✘ intermission ✘

Just hearing that name is enough for Len’s heart to jump into his stomach. He takes a moment to think about how absurd that question is. It’s been years, at this point! Mikuo who? He wants to say hell no and mean it but that would be a lie. Instead, the blond does his best to keep a collected composure. This isn’t easy, considering the crater in his chest now being hollowed out by thoughts of his stupid ex boyfriend. 

“Does it even matter? That was so long ago, I mean.” Len chuckles dryly before shaking his head, a weak attempt to look less like a kicked puppy and more like someone who has moved on like a normal, healthy person. “He dumped me right after graduation, you think that was love? Pfft. Am I still in love with him? Get real.” The answer is yes and yes. 

Even if they weren’t twins everything about Len’s reaction screams the truth-- from his expression to his body language and even down to the carefully crafted response that he had delivered as it was neither a yes nor no. And this confirmation that her brother has not moved on from his first love, after all, even all these years later makes Rin’s chest ache for him. These are the moments where, whether he is aware of it or not, Len can reel the young woman right in like fish hooked onto bait. Before she even realizes what she is doing much less refrain from the action her body is moving of it’s own accord, thin arms gently wrapping around the male’s form so that she can draw him close.

“I share my infinite wisdom with you and that’s how you thank me?” Len feigns a look more hurt than he actually he is. Honestly, he isn’t hurt at all from being smacked with a cushion, nor does he have any knowledgable ‘wisdom’ worth sharing. He cannot help but be honest with Rin, however. It’s easier to be an annoying brother, rather than one who is serious, let alone protective. “Yeah, yeah, you can do whatever you want.”

“Can we stop talk about relationships, then?” He mutters while pushing his hands behind his head, using a couple fingers to untie his hair, which easily passes his shoulders now. Len’s relationship status has been sadly single for a remarkable amount of time now, on account of him ‘working on himself,’ or whatever reason he tells himself. “It’s kind of depressing.” The blond admits, being the absolute drama queen he is. 

Rin lowers the cushion when she realizes that her brother has no intentions of retaliating, choosing now to hug the soft object to her chest, arms locking around it as she casts the other a long glance. His comment has piqued her interest, gaze quickly lowering as her mouth goes dry. Her previous determination to never bring up the ‘Mikuo topic’ is diminishing as time drawls on, throat suddenly dry as the words threaten to spill past her lips. 

This little silent arrangement made between the two has been working in their favor and while their relationship is on the mend she knows better than to speak on this subject as no answer Len can provide will ever be worth destroying that of which they are in the midst of repairing. And yet before she even realizes that it is happening, her mouth is parting, voice hoarse but uncharacteristically gentle and soft as she makes the inquiry known, 

“He’s always been the kind of guy who plays it safe. Stable, but… stale.” Len’s harsh criticism didn’t come from a hateful place. In fact, when they were all much younger, the blond looked up to Kaito as a role model. Someone who was never in trouble, always made good grades, and continued to be well-liked by everyone. After Len discovered his rebellious streak, all that went out the window. 

Even now, as much as he appreciated being on better (not yet good, but better) terms with Rin, he begins to wonder how much she will tell him about her love life. Or, lack thereof. “Hot, sure, but I’ve learned my lesson about dating coworkers. Pass.” While he was speaking from earnest experience, Len is also speaking through a veil of hypocrisy considering he’s always flirting with other teachers at work. He considers it harmless, but can’t imagine Rin being able to detach her feelings in the same fashion. 

“You’ve gotta go out more if you wanna meet people and work doesn’t count. Plus, I don’t wanna be coworkers with a guy who’s boning my sister.” 

She can’t argue with his comment as it’s one the blonde agrees with so she simply nods her head, reaction confirming that his opinion is one of the few Rin approves of. His following remarks, however? They instantly earn him a whack over the side of the head with one of the soft cushions upon the sofa once she sits upright, the weapon already raised above her head in preparation to deliver another attack if necessary.

“LEN! Gross! Can you do me a favor and never refer to me or my sex life in the same sentence ever again!?” 

She fluffs the pillow menacingly, a warning should he dare be foolish enough to test her threat. And although she knows he is only trying to offer her well-meaning advice that can only be learned through personal experience she still rolls her eyes, lips puckering out into a pout much like that of a child. 

“Yikes.” Len looks over at Rin, slightly surprised. He isn’t sure about the terms his sister left on with her ex and is uncertain about asking for the details. All he knew was that they weren’t together by the time she moved away for college. The world is small enough and the thought of running into Mikuo now made his stomach drop quickly. 

