Bitty doesn't have a vengeful bone in his body. He likes to think of himself as kind, compassionate, a real delight. Oh sure, he can be a little salty when the situation warrants it (especially when he has a couple of margaritas in him), but he's never hated anybody enough to wish ill upon them.
Until pretty, perfect Britt Hewson sashays into Maple Community School from who-knows-where (okay, fine, it's San Diego) and joins the annual school auction committee. Bitty paid his dues taking on less desirable tasks like volunteer coordinator and procurement chair before the committee trusted him enough to turn the social media accounts over to him. A job he excelled in until Annie Hoffman's youngest graduated three years ago and he took over her role as auction chair. Now this woman shows up with her perfect twins and handsome sports anchor husband (though not, Bitty notes, as handsome as his own husband) and expects to be given a primo assignment as chair of the dessert auction committee? Before she's even paid her dues as volunteer coordinator? Oh, honey. That's just not how things are done around here.
"Maybe try playing nice?" Jack gently suggests when Bitty complains about her suggestion that they replace the live dessert auction with a silent auction.
And fine, Jack has a point. Not just because Bitty's planning to run for PTA president next year but because Britt's husband, the sports anchor, keeps harping on Jack like it's his full-time job. During last night's post-game wrap-up he accused Jack of dragging the team down with him, and almost gleefully suggested the Falconers would be better served by taking Jack off the starting line. Jack's usually good at ignoring all the extraneous noise, but he has been in a bit of a scoring slump in the run-up to the playoffs and Bitty can tell it's getting to him. Bad Bob is already fighting back in the comments section of Anchor Husband's Instagram posts, which is very on-brand for Bob but probably not helping Jack's cause. It's probably best if Bitty doesn't do anything that might add fuel to the fire.
So Bitty grumbles about it, but he puts Britt's suggestion to a vote at the next auction committee meeting and is smug when everybody agrees it should remain a live auction.
Which ends up biting Bitty in the ass when Britt's mile-high triple chocolate cake ends up going for a record amount. Everybody sees Rob Duncan and Simone Lee attempt to bankrupt each other over that cake. As the previous record holder with his highly-sought-after blackberry lavender pie (which only brings in a paltry $135, the lowest any of Bitty's desserts has ever gone for), Bitty cannot let this stand.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
When Bitty comes out over Skype, his parents take it very well. He wonders if they had an idea or are just much more open minded than he thought they would be. When he tells them he is dating someone who was on the smh team and graduated last year his momma freezes.
āUm, are you alright?ā
She takes a deep breath and releases it with a sigh.Ā āDicky, I love you no matter what, but for the love of all things holy please tell me you arenāt dating that Mr. Crappy fellow. I donāt want to call my sonās boyfriend anything like that.ā
Bitty canāt help but laugh. He looks behind his laptop at Jack, who is trying to hold back his own laughter.Ā āNo, momma, Iām not dating Shitty, sadly.ā At this Jack makes a face at him. āĀ You both know him, though. Sweetheart, why donāt you say hi to my parents?ā
When momma and coach look so Ā relieved to see that it is Jack on their screen. They both canāt contain their curiosity and joy. Bitty thinks he might even see Coach wipe away a tear during the conversation, but he is smiling and tells the both of them how proud he is.
After the Skype session ends the two of them sit in silence, both knowing this is the start of their two families truly becoming one.
