deactivating

questioning if i have a cdd and coming to tumblr for support only to find that it’s mostly people aestheticizing this shit is so demoralizing. i mean at least the radid people admit that they’re faking, the endo/willo/whatever people have completely taken over the cdd discussion space from what i’ve seen

hey folks. i will be deleting my main, and remaking both this blog and tales from systok. i have a question:

I forgot that endo blogs were a thing and I've been following this polyfrag culture blog for months. I've been doing a good enough job staying out of endo spaces that I just strongly associate polyfrag to polyfrag DID and it never crossed my mind that endos might use it. So I sent anonymously a post and then seconds later while scrolling through the blog I see "endo safe" tag 🤦

those ‘build an alter’ posts make us giggle so much idk why. Also they’re very very dumb.

seeing so many endo blogs makes me wanna tear my hair out this isn't an identity you claim this is a fucking disorder that makes you unable to sleep for days on end when you find out you have it because you're torn between denial that you're this fucked up and a massive crashout because you just realized why you're this fucked up

someone made a post in our system side log complaining about selling headmates and BAH blogs. endos found it. we switched and the alter that came had to log out because she was so overwhelmed from people telling us that you can form alters at will, that BAH blogs are 100% okay bc fragments consent to be molded into whatever, and the cherry on top was that they said that endos were healthier than people with CDDs and do we should look up to them. can't believe this shit anymore.

found this tag on someoneś post

We really hope this isn’t an annoying ask or anything, but we just sent something to your asksysblr blog and we hope that was ok. It’s a long ask so we hope it wasn’t too much. We actually weren’t sure it was still open since it hasn’t updated in a while.

be me. have system side blog so my family doesn't see me posting about being a system. get called the r slur by a pr0-endo.

i absolutely despise endo's and the danger they have put the community through. DID/OSDD/UDD is a mental disorder, and they're acting all silly and delusional. i will always be anti endo, because of them and making my suffering, dissociation, amnesia, fear, self hatred, all of that and turning it into "hehe silly little ppl-in-my-brain disorder :3" it's because of them, no one will ever take people with DID seriously in the real world. I hope ppl who are "endo-neutral/pro-endo" understand this one day. Just because it doesn't impact them doesn't mean it doesn't harm others. - 🍓🌱

OH I KNOW WHO THEY ARE TALKING ABT (the nazi ass alter)

I GOT ONE!!

How do you find out if youre a system?

i got a post from tales from systok on my dash, then went to the account because why not read for a little bit, right? i look at the pinned and i see that there are two sibling blogs and i decide to check those out too.

this is more a vent more then anything. I used to be “Endo neutral” (I was super uncomfortable by endos but didnt want to say that) and I said that. We lost a lot of friends due to that reason and I so badly wish I could go back then and tell myself that I should’ve just been honest and said I was anti endo. It meant I couldn’t be honest with people about who I really was. But now I’m trying my best to grow. even then it doesn’t excuse what I did.