I Have Hella Great Hair

Oh fuck 🤣🤣🤣

🤣🤣🤣

According to Diogenes they’re settling things man to man

(wakes up at reasonable hour) (stays in bed for two more hours)

(goes to bed at a reasonable hour)(stays awake for two more hours)

That feeling when your body is requesting something but you're not sure what so you just start eating and drinking random stuff to try and figure it out

Me, eating a chocolate waffle at 7pm: Is this what you desire, oh prison of flesh?

Fuck it..

I have central air and this is still a BIG FUCKING MOOD

Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, or back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they’re a wide-eyed mess.

fuck kinda subway are u going to?

Substitute teachers deal with so much shit

i love it when people compliment my pets 

She looks pretty dead

thanks

when i was in high school i used to write my papers thinking wow i’m just bullshitting all of this. then like a week before my senior year ended after all the grades were set, i was talking to my english teacher and told him you know i just bullshitted every paper i wrote. he told me that while i may have thought i was just pulling it all out of my ass, i genuinely knew what i was talking about and made well-supported analyses. i only thought i was bullshitting because it didn’t take much effort and it all seemed obvious to me. if you do well on your essays even though you think you’re just making it up as you go, chances are you’re not pulling it out of your ass. you’re just a genuinely talented analyst, even if the analysis that you’re making comes from a subconscious understanding of the material rather than a conscious effort to study it. give yourself some credit. 

anything you pull out of your ass had to get there somehow

Anything you pull out of your ass had to get there somehow