Taoism

“...The Way molds myriad beings but is ever formless. Silent and unmoving, it totally comprehends the undifferentiated unknown. No vastness is great enough to be outside it, no minuteness is small enough to be inside it. It has no house but gives birth to all the names of the existent and nonexistent. Real people embody this through open emptiness, even easiness, clear cleanness, flexible yielding, unadulterated purity, and plain simplicity, not getting mixed up in things. Their perfect virtue is the Way of heaven and earth, so they are called real people. Real people know how to deem the self great and the world small; they esteem self-government and disdain governing others. They do not let things disturb their harmony, they do not let desires derange their feelings. Concealing their names, they hide when the Way is in effect and appear when it is not. They act without contrivance, work without striving, and know without intellectualising. Cherishing the Way of heaven, embracing the heart of heaven, they breathe darkness and light, exhaling the old and inhaling the new. They close up together with darkness, and open up together with light. They roll up and roll out together with firmness and flexibility, contract and expand together with darkness and light. They have the same mind as heaven, the same body as the Way. Nothing pleases them, nothing pains them; nothing delights them, nothing angers them. All things are mysteriously the same; there is neither right nor wrong. Those who are physically injured by the tortures of extreme climatic conditions find that the spirit is suffocated when the body is exhausted. Those who are psychologically injured by the afflictions of emotions and thoughts find that the body is left over when the spirit is exhausted. Therefore real people deliberately return to essence, relying on the support of spirit, thus attaining completeness. So they sleep without dreams and awake without worries.”

Achievement is a good thing... right? May be, I'm not so sure. It may just be a distraction from the moment, from life.

Over the past few weeks I’ve missed a lot of Kung Fu classes, and I haven’t posted any thoughts to this blog. I was trying to think of the reason. One of the reasons was that I had become very focused on my work. I enjoy my work. When I think I’m making progress or close to achieving something at work it tends to consume my focus. In consuming my focus, I forget to live in the moment. Time moves quickly, life is lost. I cease to be present.

Some would say that the achievement is worth it. Why else do we live? For me, I don’t live to achieve, I live to experience. Achievements are passing things, that give me nothing but ego. 

As I look back on my achievements in life, a lot are work related, and they are things that aren’t relevant any more. They are projects that were completed, and now have been superseded by other peoples projects that reinvented the ones I was so focused on at the time. Achievement means a lot at the time, but not in the grand scheme of life.

The problem is that achievement is so often framed in the context of human society, rather than in the context of the universe. Achievement has a tendency to be measured in money, winning, exam grades, efficiency, business capability, profit, etc. We are brought up, programmed, to understand this to be the case. And when we have achieved something, we are taught to be proud of it. And that pride leads to ego, and all the issues that go with it.

So recently I have found myself distracted by achievement. I can feel the dark tendrils of pride and ego creeping closer. I don’t like it. 

I was brought down to earth by a youtube video. My energy levels have been low lately too - no surprise. I did a random search on ‘how to build chi’, the video I found stated 1. Meditation, 2. Core Breathing, 3. Be present. Thats when I realised somehow I had got off my tao. Now I’m thinking ‘what the hell happened?’.

Achievement in societal context is very tangible, it can be measured. That makes it controllable, achievable with plans, measurable in progress, communicable to others. Appealing to my monkey-brain. 

These achievements distract me from making achievements in the context of the universe. Ones that are intangible, can have no plans, are unmeasurable and uncommunicable. Achievements that are appealing to my soul.

When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical And all the birds in the trees, well they'd be singing so happily Oh joyfully, playfully watching me But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible Logical, oh responsible, practical And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable Oh clinical, oh intellectual, cynical There are times when all the world's asleep The questions run too deep For such a simple man Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned I know it sounds absurd Please tell me who I am I said, watch what you say or they'll be calling you a radical Liberal, oh fanatical, criminal Won't you sign up your name, we'd like to feel you're acceptable Respectable, oh presentable, a vegetable Oh, take it take it yeah But at night, when all the world's asleep The questions run so deep For such a simple man Won't you please tell me what we've learned I know it sounds absurd Please tell me who I am, who I am, who I am, who I am 'Cause I was feeling so logical D-d-digital One, two, three, five Oh, oh, oh, oh It's getting unbelievable

Yin Yang

I love the concept of Yin Yang, It has all kinds of meaning in all kinds of ways. The Yin Yang symbol is iconic and appears pervasively in todays culture, yet is only superficially understood.

