there's more to everything @tansdiary - Tumblr Blog

"Oh, what I have made of myself. It's all my fault, all my fault..."

—february twenty four, twenty twenty six // it's no longer theirs now, it's all mine, all mine, yes, only and only mine.

#deardiary #spilled ink #poetry #art #excerpts from my life #dark academia #depression

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Full of desires, I am starving ... my soul terribly aches ... cries and yearns ... to drink the winds ... to devour the stars ...

—february twenty four, twenty twenty six

#deardiary #spilled ink #poetry #art #dark academia #excerpts from my life #nature #depression #stars #universe

i long to know how it feels to be alive...

—january thirty, twenty twenty six

#deardiary #spilled ink #depression #excerpts from my life #chronically ill

"I don't know anymore..."

—january thirty, twenty twenty six

#deardiary #spilled ink #dark academia

unable to sleep.

#deardiary #insomnia #sleepless nights

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"to seek her often felt like stepping into a forest enveloped by an eerie fog... i couldn't precisely see who she really is or where she is, but my soul ached to grasp her mystifying spirit..."

—december one, twenty twenty five

#dark academia #gothic #poetry #winter #deardiary #december #spilled ink #art

the ever-changing sky still feels so familiar...

—november thirty, twenty twenty five

#deardiary #sky #excerpts from my life

haunt or be haunted.

—september thirty, twenty twenty five

#deardiary #hope courage finds me #dark academia #halloween #october

soracities

when e.e. cummings said “i’ll live my life if it kills me”

softspringsolace

when andrea gibson said “i suppose i love this life, in spite of my clenched fist.” & when ellen bass said “to love life, to love it even when you have no stomach for it”

typewriter-worries

when james baldwin said, “this is why one must say yes to life and embrace it wherever it is found-and it is found in terrible places; nevertheless, there it is;”

tansdiary

i suppose the only thing that keeps me alive is my fascination for life.

#deardiary #i desire life; i desire to live (forever)#regardless of all the suffering it offers me

the thought of death kills me!

—june twenty five, twenty twenty five

#deardiary #will i be living in fear forever?#dark academia #spilled ink #excerpts from my life

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i wish.

#deardiary #i hope the dream means something #it was accurate to an extent (confirmed) but i don't know of the future—i won't know of it until i'll be in it #however what i know with certainty is that the path seems to be through the present

my mind is both a home and a horror house.

—january three, twenty twenty five

#deardiary #the duality of nature both perplexes me and fascinates me

Whose life am i living? Am i living at all?

—may twenty one, twenty twenty five

#deardiary #the sky is pretty and so is the world. i wish i could bask in their beauty and be present entirely but alas...#there are flashes in my head for what i wish to say but i can't put them in words—#perhaps im afraid of how i have wasted my life & continue to do so #i fear verbalising them will only make me regret more & hate myself more so i choose to neglect reality & my feelings & my life altogether

note to self:

fascinated with the subject of astrology, i must try to learn more about it.

#deardiary #always fascinated with the cosmos #or anything relating to it #p.s. will forever be an open-minded skeptic

will escape into a book now

—may ten, twenty twenty five

#deardiary #i want the real life as much as my escapes #but the people here won't let me #i keep on trying and failing #i'm tired i'd rather escape #i'd be away again

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the cold windy nights, my beloved.

—may five, twenty twenty five

#deardiary #i feel alive in these very moments

to taste death while being alive is somewhat divine, perhaps some blissful blessing in devilish disguise.

—april twenty eight, twenty twenty five

#deardiary #could it be that i was destined to this path?#does something await me? something that i have been seeking sacredly?

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