heart eyes

this is still a wip, i'm planning on adding lots more (if you have requests for certain events/photos/scenes/whatever, please let me know!) but since i just added some new ones from hudson's bvlgari photoshoot, i figured i would share this now: a connor/hudson/ilya/shane dash icon page! there's three styles for each of icon (no background, textured, and plain) with seven colors to choose from! combine the filters to get more specific options! feel free to use however you please, no need for credit (just don't claim as your own! reblogging this post is appreciated but not necessary!) texture credit: @hisources

examples:

shane hollander, eight years old. paint me a picture.

Happy Birthday Shane!

HAPPY SHANE HOLLANDER DAY, EVERYONE! • May 10, 1991

at this point, the only danger were the choices he made on the daily. the anxious look across the other’s face, a stark contrast to sasha’s monotone expression, proves he was probably raised in the complete opposite route that sasha had been raised in. his response earned another laugh from him, but he really wasn’t laughing at him at all, even if he did nothing to clarify that he wasn’t. “we are not going to crash to our deaths. do not worry.” that was probably easier said than done. he can’t really blame him for panicking either, as the situation was less than ideal. even in his panicked state, something about the other’s voice was soothing to sasha. his voice sounded ethereal enough to be in one of those asmr voice overs, even if he was freaking out over being trapped in here. it was a stark contrast to sasha’s deeper tone, thrown together with a thick russian accent that he’s been told sounds intimidating, or asked to please repeat what he said because it didn’t click the first time. he’s tried to get rid of his accent, and while he doesn’t think it’s as thick as it first was when he originally moved here, he isn’t sure if he’ll ever be able to fully drop it either. he moved here too old to speak english the american way, too old to ever get rid of the accent that made him stick out like a sore thumb. while he isn’t one for many words, mostly because what he wants to say sometimes gets lost in translation, he doesn’t mind listening to sawyer talk. in fact, he enjoys it much more than he would let on. sasha nods along to what he’s saying, a tired grin forming on his lips. “yes, fire code. whatever that means. i agree.” he would be sure to google that later when he actually had signal available. sasha doesn’t respond to him being glad he’s not alone, but he does smile, and for sasha, actions mean more than words do.

he also agreed even if he wouldn’t say it. he could definitely be trapped in here with worse company, someone unbearable. sawyer was so easy to look at. he had such a pretty face, even if there was the smallest hint of fear in his dark eyes. sasha finds himself nodding his head at his explanation of sawyer being a family name, resisting the urge to smile back at him because he didn’t smile too often with strangers. he barely smiled with his so-called buddies, but then again, a lot of the stuff they got up to required anything but smiling. it was hard to smile when you were getting the wind knocked out of you, or on the opposite end. or even watching someone else get the wind knocked out of them. “sasha was my father’s name. and grandfather. and guy before that, and guy before that. and guy before that. so… family name too. like sawyer.” sometimes it hit him that he wouldn’t pass down his name to anyone else the way it was passed down to the men in his family, generation after generation. he wouldn’t have a little boy and name him sasha, and he wouldn’t see that little boy grow up, have another boy and also name him sasha, and sometimes, he wasn’t sure how he felt about that, even though he knew deep down it was for the best. even if he was into women and had that window wide open, he couldn’t just bring a kid into this world and risk the possibility of unintentionally passing down all the generational trauma that was unfortunately passed down to him. he wouldn’t want that for any child and with all the shady stuff he got up to, it was a less than ideal scenario for anyone to be in, let alone a kid. his bloodline and his name died with him, and he was fine with that. this was also news he knew would probably make his father roll in his grave, all tied down to him being gay, but he didn’t care about that. sasha stopped letting his voice dictate every aspect of his life years ago, and it was beyond liberating. he felt free.

his ears perk up when he mentions he’s a vet tech, and really, he only knows what that is because of maksim’s dog, a boxer who constantly hung out with them on their wild adventures. he was eleven years old and named moscow ( for very obvious reasons ). he was a senior dog, so vet visits weren’t uncommon, which is how sasha even knew what a vet, or a vet tech was. for being the low lives that they were, everyone loved that damn dog. it was one of two rules during any fight. don’t tell people about street fighting and be nice to moscow. no one needed the second rule though, because no matter how scummy everyone he surrounded himself with was, he has yet to meet anyone who didn’t like moscow. sasha could be a garbage person, but he always thought people who were mean to animals had a special place in hell. he’s always wanted a dog, but never had one. he loved them dearly, though. sawyer going into the veterinary industry made a ton of sense to sasha even though he didn’t really know him at all. he seemed so sweet. way too sweet for someone like him. the fact that he would care for animals that way and turn it into a job didn’t surprise sasha. if he was smart enough to get into something like that, he would. “you are vet tech?” he doesn’t hesitate to ask the following question. “you have picture of dogs you treat?” he could look at pictures of dogs all day. sawyer could show him a thousand pictures back to back and he would still want to see more. as if he couldn’t get any more attractive, he was also smart. sasha was convinced he didn’t even deserve to be in the same space as him. that much was proven true when he pulled out a fleece blanket from his bag, causing the russian male to burst out laughing. “what else is in bag? airfryer?” he wasn’t laughing at him at all, he just thought it was cute as fuck. still, he takes the fleece blanket and shakes his head. “you are very pretty. inside and out. but i cannot nap in small, uncomfortable elevator.” even if he wanted to, it wasn’t happening. he was exhausted and worn out, but his body wouldn’t let him sleep here. “no nap. tell me about yourself, mr. vet tech.”

