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@talesfrom221b
Sherlock and Mycroft's Childhood
*childhood Mycroft and Sherlock in their family home* Mycroft: say it Sherlock: no Mycroft: say it Sherlock Sherlock: no Mycroft: I'll do it Sherlock: 😳 Mycroft: say it Sherlock: ..... No fatty *Mycroft sits on Sherlock* Mycroft: say it now Sherlock: *squished voice* oh Mycroft, you look like you've lost weight Mycroft: thank you
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Sherlock Gets and A Cold
Sherlock: John. Johnnn. JOOHHNNNNN!! John: WHAT!? Sherlock: don't yell at me. I'm sick John: yes I'm bloody well aware of that, what do you want Sherlock: my microscope John: why? Sherlock: I sneezed in this tissue and I want to look at it under the microscope John: no Sherlock: ..... Please? John: no Sherlock: I'll sneeze on you John: I'm going out Sherlock: come back! John! JOHHNN!! ....... Mrs Hudsonnn!!
Idk, Sherlock likes roofs
*John comes to Baker Street to visit sherlock* John: SHERLOCK WTF ARE YOU DOING, GET OFF THAT ROOF! DON'T JUMP, DO NOT JUMP AGAIN Sherlock: ..... Relax John John: I'll relax when you get off that bloody roof! Sherlock: John I'm fine, stop yelling John: ....... What are you doing up there then!? Sherlock: I'm tanning.
Sherlock confuses children with dogs again
*John comes home after letting Sherlock watch Rosie all day* John: where's Rosie? Sherlock: she's asleep John: did you feed her? Sherlock: yes I gave her a can John: a can? Sherlock: yes John: a can of what? *Sherlock says nothing, John walks over to the bin* John: Sherlock you didn't. SHERLOCK. SHERLOCK TELL ME YOU DIDN'T GIVE MY CHILD A CAN OF DOG FOOD Sherlock: relax John, it says it's for puppies
Sherlock and the "Tuxedo Bird"
Penguen, Pengweng? Sherlock: John. I've just been given a case about a tuxedo bird John: what? Sherlock: yes it's a very strange case so I need to concentrate John: what's a tuxedo bird? Sherlock: John shut up I'm trying to go to my mind palace John: what the hell is a tuxedo bird!? Sherlock: you know.. Those birds that don't fly and live in the cold and swim and things.. John: a penguin? Sherlock: tuxedo bird
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How it should've gone in TRF
*Rooftop scene* Moriarty: oh Sherlock, there's so much you don't know. She told me everything Sherlock: she? Moriarty: *whispers* Redbeard *shoots himself*
The one where things got weird
The day had finally come and John and Mary were on their honeymoon. They didn’t have much money so they went to a nice hotel for the night. Away from London, and more importantly for Mary, away from Sherlock.
As John and Mary settled down, turned the light off and got in to bed, Mary turns to her new husband and says “I love you John” John replies, “Of course you do, why else would you have married me?” She laughs at this and they start to kiss passionately under the sheets. Suddenly, John feels a cold breeze against the back of his neck, he turns and sees that the window is open which is weird because he thought he closed it. He gets up and closes it and returns to Mary in the bed. As the newlyweds start to consummate their marriage, a faint voice in the background says “You two should really use some sort of protection, I hear this is how babies are made”
John and Mary sit up so fast it makes their heads spin, they both turn on the lamps next to them and see Sherlock sitting in a chair opposite, hands steepled under his nose in his thinking position. John screams “SHERLOCK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING” Mary screams “GET OUT YOU FREAK” Sherlock seems hurt by Marys comment but speaks in a calm tone “I’m watching to further educate myself. Please don’t mind me. Oh and could you remove the covers so I can actually see what you’re doing” John throws a pen thats sitting on the table next to him at Sherlock who swiftly catches it in his hand. “Ah thank you John, my pen is running out’ As John starts to get out of the bed Mary grabs his arm, “Wait, we might as well use him whilst he’s here?” “Mary! What the hell!?” “No no! Not like that, did you remember to bring protection?” “Uhhh… Shit, I forgot” Mary turns to Sherlock “Go bring us some protection and then we will never speak of this again, do you hear me? Never. Speak. Of. This. Again’ Sherlock looks confused but he rises and leaves.
25 minutes later Sherlock returns with a butchers knife and hands it to John. At this point they kick Sherlock out for real and remember to lock and close the door and window.
The one where we thought Sherlock hid it somewhere else
*the scene in TLD where Sherlock is telling John the recording device is in Johns walking stick* Sherlock: 😏😏😏😏 John: you didn't. You cock! Sherlock: I did John: .......... Sherlock: ........ John: bend over then Sherlock: what the fuck!? It's in your walking stick! John: oh! Sherlock: How the fuck did you make a deduction like that!? John: I don't know! I just thought- Sherlock: No! I'm the only one allowed to make deductions now. Not you. Never you.
The one where Sherlock deleted it from his mind palace
*John walks in to his living room to see Sherlock on the floor* John: Jesus Christ Sherlock! Are you alright? *Looking up at John from the floor* Sherlock: Ah John, I was wondering if you could help me up John: what happened? Why are you on the floor? Sherlock: I deleted it. John: deleted what? Sherlock: deletedhowtowalk John: what? Sherlock:....... I deleted how to walk from my mind palace. John: ... You can do that? Sherlock: yes John:.... I'm calling Mycroft *John picks up his phone and calls Mycroft* Mycroft: yes John? John: .......uh....Sherlock forgot how to walk Mycroft: AGAIN!?! John: this has happened before!? Mycroft: 8 times before *John turns to Sherlock* John: you've forgotten how to walk 8 times before!? Sherlock: ... Yes. John: hold on. If you deleted how to walk, then what were you making room for? Sherlock: ............……….................................I forgot how to use the toaster
The one with Sherlock and Balloon John
It was a cold winters night. Sherlock was lonely in the flat at 221B as usual. As he turned his lights off and got in to his bed he lay there awake starting up at the ceiling. After many many minutes of contemplation, he decided to just get up and do it. He returned to his bed and placed balloon John next to him. The next morning John came over to see Sherlock, "Sherlock, why is balloon me in the fridge?" After 10 seconds of silence, Sherlock replies "we had a disagreement last night"
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The one with Hudders, Sherlock & the boot
Hudders: *after handcuffing him and holding a gun to Sherlock* get in my car now. Sherlock: no Hudders: get in Sherlock, don't make me do it Sherlock: do what? I'm perfectly fine, where's Wiggins? Where's that needle I was using earlier *Sherlock turns away to look in a cupboard* Hudders: NOW BOYS! *4 large men from downstairs rush upstairs and and grab Sherlock and start to walk* Sherlock: what is this!? this is pathetic, you're all pathetic, LET ME GO! *Sherlock starts to wriggle free* *thud* Sherlock: HOW DARE YOU DROP ME! NOW. LET. ME. GO! Hudders: Sherlock dear, if you continue to talk like that, I'm scared they'll throw you down the stairs *Sherlock stays quiet* *they get out the front door* *thud* Sherlock: OUCH! I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING THIS TIME! Hudders: that was probably for something you've said to them in the past dear Sherlock: THIS IS RIDICULOUS, I'M A GROWN MAN, NOW LET ME GO! Hudders: oh sweetheart, I'm doing this for your own good you know Sherlock: oh shut up Mrs Hudson Hudders:............... Put him in the boot