audiobooks free Zombie Rules by David Achord

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#1 DON’T WEAR ORANGE, zombies love orange.  Don’t be that stupid person, who completely wears it, for your fellow survivors. Don’t.

#2 You’re DONE FOR, unless you’re faster than other survivors. RUN!!

#3 Dress to Escape. NO TIGHT CLOTHES! Unless you just want to die. They going to hamper your ability to wriggle free of the zombie’s grasp; if you can barely put it on, then you can barely get out of it.

#4 Stay Clean! You don’t want to die from an affected cut on your knee.

#5 Don’t be sentimental: No-one cares if the zombie you are about to shoot was the teacher that inspired, they are now simply aiming to kill you. Butcher them before you become their next meal.

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Good post at The Chronicle, referencing a good post at The Guardian:

Marsh covers 10 bogus rules that should be jettisoned. His list is a bit diverse and miscellaneous, but let me summarize it briefly. I will paraphrase, using the terminology of The Cambridge Grammar of the English Language rather than translating everything into the confused traditional terminology of yesteryear.

Placing adjuncts between infinitival to and the verb (to really enjoy it) is fully grammatical.

There’s nothing ungrammatical about stranded prepositions (something to look at), and there never was.

It is far better to use the informal was for were in irrealis contexts (using phrases like if I was rich than to panic and incorrectly overuse the formal were (using ungrammatical sentences like *They asked me whether I were comfortable).

Negative concord (the repetition of negation in I can’t get no dial tone) is a familiar feature of nonstandard English that all competent Standard English speakers should be able to understand; it’s not illogical or toxic, it’s just a grammatical feature that some languages have and others don’t. Most of the nonstandard dialects have retained it from Middle English; no need to have a cow about it.

It is not true that the object of between has to denote a set of just two entities.

Some English speakers now use of rather than with as the preposition that the adjective bored takes on its complement, and this small ongoing change doesn’t matter very much.

Gerund-participial clauses often take accusative subjects (him doing that, not necessarily genitive (his doing that), and that’s OK; sometimes the genitive sounds pompous and awkward.

Coordinators such as and can, and always could, begin sentences.

None as subject can take plural agreement (as in None of these are mine).

Try and relax is a long-standing, frequent, and respectable alternate for try to relax in informal Standard English; it’s not an error.

Just had to sit through this advert and I'm screaming at them that if they do zombies at least do the zombies rule’s right. There is no way a zombie would still be able to move its body after its head’s been taken off.