her whatabouts

Life 2 years ago.

Hi guys! Yes, I’m back but I’m not sure if I’ll be consistent this time. I feel bad for abandoning my blog when this had been and always will be my safest space. For those who don’t know me, just call me Tanj, a 20-something pharmacist. My previous URLs were “tanjxx” and “tanjandtheworld” in case you find them familiar. I’ve been in Tumblr since 2010 but I was more on reblogging during my early years. I haven’t blogged for 2 years and this blog is rusty already. I’m sorry blog for leaving you because you weren’t my priority that time and you know I don’t have a laptop to blog conveniently.

My last updates were:

1.) Resigned my first job to take the NMAT

— Luckily, I got a good percentile rank so I can enter the schools that I will apply to but sadly, my parents can’t support me to proceed to medicine with or without a scholarship and now I’m on my third job already hahaha! TBH, I still wish I can proceed. :-(

2.) My bf and I were on LDR

— We were on LDR for a year and half & now we’re reunited and still going strong for 5+ years.

I’ll try my best to update you on what happened to me for the past 2 years and I know this will be a long post.

⭐️ Jan 2020 — I applied again as a community pharmacist in a bigger company in Cebu City.

⭐️ Feb 2020, I was reassigned to Ormoc City for a month and behold! Lockdown! So I stayed there for 7 months.

⭐️ It was mixed emotions. I was happy because I felt independent for the first time, met new people and I was nearer to my bf but then Covid came… the loneliness was sometimes unbearable. I can’t see my bf nor my family but my new friends were amazing. I learned to drink lots of tuba.

⭐️ I really had a major breakout ever! My self-confidence went down. My face was almost covered with pimples and they were painful and took long to heal. Tried rejuv sets, whatever was in Watsons and took pills because I was so desperate.

⭐️ I was diagnosed with PCOS and I still have it til now. The reason why I gained a lot of weight and pimples. I was prescribed to take an antidiabetic med and birth control pills.

⭐️ Got my 8th and 9th piercing but it closed :(

⭐️ Around Sept, I went back to Cebu since they opened their borders again. I was happy because I’ll get to see my family again, sad bc there was no guarantee if my bf & I will ever meet again.

⭐️ LDR days were so hard. We only met 5 times and it was just quick meetups. Some nights I would cry (esp nights before we part ways), thankfully my boyfriend was strong for the both of us that we didn’t break up.

⭐️ I bought my first cellphone back in Dec 2020 and I paid it in full cash. It was Samsung Galaxy A71. It was a good phone but as a social climber (hahaha) I switched to iPhone XR last Nov 2021 through smart plan. Now, I’m struggling to pay my bills.

⭐️ Feb 2021 — my boyfriend visited me in Cebu and we went to Camotes Island. I was the happiest back then and that was the only legit vacation I have ever since pandemic started until now.

⭐️ May 2021 — I resigned. The management was getting worse and the work was draining me. I was assigned in a branch that operates 24 freaking hours and I was on graveyard shifts most of the time. My pimples were the happiest and I was palpitating and my body clock was fucked up.

⭐️ But it was also a perfect timing that my family decided to transfer to Ormoc City for good and that was the reason I stated in my resignation letter.

⭐️ I really had a huge dilemma. Ever since 2020 I planned to stay in my hometown, Tacloban City so that my boyfriend and I will be reunited once again. I swear I am not for LDR because I am impatient. I was torned if I will stay and work in Ormoc City where my life would be comfortable and I will be able to save money but my mental health will be at stake. Or work in Tacloban City, where I can be independent and spend more time with my boyfriend but will be around 100kms away from my family… but as a marupokpok, I chose the latter. How’s life? Well, we’ll talk about it soon.

⭐️ Around June 2021, I applied again because I need money and there were no vacancy in Ormoc… Me moving to another city again and convincing my mom that I can do it was so hard and I admit it, the move that I made to convince my mom was not smart… never again.

⭐️ So I applied for 2 jobs, a community pharmacist in one of the known drugstores in the country, and as a pharmacist in a distributor company. I actually wanted the second job but the salary was lesser and they want me to work URGENT and that time I was still undecided.

