Lair of delusional thoughts

yeahh, this is my story (dropping uni for the 4th time, not being able to pass 1st semester, trying different fields each year)

the shame that hits you when you walk around your messy, cluttered room, knowing you don’t yet have the motivation or hyperfocus to clean it, even though you want to.

the shame that hits you when you retell a story for the thousandth time and the person you’re talking to gets bored or annoyed or confused by it, cuz you couldn’t remember you had told it before.

the shame that hits you when you ask someone to repeat what they’re saying multiple times because you keep forgetting or you just can’t hear them.

the shame that hits you when you forget something super important after you leave for a trip, and you ask to go back for it.

the shame that hits you when you know you’re overanalyzing something someone said to you, but it still hurts.

the shame that hits you when you snap at people who are just talking to you while you’re hyperfocused.

the shame that hits you when you realize you don’t remember jackshit about your life, you don’t have any memories, and you wonder what it was all like.

the shame that hits you when someone asks you to just shut up or sit still after you were just expressing your emotions, your happiness even, but were just a little too loud about it.

I struggled keeping it clean.

I struggled getting it clean.

I would sincerely put in quite a bit of effort and be really proud of the progress I made. Then one of my parents would come check and see how I was doing.

"Well, you've still got a long way to go."

That sentence. I was like, 11 when my parents were saying that to me. It was crushing. All my pride and satisfaction with my work was completely gone. All my effort was worthless to them. All they saw what everything I didn't do.

At the age of ELEVEN, I knew that wasn't right. That wasn't fair. I swore to myself I would never invalidate someone's work like that.

Now, at 30, I catch myself thinking 'I cleaned up, but my apartment is still so messy.' and I flashback to standing in my bedroom as a child, hearing those fucking words from my parents.

'No. I wouldn't invalidate someone else's work. I'm not going to invalidate my own. I did good. I made progress.' and I'll list the things that I DID get done to myself.

You deserve credit for all the progress you make.

You deserve credit for all the work you do.

It doesn't matter how much work you have left.

What you accomplish, no matter how small, counts. Even when what you accomplished was taking a day to rest and recharge and give yourself a break.

So you've learned the 12 principles of animation but don't know where to actually apply them? Fear not!! For here is my step-by-step process, very very condensed, into one singular giant GIF.

Hope it helps!