1. Inseparable - There is no ‘Yin AND Yang’ it is only ‘Yin Yang’ - it is one, whole, inseparable concept.

2. Constant Change - The yang flows into and seeds the yin, that flows into and seeds the yang, etc. Just as day night flows day, volcanoes erupt and create soil, hot evaporated water becomes rain, etc.

3. Exists on Every Level - Since Yin Yang exists in relation to each other they work on every level of existence. Water is Yin, Hot Water is Yang, Cool Water is Yin. A Volcano is Yang, the rocks it throws out are Yin, the Lava is Yang. And so on.

4. Wu Ji - The centre point of the Yin Yang symbol is the Wu Ji. It is infinite and unchanging.

So Yin as compared to Yang... Yin is cold, dark, lower, at rest, storing, receiving, the hole, submissive, salty, savoury. Yang is hot, bright, higher, moving, expending, giving, filling, dominant, spicy, sweet. Etc.

It really is the case that Yin and Yang create each other. From the Tao Te Ching:

When people see things as beautiful, ugliness is created. When people see things as good, evil is created. Being and non-being produce each other. Difficult and easy complement each other. Long and short define each other. High and low oppose each other. Fore and aft follow each other.

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97 Wear sunscreen If I could offer you only one tip for the future Sunscreen would be it The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists Whereas the rest of my advice Has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience I will dispense this advice now Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth Oh, never mind You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself And recall in a way you can't grasp now How much possibility lay before you And how fabulous you really looked You are not as fat as you imagine Don't worry about the future Or worry But know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind The kind that blindside you at 4 PM on some idle Tuesday Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don't be reckless with other people's hearts Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours Floss Don't waste your time on jealousy Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind The race is long And in the end, it's only with yourself Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults If you succeed in doing this, tell me how Keep your old love letters Throw away your old bank statements Stretch Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives Some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't Get plenty of calcium Be kind to your knees You'll miss them when they're gone Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't Maybe you'll divorce at 40 Maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's Enjoy your body Use it every way you can Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own Dance Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room Read the directions, even if you don't follow them Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly Get to know your parents You never know when they'll be gone for good Be nice to your siblings They are the best link to your past And the people most likely to stick with you in the future Understand that friends come and go But for the precious few you should hold on Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle Because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young Live in New York City once But leave before it makes you hard Live in Northern California once But leave before it makes you soft Travel Accept certain inalienable truths Prices will rise Politicians will philander You too will get old And when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young Prices were reasonable Politicians were noble And children respected their elders Respect your elders Don't expect anyone else to support you Maybe you have a trust fund Maybe you have a wealthy spouse But you never know when either one might run out Don't mess too much with your hair Or by the time you're 40, it will look 85 Be careful whose advice you buy But be patient with those who supply it Advice is a form of nostalgia Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off Painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth But trust me on the sunscreen

I started this journey very much intersted in philosphy. I’m not really religious, or at least I didn’t think of myself as such. Of course its a grey area. When does philosphy become religion? In fact, is any kind of belief system (including the belief that we exist and the world is real) a religion?

Ignoring the fact that we have very deep belief systems that we consider to be facts, that may be religion, there is definitely a point where philosphy becomes religion.

Taoism is a philosphy and also a religion. As a religion it has forms, rituals, rules on how to live life. I find this deeply ironic with Taoism. Since taoism is based on a principle that explicitly states that the true tao cannot be named. It cannot be written down. It cannot be ‘taught’ in the conventional sense. In fact the very rules that make up taoism cannot be the tao. I have no interest in following the taoist forms, rituals, and rules for this reason. Although at some point I will investigate further, since I cannot believe that the taoist religion hasn’t noticed this nuance.

Taoism as a philosphy is based on logic, its the logical breakdown and analysis of concepts, albeit from a different perspective than is common in todays world. Taoism has a lot of philosophical concepts that I enjoy understanding. A lot of the taoist perspectives ring true for me on a philosophical level (wu wei etc). Some would even call this religion if they didn’t understand the philosophy.