Sasha was such a beautiful name, and suited such a beautiful man. Sawyer found it interesting that both had stemmed from their family, even if that was a pretty common experience for anyone. It seemed Sasha's traced centuries back, and he found that fascinating. "Wow. You are carrying on a legacy then," he pointed out, lips curving into a gentle smile. "Mine doesn't go that far back. It was like my grandmother's maiden name, or something. So if anything, yours is much more manly than mine." He decided not to press on the subject of the injuries for now, considering Sasha didn't seem interested in divulging. Which was fine - he really hadn't expected him to anyway, even though Sawyer was incredibly curious; albeit also concerned. It appeared that Sasha was interested in his career, and Sawyer took that to note that maybe he was a big lover of animals. Or at least dogs. The latter, especially when he asked about pictures of dogs he treated. That drew the brightest, cheesiest grin from Sawyer, and he knew he had just the thing in his bag. Still, first he offered the blanket, because he knew Sasha seemed tired and exhausted. Even if he was quick to veto the idea of napping in the tiny, confined space.

"No air fryer, sadly. But I do have a crockpot in here. So if we're stuck for 4-8 hours I can whip up something." It came out in a deadpan tone, but Sawyer was quick to laugh and let him know it was a joke, because honestly, he wasn't sure if Sasha could tell or not. He was very, very hard to read. Sawyer had a feeling he liked it that way... and so did he. It made this mystery man all the more intriguing. "Okay, well, you can hold the blanket in case you are cold. I don't actually have any kind of kitchen appliances in here, unfortunately," he was sure to explain, his smile softening at the edges. "But I have something even better that I think you're going to like." It took a moment for the words to sink in, but once they did, Sawyer's cheeks practically glowed pink, his freckles scrunching as he grinned at the compliment. Sasha thought he was pretty? The prettiest man he'd ever met in his entire life thought he was pretty? Inside and outside? Deep brown eyes widened as they looked into vibrant baby blues, long lashes fluttering while he tried to come up with a clever retort. Yet all he managed was a bashful "Thank you. You are so much prettier." It came slipped out dreamily, and Sawyer was a little mortified, because he definitely hadn't meant to say it out loud. And then, "Oh, okay - I can do that," he attempted to recover quickly. "What is it that you want to know? I will tell you about me, but I want to know about you too. That only seems fair."

Realizing he had forgotten to retrieve the mystery object he thought Sasha might be into, Sawyer's gaze finally broke from those sea-glass shaded eyes to focus on his bag. "We can learn about each other while we look through this," he suggested, pulling out a photo album filled to the brim with the animals he treated. Mostly dogs, some cats. occasionally something a little more rare like a bird or a reptile. He handed it to Sasha and removed the bag from in between them, tentatively scooting over to share the space better. Or the book. Either way, it was a nice excuse to be right up against him, and Sawyer felt a little shiver down his spine as their knees touched. "This has all of my patients in it. Or, most of them." He flipped the photo album open, the first page being that of a little shih-tzu with big eyes and a tiny little body. It looked like he was smiling for the camera. "This little guy is one of my regulars. He always wants to cuddle when he comes. He's very sweet. And this one..." he pointed to the next page, which had a giant Great Dane standing tall and proud. "Is his little brother." The juxtaposition made him snicker. "Do you have any pets? I don't, but only because I'm always taking care of these guys. Maybe someday though," he shared. Then Sawyer paused briefly before letting his eyes wander to Sasha's face again, his breath stuttering at the closeness. "Can I ask what happened?" he wondered, nervously, hoping he wasn't digging too deep. "You know, about these wounds? They look like they hurt."

( lean ) : for SENDER to lean in until their breaths mingle. – for quinn and wyatt ♡

they were doing their very first photoshoot, one that quinn knew was the start of many. it was outdoors by a pool, and they wore matching worn out jeans and white shirts. this was apparently a hidden promo for a pool scene in the show, but quinn felt like it was just an excuse to get the fans buzzing over seeing the two of them wet. quinn hated how good the other looked. he hated it so much, he was tempted to push him into the pool unprompted. “this is right up your alley, huh? you probably prayed for times like these.” he couldn’t help but be a bit of a jerk, a bitchy smirk playing on his lips. there's a whole camera crew surrounding them, this has to be the fifth time they change outfits and apparently the last, as this was the last bit of the shoot, where they were told to 'mostly improsive' and sell the narrative that they were taken with each other. they would play love interests after all. they just had to gaze at each other intently and make it look believable, which shouldn't be difficult since both of them have been acting for years now. that's when wyatt steps closer to him. so close, their breaths start to mingle, causing quinn's jaw to taut. he tells himself that it's out of annoyance and nothing else. he also has to remind himself there's an entire crew snapping pictures of them, so this is probably all for show. 

it takes him a moment to react, but when he does, of course, he's being his usual spitfire self. “i dont think you're ever beating the allegations of your fat, stupid crush on me.” he claims, and with the knowledge that they were being photographed, quinn starts leaning in even more, making sure their noses touched. “you wanna kiss me that bad, jackson? you really can't wait until shooting starts?” he whispers, low enough so he knows only wyatt can hear. he's leaning in a little more, giving the impression that he would completely close the gap between them. then, he starts splashing him all over the chest with the hose he had in his hands, laughing out loud, soaking him entirely. “that's great quinn! wyatt, feel free to do the same – get all up in each other's space, really sell the narrative.” leslie, one of the coordinators says. quinn looks to her with furrowed eyebrows, about to say something on the matter, when he feels ice cold water splash all over him, causing him to put his hands in front of him like some type of shield. “cold, cold, cold!” he let's out, feeling goosebumps starting to form on his arms despite how hot it was outside. their white shirts were now practically see through, the jeans clinging onto them. that water was freezing. “no, you're not allowed to splash me, only i'm allowed to splash you!” there was no logic behind that, but to get his point across, quinn attempts to turn on the hose again and further wet him. the keyword being attempts, because for whatever reason, nothing comes out. it's as if someone turned off the power from his hose on purpose. he hits it against his hand, but still, nothing. “you totally did this on purpose! wyatt, i'm serious, don't you dare wet me again!” he points the hose at him, which, isn't much of a threat anymore considering the fact that water is no longer pouring out of it.