⭐️ So my third and current job is a community pharmacist… AGAIN. I hate working in a drugstore but when will I ever learn from my mistakes? Hahaha. Will blog about it soon.

⭐️ Thank goodness my family and my bf’s family helped me during my relocation and adjustment period but living independently is not a joke especially if your funds are limited.

⭐️ I went back to art. Will also blog about it soon.

⭐️ I learned how to cook (self-taught yarn? Hahaha) but I’m not gonna lie my dishes taste good and I still need a lot of practice especially in frying. I assumed that I will be good in cooking because my parents are.

⭐️ Got inked at last! I have two tattoos. An angel on my left upper arm and 3 sparkles on my right wrist.

I am so happy to be blogging again! I even bought a mini keyboard so that I can type on my phone. I hope I could blog more because I’m moe comfortable in sharing my thoughts here.

Thank you guys for reading. See you around! :-)

Hi. I re-installed this app again weeks ago but tonight is the first time I logged in. I can't believe I would be writing here again but there is no guarantee that I will be active again. It's been a year since I updated this blog. I made an attempt to write before 2020 ended but I was occupied.

Just a quick recap. Hi! I'm Tanj. A 23 year old pharmacist residing here in Cebu. This blog existed since 2010 but it's inactive most of the time.

There are a lot of happenings in my life that this blog can't witness anymore. I miss writing here! Tumblr will always be my safe space no matter what.

Maybe the next time I update this blog... if ever I have the energy to do it is to update you everything that I can remember.

I know this pandemic is not bringing the best of us but I hope we all will be safe as much as possible.

Belated merry Christmas and a happy new year everyone! I know I am waaaay too late to post this but as what other people say, better late than never. How was your holidays? It was a cold and rainy Christmas in Visayas because there was a typhoon especially in my hometown but thank goodness everyone was safe. I haven't got a chance to write since I went home after Christmas. I just want to share with you the gifts I received this Christmas.

1.) Adventure Time Coin Purse

- I swear this is the cutest coin purse that I ever own! This was given by my brother Borgy. To be honest, it is bulky when you place it in a small bag but I don't mind because it is pink, cute and it is Princess Bubblegum!

2.) Happy Skin Kissproof Lip & Cheek Tint (Under the Sheets)

- Finally my first ever Happy Skin product that I own because this brand is expensive. Thatsbellayt made me want to buy it but I can't afford it. The shade is like a muted brownish red which is good for daily use even if it is kinda dark. It is light weight but not long lasting but I don't mind reapplying every hour lol. The color doesn't show off on the cheeks and I haven't tested it if it is really kissproof. What I like about this tint is the scent and its moisturizing effects. This was given to me by my sister Tisha

3.) Adventure Time Mirror

- Not a fan of Adventure Time but the characters are so cute! my brother Angel gave this mirror to me which is what I needed because I dropped my mirror during my travels and the mirrors attached to some of my makeup products are too small. The downside of this mirror is that it is not handy and It can probably catch the attention of other people but then again I don't mind because it's cute!

4.) Track Pants

- What do you call this? Jogging pants? Sweat pants or what? But anyways, my boyfriend knew that I wanted one before and thankfully, it fits on me. My fashion style  is not the "street look" or whatever you call it but the pants are so soft and comfortable.

5.) Cash!

- Thank you Mama!

6.) Limelight Sketch Book (Plain)

- My boyfriend gave this to me uhm more like Í-let-my-bf-buy-this-one-for-me-as-a-gift and I am making it into a bullet journal which is I'm sure I'll be posting it here in my blog soon!

7.) Neutrogena Deep Clean Acne Foam Cleanser

- My Sister Lace gave this to me and I head this facial cleanser has positive feedbacks which is why I hope, even though my face is a hopeless case, that it will work on me.

8.) Doll Shoes from Lower East Side

- My mom gave this to me which is good because I wanted a new pair of shoes but sad to say it doesn't fit.