“There’s nothin’ wrong with being here. Maybe he moved away and came back, who cares.” He turned back to the television promptly while he tried to silently shake off the anxiety of his own failed romantic relationships. “You gonna try to, uh, like, date him again?”

His reaction draws a laugh from her, the tension that had previously been brewing inside of her slowly beginning to seep out. “That was my exact same reaction. He even came over and gave me a hug. It was awful.”

Naturally, after thinking he has a day to himself, Rin barges through the door of what used to be his apartment. He doesn’t even look up from the television as she falls onto the couch and throws hers legs over his lap. Len doesn’t bat an eye, but instead picks up the remote control and continues to flip through channels. 

“I dunno. Who?”

He doesn’t care to guess, considering his social interactions greatly declined before he started his new job. More responsibility, less time to be self destructive, or whatever. That meant saying no to going out all the time, and apparently meant saying yes to housing his sister. In turn, that also meant welcoming two new flatmates: Rin, and a cat she rescued from god knows where. 

“Kaito.” 

She doesn’t bother building up the suspense, choosing instead to allow the name to hang heavily in the air as she shifts in an attempt to get more comfortable.

For most people the prospect of reuniting with their best friend after years of being apart for so long would leave one feeling ecstatic but Rin is no normal girl and the knots in her stomach are growing increasingly harder to ignore the closer she nears to Mikuo’s apartment. It’s not that she doesn’t miss him-- quite the opposite of that, really, as Mikuo has steadily risen far above best friend status and in Rin’s eyes he is more of a platonic soulmate than anything. He just gets her. 

Which is, ironically, the sole reason that she is so hesitant over seeing him in person again. He knows her like a book-- inside and out,  pretty and ugly. He has been a firsthand witness to every possible side of her and was the only person to remain faithfully by her side through all of the highs and lows that carved her path to adulthood. Loyal to her even when she’d been thousands of miles away. As such, Mikuo has been her confidant for years and while Rin has never kept secrets from him before he is surprisingly unaware of the depth of her problems lately as she’s made sure to be vague and does not divulge with him the details. And the only reasoning behind it is none other than her pride and the unrelenting, nagging thought that he just might be disappointed in her should the entire truth be revealed. Perhaps disappointed with her for being such a failure of an adult thus far after being such an astounding student by comparison. 

And although she knows deep down in her heart that he would never think so lowly of her (much less anyone else for that matter as he has always been inherently kind and caring) the negativity still persists. Rin darts her tongue out to swipe it quickly along her dry lips, the hands that are gripping grocery bags filled with various snacks beginning to shake as she ascends the stairs to his door. She doesn’t want to talk about her issues which is undoubtedly what Mikuo would want to do because she knows that once she says it aloud  it will be admitting that she has a serious problem which is why he cannot find out for now. The reality of such an admission frightens her far too much to consider facing it head-on just yet and instead she wants to successfully keep up with this carefully crafted facade but the blonde is more than aware that if there is anyone capable of seeing straight through her like a shard of fragile glass then it is no one other than Mikuo Hatsune. 

The excitement mixing with her anxiety is overwhelming, stifling her breath as she comes to a pause just a few feet away from the entrance. Before she has time to attempt to collect herself the door swings open without warning to reveal behind it the equally eager figure that she has longed to see. A smile is instantly plastered across her face, light never quite reaching her eyes. 

‘Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry,’ the mantra repeats itself within her head as she all too eagerly closes the distance between them.

“M-Mikuo...!” Just one look at him and it’s as if every single thing that she has been dealing with and bottling up suddenly reaches it’s boiling point, spiraling and overflowing beyond her control.

Her voice breaks right on time along with the dam that had been previously keeping her tears at bay as she bends over, swooping down to throw her arms around the male’s neck, the plastic bags falling from her arms to clatter onto the ground beside the two from the sudden movement. And even though Rin told herself not to, she is now standing in the doorway of her friend’s home and wailing loudly, grip on him only tightening rather than mercifully loosening up.

Being kicked out on such short notice came as a shock and to avoid being homeless for however long it would take for her to find a new home desperate measures had to be taken. She’d had to suck up her pride and do something she hoped would never happen to her again: move in with Len. A little over a month had passed since the two had finally made up to the best of their ability and although they still had their bad days-- their highs and their lows-- aside from a few small, petty arguments and butting heads here and there things had been going rather smooth. 

So once she walks inside from a long day out and sees Len seated on the sofa in the living room, attention drawn to the television, she feels no shame in plopping down beside him dramatically, feet resting comfortably in his lap as her gaze settles on the ceiling above. Something has been bothering her greatly today and Mikuo must be busy for he has yet to respond to her 4 paragraph text message frenzy and she could use a bit of coddling for the time it takes for her best friend to get back to her.

