tana was here!

Gone like a whirlwind.

Thoughts of you stuck like a loop.

It doesn't matter how many years have passed.

I'm still horrifyingly and undeniably marred by you.

So what can I do but lay on my bed?

As my own grandmother tells me to forget?

She's not worth your time or your thoughts, she would say.

The dawning realization that I wished she was, haunting me each day.

I'm not perfect. I'm not neat.

I love her still, and I feel awkward talking to her or thinking about her.

I have to leave her in my past, forget the good days and the bad.

My eyebrow furrows, my lips curved downwards.

I wake in the morn, pull my laptop to me.

I rather not eat, I failed the moment I woke.

Grumbles, grumbles, my thoughts grumble.

How I look at the mirror and think, what have I done?

I didn't eat, or bathe, or laugh and cry today.

I let myself be consumed, my heart and body pushed away.

Grumbles, grumbles, how my time grumbles.

I'll be late, I haven't ate, I wish I was somewhere else named Kate.

Rather than me, who doesn't think about herself all day.

I wish I loved myself enough to be kind to myself.

Ang sakit naman ng akin realisasyon...

Di ko na alam paano sumulat.

Ang problema ko ay di ko ginagamit ang linggwahe na galing sa akin mga ninuno.

Ayun, nawala na yung akin abilidad.