Taoism also has other ideas associated with it chi, jing, shen energy, for example. These energies are a basis of traditional chinese medicine. These are things from ancient wisdom that I cannot logically breakdown (right now at least). I do not understand these concepts from first principles the way I think I do with the Wu Wei. But I know that other taoists, deeper than I, have considered and come up with these concepts.

This is where philosphy becomes a religion again, at least from my personal perspective. If I accept concept of jing/chi/shen energy and follow them based on faith rather than a personal understanding, then it is definitely religion. If I personally derive all of these ideas from first principles it can remain a philosophy.

Of course, I am not as deep as some of those ancient taoists have been, it may take me many more years to get there - if ever. So I have found myself lately more ready to take some of these ‘religious’ concepts on faith - those related to energy. To exeriment with them. Taoism as a relgion is still not my personal tao, not yet anyway. But acknowledging ‘energy’ concepts are a different kettle of fish.

“Money can’t buy happiness”. Everyone ‘knows’ this. We’re all brought up on it. When I was younger I don’t think I really believed it, thinking it’s what people tell themselves to feel better when they don’t have enough of it. That’s what I thought anyway.

The problem with the statement “Money can’t buy happiness” is that its misleading. Sure, money doesn’t make you happy. But money doesn’t you unhappy either.

I sit here writing this, and still I want more of it. I need more for my pension, the mortgage isn’t paid off, I want to go on that vacation.

When I say “I want more of it”, understanding the “I” is important. There’s the I that is my monkey-brain, and the I that is my soul. And it is certain that when I say I want more of it, that its my monkey-brain talking. And its driven by fear, greed, pride, and other such monkey-brain emotions.

It’s true that money provides a momentary respite for those monkey-brain emotions. It allows some temporary reduction in fear of not having enough pension, or a brief swelling in ego as a new car is bought, vacations are good too. But having more money does nothing but make me want more. It lets my monkey-brain think that if only I had a little more, all those fears would go, the greed would be satiated, the ego would feel great forever. It gives my monkey-brain more to think about. It drowns out my soul. Which is somewhat ironic, since it is my soul that has the deep joy, the true happiness. My soul has the happiness that my monkey-brain can’t even conceive.

Now I’m older I understand this. I know that happiness is found in the soul. That keeping the monkey-brain quiet is more important for happiness than money. And in that way, having less money, and not fueling the monkey-brain emotions associated with it, may actually enable greater happiness - which is a crazy thing to say in todays society. But it’s true.

As Democritus said:

Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul.

The fact is that money is irrelevant to happiness. Its doesn’t feature at all in the happiness equation of life. It is a thing that facilitates human society, part of ‘the prison for your mind’. It is not the Tao, the universe has no use for it. Human society does though, so it will still feature in my life, just not in my happiness.

I had an epiphany today. Its something that I’ve known on some level for a while. I’m just connecting the dots on a deeper level now.

It came from another post ‘Thinking without words’. In that post I figure out that I do ‘think’ without words. And the times when I’m ‘thinking’ without words is when I’m observing the universe (i.e. sensing stuff through my senses), and participating in the universe by doing stuff (like kung fu), or when I’m imagining/meditating. These things do not require thinking with words.

I’ve read Descartes first and second meditations. I am the thing that is watching my thoughts. At least thats one potential truth. I am my soul. My soul connects directly to how I observe and participate in the universe - without words.

My thoughts - those words running through my head - are a practical upshot of having a brain and living in human society. My thoughts exist because of my ‘monkey brain’. They may even be the thing creating my perception of reality, that hides the reality of the universe. They are the material in which the rules are forged that form ‘the prison for my mind’. They are the origin of my fear.

But I am really not my thoughts. My thoughts are just words running through my head. My soul directly connects to how I observe the universe, and how I participate in it - through my body. My soul may be ‘thinking’ (if thats what describes what a soul does) all the time, and the only time I let my monkey-brain see my soul is when I meditate.

My monkey-brain thoughts can easily drown out my soul - drown out me. My fear has me planning and strategizing, needing knowledge to do things better, applying my monkey-brain intelligence to monkey-brain problems, words-on-words-on-words.

I stand at the seashore, alone, and start to think. There are the rushing waves ... mountains of molecules, each stupidly minding its own business ... trillions apart ... yet forming white surf in unison.