Lastly are these pahabol gifts that were not included in the first photo: Transparent wristwatch from Tomato which was given by my mom and another cash from my Aunt (not in the photo because I already spent it HAHAHA). I really wnated a watch because my old watch died and I love the watch my mom gave me although I have to be cautious to avoid getting the watch dirty. I know they can't and will never get the chance to read this but THANK YOU for the gifts you all gave me. So now we are done! Hoping that I can blog again the soonest!

https://tanjavoile.blogspot.com/2019/12/i-resigned.html?m=1

Hi! I feel bad for not updating my blog for 2 months and I wrote it here before that I’ll be active here in Blogger but I was being lazy and busy. But anyways, I really wanted to share here the full story on why did I resign. It’s been 3 months since I bade my very first job goodbye. I worked as a community pharmacist but not in a known or big pharmacy for 1 year and 11 days here in Cebu City. I prefer not to name the pharmacy and I never mentioned it even in my social media accounts. To be honest, the moment I started working there I knew that I won’t stay long. Yeah, one year may be a long time and there will be a lot of things that can happen in a year but in the world of employment, one year is just a short time. As what others say, working for only a year can give your future employer or the HR a bad impression. I haven’t reached my target savings before I resigned but I did not care anymore, I really wanna leave my job that time and I did not regret at all. During the last day of my work when I went out of the pharmacy I was disappointed but a huge thorn was pulled out from my chest.

So here are the reasons why I left my job:

1.) I took the National Medical Admission Test (NMAT)

— To be honest, I think I can review and take the exam without leaving my job since I’m not that busy but

this was the reason that I stated in my resignation letter that was safest. Since it is just a small time pharmacy, the relationship was more personal and I just want to exit peacefully and with no hard feelings even though the actual reasons why I resigned are stated after this paragraph.

2.) No aircon

— Maarte? I don’t care but I'm serious!!! As you all know, medicines need to be stored in places with low temperature to avoid their quality to deteriorate. I’m worried about the meds and I don’t want to be blamed because the owner is not making any action about it. I didn’t even mind when I applied because I was so desperate to work. This is one of the reasons I was scared of staying there because I fear my license will be at risk because of this violation and other reasons. The workplace is just too hot and it was just giving me more stress and headaches. It may sound insensitive because some are working under the scorching heat of the sun but it is one of the standards in a pharmacy that the place has a suitable temperature for the medicines.

3.) No thrill, opportunities and growth

— No work during weekends and holidays. 8AM to 4PM duty only? The newbie adult me was happy thinking that having a “hayahay” schedule was a good thing that’s why I said yes but then it wasn’t challenging knowing that being a pharmacist is stressful. I swear when I go back to work I will be “kulelat” because I lack experiences and knowledge in other medicines. My work was more like a routine. It’s like I’m just an intern. My role as a pharmacist was limited. What we should look for when it comes to work is that the company/employer will help you improve and grow in your profession or career through trainings and seminars but they can’t... unless they will benefit from it.

4.) Small salary

— Let’s admit it, most of us work to earn and when I was about to work for the first time, it was ok with me to have a small salary because I don’t have an experience yet that time, but the fact that my license is being used or at stake they don’t even pay me for it. My salary was lesser than the minimum wage a community pharmacist earn. So where is the justice?

5.) The staff

— My workmates and I have a huge age gap. They can pass as my uncles and grandmothers. Since they have been working for them for a long time and they have more experiences than me plus the fact that they have more "responsibilities" than I do just because they have stayed longer in the pharmacy, I look like the pharmacy assistant instead. My ex-boss was kind to me but behind those warm smiles, you are underpaid and lugi in all aspects not only to me but to my workmates as well. Since we have huge age gaps, we have different mindsets and sometimes they are toxic. But I'm sure wherever company I will be working, I will be working with people who you won't get along and it is normal.

A part of me was thankful working there since I knew what is life while working in a small time pharmacy and I enjoyed spending my not so hard earned money that I get from them. My schedule was good since I can relax and insert my vacations but a huge part of me regretted that I did work there... which I hope the next company I will be working at won't be a regret to me again. I am actually happy that the last quarter of the year, I am jobless and I did not regret it.

Hoping I can blog again asap,

It’s been two months since I wrote here and on my other blog. I can’t believe I am writing on my blog not because of a usual life update post but because I am sad and down. It feels nostalgic. Around 4 to 6 years ago, I wrote nothing but sad thoughts. I felt very sad, alone and down. As if there was a heavy feeling in my chest. I have no one to talk to because I don’t want to be a burden or they might be uninterested. Let’s forget about it because I have new problems to face. Right now, I can feel it again but not as much as before. I have no one to talk to (in personal) as usual. Not even to my boyfriend because he is far away from me and I made an attempt to share it with some of my friends but it was useless. I guess I was never an important nor a good friend to them or maybe they are just busy. I guess it’s you again, Tumblr and to those who can read this. I’m sorry Tumblr for taking you for granted and abandoning you.