His fingers curled into fists, and Wyatt resisted the temptation to push him away. In fact, as their noses brushed, he swallowed, thinking Quinn might actually do this, even if the words that rang from him stung. He was taunting him, but instead of falling into his trap, Wyatt drew him impossibly close, his hands fisting into Quinn's shirt. He didn't grip for long though, because a beat later he was being attacked by the water hose. "Damn it!" Wyatt hissed, jumping away from Quinn and trying to block himself from getting wet - to no avail. The water was fucking freezing, and Wyatt knew as his shirt clung even tighter that there was definitely proof of just how cold he was, showing through the white material. Leslie was egging them on, but then she challenged them both to join in. Without hesitation Wyatt grabbed the other hose, and didn't give a fair warning before spraying Quinn with it. He wasn't sure what kind of magic was on his side that made Quinn's stop working, but he was taking full advantage of it. "I didn't do anything!" Wyatt insisted, bursting into a fit of chuckles. "You can talk shit, but you can't take it?" Wyatt teased, relentless in his effort to hose Quinn down, soaking him to the bone. He was now the one laughing, and it felt good to get some of the anger out of his system. He was proud for not giving in to Quinn's ribbing. At least, not yet. "Roll around on the ground, get wild!" Leslie insisted, making Wyatt blush before tackling Quinn to the ground as dictated. He grasped Quinn's wrists, holding them down beside his head and using his hips to pin the rest of his body in place. "You caught me, Stokes. I can't wait to kiss you. I need you so, so bad." Wyatt drawled, leaning in so that their noses brushed again, and he closed his eyes, pretending he was going to take Quinn's lips with his. At the very last moment though, right before their mouths could touch, Wyatt drew back, a devilish smile on his face. "Don't flatter yourself so much, Quinn. I can have anyone I want. The last person I would pick on this earth is you."

( hair ) : for SENDER to brush hair away from RECEIVER’S face. – for kai and vanya ♡

it was around this time of the day that the flower shop was dead, which was the perfect time for kai to relax behind the counter, pull out his sketchpad and sharpened pencils, and continue the pencil sketch he had started last night, but didn’t finish. sombr’s makes me want you is faintly playing in the shop, causing kai to softly hum along to the beat while he got to work. at any other time, he wouldn’t do this, but truthfully, no one came in at this time. he had all kinds of sketches in this damned thing, all usually being things that happened in his life, bits his current hobbies or hyperfixations, or even just very random things he saw that caught his interest. it had started with a simple sketch of vanya’s lips, which he had embarrassingly memorized. then he added the usual cigarette between his lips, a sight he had seen one too many times, but before he knew it, he was sketching different variations of the other’s mouth, and god, this stupid infatuation was truly getting out of hand. kai knew that he was biased and of course, inexperienced, but vanya was such a good kisser, it made him weak in the fucking knees. he was sure he could single out his mouth in a large crowd if it really came down to it. he could recognize his scent and remember the curves of his muscles by memory alone. he was intoxicating and honestly, kai wondered if he had done some kind of russian witchcraft he was unaware of. it boggled his mind the hold the other had on him, up to the point where it actually scared him how attached he was becoming. 

kai wasn’t afraid of feelings. in fact, he welcomed them and considered himself to be someone who felt things on a different level compared to most people, a really emotionally intelligent person, if you must, but he would be lying if he said that the way he felt for the other didn’t terrify him just a bit. he’s never felt that way about anyone before. it was new, real, raw and exciting, but it was also completely uncharted territory for kai. he was drawing his lips while on the clock at his job, for crying out loud. how much more pathetic could he really get? his hair was getting in his eyes while he sketched, a clear reminder that he needed a haircut, but this didn’t stop him from getting lost in his own little world and letting his imagination run wild, his pencil gliding gracefully across paper. he’s so caught up in what he’s doing, he doesn’t even look up from his drawing when he hears the front door bells jingle, knowing that meant someone had walked in, which surprises him since again, this time of the day, the shop is dead, but it doesn't surprise him enough to pay any attention to it, or even look up from his sketch. “hey, welcome to poppy’s planet.” kai figures if they needed help, they would approach him. footsteps come even closer, but it isn’t until kai smells that all too familiar scent that he finally looks up, his heart practically doing backflips when his dark hues meet those ocean blues. “hi.” he tells him, smiling like a fool. it takes him a minute to even remember what he had been drawing, causing him to shut the sketchpad. that’s when a hand comes to brush his hair away from his eyes, which makes kai grin shyly, a familiar heat meeting his cheeks. “i need to cut my hair.” he admits sheepishly, licking his lips as he takes in the other’s beauty. he has so many questions, but he settles on a more teasing tone with him instead, darker eyes playful and shining brightly. “are you stalking me now, glazatov?”

