#stnts

Shit That Needs to Stop : Prescription Drugs

[dropcap]C[/dropcap]hances are, one of them is circulating through your body right now.  Unless you’ve found a way to cure herpes with essential oils (and again, I’m really sorry about that), you’ve most likely left your doctor’s office in the not-so-distant past with a unintelligibly-written slip of paper.  You then motored directly to your nearest CVS or Walgreen’s, only for a pharmacy tech to…

Shit That Needs to Stop : Tinder

I hate dating.

It’s an inverse Sophie’s Choice really, determining which of the two stages are more painful.  There’s the actual dates themselves, volleys of uninteresting small talk queries occasionally pierced by idle observations on the food/beverage or other customers surrounding you.  At worst, it’s a couple hours of your life you’ll never get back that serve only to push you further down…

Shit That Needs To Stop : The Gym

At one time or another, we’ve all been there.  Some of us still go often.  Yet more of us go once each quarter but put “3x per week” on our dating profiles.

It’s The Gym.  Whether you patronize fancy-schmancy places like LA Fitness or that budget shithole Planet Fitness (like I do), the experience is largely the same – only the sartorial quality of the front desk staff, bathroom fixtures, and…

Shit That Needs to Stop : Business Email

So, as some of you may know (I really don’t get into my backstory here, do I?  I should write a book or something…) I spent a fair share of my life in the corporate office setting, being driven mildly insane by the dumb shit people do there.  Yes, it wasn’t always sweatpants and Starbucks for your humble narrator – I used to be sitting where you are, right now, in a cubicle reading dumb shit on…

Shit That Needs to Stop : Driving

Whenever I talk about getting a driver’s license with my friends from Europe, they express considerable shock at how easy it is for us Americans to earn the right to drive.  Whereas getting your license in Germany requires years of classes and training and thousands of dollars, here in ‘Merica you can get one with about $99, a few hours, and a pulse.

I understand the lack of mass transit here…

Shit That Needs to Stop : Hotels

Back in a previous life, when I used to virtually live in hotels – sometimes literally so – it became exceedingly apparent that these were strange little places.  There were some omnipresent highlights; like meticulously clean bathrooms and that feeling of dropping onto a perfectly made bed for the first time.  More often than not, though, hotels proved to be home to a maddening collection of…

Shit That Needs To Stop : Starbucks

Starbucks was once a place I avoided at all costs; my temporary occupation as a writer, though, has all but forced me to embrace the Seattle Satan in my everyday routine.  It’s not all bad, it serves its purpose, and from time to time it’s a thoroughly enjoyable couple of hours.  Some aspects, however, I just can’t deal with.

The Impatient Barista

Here’s a typical exchange between myself and the…