#zooling

-form templates, from left to right, top to bottom; ageling, conceptling, factling, fictling, fixling / spinling, multiling, OCling, and zooling flags

hour glass, thought bubble, pictures, book, telescope, multiple, pen, and world symbols

Honestly, her death may be the most cathartic one in the whole dang story, lol. She was just awful, and Seras deserved to go feral on her.

(It's a long story but a good story)

I don't know how i could to love Zorin Blitz, so everybody hated her for the murder of Pip and the torture of Seras during that Rip was the phantasm of the fandom. It's probably when i begin to ship Rip with Zorin, my first Yuri relationship and when i wrote on them, i saw that we could more do with them. When the depression touched me the first time, it's the writing who help to exit after two years of pain, and the universe of Hellsing are contributed. I begin to write or imagine many scripts of stories in my last year of studies. I'm not gifted for to imagine a character with nothing, i always need a reference, a model, and after used the characters of shinigamis (and some others) of Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji, i use Hellsing characters, but it mainly was Zorin, Rip, Alucard, Captain and one time The Major. But the Hellsing Organization gave me also an idea for to create a French Organization (always in my writing projects). And during these times of characters creations, i begin to fall of love of Zorin. She become my muse for my projects stories and a reference in the creation of my future's main characters. I toke one of "part" of Zorin (vampire Zorin, soldier zorin, witch Zorin, sadistic/bad Zorin, blood Zorin…) and i create a new character with Zorin Blitz as a spiritual mother.

More later, I discovered Amino and the Hellsing community, but in English. My English was awful at this time (even i can't to speak English today) and i scared to be ejected because i was French. But the people are okay, i'm a fan of Hellsing and it's the proof that Hirano impacted all the world. I can't to speak English, but the fandom accept me as i am. The same day when i join this Amino, @valentine-rampage contact me in MP and tell me "I leaned French in my school and i've Canadian origin, i maybe can French with you". She become fast my friend and, joked together on the idea where Zorin is a mom with Rip, my friend told me "Well ! I'm 16 years old, i old on this amino, you are probably young" but i said "Young ? i'm 23 years old ! XD" It's surprise for Rip but i become "Maman Zorin". And it's always as this today. On Amino, i meet some people, some French but they gone all, but an only French of South of France, 17 years old today, love to speak with me. He is my only lector on Wattpad. A Hans Gunshe/Captain become a friend but because it's always complicated to me to speak in English, we speak little but when you decide to speak together, even a long time, we are always friended.

At the end of 2021, i find my first job but i suffer with moral harassment. The last day, my boss yell in the factory "She don't know to France Express [send packages], she don't know to use the printer, she knows nothing !!" I fall suddenly in the depression after three years of struggle. This depression is as a parasite who infect my brain and all my world become complicated. So, during this period, i finished to abandon Amino because i don't support to can not to speak English. I'm crying every day and my life become bad and Hellsing is just a memory. Also, during that, i decide to join the Resident Evil Village Fandom, but it's a failure, and my depression transform this as something of bad. And Alcina, the Queen of the web, became the incarnation of my depression. And in the beginning of 2022, i don't know how i can to survive. Also, in February (you remember maybe) i did a suicide tentative with a cutter. This day, i want to die but i want to live also, but i don't find to help and i post on tumblr "i need help". It's my best friend of help me to this day but i'm shocked by this event.

But after that, i begin to fight, step by step, and guess who came back in my head for help me ? Zorin Blitz. Before, i loved Zorin Blitz because her muscles, her determination and his courage. It was my model and my muse. Now, she's in my head the incarnation of my war against the depression. She came back as a white globule against the infection. When in March, i decide to write a cross-over between Millenium and the Ford Lord of RE8, i discovered during the writer that, under the joke of the story, there are my battle against the depression. And in May, i will back in Hellsing Fandom as a traitor who ask pardon.

Today, i continue to fight and i feel as i begin to go back up the slope even i feel little sad when nobody sent me a message for Rp with me on my Zorin RpBlog and the event with my post is always in head. But i always remember, when the members of fandom are defended a fan of Zorin Blitz, the more hated character of the manga universe, that you, with Seras Victoria as profil picture, and my friend Amino, and a Yumiko @iscariot-no-yumi supported me. So, Zorin Blitz was not simply my muse, she was the incarnation of my determination, my strengt, to fight the depression, always incarnated by Alcina Dimitrescu in my head.

It's a strange metaphor, but my depression is as Alcina, she has the power, she can to manipulate the spirit, the body, destroy my life. If i listen to her, if i listens my depression, my demon, i could to die, all forget of my life, listen all this demon says. And there is my determination, it's Zorin, who know that the body and the brain, as internet, don't love her because she comes for to ask to change the life and to fight something of powerful. My brain and my body are infected my the depression and Zorin is a part of my organism who continue to fight the mental sickness even if it's like to try to dethrone the Queen of the web, but this part never to will abandon the war.

Hirano never knew but it's thanks to Zorin, this character who to he hated because she was complicated to draw and important only for the evolution of Seras, and him, that i'm always life today.

Or how the most hated character of the Manga universe can to be the hero of a person and save a life.

(Well, sorry for this long story, but i hope that it's something of positive for you ^^)

Don't be.