My thoughts & creations

Do you ever just see a photo of someone that mentally and emotionally ruined you and just think wow, you, you were the person that caused me so much pain, so much anxiety and self-suppression.

It’s funny looking back on it now because that experience made me stronger but it also took its toll because every wound may heal but in its place takes a scar. A scar that inhibits the use of that once soft tender flesh, never to be used the same again.

Contrarium means opposite in Latin and that is what I feel I am right now.

I am have become the opposite person I was a year ago.

What to do with my life, art or work, it’s such a hard choice because I have little to no experience in either

Get angry at me?

because you angry at him?

Angry at yourself for wanting him?

This anger is the pain you cannot process

Why?

Because you don’t want to progress

Why?

Because without him you are lifeless

Your stuck in a cycle

A vicious one

Round and round your never done

Don’t hate me because your blind

Wake up before your hatred binds

Binds to our friendship

And then it sinks ships

Wake up boy and relax your mind

Don’t be an idiot but you’ll find

That I’ll still be here

I should miss him but I do, the love, company and warmth he gave me was exactly what I wanted. That is why he still pops up in my head, because he gave me everything I desired and now when I desire it he is the direct thought related to those desires.