(Excuse for the awkward spaces but I’m just typing this in my Tumblr app)

To tell you honestly, 2019 hasn’t ended yet but I can say it is a good year but few days before the year ends, I am drowning in sadness, pessimism and fear. Of all the guys I’ve been in a relationship with, this relationship has been the best and we never had huge problems or fights. He is not a pain in the ass either. I never had a relationship like this before so even if we are together for almost 3 years, it still feels surreal. I would always think our relationship is not perfect but we are very happy. And I fear that maybe there will come a time that we have to face a huge problem or challenge and yes that time has come...

We’ll be in a long distance relationship.

Yes, some or maybe you might think that it is not a big deal or it is just a petty problem but I never been into one and Paul and I are almost inseparable. We are all different in ways we handle or perceive our problems. We both actually live in the same hometown but our love grew here in Cebu. He has to go back home to work and build his future while here I am still stuck in Cebu because we moved here and my mom doesn’t have plans yet to go back home — but I will also work for my future and to sustain my gastadora self. I know he wasn’t sure back then where he will work but we know that working in Tacloban has more advantages for him. I was pushing him to work there but deep inside wanted him to work here so we can spend more time together and boom. I still can’t accept it and ever since he was already sure that he will go home, I would cry most of the time but I have to stop because I’m afraid my mom and siblings might catch me. I wanna go out to drink and cry alone but it sounds crazy.

I know I have to be strong and I need to trust him and have faith in him so that our relationship will still work out but I can’t help but be afraid that this might not work out. Maybe he might find someone better? What if we aren’t really for each other? Sounds pessimistic right? But I know I’m not the only one. I know whoever is/was in an LDR experienced this. There is nothing I can do but accept and adjust until I get used to not see his face or hold him almost everyday and not to wait every weekend for us to go out on a date. If only I can stop him or I’ll go home to work there just to be with him. It sounds crazy (again) and selfish.

If ever you read this, I love you so much and I will really miss you. I know we have to grow separately for our future 😭😭😭 I have to stop writing because this post is really long na and it makes me wanna cry but I am a bit okay somehow that I vented this out.

Will be strong because I have to,

It has been exactly 3 weeks since I resigned from my work and while I was still planning for my “grand exit”, I already listed on my phone the stuff I need to do once I resign.

So here is the 10 things I want and have to do:

Hi guys! I am happy and nervous at the same time because I want to share with you that I created a new secret space in the internet, NOT SO INTERESTING STORIES! My plan since summer has finally came true and I’ll try my best to keep up my blog. My blog is still ugly and empty but sooner or later there will be improvements. Hehe!

I haven’t officially moved out from Tumblr because I am still on my transition period. I don’t know if it’s rude to promote my blog here because I’ll NEVER promote my blog in my other SocMed accounts because blogging is my secret hobby but I think switching to Blogger is a good step to improve how I blog even though it means to start from scratch and giving up Tumblr. By the way, I won’t be deleting my Tumblr blog because it will break my heart.

So if ever you are blogging in Blogger, let’s connect and also be friends there like how we are friends here in Tumblr. Hala feeling close ang buang oh hahaha! 🙂

If you are interested, you can read my first post in Blogger. The whole story on why I transferred.

Sige tama na sa mga promotion promotion na yan. Hahahah! 

Til my next post,

Tanj

Goodbye, September.

Yesterday there was a nationwide strike. I thought I couldn’t go out. I went to FDA Cebu which is very far from where I am staying to submit the letters. The officer-in-charge almost refused the letters because of a minor error but thank goodness the officer who inspected the pharmacy told her not to let me repeat the whole process again. She’s my hero!

Although going to Mandaue was not that stressful, going to SM City Cebu from FDA was difficult. I’ve been standing in the waiting shed for an hour but the jeepneys were full and was left with no choice but to ride Angkas going to Pacific Mall under the scorching heat of the sun. Luckily, there are a lot of empty jeepneys in Pacific Mall.

