anthems

a starter for @talliebernal

“  maybe,  ”  the  word  leaves  genevieve’s  lips  noncommittally  at  the  mention  of  their  professor’s  𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡,  “  i  just  think  people  should  remember  i’m  not  just  a  pretty  face,  i  could  kill  them  at  any  moment  if  i  wanted  to.  ”  it’s  a  joke  and  it’s  not  a  joke.  years  of  her  life  had  been  spent  trying  to  escape  the  𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲  𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞  role  she  had  been  born  into.  prove  that  she  could  be  cunning  and  brutal.  “  but  for  the  record  i  would  not  be  one  of  the  pathetic  bond  girls  that  gets  courted  and  killed  in  the  first  act,  i’d  be  one  of  the  ones  that  could  actually  𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭.  ”  

"no, no, of course not. i would be playing the role of the soon-to-be dead bond girl, you would be 'survives the night' bond girl, naturally." she jokes with an amused smile on her lips. if there were an apocalypse or some sort of action movie level disastrous event? tallie would no doubt align herself with gen. she feels as if she can trust gen with the end of the world as much as she can an honest fashion opinion.

“72! that’s amazing! good work! you won’t even need me anymore by the time Christmas rolls around!” and she means every congratulatory phrase that falls from her tongue, glowing golden with pride. “that’s only 28 away from 100.. you’re so close to being a geek like me,” threatens her with an angelic laugh - if there’s one way tallie would never fall, it would be on the side of uncool. sometimes gemma can barely believe tallie is happy to be seen in public with her, glasses falling from her nose and a bag of books clapping against her side. at least she’s self-aware, gemma supposes, that she’s somewhat a cliche -  the girl with her head in a novel, the nerd who always gets it right, the loner who’s never seen at parties - it would be more embarrassing if she tried to be someone she wasn’t, the party girl, the vixen, the harlequin. “maybe, although i’m not sure i could handle the pressure. i’m anxious enough over making sure you do well, imagine me with a whole class of kids. they’d end up teaching me.” it’s a sad and slow laugh that escapes this time, wistful for a future she’ll never have (one she’s not even sure she wants.) “i don’t know… i read a lot as a kid because i didn’t really have much else to do. i never thought my parents actually cared if i did well or not, they just wanted something to brag about to their friends. i’m sure if i wasn’t smart they would have found something else to exaggerate.”

tallie can't help but let an almost shy blush color her cheeks at the praise. she doesn't remember ever being praised for academic work, not even as a child. her mother never even displayed her art on the fridge. but gemma's so kind and so genuine and that's one of the reasons why tallie thinks they click, why she gets along with her. she's genuine and that's one thing she always tries to be too. they may not have much else in common, but tallie likes that about her too. gemma's not like most of her other friends. she especially isn't like gen or aileen. and though her brain rivals chan's, she's worlds away from him too in so many other ways. she doesn't make tallie feel dumb when she corrects her and she seems to actually believe that she can do better. then she listens as gemma recounts childhood memories, some of it hitting close to home, though, tallie won't mention it, "well, all the reading served you well!" tallie assures with a bright smile, "and now you can brag to everyone about just how smart you are, who cares what your parents think, you're kick ass, gem." she tells her, "being smart and cute and nice? like, you've really won the lottery."

there's a reason tallie is her best girlfriend: the minute stella sees that blinding smile, all the fucked-up shit they're dealing with seems so much less important. there are few things she loves more than spending an afternoon with tallie going through one closet or the other, trading clothes and playing dress-up with each other like she imagines little girls would, styling each other for parties and events, chattering away about everything and nothing — she's been pulled across the threshold of tallie's bedroom before the questions fully register and she remembers why she's actually here.

tallie disappears into her closet to grab the causes of her fashion dilemma as she listens to stella. she's a multitasker. she sets the pairs of pants on the bed and hums in response, "i'm honored. i'm going to change our group chat name to 'ghost hunters' just to see how confused fitz gets." she sits on the edge of the bed, eyes flicking over the blonde with a bit of apprehension, "so you didn't hear about what happened to emilia after our search then? the email?" her voice is an octave lower than usual, as if she's sharing a secret but not trying too hard to hide it. tallie lets out a sigh, rolling her tongue over the inside of her cheek, "i think the book being gone might actually fuck us all over, stel." she admits. tallie doesn't get scared or anxious, it's not her thing, but now? it's hard not to be. it's hard for her to hide the traces of apprehension that spread over her features.

her nose was buried in an overly floral piece of prose written by one of her classmates, critiquing it with a red pen ahead of a workshop the next day, when the tall shadow fell over the counter. she looked up, prepared to have to fix on her customer service smile, only for a real one to suddenly form, eyes lighting up as they landed on tallie. "hey! for me, really?" the enthusiasm in her voice made her want to throw up. mari fished out the pain au chocolat and took a bite, doing her best not to scatter flakes of pastry everywhere. "thank you," she mumbled, hand over her mouth. she tried not to read too much into the fact that tallie was bringing her breakfast and somehow knew when she worked, reasoning that she herself brought food for emilia with no romantic intention behind it, and that it would not have been difficult for her to ask aileen to confirm her work schedule. but that stupid spark of hope ignited in her chest anyway, and she took a long swig of coffee to try to drown it.