"I like your hair both ways. Just cannot see your pretty eyes very well," Vanya explained, letting his touch linger a little longer than necessary. He needed to stop this - to crush this need to show Kai affection that he swore would never happen, but he couldn't help himself. He was addicted. "You did stalk me first. I figure is only fair if I return the favor." Even though they both knew good and well by now that there had been no actual stalking involved, Vanya was never going to let Kai live that down. And he shouldn't. If it wasn't for that night, they maybe never would have ended up where they were now. Even if that was even more confusing than the way things had started. Icy blue eyes focused on those big brown ones, catching the way they sparkled in the light. "I was just running around and thought I would come bug you," he shared, even though both of them knew Kai wasn't bothered at all. It was his way though of using an excuse to come see him. "How has it been today? I see you were drawing, so I am guess it has been slow." Vanya leaned over the counter where Kai sat, his fingers drumming over the surface as he kept drinking in the stunning sight of him, completely mesmerized. "This morning when I was leaving, I heard that couple fighting again," Vanya supplied, finding himself more and more invested in the busy lives of Kai's neighbors the more time he spent there. And Kai seemed to love the gossip. It had become this weird guilty pleasure they shared. "I'm pretty sure Mr. Miller has a mistress."

look at me. keep your eyes on me – for vanya and kai ♡

there was also the fact that he felt bad for the fans as well. it was hot in california right now, as it typically always was, and a lot of them were waiting in the blistering heat just to meet them for not even a full two minutes. they were provided water and food, an idea that stemmed from both him and wyatt, but quinn still didn’t feel great about it. he would like to talk to each one for longer but that also didn’t feel fair to the security staff, as well as the other fans in the far back of the line who still wanted to get in their minute and a half ( if that ) with wynn. yes, wynn. once the synopsis was released and fans knew they would play love interests, the online speculation, old pictures of their disney days, and even fanfiction, among many, many other things, had begun to skyrocket, and thus, the ship name wynn was born. quinn especially hated that it had such a nice ring to it. not as much as he hated the enigma that was wyatt jackson, but it was pretty damn up there. he didn’t even want to think of how crazy the fans would get once the actual trailer dropped, but that was a battle for another day. they hadn’t even started filming, so a trailer wouldn’t happen for a while now.

eventually, the sun wasn’t as strong as it was a few hours back, and they finally got time to take a break. he was fully aware that all eyes were on them, even if wyatt had found a spot in the shade, farther away from fans, but quinn knew they had their ways. he could already see a few of them snapping pictures from behind rails and slowly but surely making their own theories, so he had to play nice – they both did. there was only so much privacy they could really have at a place like this either way. of course, there was nothing here he could really eat, and the stuff he could eat, he found repulsive. he wasn’t exactly starving, but he couldn’t say he wasn’t hungry either. he had a pack of organic sea salt seaweed in his pocket and was making his way over to serve himself an extra large cup of water to refill his owala, which he had left on top of the table with wyatt. for now, that would do until their forced get together was over. 

just as he’s walking back, his phone vibrates in his pocket. pulling it out, he mentally reads a text from his mother. quinnlee stokes BE NICE TO THAT MAN!!! quinn rolls his eyes, a bit irritated over how well his mom really knows him, and he’s about to reply with a single hand, eyes too focused on his screen to realize the force in which he sets down the water he had gotten, with no lid on top of course, because his plan was to refill his water bottle. maybe he should have been paying attention or maybe he shouldn’t have filled up the cup as much as he did, but unintentionally, some of the contents make it’s way onto wyatt’s clothes. he’s sure the other won’t believe him when he claims it truly had been an accident, and the way quinn starts laughing doesn’t help his case either. so much for being nice. he chews on his bottom lip to try and contain himself a little, not wanting to draw more attention than they already had on them. instead of doing the right thing, like apologizing and letting wyatt know it was an accident, quinn, of course, takes a different route. “nah, this is just payback for you getting us banned from that spa. i should’ve spilled it all over your head.” he bites back, as if getting banned from that place hadn’t been both their faults. 

of course, he hears wyatt call him an asshole underneath his breath, but this just ignites yet another shit eating, mocking laugh from the other as he grabs what’s left of the cup and starts pouring it into his owala. luckily, it fills up all the way, so maybe spilling some of his water on wyatt had been beneficial after all. he closes the bottle shut completely, to make sure there isn’t another accident, then pulls out the pack of seaweed he had inside the big pocket of his loosely fitted cargo pants and places it on top of the table. he’s about to give some snarky comeback, but then wyatt places a ziplock bag on his lap filled with oreos, and admittedly, it completely catches him off guard, so much so, that he doesn’t reply to his mild level threat over quinn potentially having to shave his head. he blinks, clearly not expecting the gesture. eventually, he grabs the bag from his lap and places it on the table, the expression on his face contorting to one wyatt has never seen before. he bought a small, four pack of oreos to their chemistry read, and frankly, he didn’t think anyone even noticed. “you… got me oreos?” this time, he actually bothers to look at him. “why?” and, for what feels like the first time ever, his tone is actually sounds decent when referring to wyatt, a stark contrast to the usual petty and bitchy way he’s snapped at him before, something quinn never thought would be a reality.

Wyatt didn't understand why he even tried. There was no way he and Quinn were ever going to get along. The tension between them was palpable, but more like in the sense that one of them was going to murder the other. Although Wyatt didn't think he had that trait within him, Quinn might be the exception to the rule. It was like he intentionally found every little thing that drove Wyatt crazy and picked at it and picked at it like a scab, until he was left bleeding and irritated. He figured the hot weather wouldn't do either of them any favors for the day, and Wyatt could already feel his cheeks turning pink, and without a lick of sunscreen on him to do anything about it. He appreciated that Quinn had mostly been relatively easy to deal with today. Maybe it was all of the fans around that kept him grounded, but he actually seemed to enjoy interacting with them, and was kind. It was a refreshing side to see. One that he knew would never be directed his way.

