“To love someone means to see them as God intended them.” - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Today's Document
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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ojovivo
occasionally subtle
$LAYYYTER
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

oozey mess

almost home

Origami Around
Sade Olutola
todays bird

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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Janaina Medeiros
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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@taqdeer
“To love someone means to see them as God intended them.” - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

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for the first time since the pandemic we recently drove for a long time and listened to hours of ghazal. in the pandemic my mum lamented the lack of opportunity to hear ghazal. today she was fulfilled, grateful, content. she asked me if i would remember her and this shared special moment between us when she is gone. i smiled and i said i already think about this often and how it feels to me. our relationship is complicated, painful, loving, nurturing, hurtful- all themes in ghazal. listening and singing to farida khanum, nusrat fateh ali khan, begum akhtar, abida parveen, the wadali brothers, and fareed ayaz with her on all of our road trips across the country is one of my most memorable life moments. we don’t speak to each other with words but with our souls and somehow we understand each other the most then. she has had many scary bouts with her health in the last year and in those moments i have wanted to do nothing more than just grab her, drive far away and listen to ghazal just one more time.
Ghazal of the week ☺️
Finland photographed by Mikko Pekkala

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“Some open my heart. Some my laughter. Some my mischief. Some my sin. Some my civic urgency. Some my history. Some my rawest confusion and vulnerability. Some friends, who may not be the closest to me, have the most important key for me in a moment of my life. Some, who may be as close as my own skin, may not have what I need today. It’s okay if our spouses or partners don’t have every key. How could they? It isn’t a failure if they don’t open every single door of who you are. The million-room-mansion of identity cannot overlap perfectly with anyone.” - Jedidiah Jenkins
“Grief, I’ve learned, is really love. It’s all the love you want to give but cannot give. The more you loved someone, the more you grieve. All of that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes and in that part of your chest that gets empty and hollow feeling. The happiness of love turns to sadness when unspent. Grief is just love with no place to go.”
— Jamie Anderson

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“You are not helpless. You are not heartless. And you have time.”
— Toni Morrison, The Source of Self-Regard
1. / 2 / 47 ronin (2013 ) / 3. / 4 / Albert Camus à Maria Casarès ( 27 fevrier 1950 ) / 5. / 6 / نون و گلدون (Mohsen Makhmalbaf, 1996) / 7. / 9.
fell in love today because of the way he blinked while seeing someone he missed. fell in love today because of how you cut your eyes to me when you’ve told a joke in a crowed room, looking to see if i laugh, too. fell in love today because she was talking on the phone and said hang on, mom, there are roses here, let me take a picture of them and send them to you.
lovely is not how you look, it’s something you do. he makes room for her in the circle without her asking him to. she gives me her raincoat even if it means she gets soaked. we walk home together after a long night and you wait to make sure i get safely inside.
i will never be tired of this. i will never be done writing poetry about it. i am so enamored with humanity’s softness.
no one tells you how much of life takes practice. not just writing, painting, running, singing, etc, but practicing how to make friends. how to make the right ones. getting practiced at how to be a good friend, a good sibling, a good person. practice identifying when people haven’t earned that. learning to recognize your right to rage and, eventually, how to offer mercy. so much of life is muscle memory, and i’ve begun to realize there are so many more parts of ourselves to flex and stretch and strengthen than those we’re taught in anatomy lessons
Fire (1996), dir. Deepa Mehta

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Please remember that almost everyone around you is traumatized. I didn’t understand this when I was younger. I wondered why people acted so strangely and irrationally. Maybe all children wonder this. The author Robert Anton Wilson said (paraphrasing), “We have never seen a completely sane adult human.” No one makes it out of this life alive. It’s not their fault. Mercy, kindness, forgiving — these are what makes one human. They are other names for love. People break in the strangest of ways.
“Under the present brutal and primitive conditions on this planet, every person you meet should be regarded as one of the walking wounded. we have never seen a man or woman not slightly deranged by either anxiety or grief. we have never seen a totally sane human being." — Robert Anton Wilson