Ages on ages ... before any eyes could see ... year after year ... thunderously pounding the shore as now. For whom, for what? ... on a dead planet, with no life to entertain.  Never at rest ... tortured by energy ... wasted prodigiously by the sun ... poured into space. A mite makes the sea roar.  Deep in the sea, all molecules repeat the patterns of one another till complex new ones are formed. They make others like themselves ... and a new dance starts.

Growing in size and complexity ... living things, masses of atoms, DNA, protein ... dancing a pattern ever more intricate.  Out of the cradle onto the dry land ... here it is standing ... atoms with consciousness ... matter with curiosity. Stands at the sea ... wonders at wondering ... I ... a universe of atoms ... an atom in the universe.

The same thrill, the same awe and mystery, come again and again when we look at any problem deeply enough. With more knowledge comes deeper, more wonderful mystery, luring one on to penetrate deeper still. Never concerned that the answer may prove disappointing, but with pleasure and confidence we turn over each new stone to find unimagined strangeness leading on to more wonderful questions and mysteries -- certainly a grand adventure!  

This is what it means when one discovers how long it takes for the atoms of the brain to be replaced by other atoms, to note that the thing which I call my individuality is only a pattern or dance. The atoms come into my brain, dance a dance, then go out; always new atoms but always doing the same dance, remembering what the dance was yesterday.  

What, then, is the meaning of it all? What can we say to dispel the mystery of experience? If we take everything into account, not only what the ancients knew, but all of what we know today that they didn't know, then I think that we must frankly admit that we do not know. But in admitting this, we have probably found the open channel.

The Tao... The name that can be named is not the eternal name.

Why does the true Tao have no name? Words are the most basic of human structures. They are the structure on which all other structures in society are formed. So they serve human society rather than the nature of the universe, and the Tao is all about the nature of the universe.

My language - English - controls and bounds how I think. It might even provide the structure to my universe. This concept is explored in the movie Arrival in which learning an alien language changes the main characters perception of time and space.

So I’ve been thinking about thinking without words lately. There are some that say its impossible. In one way thats true, its tough to know what I’m thinking about without the words. Words are the only contexturalization I have for thoughts, other than the images of imagination. Its also tough to communicate what I’m thinking to others without words. So in some ways the fact that I’m thinking, when I’m thinking without words, is somewhat of an assumption.

I’ve noticed I think without words in 2 activities (although I could also add imagination and meditation to the list too):

1. Doing Stuff, like sport, like art, etc. I don’t need words to focus on the physicality of what I’m doing.

2. Sensing stuff, through the 5 senses. Like smelling flowers, feeling things on skin, looking at the sky, listening to music, tasting food. Focused on these things I don’t think in words.

Its funny that these 2 things are the 2 things that define how I exist in the universe - through oberservation (sensing stuff) and participation (doing stuff). Yin Yang.

But if I exist in the universe through these 2 things. And these 2 things do not require thinking with words. Then what value is thinking with words?

Of course the answer is obvious. To participate in human affairs requires this communication. It requires words. Human affairs requires us to plan, to work, to spend, and that requires thinking with words.

Human affairs needs words, but the Tao - the universe - does not need them. Hence the true tao cannot be named.

In the arrogance of my youth, when I was riding a career wave, the advice I used to give those younger was “the rules don’t apply to you”. This used to confuse them when I said this. “What rules are you talking about?”, they’d say. I’m only realizing now that it was I who was confused.

When I said it, I meant it in the context of careers and jobs. As in, “don’t think you need to work your way up companies with promotions - go straight to the top”, or some such thing. The societal rules of how to have a good career don’t appy to you. And it was true in the context of what it meant for me at the time. My ego was out of control too.

But now I realize it is so much bigger than that. “The rules don’t apply to you” actually is true for living as a taoist in human society. Its what the Matrix movies are all about - breaking free from the ‘Prison for your mind’. The Matrix being a metaphor for human society. Those rules are not just the rules of careers and jobs, but ALL the rules of human society. The rules generated by symbols, structures, words, money, organization, laws, and so on. These are the rules of man, not the rules of the universe.

Now when I remind myself that “the rules don’t apply to you”, I remind myself to understand it in the broadest possible context. And to hunt out those rules... they are everywhere! They are so pervasive they are hard to see, hard to understand. It’s hard to know when I’m in the Matrix. As Morpheus put it...

The Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work... when you go to church... when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.

Of course freeing myself from the rules of man completely would be akin to perfection, but generally the taoist must walk two roads - that of the tao AND that of society. However, it is possible to see the rules of man for what they are and go along with them as a choice, rather than in ignorance. To be enlightened, to be free.

If you can keep your head when all about you      Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,    But make allowance for their doubting too;   If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies, Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;      If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster    And treat those two impostors just the same;   If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools: If you can make one heap of all your winnings    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings    And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   And so hold on when there is nothing in you    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’ If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,      Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,    If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,      And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

I hate goals. I’ve written previously about how they don’t fit with my life philosphy. And yet the world seems to revolve around having them these days. There’s a social pressure to have goals, inflicted regularly through FaceBook and LinkedIn pundits and memes. Sometimes my frustration with aspects of life make me think I need a goal to change things. So I’m questioning, am I wrong to hate goals? Should I actually have them driving my life?

In my research about goals I found this quote from the Dalia Lama:

“I believe that constant effort, tireless effort, pursuing clear goals with sincere effort is the only way”

At least he thinks goals are a good idea. As a Taoist, I respect his opinion and look for the wisdom in it, but it may not be good advice for me in my context. I have no idea about the context the quote was made within.

I’ve been trying to think if I’ve had goals in the past, or have them now, and I just haven’t noticed. I’m often a project manager at work - is the completion of a project a goal? Getting my degree - was that a goal? Doing Kung Fu, ultimately I may get a black belt - is that a goal? When I emmigrated to Canada, was that a goal?

So, do i actually have goals, and just didn’t notice?

My curent contract is on a project - do I have a goal to complete that project? I certainly work towards it every working day, but my focus and my purpose each day is in the discrete peice of work required at that moment - not the end goal. And its not my goal, its the goal of the company thats paying for the project. So no, that is not a goal for me.

What about Kung Fu, is a black belt my goal? No. Thats an easy one to answer. I go to classes, but if I never got a black belt I woudn’t care. The value of Kung Fu is not in the colour of the belt I have on my waist.

When I emmigrated to Canada - was that my goal? Hmmm... I have to say I think it was my goal. Its something I wanted passionately. It took a lot of effort. A lot of staying in a job I didn’t enjoy in order to keep my visa while permanent residency came through. It wasn’t enjoyable at all, although I endured it because I wanted to live in Canada, and now I’m here I’m very glad we did it.

Getting my degree - a goal? Yes - for this too. I worked boring unskilled jobs and decided I had to have a degree to get the kinds of jobs I would enjoy. Again, it was not an enjoyable experience for me. I didn’t enjoy the poverty of student life. But I’m glad I got my degree, it opened the doors for very enjoyable jobs and interesting experiences.

Maybe this is why I hate having goals? Past experiences of them have not been enjoyable. Maybe.

In the past goals for me have been associated with wants or desires, or some kind of perceived need. They were not easy to achieve, at least for some goals.  Does a goal being excessively difficult or unpleasant mean it was a bad idea? After all it’s not the Wu Wei - there was definitely some ‘doing’ in making those goals happen. Even though they are not the Wu Wei, those goals were part of my tao. I can’t imagine life going a different way, I was compelled by those goals. And at the time, I had no idea about the Wu Wei. Today, I don’t think I would go against the Wu Wei in such a fashion.

Goals have other problems for me too. They stop me changing direction on a whim. They restrict my freedom, trap me. And they make life predictable, even boring.

And they consume your life for long periods of time. My degree and emmigrating took years to achieve. And while I was pursuing those goals, other aspects of my life were ignored. In fact, living the moment can often be ignored when focused on a future goal. That makes goals very expensive in life.

There’s a lot of things that make goals a bad idea for me. But some goals are unavoidable, they are part of my path - my degree, emmigrating to canada, and maybe others I don’t know about yet. Sure I chose them, even for selfish reasons, but they were goals that compelled me. I’m not sure I really had a choice. So when the goal is put there by the tao then I would say its a good idea.

What about the wisdom of the Dalai Lama? I think there may be one other example of a good goal. That selfless goals in compassionate service of others may also be a good idea. Honestly I don’t know. Although I’ve acted with purpose to help people selflessly, I can’t say I’ve had it as a goal. Maybe the tao will give me such a goal in my future.