"anytime." tallie grinned, taking a sip of her own coffee. maple was finally in season. the happiness in mari's voice made her smile, made her glad she had popped over. they hadn't gotten to talk much at the debrief at her place, so she was happy to have some time to themselves now. that was hard to come by with the craziness of the club as of late. she hummed then, tilting her head, paying attention to her words, "yeah, not much else to do but deal with it, i guess." though, if her secret came out, tallie knew that 'dealing with it' would take a little more than a pinkie nail of special k and one of her winning smiles. she wondered, briefly, what kind of secret mari had spilled to their professor, but didn't ask. that was against some unspoken rule, right?

"the big thing?" he asks. he lifts up the covers and looks under them, swaying his head back and forth in consideration. "eh, he's actually just above average, but i appreciate the shoutout." of course, he knows that tallie is most likely not referring to his dick, but he can't help it - his natural instinct is to not take anything too seriously, because then it matters. he's faced death before and jokes were the only thing that got him through it, fitz figures it's a good strategy to employ again.

tallie snorts, poking fitz in the shoulder with a fond eye roll, "don't undervalue yourself. size aside, gets the job done better than most." she lets him play it off like that for a moment, his knack to drop right into humor something of a comfort for her too. it's like, if fitz can still joke in a time like this? then nothing can be that dire, right? they'll get through it. if he were ever to stop joking, she'd probably consider them all as good as dead. she hums then, tilting her head slightly and shrugging, "i think it'll be weird. can't really just ignore a dead professor washing up at a school sanctioned event." tallie thinks that it's probably better for it to have happened like that than at one of their very much unsanctioned beach bonfires, "knowing dean maddox? she'll probably just try and it make it seem like everything's fucking peachy. classes and exams as normal." which reminds her, she has a quiz in stats on tuesday that she needs to ask gemma for help with.

"who knew," chan agrees, sarcasm dripping from his tone. he swirls the black coffee around in his cup, taking a slow sip as he correctly drills through another notecard. he drinks coffee on days he doesn't plan on having anything snorted, swallowed, or swabbed, and while it's enough to stimulate a low hum in him, it often serves to remind him of the vice he's actually missing. "must've slipped my mind," he says about his birthday. chan's never been one to place too much emphasis on celebrations (translation: has never had friends to throw a party for), and his age means little to nothing to him (translation: he's been treated like an adult for about as long as he's been able to speak). "please don't plan anything," he insists, looking up from his notecards again, this time to fixate tallie with an earnest gaze. he can tell from her coy expression that his pleading means very little to her, and if anything, it'll probably just encourage her to make the whole affair even more insufferable to chan. he sighs heavily. "okay. fine. you are allowed to plan one thing," chan says to tallie. "no more than fifteen people. it's not getting hosted at my place. no surprise guests, no strippers, no drake on the aux." a beat. "and there better be enough coke there to make belfort look like the pope."

tallie flashes a clever grin, nodding emphatically as chan protests. she knows she's going to win this battle, mostly because she is absolutely not going to listen to chan's arguments. she never has. she's glad that he knows this too, it makes a hostile takeover much easier.

Don’t ever put your happiness in someone else’s hands. They’ll drop it. They’ll drop it everytime.

for @talliebernal

tallie was not known for her brains and she was completely comfortable with that. she was of the line of thinking that everyone has their strengths. hers just wasn't academics (especially statistics). now if she were graded on socializing or party planning? the story would be different. but, alas, dr. lau was not a professor of fun. and when tallie's mother had found out her stats grade was beyond the help of a pile of money? tallie had been forced to find a tutor. lucky for her, gemma was the perfect candidate. her mom had suggested she ask chan, but tallie knew better. chan would probably be the least merciful teacher she could ask for, meanwhile, gemma was sweet and smart and gentle. it was a no brainer, really, "i got a 72... which is better than my last quiz." she had missed to last pop quiz due to skipping class, to be fair, "lau's class was the last time slot that wasn't an early morning class, so... by default, here i am." she sighed, fiddling with the edge of her notebook absentmindedly, "you should become a professor, you're way better at this than her." though, to be fair, tallie either didn't attend her stats class or tuned out for 98% of it, "were you always good at this stuff? or, like, did you have to study it like this?"