“So...”

Much to his chagrin, his attempt to settle the animosity is unsurprisingly rejected. He can’t blame Rin for being so reserved at this point, considering there’s been more wreckage done to their relationship than he cares to admit. There comes a point of no return. A breaking point. Len tells himself that it hasn’t gotten that bad, with much uncertainty. Like his sister, though, he can only handle so much dismissal. Am I just wasting my breath?

“Your friends, huh?” Len repeats coldly and looks directly at Rin, expression abandoning any remnants of his previous laughter. “Sure. They seem to be dying to talk to you.” He gestures indifferently to the otherwise empty room and eyes her cell phone, which is also silent. 

“But since we’re speaking between coworkers, it’s not my priority to make sure you’re alright. Not my problem, y’know?” Without skipping a beat, he harshly snatches the water bottle he gave her and tightly constricts his hand around the plastic. It crackles in protest underneath the blond’s rough grip. 

“But if you see my sister, tell her I’m sick of her shitty ass attitude.” 

Len, once again bubbling with rage, turns his back on Rin to simply get her out of his field of vision. Bringing his arm back, he forcefully hurls the half-consumed bottle against the wall closest to the trash can. It collides against the bricks with a loud smack and clatters to the ground. Before allowing the other to respond, he goes to silently collect the forgotten papers on the counter and heads for the door, with full intention to grade them after chain-smoking in the parking lot once more. 

Though she’s certain that his reaction won’t be a pleasant one the aggression she receives is completely unexpected and even though she’s aware that her brother would never actually physically hurt her such a thought isn’t enough to refrain her from jolting, recoiling away from him as her heart pounds in her ears when the smack of plastic meeting brick echoes throughout the room. So much for keeping this quiet and only between the two of them. She wouldn’t be surprised if they both became the topic of discussion by the end of the week among all their other coworkers. 

His insults only add more fuel to the ever-burning flame, chest constricting painfully at the comment on her popularity (or lack thereof) but she clenches her fists, nails digging into her palms; the sting caused by her action grounding her so that she doesn’t do something stupid. She’s always had a rather horrible habit of acting before thinking things through and it’s something that has gotten her into trouble more times than could be counted. So this time she simply attempts to focus on her breathing so that the panic attack she’d been fighting off before can, hopefully, remain at bay. In and out slowly. 

Her eyes prick with tears once more but just like before, she refuses to let them surface, choosing instead to storm over to where her twin stands, huffing and before he can reach for the door she is blocking it, jutting her chin out in mock-bravery despite how her hands quiver in response to the onslaught of emotions that she is feeling. If he could just see things from her point of view for once then maybe-- just maybe-- there’s a chance this whole family reunion plot that he seems to be uncharacteristically hopeful for can actually come to some sort of fruition. 

“YOU DON’T HAVE A SISTER ANYMORE!” 

Her voice is shrill, cracking with emotion as the thin string of her composure finally snaps, tears blurring her vision as arms spread out-- a silent dare for him to try and brush past her before she’s able to finish her part.

“What do you WANT from me, Len!? You want me to just pretend like nothing happened between us when we were a bunch of teenagers? Do you really expect me to just open my arms back up to you after all of the shit you’ve put me through!?” He doesn’t have a chance to reply because she is already quickly speaking again, breath hitching as her tone rises, “Why can’t you ever just think about how I fucking feel!? You apologized to me-- no, you said a simple, half-assed ‘sorry’ to me once and then you just expected me to coddle you like I always do and got angry when I didn’t! You want for me to forgive you, Len? You want for the two of us to get back to how we used to be if it’s even possible!? Then why don’t you grow the fuck up, man the fuck up, apologize to me like you actually mean it and then PROVE IT!” 

Chest rises and falls rapidly as she struggles to regain her breath, nerves going into overdrive as she turns so that she can open the door for him now, palm smacking against it so loudly that it reverberates yet she doesn’t even wince from the pain of doing so.

It is relatively easy to navigate through this exchange with Rin because of a few reasons, all of which are simple. Len Kagamine, notorious for easily going through a pack of cigarettes once a week (usually less), is fully aware of how he smells. An easy five years of smoking means your nose isn’t as alert as it could be, due to a daily routine of desensitization, but he’s not ignorant to people’s reactions to cigarettes in public. Scowling, faking coughs, walking away, and even aggressive behavior aren’t uncommon. The man has also been notorious for not caring about people’s opinion.