As if on cue, as soon as they were granted a little break, Quinn had to stir shit up by spilling water on him. No matter how much he denied it, Wyatt would never believe that it was unintentional. He might as well have dumped it over his head like he did at the spa. Something Quinn pointed out just a moment later. "I got us banned? It takes two, buddy. It was not all me. It was your fault for being such a little baby about everything. Mr. High Maintenance. I'm surprised you don't have minions surrounding you with fans and an umbrella to keep you from sweating." The water was embarrassing, considering now everyone could see everything beneath his shirt, but with the heat blaring down on them it would likely dry quickly. And admittedly, it felt a little nice. He actually could use some on his face right now, maybe to tone down the redness in his cheeks from the sun, but he definitely wasn't about to admit that.

Defeated, Wyatt went to sit back down across from Quinn, the question drawing his attention again. Or maybe it was the tone in which it was asked. For once he seemed less bratty - more... sincere? Wyatt wasn't sure Quinn had a single sincere bone in his body, but it was such a shock compared to his usual animosity that Wyatt felt compelled not to ignore him. It didn't help that the sun had only done favors to him; making his skin bright and smooth rather than pink and splotchy like his own. It always was, of course, but it was easier to see in the sunlight, and it made his eyes shine brighter too. And Wyatt realized at that moment he was staring. Maybe he could play it off though and pretend it was all from the disbelief of Quinn's decency.

"Yes. I brought them because I saw you eating them before, so I figured you liked them. Deep fried carnival food doesn't really seem like your jam. I didn't want my co-star to die of starvation or wither away." A small laugh bubbled from Wyatt as he drew in a deep breath and attempted to eat the sticky cotton candy. With it being a little wet though, it just left sugary pink crystals on his lips and not much actually made it into his mouth. "There is a booth that has deep fried oreos, but I figured you wouldn't eat those either. I was just..." he trailed, shrugging. "Trying to be nice. Figured it would suck to be here and hungry. Although maybe I should have gone for -" he glanced at the pack of seaweed and wrinkled his nose. "Seaweed instead?" He wasn't trying to judge, but it didn't sound that appealing. Wyatt thought this might be a bonding moment though, so he decided to extend an olive branch. 'What other kinds of snacks do you like?" He asked it like a five-year-old wanting to trade treats at snack time, but at least at that very moment, they weren't being completely hostile toward each other.

where: las vegas, nevada when: sometime in april, 2006

sonny’s first attempt to open his eyes turns into instant regret when a blinding, bright light causes him to immediately shut them again. each eyelid easily felt like a hundred pounds, and his head was honestly killing him. slowly but surely, his eyes flutter open and shut repeatedly until they get used to the light coming in from a window, one he didn’t recognize. in fact, when he starts to really wake up and take in his surroundings, he realizes he doesn’t know where the fuck he’s even at. the last thing he can fully remember is partying in vegas with his bandmates and getting really fucking drunk. after that, it felt like a big chunk of his memory was just gone. with a groan, sonny manages to sit up, dark eyes looking around the room and feeling even more confused than before. first of all, whatever luxurious suite he’s in right now is absolutely trashed, potentially up to the point of no fix. there’s empty bottles and beer cans on the floor, half empty cups of mimosas on just about every table, cigarette butts, a half smoked blunt, several multi-colored loofah’s pretty much… everywhere, pool inflatables all around, pillows all over the floor, a sofa, for whatever reason, is burnt right in the middle, as if someone had been smoking and wanted to put out their cigarette somewhere and couldn’t think of anywhere else to turn it off minus, well, the middle of the fucking sofa. there’s fuzzy dice, pieces of clothing he knows for sure aren’t his, even a couple of pairs of sunglasses with broken lenses and… is that a broken disco ball? in the far end of the room? how the hell does someone manage to break a disco ball? absolutely trashed room aside, what the hell happened last night? sonny brings his hands up to wipe at his eyes, as if that would somehow jog his memory, but it’s then that he feels a piece of cold metal running past his face that he extends his hands to get a better look. the silver skull ring is normal, as well as his usual black nail polish, but holy fuck, what the fuck is that on his left ring finger?

there’s a silver ring, with two dice on it, one he knows for damn sure he’s never had before. “what the fuck?” he whispers to himself, swallowing thickly as he tries to think of what happened. that’s when he looks to his right, and surely, someone is stomach down, butt naked beside him on the king sized bed, with an ass the size of fucking texas. that someone, much to sonny’s absolute horror, is a man. he can’t see his face because it’s turned the other way, but he knows damn well it’s a man. “oh my god.” he lets out nervously, lifting up the covers slightly to see if he was naked. he immediately puts them back down and swallows thickly when he confirms that he is, in fact, fully naked, next to a guy who is also fully naked, sound asleep on his stomach beside him, blissfully unaware of the situation at hand. oh god, he was gonna be sick. to make matters worse, it suddenly hits him just how sore he feels… behind there. like, almost achingly sore. he's trying his hardest not to freak out, but that's proven to be difficult with everything going on all at once. how drunk did he get last night? who is this guy beside him? why is the room such a fucking mess? these unanswered questions are making his head spin, increasing his already pulsing migraine. he shuts his eyes and rubs his temples, hoping to open them and be at home, in his own bed, away from this nightmare of a situation. of course, even he isn’t delusional enough to really believe that, and opening his eyes again reminds him that he has to face the music. he peaks over at the male asleep beside him, which only increases the sudden nausea he felt. that was tate fucking evans, the one guy the media tried to constantly pin him against. a friend once upon a time, many moons ago back in high school, before sonny had vanished without another word, and as if matters couldn’t get any worse, he spots the same exact dumb dice ring on his left hand, right on his ring finger as well. he runs his hands past his face. “oh my god, oh my god, why me? why me?” he mutters to himself, his breathing increasing with nerves and a big lump forming in his throat. gently, he shakes the other. “wake up.” when that doesn’t work, out of desperation, sonny starts anxiously shaking him. “oh my god, wake up tate, fucking wake up!”

