Being Tanktronic

The State of the Tanktronic Union

Sooooo, it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything around here. You know how when you haven’t called a friend in a while, and you know you really should call them, and you tell yourself you’ll wait for an important event to finally make the call, only then nothing  feels important enough to call out of the blue, and before you know it you haven’t spoken to a good friend for like four years?…

My Gift to You…

Have former friends, former co-workers, or spurned lovers who just won’t take the hint?  Go ahead and download this here voicemail greeting to take care of the dirty work for you.  Enjoy! http://www.tanktronic.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/vm.wav Right Click here to download.

Praise vs. Progress: The Flawed Fight For Racial Equality

The killing of Trayvon Martin three years ago, an act of dubious legal and moral validity, sparked a movement that sought to identify and protest race-based injustices. That spark roared to a flame in Ferguson, amidst allegations of murder at the hands of local police.  The fire burned on through similarly controversial police actions involving minorities in New York, Cleveland and Baltimore.…

Excerpts From Suburbia : Yoga Class

[dropcap]I [/dropcap]like to eat, and I like to lift weights.  Consequently, I have a body that looks like I like to eat, and I like to lift weights. While I’m trying to step up my cardio and step down my carb intake (damn you, bread; damn you for your bland yet seductive goodness), I’m also looking to increase my flexibility (ladies) and start to explore meditation. So, I signed up for my first…

Shit That Needs to Stop : Prescription Drugs

[dropcap]C[/dropcap]hances are, one of them is circulating through your body right now.  Unless you’ve found a way to cure herpes with essential oils (and again, I’m really sorry about that), you’ve most likely left your doctor’s office in the not-so-distant past with a unintelligibly-written slip of paper.  You then motored directly to your nearest CVS or Walgreen’s, only for a pharmacy tech to…

It’s How You Play The Game…

Bottom of the ninth.  Runner on first.  One out.

You’ve got your best baserunner on first.  The Kid has wheels.  He’s got 41 steals this year, only thrown out four times. Virtually a lock to nab a second.  Your #3 batter is up, cleanup guy on deck.  Both hitting over .330 this year.

You peer from the dugout.  Across the diamond, two hundred feet away, the third base coach locks his eyes to…

Awkward Moments: The Drive-Thru

[dropcap]A[/dropcap]lright, so here’s the scene…

Taco Bell drive-thru.  7:43 pm.  An overcast early Spring evening.

I’ve pulled up to the little box squawking at me with a clarity somewhere between Morse Code and Russian submarine radio signal, placed my order for a pair of burritos and a Diet Mountain Dew, and pulled forward.

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For The Motherless, On Mother’s Day

[dropcap]T[/dropcap]here’s an unholy trinity, of sorts, that we all know.  The three dates on the calendar we all dread: her birthday, the day she died, and Mother’s Day.  The first two are yours to cope with any way you’d like; short of a phone call from family or your closest friends, the outside world doesn’t know the significance of the day.  You can celebrate, grieve, or simply hide.

On…

Shit That Needs to Stop : Tinder

I hate dating.

It’s an inverse Sophie’s Choice really, determining which of the two stages are more painful.  There’s the actual dates themselves, volleys of uninteresting small talk queries occasionally pierced by idle observations on the food/beverage or other customers surrounding you.  At worst, it’s a couple hours of your life you’ll never get back that serve only to push you further down…

How to Buy The Year of the Roses

My book, The Year of the Roses, is now available for purchase.  The website for the book has all kinds of information, including a synopsis, chapter listing with two sample chapters, a little further background exclusive to the website, and links to journals of the time in Paris and Rome.

You know what the book is about?  A man spending his adult life chasing happiness, the tragic passing of his…

Shit That Needs To Stop : The Gym

At one time or another, we’ve all been there.  Some of us still go often.  Yet more of us go once each quarter but put “3x per week” on our dating profiles.

It’s The Gym.  Whether you patronize fancy-schmancy places like LA Fitness or that budget shithole Planet Fitness (like I do), the experience is largely the same – only the sartorial quality of the front desk staff, bathroom fixtures, and…