Another reason for the seemingly smooth exchange is because Len can grade the assignments he was given in under an hour. There is no sense of urgency to assess a homework assignment that is one-part student’s interests written in chicken scratch and one-part parent signatures. What is the rush to give every student an ‘A’ for completion? There is none. The same way there is no reason for the blond to snap at his sister for remarking on his scent. 

Lastly, it doesn’t take a genius to see when someone is having a hard time. Len is certainly no genius, but he chooses not to comment on Rin rejecting, then accepting, the water bottle. Trying to embarrass her for that, or her obvious exhaustion, would be too easy; he would rather embarrass her for reasons such as ogling at some of the male teachers they work with, or wearing two different socks.

Instead of picking at her for any of these things, he listens to her speak before saying anything. He doesn’t want to continue arguing with Rin, or to make things worse, somehow. 

Len looks curiously at her while she shuffles through her bag and before he knows it, he’s being showered with a mist of what smells like tangerines and strawberries. He makes the mistake of accidentally breathing in some the perfume and chokes at the bitter taste. 

“Pffbtthhh.” Cough. “Thanks. Anything else?” He replies sarcastically, a tone that he frequently speaks with, trying to keep his composure. A part of him want to spitefully light up a cigarette in retaliation, but he knows better at this point. Instead, he lets himself laugh at the situation because god knows smelling like perfume is better than cigarettes. 

A moment of brief silence passes before he remembers that he doesn’t actually want to be given any more busy work. Len looks away for a moment, still trying to proceed with caution. 

“So.. you gonna tell me what’s stressin’ you out today, or should I keep assuming it’s me?”

His laughter serves as a temporary ailment, expression softening as she smiles at the scene and how utterly nostalgic it is. She had forgotten just how badly she had missed hearing his laugh and seeing his smile; how badly she had missed his presence in all the years they’d been apart. Their relationship had gone through so many swaps and turmoils that it felt near-impossible to ever be capable of being mended and her thoughts wander. She remembers how, at their youngest, she had always relied heavily on Len to care for her moreso than she did with their parents and as they had grown older that dependency had shifted and she had eventually slid into the role of the caretaker, always desperately attempting to clean up the seemingly endless messes that Len had begun to leave around both figuratively and metaphorically. 

And after she had finally had enough and reached her breaking point following one particularly troubling situation the bond had been severed, the two determined to live their lives void of the other who had been with them through the most. She wishes she could break down the walls that have been built so firmly around what remains of her trust but just when she thinks that there’s a chance that they can become close once more all of the hurt and pain from the years before come flooding back-- reminding her, warning her that nothing good will ever come from being close with her twin. 

So even though it frustrates her and upsets her more than she is ever willing to let on the blonde feels as her posture straightens, expression beginning to harden as her guard comes flaring back up, instantly on the defense as she turns away to busy herself with gathering her supplies together so that she isn’t left scrambling to get it done when her lunch hour finally ends. 

“I’m tired, Len, not stressed. You can assume whatever you’d like to but even if there was something on my mind it wouldn’t be anything worth consulting with a coworker.”

It came to no surprise to hear Rin’s voice while he rinsed his hands, not even batting an eye at such a warm welcome. The tone in her voice was notably less hostile than usual. Although Len practically vanished from her life after high school, he still knows her well enough to sense when something is wrong. And something is wrong. The blond also knows that bombarding her with questions such as ‘what’s wrong’ or ‘are you okay’ is not the way to get her to open up. It’s a recipe for ‘butt out, leave me alone.’ No thanks.

Instead, he turns the running faucet off, wipes his hands on the fabric of his pants and crosses his arms to gauge the damage. She seems out of it, but he decides it’s nothing he can’t handle. 

“Thanks. I know.” 

Len moves otherwise silently from the counter to the refrigerator and grabs a bottle of water  from inside, internally trying to devise a way to uncover whatever is bothering the young woman. He takes a few steps towards his sister while keeping a comfortable distance, as not to spook the wild beast. 

“I’m about half-way finished grading the homework. Got anything else?” That’s a lie. He has yet to start grading papers that he has already forgotten on the counter. Len sets the bottle of water in front of Rin and takes a seat on the table a couple feet away from her. He doesn’t know if she’s been staying hydrated or sleeping, based on how tired she looks. It’s a small gesture, but this past week has been nothing but tension for them.

For a long time, he had a twin to look after him, regardless of if he realized it or not. It was taken for granted, without a doubt. Being without that support for a couple years left Len uncertain on how to look after the other without being too intrusive, or not involved enough. The wall built between the two has to come down eventually, or that’s what Len tells himself. 

“Anytime.”