"Dude! You're fucking ripped," Tate complimented, pressing a palm to Sonny's chest as if this was the first time seeing all his muscles. "What's going on though? Is the hotel on fire, or something? Are you okay?" Still completely oblivious to the fact that he was buck-naked and uncovered, Tate's gaze shifted from Sonny to the rest of the hotel room, which was absolutely bonkers. He'd seen many a trashed hotel room and participated in the act itself, but never this badly. Usually it was minimal enough damage that he could just leave the maid an extra large tip and be good to go. "Holy shit, what happened in here? I don't remember anything from the night before, do you?" He pushed himself out of bed, only then realizing as he saw his reflection in the mirror that he didn't have anything on at all. "Shit. Sorry man. Didn't mean to give you a show," he joked, cheeks a little warm as he reached for his boxer briefs and slid them back on. Tate didn't really have much shame, and he knew his body looked good, but he had never been like this with Sonny before. He'd thought about it, definitely, but never had. He wasn't even sure he was into guys. And yet here they were, waking up together. "Do you think we fucked?" He asked bluntly, as he inspected the broken disco ball with a wince. "Just wondering. I always sleep really good after sex, and I was out cold." Tate set the pieces of broken glass down carefully and moved over to the burned couch, this time cringing dramatically. "How much do you think they're gonna charge us for all this mess? I know I was lit, but I didn't do all this myself," he said with a heavy sigh and rubbed at his head. It was then that he felt the cold metal and glanced down at the ring on his finger. "Oh, hey! Look! Not sure where I got it but this ring is pretty badass!" He lifted it to show Sonny, then realized he was wearing one too. "Dude, we match! Are we besties now or something?"

all he could do was focus on the gorgeous man beside him, who had decided to shut his eyes the moment he told him to stay. this didn't exactly bother kai though, because that meant he could admire his beauty without him realizing, and god, was he absolutely breathtaking. his golden locks were luscious and slightly untamed from having sex, his lips were plump and the softest rosy shade he could imagine, almost as if asking to be kissed, and his eyes? his eyes were on a whole other level and really deserved a category of their own. kai didn't even need to be looking at them now to remember the impact they had on him. lighter eyes tended to shift color depending on the lighting, but for the most part, they were the deepest shade of blue. his look was so mesmerizing to kai, he felt his insides heat up, the effect the other had on him being impossible to ignore.

his words weren't surprising. what was he expecting after all? they weren't anything, yet, that didn't stop the look of disappointment that spread across his features, the slightest pout forming on his lips. he wants to reply, but decides against saying anything, afraid to come off as needy and resemble a high schooler with a crush. kai can’t be too sure how the expression on his face reads, but he knows he doesn’t look too thrilled, and maybe vanya notices it too, because the moment they lock eyes, vanya lets out a sigh and much to his surprise, gets back under his bed covers and snuggles up beside him again, digging his face into the crook of his neck. without a second thought, kai's fingertips run through the other’s hair soothingly, the pout soon turning into a full blown smile, a content sigh following. “well… yeah, sometimes. i can suck more if you want me to.” he knew that wasn’t what he meant, but he couldn’t help but joke about the double meaning behind it, not too sure vanya would understand right away, but really hoping he would.

“hmm, i don’t know, maybe…” without warning, he flips them over so now he’s sitting on top of him, straddling his waist with his legs on his sides. “some more of this?” he leans down and kisses him softly. kai doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of kissing him. he’s already put on his oversized, baggy britney spears t shirt and a pair of sky blue colored short shorts, but he wouldn’t mind getting naked for him again. “we can also watch america’s next top model. i hate-watch that show sometimes, specifically the makeover episodes.” he says, grinning down at him sweetly, so tenderly, with an energy only kai can radiate. the grin dies down when he hears what vanya has to say next. he doesn’t like it when he brings himself down like that. it confuses kai because he isn’t sure why he would assume he isn’t good company or that kai wouldn’t want him around, when all he can do is think of him when he isn’t present. it’s actually pretty pathetic how much space he takes up in kai’s head.

because you’re the one person who manages to calm me down. because you’re so easy to talk to. because i’m more comfortable around you than i am with anyone i know, it feels like i’ve known you forever. because i like spending time with you and having you around even if we aren’t doing anything. because you don’t judge me for my niche and nerdy hobbies. because you’re so beautiful, it actually feels like my insides are turning to mush just looking at you. because you took my virginity and made me feel things i’ve never felt before and now i don’t know how to quit you and i don’t think i want to either. because you’re… you, and that’s more than enough for me. these thoughts are some of the many things kai can list, but he settles on something a lot less deep, not wanting to scare vanya away. “i mean, who else would listen to me go on and on about the most random things without telling me to shut up? anyone who doesn’t groan or roll their eyes when i’m a minute into my nerd rant is good company for me. also… we have pretty good sex.” that felt like a safe response, and while it wasn’t as raw as he’d like to be, he wasn’t lying. “i also want to show you something, but you have to promise me you’re not gonna laugh at me.”

His eyelashes fluttered at the fingers softly running through his hair. Vanya had realized quickly on that he loved when Kai played with his hair. It felt so lovely, and made him feel more at peace than most things. He couldn't help but lean into the touch, like a cat getting pets. "I mean, I would never say no to more sucking," he mumbled into Kai's neck, his breath tickling his sweet, velvety skin. "You are very good at it." As much as Vanya reminded himself every time he was at Kai's that they were only supposed to be fooling around and then leave, he found himself retreating from that pact. He had always been tough, and good at saying no, but all of that crumbled around Kai. He had become such a sap; one that his friends would never let live down in they knew it.