"shut up, i am." despite everything in this moment that should scream otherwise, her false, pitched nurse voice works to still him, to relax him into the acrylics pressing against the base of his skull. maybe it's the accent. "has anyone ever told you that you've got a really nice voice, by the w—"

"see? though, rib tattoos... maybe you're just a glutton for pain." observing his relationship with aileen? yeah, he really might be. but tallie shakes that thought away, a proud smirk curling her lips as she leans back on her heels. she sets her hands on her hips, tilting her head as if observing a painting — one she painted, "if your dad asks, it wasn't me and a war should not be started with great britain to retaliate." she teases. though, she does wish she could be a fly on the wall when his dad sees. his reaction will probably be even more powerful than aileen's, "i'm like king midas, but with hotness. i'm glad you've realized." tallie winks, picking up her forgotten about now lukewarm tequila soda and taking a sip, "now if it's a nipple piercing you want next time? i have to warn you... that's a little more painful. and if it gets caught on shit? hurts like a bitch." also, she's almost definitely not qualified to perform one, ear or nose, sure, but nipple? yikes. she flashes him a teasing grin, taking a seat on the floor across from him as she asks, "d'you think aileen will like it?" she wasn't going to ask, but it comes out anyway. like most thoughts that cross her mind.

“  perfect,  ”  gen  hums  as  she  checks  items  off  in  her  planner,  “  make  sure  none  of  the  cocktails  are  too  sweet  yeah  ?  i  don’t  want  to  feel  like  some  girl  from  ohio  that  just  turned  eighteen.  ”  another  sip  of  wine,  “  oh,  and  we’re  getting  the  macaron  towers  from  ladurée  again  right  ?  my  favourite.  ”  their  halloween  parties  were  perhaps  a  heinous  show  of  material  wealth  at  times,  brightly  coloured  pastries  flown  in  from  france  and  bottles  of  champagne  with  price  marks  in  the  hundreds  flowing  freely,  but  they’re  so  fun  and  private  who  could  possibly  object.  “hm,  i’m  thinking  something  sexy  and  vaguely  murderous  for  me,  maybe  a  bond  girl  or  something  like  that.  i  think  as  long  as  our  colour  pallets  and  fabrics  match  it’ll  look  cohesive,  maybe  we  can  just  put  our  shoppers  in  touch  ?  ”  another  sip  of  wine  because  of  course  half  of  the  fun  of  party  planning  with  tallie  was  getting  a  little  tipsy.  “  god  yeah,  imagine  trying  to  show  up  without  a  costume,  it's  so  ridiculous.  no  one  has  any  respect  for  a  dress  code  these  days.  ”  rolling  her  eyes,  “  the  guest  list  definitely  needs  work  though  and  i  only  trust  you  and  me  with  those  judgments.  hmmm,  ”  her  eyes  scan  down  last  years  list,  “  fitz  and  gemma  of  course,  do  you  think  we  can  invite  dominic  without  his awful girlfriend  ?  ”

"already called, four towers, four different flavors will be present." tallie confirms with a nod, making a note in her binder with a bright purple gel pen. she snorts then, "slightly murderous? really leaning into the vibe dupont has provided, hm? though, you would make a hot bond girl. i would totally attempt to kidnap you in an effort to keep you away from 007. ooooh, there, maybe i should go bond villain vibes then... much to think about. but, yes, i'll forward you my shopper's information and they can sneaky link in a not sexy way." she takes a drink of her glass, listening to the other. she can't help but agree with most of what gen says, even if she would say it in a way that is slightly gentler. she supposes that's what makes their friendship work. at the mention of aileen, though, she tilts her head to the side and hums, "ok, she's not that bad, g, c'mon. and you know dom won't come if she isn't invited." tallie's still determined to find out the deal between gen and dom, but she lets that goal go for now — there will be time later, "i promise to keep aileen out of your line of sight. well, as much as possible. i can't be too tied down," she winks, "as i am a hostess extraordinaire." a sly smirk slides onto her lips, "and, besides, fitz and i need time to try and seduce you into bed with us." she's joking (half-joking), eyebrows wiggling playfully.

@talliebernal

tallie takes a hit, letting the smoke curl in the dim moonlight as she passes the joint back to her ex-boyfriend. though, it's not particularly fair to call fitz that. ex, yes, but he also is somehow still one the most important people in her life. one of the most life-changing moments of their young lives just happened and she didn't for a second think about calling her mother, what seemed more prudent was leaning on fitz. was ending up in bed with fitz. it's normal for them and it's not some secret. she doesn't have to hide the time she spends with him. it's a relief and a reprieve and it makes sense that this is where they are, "i was more a fan of the mushroom risotto balls, but the tostinis slapped too." she hums nonchalantly, able to read the tone, but not wanting to lean in to the heaviness of it. that's not the person she is. it's not who she's supposed to be.