The one where things got weird
The day had finally come and John and Mary were on their honeymoon. They didn’t have much money so they went to a nice hotel for the night. Away from London, and more importantly for Mary, away from Sherlock.
As John and Mary settled down, turned the light off and got in to bed, Mary turns to her new husband and says “I love you John” John replies, “Of course you do, why else would you have married me?” She laughs at this and they start to kiss passionately under the sheets. Suddenly, John feels a cold breeze against the back of his neck, he turns and sees that the window is open which is weird because he thought he closed it. He gets up and closes it and returns to Mary in the bed. As the newlyweds start to consummate their marriage, a faint voice in the background says “You two should really use some sort of protection, I hear this is how babies are made”
John and Mary sit up so fast it makes their heads spin, they both turn on the lamps next to them and see Sherlock sitting in a chair opposite, hands steepled under his nose in his thinking position. John screams “SHERLOCK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING” Mary screams “GET OUT YOU FREAK” Sherlock seems hurt by Marys comment but speaks in a calm tone “I’m watching to further educate myself. Please don’t mind me. Oh and could you remove the covers so I can actually see what you’re doing” John throws a pen thats sitting on the table next to him at Sherlock who swiftly catches it in his hand. “Ah thank you John, my pen is running out’ As John starts to get out of the bed Mary grabs his arm, “Wait, we might as well use him whilst he’s here?” “Mary! What the hell!?” “No no! Not like that, did you remember to bring protection?” “Uhhh… Shit, I forgot” Mary turns to Sherlock “Go bring us some protection and then we will never speak of this again, do you hear me? Never. Speak. Of. This. Again’ Sherlock looks confused but he rises and leaves.
25 minutes later Sherlock returns with a butchers knife and hands it to John. At this point they kick Sherlock out for real and remember to lock and close the door and window.