"We can celebrate later," he'd said. "You're in the middle of playoffs and I'm in the middle of finals, it's impractical," he'd said. "You don't need do anything for me, honey," he'd said. He'd said it all - a million times over, it seemed - and he meant it. He did. At the time, at least, he'd meant it. Now, though, it's 7:00 PM on his birthday, and he's walking back to the Haus from the library with a backpack full of books, a phone full of happy birthday texts, and not much else. It's stupid that he feels this way. He'd asked everyone not to make a big deal of his birthday. He'd begged Jack not to do anything. He wanted this. It's just - he always gets his hopes up about his birthday being amazing, even when he knows it's essentially just another day. He's attempting to talk some sense into himself when he opens the door and trudges into the kitchen to make some ramen. He flips the lights on and promptly screams, because that is how one is supposed to react when your parents, your NHL boyfriend, and a small countries-worth of baked goods has somehow appeared in your kitchen. "Happy birthday, honey," his mom grins, as his dad pulls him into a hug. He's crying now, he knows, but it's okay because he hasn't seen his parents in months and he's been admittedly more than a little homesick. "I - you - how - what?" he stammers, looking at Jack, because there's no way this wasn't 100% his crazy, absurd, amazing, lovely, perfect boyfriend's idea. "You didn't actually think I wouldn't do anything for your birthday, did you?" he grins, eyebrows raised as he leans down to plant a quick kiss on Bitty's cheek. "Happy birthday, Bits."
This is a doublefill... @midnightdropsā was also kind enough to prompt me about Bitty/Jack, planning for the future. This deserves more words than I had the will to give it, frankly, and maybe Iāll come back to it and expand someday.
SMH Group Chat
ransom: the wedding's coming up and you know what that means!
holster: BACHELOR PARTY BACHELOR PARTY BACHELOR PARTY
tango: do you have two bachelor parties? if there's two grooms?
nursey: chill it'll be like a double bachelor party
shitty: FEATURING STRIPPERS OF MULTIPLE GENDERS
bitty: oh my GOD please no
The bachelor party does not end up featuring strippers of any genders (although Shitty sort of counts after multiple beers). Instead, it's a karaoke box in Boston, and in addition to screeching Backstreet Boys, inhaling copious types of alcohol and Korean food, and generally giving Jack and Bitty hell, there are party games. NHL trivia for Jack and baking quizzes for Bitty. Almost everyone chooses to play the NHL game, and a very drunk Nursey keeps guessing Carey Price, even when the answer's not a person. It's all good fun, and Bitty has got to get away immediately.
He catches Jack's eye, then ducks out into the stairwell. A minute later, Jack manages to escape. "You doing okay?" he says, lifting a hand to smooth Bitty's hair down.
"Just a little nervous," Bitty answers. "I can't believe it's tomorrow. I've been saying all week I can't believe it's this week, but I really, really can't believe it's tomorrow!"
"Haha, me neither." Jack lowers his hand, takes Bitty's hand in his. "I'm so excited, Bits."
Bitty's not sure he's had time to be excited. "Do you remember everything? Your vows?"
"Memorized."
"Tuxedo?"
"In my parents' hotel room."
"Time we're meeting?"
"10 AM at the chapel. Are you quizzing me?"
Bitty pouts. "Oh please, you made my life hell through three semesters of French and I can't quiz you on your own wedding day?"
"Everything is going to be fine," Jack says. He presses a kiss to Bitty's forehead.
"Of course it is!" Bitty launches himself forward into Jack's arms. "Everything is going to be totally fine, nobody's going to forget anything and there's no way it will turn into a huge mess. Right?"
Jack laughs. "Bits. It really is going to be fine."
"No it's not!" Bitty's voice is muffled in Jack's shirt. "Somebody's going to do something wrong and everything is going to be ruined."
Jack wraps his arms around him, kisses the top of his head. "Bits. I promise. It'll be fine. And if something goes wrong, we'll just laugh at it and keep going. No matter what happens, at the end of the day, you and I will be married."
Bitty sighs into Jack's chest. "What's the matter with me?" he wonders aloud. "I'm a nervous wreck. I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry. It's a big day." Jack pushes Bitty to arm's length, stooping a bit to look at him eye to eye. "I've been a nervous wreck enough times. You can have your turn."
"I suppose as long as I remember how to put a ring on and how to kiss you, it should be okay," Bitty says, but there's doubt in his voice.
"You need to practice one more time?"