Rin crocks a brow at his question as she observes him, knowing that although her brother may claim to be a changed man there are some things that he will never grow out of. Being a procrastinator is one of them. “Oh yeah?” The smirk spreads across her lips before she can refrain from it, hand stretching out expectantly, “Let me see all of this progress you’ve made, then.” The laugh that follows is one void of emotion as Rin suddenly remembers where she is and who she’s with and what their deal consists of. And poking fun at one another like a couple of old chumps sure as hell isn’t a part of it. She quickly flattens her palms against the tops of her thighs, gaze breaking away to lazily observe the screen of her cellphone when it lights up with a notification. 

“...Never mind. I’ll see it once you turn it all in.”

Watching, now, as he places the water bottle in front of her and settles into a chair at one of the opposite tables earns the male a scoff, arms crossing over her chest stubbornly. “I’m not thirsty.” But at that moment her stomach chooses to grumble and her expression morphs into a grimace as she’s suddenly unable to remember the last time she’d eaten a proper meal that didn’t consist of coffee, energy drinks, or fast food from a drive-thru window. It’s only with mild embarrassment does she quickly snatch the bottle that had been previously rejected-- unscrewing the top quickly to take a much needed swig.

With a stack of papers held in one hand and a cigarette loosely hanging from the lips, a certain teacher’s assistant half-heartedly flips through ungraded assignments. It was busy work from Rin for both their students and Len. Only a week ago, the two had rather colorful things to say to one another. Now, they are hardly speaking, other than the occasional pleasantries of good morning, or bye (though was anything but pleasant).

Len drags at his cigarette, nearly burned to the filter already, and turns his wrist over to note the time. Still another twenty minutes of designated ‘lunch time.’ The past week of said time was spent avoiding his sister, instead taking his breaks in the library. Today the blond decides on a lunch consisting of smoking in the parking pot while drinking shitty coffee from the school’s main office. He puffs once more and stomps out the end of his smoke, then stuffs the crushed filter into his pocket.

As it turns out, however, wrangling kids all day is exhausting and requires something more substantial. Like vending machine junk food. He makes his way back indoors and directly into the teacher’s lounge. It is one of the few safe havens away from the students. Most of them were hyperactive little shits and would jump at the opportunity to ask ‘Mister Len’ for piggy back rides, or request to take his hair town to ‘look pwettier’. (He usually says yes to both.)

He arrives to the door marked with ‘Teachers Only!’ and enters, expecting to find a couple other teachers gossiping together. Len fishes the snubbed cig from his pocket and tosses it in the trash before stepping over to the sink in the ‘kitchen’ area to wash his hands. The last thing he needs is to smell like he chainsmokes before being around a bunch of kids all day. 

Though she had certainly been dealt her fair share of stress, heartbreaks, and typical teen angst high school for Rin had treated her quite kindly compared to most. Her home life had been rocky due to issues between both Len and mama but other than that she had worked hard to keep her grades up and even managed to experience making lifelong friends as well as experience her first love and other exciting but mundane things that all young people want to do. Yes, there was definitely no doubt that the blonde had been lucky. 

Emphasis on had.

College, on the other hand, hadn’t been so kind and although she remained diligent with her studies and perfect grade scores it’s her mental health that has now plummeted, reaching a rare and all time low that took it’s form in shitty decision-making that seemed to be a Kagamine gene passed down to every generation like a curse. That much was a given, especially if you looked at their cousin, Rinto. Yikes. And while she had never allowed herself to spiral down to Len-levels of horrible decisions it had still led her to graduate with a degree she didn’t care for as much as she should, a job that she was only partially interested in and, worst of all, had no choice but to move back home to the one place she had sworn to never return.

What is wrong with her?

It was thoughts like that-- some crueler and more spiteful-- that had kept her up crying the night prior, the battle against her rapidly growing anxiety a losing one. And that was the only reason that Rin Kagamine, of all people, had been passed out on the table in the teacher’s lounge during her lunch hour; the little bit of remaining energy she’d had left sucked dry from her by her students. And while she loved kids and enjoyed being around them this just wasn’t the sort of future she would have ever envisioned for herself.

She only stirs awake when the sound of running water invades the silence, cheeks flushing with embarrassment as she bolts upright suddenly to apologize to whatever coworker has joined her when she finally takes notice of the tuft of blonde hair and face strikingly similar to her own despite it’s masculinity. 

“Oh, it’s just you.” Voice is still rough from sleep but she visibly relaxes, “Thank God.” Clearly her guard is still down in her half-asleep state otherwise she never would have voiced her relief at his presence. Taking a moment to yawn she stretches as well, groaning aloud as her bones pop and another thought ripples to the surface, “You stink.”