Pantalones

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'

I live a very balanced life of noticing things nobody else does and not noticing the things that literally everybody notices

ugh of course he has two mothers. they just had to make it woke. and one of them's made of cloth and the other wire too. sick of this forced diversity bullshit

“what’s the song of the summer” ?? it’s DANCING IN THE DARK by bruce springsteen for the 42nd year in a row

booty shorts that say "I'd rather be in Ankh-Morpork, which is really more of an indictment of the here and now than an endorsement of one's personal safety and happiness in Ankh-Morpork" on the ass in very small font

sourdough STOPPER. fuck ur bread.

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

angel dumott schunard is one of the characters of all time. she’s queer and trans. she’s the kindest person in the world. she’s a talented drummer. she’s more of a man than you’ll ever be and more of an woman than you’ll ever get. she killed a dog