#~blurry

I wish i had more energy to go into depth of how i view Sun and Moon ( and Stars ) Relationships bc i see more than just Sun and Moon.

I want to be clear, these are my own feelings and I'm only posting this in case others feel similar, not to put anyone down or make them feel bad.

It just weirdly hits close in a way i will not and cannot go into details for. But i just genuinely do not want to romanticize someone's ( even though he is fictional ) CPTSD / PTSD.

I just feel weird and uncomfortable by it. Imagine someone being in a lot of pain from getting hurt and/or their disability and going "yeah thats hot".

Before anyone tries to reality check me and before i continue ;

I know Maul is fictional. To you ( probably ).

I'm ND + Plural, i have a headmate of him and anything and everything is most likely ( but not entirely ) a memory for him. He is a person to me because he is a person in my head.

I'm objectum / POSIC+ . I feel like due to trauma and autism. And that also makes it hard for me to see "objects" as "not alive".

I am an adult, i do not need strangers to reality check me. 👍

Continuing.

I also feel like there is a lot of ableism going on in the fandom which. Of course there is there always will be in any fandom unfortunately.

I just feel like some people forget Maul is disabled.

He has CPTSD ( and/or PTSD )

He has depression + Seemingly suicidal ( at least when it comes to specific situations )

He has schizophrenia

He has prosthetics.

I would almost argue he has bipolar and the schizophrenia is caused by that, as well as i think he may have ASPD. However this one is far more projecting / speculative ( and to be clear, I'm not saying he has ASPD because of him being a killer or whatever, I'm saying he has ASPD because of his trauma + my experience. Same goes for Bipolar ).

And while we are at it, i will talk about the teeth and the one thing i saw because it really bothered me.

The constant yellow/bad teeth jokes are not funny. I'm not sure if Maul naturally has them or if it is genuinely lack of good hygiene. But if you put all of what i just said with this, yeah, he probably is not feeling like taking care of himself.

These jokes ARE ableist because even though you are only directing it at a fictional character, it reflects and bounces back onto people who do have those issues in real life. There are disabled people who cannot keep up with their hygiene, and they are incredibly valid.

I know a lot of people do not mean harm when they say these jokes and are probably strictly talking about him, but it can and will affect real people.

2. The multiple peepaw / disability jokes because of his age.

I've already been in the rounds of this in the FNAF fandom with William Afton. So let's just get it over with.

It's ageist and ableist

You can be disabled at any age

30s is not old

It's also infantalizing.

All the pain in this episode specifically comes from 1. Being attacked 2. His prosthetics acting up and 3. CPTSD.

Which by the way, did you know CPTSD / PTSD and just abuse / trauma, childhood abuse, can cause long term PHYSICAL pain?

I would not be surprised if he has fibromyalgia because of all of the trauma and suffering he has been through.

I need to figure out limits and prices.

We are doing this for multiple reasons ( not in particular order but all are equally important ) ;

We are tired of our parents making us wait for their terms

We are out of time TO practice driving. We want to see our Partner's system show.

We have been with our partner for 3 years. We both desperately want to be with her in person.

Our parents do not know about our online personas, and i don't really trust our mom with this.

It will be a week to at worse, a two week walk.

We will not be posting hardly to at all after this.