What should he do? Should he say something? Should he ignore it? Regardless of what he decides, he’s set himself up for a distinct set of decisions and potential consequences by freezing mid-sentence.
How was it that years of carefully cultivated composure could crack upon one unfortunately simplistic, chance encounter?
The longer he stared, the longer the silence stretched on and on and despite the singular, minuscule voice that doubted whether or not this was Sasuke, Itachi knew it in his heart. He was so different now– grown up and… sad.
A strange pride that his brother was so handsome filled him and mixed the cold feeling of guilt and anxiety. It threatened to make him sick as it all churned in his stomach.
As the other stared into the ocean, Itachi knew what he was thinking and what he was feeling… or at least, the raven in all his impetuous omnipotence, claimed to know, but there was no way he could know what Sasuke felt… Still, he felt the instinct to walk over and hug him and comfort and console him, but he’d lost that right– betrayed that privilege a long time ago and there was no chance of getting that back. The process would not just destroy Itachi, but Sasuke as well and that was something he was certain neither of them needed.
Covering up the awkwardness, Itachi cleared his throat and slipped his hands into the pockets of his coat.
“Sorry. I thought you were someone else…” he lied.
Despite the fact that he decided not to have a “reunion” of sorts now, and against all of his better judgement, Itachi stayed where he was and made to begin a conversation although everything within him begged him not to.
“It’s cold tonight. What brings you out here?”
Sasuke heard the stranger’s apology. Still, he chose to stay quiet.
There was nothing to say. There never is with the raven. Words are so impactful and bold inside his mind. Linguistics, and structure, and word choice are important to Sasuke. He can create anthologies purely from the thoughts that constantly run through his mind. But somehow, the words get lost. They’re lodged in his throat and suffocate him. They get stuck to the roof of his mouth, or caught between his teeth. They lock his jaw, paralyze his tongue, or take the breath away from his lungs. No matter how hard he tries, they won’t come out.
The night’s significance doesn’t help with the matter, either. His mind was foggy. There is no way he can think straight right now. More than anything, he wished that the shadow of a man talking to him would disappear. There was an anxious tick in the pit of his stomach that tensed every time he was spoken to. He was starting to shiver. Was it the breeze? It could just be the cold water brushing against his knees. Or, the feeling that something bad was about it happen.
What if this guy is up to no good. Now that he thinks about it, why would someone be wondering around the beach at this time, alone?
Yeah, Sasuke was here by himself, too. Regardless, it felt a little sketchy.
His heartbeat picked up when the man asked his question. Now Sasuke had to respond. As much as he didn’t want to, and as bad as he just wanted to be left alone, he doesn’t think the stranger will go away until he got an answer.
“Couldn’t sleep.” he was finally able to muster up.
It was the truth. As simple as it can come out, at least. How do you tell someone you just felt compelled to sit at the shore? That this is some kind of shitty way of honoring the family that had been taken away from him? He’d sound clinically insane.
He sat still. Not bothering to look at the stranger again. It was too much work, and Sasuke did not have the mental energy to strike up any more conversation. With his chin to his chest, he closed his eyes. Hopefully by the time he opens them again, he’d be alone once more.
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