A soft gasp tumbled from the blonde as he was unexpectedly flipped onto his back. He had to admit, as much as he liked being in charge, sometimes he didn't mind when Kai surprised him like this. Actually, he quite enjoyed it. More than he was supposed to. Really, kissing had only been a part of foreplay for Vanya. A segway into sex, and one that he often abandoned in favor of it. Once again though, Kai had shaken that up as well. He liked kissing Kai. A lot. So much that it was hard to stop sometimes once he got going. And although the one he'd been given was soft and sweet, Vanya's lips reciprocated in slow presses, his mouth dancing against Kai's. He never felt the need to rush with him - the opposite of his usual sexcapades. Vanya's head tilted back to deepen the kiss, his eyes a dreamy stare as they parted.

"Mm, I will not say no to that if you want it," Vanya promised, his palms dragging along the backs of Kai's thighs and up under the hem of his brightly colored shorts, teasing his backside. "America's Next Top Model?" Vanya asked, an eyebrow arching in confusion. "I have heard of it, but never seen this show. You hate-watch it? What does that mean? It sounds terrible if you hate it. Please explain. Or we can watch it, if you want, and you can show me." There was no fucking way he could say no to that beaming face. The way it faded though confused Vanya, unsure of what he'd said wrong. He was staying, not leaving, and happy to watch the show with him. However, it all started to make a little more sense as Kai answered his question. He'd kind of forgotten he'd even asked, honestly. It had been more rhetorical than anything.

Kai was so sweet, and Vanya felt a protectiveness swell inside at his words. Yes, Kai was kind of a nerd at times, but he liked that about him. There was no danger - no fear, no mistrust. The opposite of what he was used to with both family, and friends. His earnestness was something Vanya admired, and it made him feel comfortable. So for anyone to be against that and not want to listen to his wholesome stories, didn't deserve him in Vanya's opinion. Then again, neither did he. "We do have pretty good sex. Even if it makes your neighbors hate us," Vanya mused, a soft smile returning to his lips as he gazed up at Kai with some kind of adoration that was new to him. "I do not mind your stories. You know about a lot of things. They are random, but I find them comforting." Vanya wasn't sure his word choice was correct, but he hoped the sentiment carried through.

"I make no promises," Vanya countered, though his ocean orbs glittered with playfulness. "But I will try. Please show me." Vanya had no idea what to expect; it could range from a random collection of items to something he'd drawn. Regardless, he found himself interested to see.

of course, he would love to attend with vanya, but frankly, kai never thought he would agree. it didn’t seem like his vibe, so he had been hesitant to even ask him because he was deeply afraid of being rejected by him. that wasn’t purely vanya’s fault and had more to do with his own traumas and fears, the constant voice in the back of his head that told him that he was undeserving and that he simply just… wasn’t good enough. he felt like that was the main reason why vanya didn’t want anything real with him. of course, he could factor in the many other aspects, like the fact that it was obvious the other was practically a slavic rock when it came to communicating and feelings, but kai felt like at his core, that had to be the number one reason, even if vanya told him otherwise. it was hard feeling worthy when his entire life, he’s been judged so heavily in a physical aspect, making him feel inferior, even by people who meant the criticism with the best intentions. when it came to vanya though, kai would take whatever he could get. his crush on him was honestly ridiculous at this point, but he couldn’t for the life of him stay away. he’s never done drugs before, but he can imagine that this is what it must feel like to be addicted to something, to crave a high. when vanya wasn’t with him, he was thinking of what they could do the next time they saw each other. it was so fucking pathetic and embarrassing.

imagine his surprise when somehow, someway, he had convinced vanya to come with him. his excitement was far too evident in the way he jumped up and down and gave the tiniest squeal of approval, squeezing the other’s shoulder and insisting he would have a ton of fun, something kai couldn’t exactly promise, but he at least hoped he didn’t hate it. he’d probably be one of the few non-asians there, but everyone was always really nice. of course, kai was already going on and on about the lunar new year, resembling one of those deep dive channels on youtube, but all of this knowledge was inside his big, nerdy head. the history, the traditions, though most of the fun facts were about the korean lunar new year because of course, he was biased and he was far too familiar with it. he can’t be sure if vanya is fully listening, if he understands every word he’s saying, if he can even hear him with how loud it is here or if he’s completely zoned out, but he goes on and on, eyes shining like a kid on christmas morning, and he’s smiling so damn wide as he rambles like a fucking encyclopedia because okay, maybe this is better than having sol here, something he would never verbally admit to her, of course, but something about vanya’s prescense puts him at such ease. even with the large number of people that were attending this year, all he could focus on was him, and feeding him facts and facts on subjects he never asked for, yet still let him go on and on about.

there was a lot of noise, whether it was conversations all around or music livening up the place, but regardless, it was rather loud, definitely the definition of sensory overload for some people. a lot of people were walking by them, and kai wanted to think that they were doing a good job with staying out of people’s way, but then a group of younger guys, definitely in their teens, practically zoomed by, some running and laughing, one in skates, and one, funnily enough, on a hoverboard, like they were being transported back to 2017 or something. he just so happens to be the one to knock into kai from behind with such force, he can’t even react. he feels himself jolt forward and lose his balance, having no time to try and maintain his balance. vanya grabs him by the arms and steadies him to prevent him from coming face to face with the floor and god, as if he isn’t already smitten enough with this man, he has to go and do that. kai doesn’t answer right away, feeling his insides churn and heat up all at once, immediately melting the moment they lock eyes. he’s so taken by him, he wants to push him against the nearest wall and kiss him, but he does something far deeper than that. kai grabs his hand and intertwines their fingers, his warm touch mixing with his cooler one. “i am now.” he replies, the smallest hint of a nervous grin forming on his lips.