I passed by SM to buy a gift for my brother but I failed. I did not have the mood to eat lunch and I just ordered a drink from Happy Cup which is a newly opened stall that is owned and/or endorsed by Toni and Alex Gonzaga. I ordered “Leche Flan” pearl it was okay but I was expecting that it would be a milk tea.

I went to Colon to buy meds and a hair treatment. I tried my luck again to open a bank account and got rejected again because I don’t have a TIN no. Before heading home, I ordered bacsilog from Ate Rica’s in E-mall. The food was good because duhhhh bacon except for the free juice which was like a mix of God knows what it is made of. 🤢 When I arrived home, I read a bit, had calamares for dinner and slept before 9 PM.

So here is the highlights of my September:

My face has been on its worst lately. Pimples growing and they heal really slowly + huge whiteheads + stubborn tiny bumps and I don’t know which product caused me to have bumps.

One year in my work as a pharmacist.

Ate at Ding Qua Qua (a Chinese buffet) woth my boyfriend. I’m sad we only get to see each other once a week only! ☹️

Unusual 33rd monthsary celebration

I made a Blogger account and it is under construction.

I bought a mouse and keyboard just for GTA. Hahahaha!

Celebrated Angel’s 16th birthday.

Been sick lately — cough, colds, a mouthsore and bodyaches.

I RESIGNED! (I’ll share it to you guys soon!)

Since I have all the time in the world, I hope I can blog more.

The unemployed,

THE SUNDAY CURRENTLY

Hello Tumblr friends, 1st of September and christmas season. Today is a gloomy rainy day and I hurriedly created a boring cover for September and for this week’s layout because my creative juices are running low. It’s probably been years since I made a Sunday currently post and I kinda missed it. So let’s begin!

Reading. Done reading my Social Science notes and I’m about to read Biology. I don’t even know if all that I read was absorbed my brain.

Writing. This post and I want to write a post entitled “August Highlights” or something related to it but I am kind of busy. Plan lang naman so I am not sure if I’ll really make one or what.

Listening. Unfamiliar songs my sister has been playing.

Thinking. If what time should I pay in Landbank for another FDA process and a blog name for my new blog. Yes, I’ll be moving to Blogger for good.

Wearing. A ripped DIY muscle tee and boxers.

Smelling. The fried pork belly my sister is cooking. Makakapagrice na naman tayo nito. 😅

Wishing. That I won’t spend a lot this week!!!

Hoping. That it won’t rain tomorrow. I really want to jog again.

Loving. The weather and our date yesterday.

Needing. To double time with my readings and that my plan to lose weight for this month will be put into actions.

Wanting. That my pimples and blemishes will lessen. I’ve been breaking out lately but I am happy that the products I bought for this tragedy is somehow working because my pimples calmed down already.

Feeling. Lazy, fat and neutral. I just don’t want this weekend to end!

I hope you all are doing good! And also hoping to make a new blog post asap.

Love,

life last week

Hi! It’s been a while since I wrote an update. To tell you honestly, I’m losing interest in blogging again and again. Anyways, here is a recap of my life last week:

We celebrated Mom’s 40th birthday and ever since she turned 40, her age never changed. Hahaha! We celebrated at Barangay Seoul and Paku. And we gave her 4 gift certificates from Let’s Face It. I love you so much Mommy!

I really want to jog again but my shoes got broken even it was still new and the weather is a bit complicated. I did the usual by walking on my way home but I took the longer route para kunwari exercise hehe. I’ve been gaining weight again. ☹️

I’ve been addicted to milktea that I ordered metal straws on Shopee. 2-3 milktea per week??? Goodbye allowance, hello diabetes.

I finally had the time to arrange my things except my clothes and underwear.

I’ve been breaking out last week. It’s been a while since I had a lot of pimples on my chin. I also bought DermAid drying lotion and it worked. The problem right now is how to fix the blemishes. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s my first menstruation of the year and yes I know it is alarming and I’m not yet ready to consult a doctor.

I answered the NMAT practice set that I saw in the net for the second time. I still got low scores but at least all my scores increased around 3-5 points each part except for verbal.