The bottom line with goals... if a goal is put in my path by the tao, its a good idea. If it’s created by me for some selfish reason, its a bad idea. And most of life is not having goals at all, but living with purpose in the moment.

The Vinegar Tasters...

In April 2017 I started Kung Fu. As I write this I’m an Orange Belt. Kung Fu is the only ‘sport’ that I’ve ever kept up, other than Skiing. Here’s why...

1. Fitness - I’ve never like th gym. All that pointless treadmill running and weights pumping has never appealed to me, but I have kept trying to do it throughout my life. I recently gave up the gym membership in favour of Kung Fu. Kung Fu requires a degree of fittness, increasing as you get higher in the belts. Most classes start with at least 30 mins of ‘boot camp’ style kung fu that gets the heart pumping and sweat flowing.

2. Non-Competitive - I don’t like playing competitive sport. I never have. There’s too much stress in trying to win all the time. Of course you can do martial arts, including Kung Fu, competitively. My school does not teach it competitively, but for self defence. The difference being that there are rules for competition - like you can’t kick a guy in the balls - that don’t apply to self defence. In self defence a groin kick is totally OK. I like that it’s non-competitive.

3. Mind, Body, and Soul - Kung Fu is not just about learning how to defend myself. They also teach about meditation and the chi. It’s a connection back to ancient shoalin wisdom.

4. Skill - I like learning a skill. I’ve got no natural talent for Kung Fu, I’m completely uncoordinated. But I’m getting better at it. I’m learning faster, and becoming more natural at it. It feels good to get better.

5. Flexibility and Balance - Kung Fu requires a lot of flexibility and balance, and the muscles to match. It’s a bit like yoga in some ways, only with more movement. The training includes a lot of stretching and balancing. My posture is getting better too.

I love the Taoist concept of the Wu Wei... literally translated it means ‘non-action’ or ‘non-doing’. From the writings of Chuang-tse:

At the Gorge of Lu, the great waterfall plunges for thousands of feet, its spray visible for miles. In the churning waters below, no living creature can be seen.

One day, K'ung Fu-tse was standing at a distance from the pool's edge, when he saw an old man being tossed about in the turbulent water. He called to his disciples, and together they ran to rescue the victim. But by the time they reached the water, the old man had climbed out onto the bank and was walking along, singing to himself.

K'ung Fu-tse hurried up to him. "You would have to be a ghost to survive that," he said, "but you seem to be a man, instead. What secret power do you have?" "Nothing special," the old man replied. "I began to learn while very young, and grew up practicing it Now I am certain of success. I go down with the water and come up with the water. I follow it and forget myself. I survive because I don't struggle against the water's superior power. That's all."

At first I loved this because it gives me the freedom to live without stress. To relax, without striving to control the world, or to battle against the nature of things. To do nothing.

But its actually so much more than that. 'Non-action’ doesn’t mean ‘do nothing... lie down... don’t eat or drink... wait to die’. It would actually take a lot of effort, a lot of doing, to lie down and not eat and drink. The Wu Wei, the minimal effort, is actually to follow my inner nature, without striving to control the universe around me.

What is my inner nature? That’s a tough question. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately.

I saw that I dont have a lot of patience. I wondered weather impatience was part of my inner nature. Upon closer examination my impatience is driven by fear, want, or expectation. Its not part of my inner nature.

I like to work hard. Is that part of my inner nature? I think not. I only work hard when driven by something - my job, some expectation of me, etc. I’m quite happy to sit and do nothing all day.

There are many other facetes to my personality that could be considered inner nature, but aren’t. Strip those away, and I’m left with 2 components; a yin part and a yang part.

The yin part of my inner nature laughter. Thats it. I’m filled with innate laughter, even when there’s nothing at which to laugh. It explains a lot, sometimes I laugh at inappropriate times, and I use LOL constantly in texts.

The yang part is purpose. I’m not sure the word fully articulates the sense of it. But its like a focus, a kind of determined focus. A focus thats entirely within the moment but also connected to the future and past.

I wonder what other peoples inner natures are... is everyone the same? Of course its impossible to tell. The nature and context of the question itself is different for everyone.

I’m glad I’ve come to understand my inner nature better. I think my understanding of it will continue to develop as I test my current theory.