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trying on a metaphor

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â

Love Begins
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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@tardismini
Instagram @hannahhillam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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This is the Lucky Ace. Reblog to recieve a wad of cash that is oddly specific to your current needs.
I reblogged this shit two days ago yâall⌠what kinda sorcery is this. Oddly specific too âŚ. Iâll take it tho đ¤Ż
I think I did it wrong
This might beâŚinteresting. though, you gotta admit, the card looks kinda cool.
Hey Iâm broke as a joke.and I need likeâŚ10 dollars
iâm this close to a breakdown
John Mulaney, a true ADHD icon
I love how he gave this bit at an autism benefit because it is also a heavy Autism Moodâ˘
This is the most relatable thing Iâve ever seen.
TRANSCRIPT:
JOHN MULANEY: I normally donât notice people. I zone out constantly. Have you ever zoned out for a few minutes? Iâve been zoned out since 2014.
AUDEINCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: I just - all day long, I wander into traffic walking like Charlie Chaplin, listening to a podcast while thinking about a different podcast.Â
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: I can zone out anywhere - I was at the doctorâs office, he was reading me the results of a blood test, it was important I listened, and I zoned out! I was like, ânah, Iâm gonna stare at the wall and think my thoughtsâ.
AUDIENCE MEMBER WHOOPS
MULANEY: I was like, âhuh. None of the Beatles had moustaches⌠but then one day, all of them had moustaches.â
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: âThatâs weird, I canât think of a time a group has done thatâ. Some people in my life donât want me to zone out as much - they want me to focus, and they want me to be in the moment, and they want me to do this by meditating. I donât know if youâve ever tried meditating, but Iâve been trying it. This is how you meditate, okay? You sit on the floor with your back perfectly straight, which I hate more than ISIS -
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: I donât like sitting up straight! Alright?! Itâs never gonna happen! If meditating was sitting hunched over on the toilet with your elbow on your knee while kind of looking at your phone, Iâd be the Dalai Lama. Â
AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS
MULANEY: I donât like sitting up straight. So you sit up straight, and you breathe, and this helps you stay in the moment. Donât bother! The moment is mediocre at best!
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: I mean, itâs fine. Letâs all try right now - letâs all be in the moment, in silence, right now. [A HALF-SECOND PAUSE] Sucked, right? Not fun at all!Â
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: That was boring! You gotta zone out! You have an imagination! You have a movie theatre in your brain that plays fake arguments that you win.
AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS
MULANEY: Have you ever just been sitting there thinking about something for twenty, twenty-five minutes, and all of a sudden youâre like âoh my god, Iâm driving!â and you remember? Youâre like -
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: âIâm going seventy-five miles an hour! I have been for a while! I couldâve changed so many lives!â Sometimes, my wife - I have this wife - sheâll be like, âare you watching the road?â and Iâm always like, âI am looking through the windshield.â
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY:Â âAnd Iâm not gonna hit anyone, but no. Iâm thinking about the Beatles.â

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in my head theres a little mouse wearing a little apron and she makes all my emotions
she needs to read a fuckin recipe this bitch is just making a MESS
shes doing her best⌠maybe shed do better if you were nicer to her
making serotonin is the cooking equivalent to scrambling an egg and she canât even do that right smh
Hi Iâm Catifex and I want you to make your mouseâs work easier!
- This is a step by step on getting a therapist
- Need to find a therapist by location? Psychologytoday lets you search by city or zip code in the USA, Canada, or UK.Â
- Canât afford therapy? No insurance? Need low cost options? Here is a great list of ways to get help when money or insurance is an issue..
Reblogging this in the hopes that the image of a sweet little mouse doing her best to make my emotions will help me remember to be kinder to myself.
Definitely reblogging for the much more helpful concept of a helpful mouse doing her best for the sake of people who regularly hate on their brain then wonder why thatâs not working so well.
This just shocked me so much I started crying. As soon as you put it like that I realize how often I talk so horribly to myself. Iâm sorry mouse lady we can do better.
getting a note on a super old post
early game be like

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yesterday i read this article and it just made me so happy
I particularly loved this quote:
âWe are sure they would be good parents because they were so nice to their stone.â
I reblog this every time I see it, because itâs one of lifeâs hardest lessons.
To celebrate the release of Jurassic World, Buckyâs Bomb Yard is hosting a Dinosaur Egg Bath Bomb give-a-way! Our Dino Egg Bombs come in two colors(Blue and Green), are scented with peppermint and eucalyptus, and have toy dinosaurs inside! What youâll get in this give-a-way:
- Three Dinosaur Egg bombs of various sizes! Pictured in the top image, youâll get a large Dino Egg Bomb, a medium Dino Egg Bomb and a small Dino Egg Bomb!
This giveaway will run through Sunday June 14th, to be shipping out on Monday, to anyone in the United States(sorry to my followers overseas, shipping kicks my butt but I will be hosting worldwide give-a-ways in the near future!). To be eligible you must reblog this post and be following this tumblr account! Iâll contact the winner Sunday evening to get your address.
If youâd like to purchase your own Dino Egg Bombs, click HERE! Thanks and good luck everyone!
Donât forget to check out the Dino Egg giveaway!
Donât be late for work, but also get outta here cos I wanna pretend iâm a starfish and I need the whole bed to do that
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this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!
#this is a win-win situation#on one hand i can get money#on the other hand there is a tiny dog surrounded by money on my blog

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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You have been visited by the Chan of wealth, reblog this and you will have money come to you!
I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY AND LIKE 2 HOURS LATER THE WALLET I HAD LOST 6 HOURS AWAY FROM HOME THAT HAD MY DEBIT CARD AND LIKE 80 DOLLARS IN CASH WAS DELIVERED TO MY HOUSE WITH NO RETURN ADDRESS I CANT HELP BUT THINK IT WAS JACKIE CHAN WHO SENT IT GOD BLESS YOU JACKIE CHAN
Last time I did this it was payday so duh. Letâs see what youâve got this time, Chan.
Er, actually, about a minute after I hit reblog I got some very important (and positive) money-related news out of the blue. The system works, guys.
Why
This is demonstrating why you absolutely do not pour water on a grease fire.
holy shit
Okaaaay. If any of you actually have a grease fire in the kitchen put the lid on the pan. It will suffocate the flames. Donât pour water on it, and donât freak out. Cook safely!
Or throw flour on it to smother it.
/quick safety announcement
NO, DO NOT USE FLOUR, DO NOT USE FLOUR TO SMOTHER A FIRE.
YOU HAVE TO USE BAKING SODA.
Throwing flour into a fire can cause it to combust and make the fire worse because FLOUR/SUGAR IS FLAMMABLE. One cup of flour into a grease fire can have the explosive force of dynamite.
The reason you use baking soda is that it releases carbon dioxide when heated, and CO2 is a fire suppressant.
REBLOGGING FOR LAST COMMENT TO SAVE LIVES