at him, guilt washing over her. "I'm sorry... I hadn't realised," she whispered, "and I... I am sorry that I've been distant. I don't mean to be..."
Noah didn't know where he stood with Wanda, not really. He knew he loved her, but when she said she loved him, he wondered if she wasn't just telling herself that because she knew it was the only option she had since Basch was gone forever. Or, was it that he looked so much like Basch, that really she was seeing him when she looked at him? He wanted to ask her who she saw when she looked at him, someone who looked like Basch... or him? But he could never get out the words, for fear he would upset her.
His gaze fell a bit as she tried to reassure him that she did love him, even as she said how much she missed Basch. "It would be..." he replied, "...if it was truly me you wanted. I cannot be him, Wanda. Even if I wished to be. If you've any notion of molding me into him, I can tell you now that it is not possible. He and I were as different as night and day. I feel as though all I can do is disappoint you with how unlike Basch I am, and hurt you with how much my face reminds you of him."
As she asked him to sit wit her instead of the twins, Noah glanced over at little Adalia and Pietro. They were sleeping soundly, oblivious to the world and resting comfortably as all newborns ought to be. It didn't appear as though either of them needed him at present. Turning back to Wanda, he nodded. "Anything you need," he said with more vulnerability than he wanted to project, revealing that, despite his insecurities as to Wanda's feelings of him, he was still very much devoted to her.