The last photo is taken during our usual Saturdates.

Til my next update!

August 8, 2018. It was the first day of a new chapter. I can still remember the first time I saw my name on the list. We were so happy. It was a huge achievement even though I felt my preparation for the board was not enough. Happily ever after? How I wish.

I thought passing the board exam will guarantee me a bright future and I’ll be financially stable once I get a job. But things aren’t the way that I expected. I have a job and a license now but I’m not happy and contented. I still feel useless. I know it is early to say this and it may sound as if I’m ungrateful because there are some who can’t have what I have right now and here I am andaming sinasabi... bawal na bang mag-share ng thoughts??

Back in college, I would ask myself if is pharmacy really for me but I don’t know why would I still ask myself these days even thought I’m already a pharmacist. *note: pharmacy is not my choice and I just said yes because Idk what I really want* Sometimes I feel like I am just a “tagatinda ng gamot” just like what other people think of us and the pharmacy that I am working at is making me feel that I do.

Anyways, I’m still young and new to my profession. There are a lot of things to learn and job opportunities that will make me a better pharmacist, there is still time and a big room for improvement and this is not a race to success but I hope I could reach that destination.

Regardless of what profession or career, I know I am not the only one who is lost... so should I be relieved? Hehehe. We all want to be a kid or a teenager again because adulting is complicated. I hope someday we can all figure out and achieve what we really want in life. Cheers to 1 year as an adult and a pharmacist! 🍻

Thank you for tagging me @sheerrs ! 💕

1.) Are you named for anyone? Yup! My grandma named me after a German model named “Tanja” that she saw from a magazine and I don’t even look like a model at all. 😂

2.) When was the last time you cried? May 2019? When my bf and I fought because it was all my fault. Hahaha!

3.) Do you have any kids? Nope and I don’t even want to have one.

4.) Do you use sarcasm a lot? Sometimes and I hate it whenever someone is being sarcastic to me. Hahaha.

5.) What’s the first thing you notice about people? Their hair & eyebrows. Hahaha.

6.) What’s your eye color? Dark brown.

7.) Scary movie, or happy ending? Happy ending... as long as it is not corny.

8.) Any special talents? Unlocking a door with a card? Dyeing one’s hair? Hehehe.

9.) Where were you born? Tacloban City, Philippines

10.) What are your hobbies? Watching videos, lettering, hanging and pigging out.

11.) Do you have any pets? @Parsley, @Pippa, @Cookie the dogs!

12.) Do you play sports? None! But I love running away from my responsibilities.

13.) How tall are you? I’m just 5”1, I guess.

14.) Favorite subject in school? I would always answer “Lunch Break” and “Dismissal” in a slumbook. But I think my favorite subject in Pharmacy is Dosage.

15.) Dream job? I actually have 3 dream jobs: a.) to be a dentist, b.) to work in a cafe or fastfood, c.) work that involves making art

✅ My first college barkada and I planned to have dinner but half of them ditched us and we ended attending a birthday party of my friend’s dad. We ate halo-halo at Melton’s after but I still prefer Sol’s.

✅ My sisters and I ate at KUAN KANAN-AN last Tuesday which offers unlimited lechon, pancit, fried chicken, chorizo and their oh-so delicious lumpia. For me P288 is expensive since they offer lechon but it was sulit! 👌🏻

✅ I’m bored so I bleached my hair for the first time!!! Will blog about it the soonest.

✅ I’m bored so I decided to take NMAT this October. Will blog about it soon but to my soon-to-be doctor and doctor tumblr friends, can you give me tips on how to ace it? Please? 🙂🙂🙂

✅ We celebrated Parsley’s 3rd anniversary with us last Friday since we don’t know her exact birthday.

✅ Last friday night, my friends and I drank Heineken and Mojitos last night. It was fun until I got drunk. I had a hangover the whole Saturday that I forgot to wash my bag.

✅ Lastly, the LTO (license to operate) Application of the pharmacy that I am working at was approved!!! We waited for 7 months for its approval. I don’t even know why it was approved because we had a mistake during the application.

That’s it!!! I actually have a lot to blog and I hope hindi lang ‘to hanggang plano lang. Hehehe! 🙂

Til next time,