there’s a moment where kai thinks vanya might subtly push his hand away, reject him the way kai is so convinced he deserves, but then he also lets his fingers hug his own and, well, kai’s smile grows in size, the unknown yet welcoming feeling once again settling in the pit of his stomach, a feeling only vanya has ever gotten out of him. “i can’t believe he’s riding a hoverboard. like it’s the 2010’s. in this slippery, cold concrete – he’s gonna fall.” he says, mostly as some kind of distraction to what was happening between them, but it’s like his words were set in stone, because surely, the kid falls back on his ass, probably losing his balance on some black ice, causing kai to scrunch up his nose. “told you.” but he’s up on his feet again, thankfully, not before being laughed at by his supposed friends, but at least he’s okay. when he feels the other’s grip tighten as another larger crowd passed them by, kai’s instinctively runs his thumb over vanya’s knuckles to try and soothe him. it’s kind of crazy how something as little as a touch is making his heartbeat accelerate a ridiculous amount. he has to try and get it together.

of course, that’s proven to be difficult when they lock eyes again, the mix of vanya’s gaze and his soft, aqua colored hues causing kai’s breath to catch in his throat. how someone who looks like an actual greek god can bother to even want to spend time with him, kai doesn’t know, but he’s too wonderstruck to really focus on anything besides vanya. as if mimicking him, kai immediately smiles back, but his is a lot bigger, eyes crinkling with pure joy. “you enjoy my boring lectures.” he teases in return, his eyes momentarily darting to his lips before meeting his once more. “you know, those places also have vietnamese coffee with or without boba, if you don’t want to give up your usual coffee.” he knew he drank his coffee black. maybe boba tea would be too sweet for him, or maybe he might really like it. he could never fully know with vanya. he was like a mystery wrapped inside an enigma perfectly stitched together by the most puzzling conundrum. kai couldn’t stay away. he didn’t want to either way. “let’s go so i can give you one of my boring lectures.”

He stuck out like a sore thumb in the crowd even more than usual, but Vanya really didn't give a shit what anyone else thought anyway. He was here for Kai, which was also new. Vanya didn't often do things for people without reason. He'd been used enough as a teenager, that as an adult, it was a rule he tried to abide by. It was his time to be selfish. Like with everything though, Kai seemed to be the exception to that rule, and every other one Vanya had made up and stuck to for years. It was a little annoying just how easily he could be swayed by Kai, and yet, he had no defense to it.

Despite the hesitance in being there, when hoverboard boy nearly took Kai down to the ground, Vanya realized he was glad he was there to look out for him. Not that Kai couldn't handle his own, but even the thought of him getting busted up tied Vanya's stomach in knots. He just wanted to protect him and keep him safe and... he didn't know anymore. He just would have hunted down that asshole if he actually did any more damage. Thankfully Kai was alright and Vanya wouldn't have to go to jail for beating up some punk-ass kid. His eyes widened a little as he felt soft fingers weave into his own, and the temptation to bat him away or drop his hand was there, but Vanya didn't fight it. He actually liked the way it felt. It was nice. Safe. Comforting. Many things he didn't get from anyone except Kai. Tentatively he squeezed his hand, allowing their fingers to stay slotted together as they began walking again.

Vanya laughed at Kai's ribbing about the hoverboard, because, he wasn't wrong. The guy looked like a moron, and he felt it would serve him right if he did fall and get busted up. Not a lot, but just a little - enough to teach him a lesson. Vanya wasn't really one to wish ill will on a person, but a little minor snag wasn't going to kill him. Just as predicted, moments later, the guy was careening from the slippery ice, mostly unfazed. "Karma," Vanya said stoically, though he cracked a smile as he stole a glance Kai's way. "For almost knocking you down." The crowds were a lot, and as much as he hated to acknowledge it, Kai's thumb dancing over his knuckles did in fact, put him at ease. As if to thank him, Vanya's hand squeezed Kai's again - a silent little sign of affection. His body reacted and did it before his mind could stop him.

His eyes were light, almost dancing as he gave Kai a little hell about his lectures. Truth be told, Kai wasn't wrong; he did enjoy those rants. There wasn't a way to explain it really, he just did. But Vanya couldn't give in that easily without a little feigned stubbornness. "Yes, I do. They are very good when I am having trouble sleeping. I just start running your matcha lecture through my head and then, bam. Asleep like a baby." Vanya bit his lip to restrain a smile, but it deceived him anyway and escaped, almost grinning as brightly as Kai. Which, he didn't even think was physically possible. Vanya's voice was so dry that people usually couldn't tell when he was joking. Then again, he wasn't exactly playful around others. Like everything else though, it was different with Kai. He could rib him and usually Kai picked up on the sarcasm.

"I will try the tea. or coffee. Maybe we can try both? I am not afraid orfsomething sweet." He did like desserts, after all, even if it wasn't something he ate very often. "Just as long as I get to try the squishy little boba pearls. I have always wanted to," he admitted, it completely unbeknownst to him that on instinct he was pulling Kai closer into his side, without breaking their hand-holding. "But yes, please explain the history to me. I would like to know what I am drinking. Then I will steal it at the booth and they will think I am sooo smart." His eyes wandered around the various booths and displays, yet they always seemed to land back on Kai. At one point he'd been caught, and his cheeks flamed red.

It didn't take long until they had finally found what they were looking for, and although he was still holding his hand, Vanya let Kai take the lead. He knew what he was doing and what they were looking for. Vanya was more or less around for the ride. And though he expected to tune out the conversation between Kai and the vendor about things he didn't totally understand, he instead looked on, a growing fondness in his eyes as he held his hand even tighter. The things this guy was doing to him made Vanya feel crazy, and so fucking scared. But even though he stood out in the crowd, when Kai was around he always kind of felt like he belonged.