And that's a bit of a wicked glint in Jack's eyes right now. It's hard not to feel a little playful with that gaze on him, and Bitty makes a show of thinking hard. "Hmm, which part? The vows? The rings?"
"The part after that," Jack says, and the wickedness is slipping into his smile.
"Hmmm," Bitty says again. "The part where the minister tells everyone that the reception will be at the Boston Mariott at 6?"
"Bits."
Bitty grins. "I know, I know." He lets himself be swept up then, in arms and against soft lips, and as Jack kisses him Bitty closes his eyes and imagines the flowers all around them, the adoring faces of friends, the moment when they finally come to the newest chapter in their lives together. Husbands. They'll be husbands. No matter what else happens, that part's for certain.
They kiss for a full minute, Bitty reaching up to cradle Jack's face, sighing as their lips part and then touch again. Just for this moment, just right now, nothing in the world could possibly go wrong.
Except, perhaps, for Shitty banging the door open and hollering, "Okay, kids, no more nookie, time for the presents!"
"Presents?" Bitty is immediately terrified.
Jack just laughs. "It's not a bridal shower, Shits," he lectures, knowing it'll fall on deaf ears. Shitty takes him by the shoulders and shoves him back into the room, and Bitty follows, taking a deep breath. On top of everything else, all the preparation and rehearsing and worrying, they've got family and friends in their corner. Everything really will be fine.
Jack measures; Bitty pours. They work quietly sometimes, and sometimes they're raucous, trading laughs and chirps as they go. Jack's kitchen is pleasantly worn in by now, with flour scattered across the countertops and canisters and spices arrayed behind the mixing bowls. There's sugar on the floor. They'll have to mop later.
Bitty hands Jack a bowl and a wooden spoon -- you mix this while I mix that -- and then they're silent, but for the grunts. Bitty insists on hand-mixing most things; it tastes better, he says, and Jack never argues. He likes hand-mixing, too. It's putting effort into creating something, and that feels right. Later, when the wet mix and the dry mix come together, a little at a time, it feels like fitting puzzle pieces into one another. Bitty beams or even cheers as Jack works on that thickening batter. It's smooth now, free of lumps, and Bitty feeds chocolate chips to Jack before pouring them in. Something sweet and small, a promise of something more later.
Bitty places it in the oven, careful with the pans, making sure the rack's in just the right place. He straightens up, sets the timer, steps back, and Jack is there, catching him with floured hands. His breath is just the tiniest bit quicker, a difference no one else could notice, but Bitty knows every cadence of his breathing. Jack at rest, Jack on the ice, Jack cooling down from the arm workout baking provides. Bitty breathes along with him. They're in sync.
It's time to make the icing now, and Bitty puts a small saucepan on, melts butter, mixes with sugar, humming as he goes. Jack stands back and watches. Sometimes that's nice, to just watch Bitty in his element, be aware of this nucleus of light and warmth that flits to and fro in his kitchen, like a small sun. He watches just another minute before moving toward the sink to do the dishes.
Later, they crouch, looking into the oven. The batter rises, turns golden brown, coming into its own. It's almost better than that first taste, hunched over side by side, fingers entangled. Seeing this new, beautiful, sweet thing they've created together.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
Prompt list at https://tiptoe39.tumblr.com/post/615015152954294272/prompt-list Random #2: āSharing is caring, now give me the hoodie!ā
Bitty wakes up freezing. It's icy cold, even in Jack's climate-controlled apartment, and his toes feel like they're about to fall off. He curls them up, snuggles up beneath the blanket, tries to fall asleep again. No use. He might as well be sleeping on a glacier.
Jack is, as usual, already up and getting dressed. "Cold, Bittle?" he asks. Bitty glowers at him. "It's not so bad." Bitty knew he was going to say that. Stupid Canadians.
Bitty burrows further down into the blankets, watching Jack dress. Jack buttons his jeans and pulls a blue Falconers hoodie out of a drawer. It's long and comfortable-looking, and as Jack stretches it over his shoulders and tugs the hem down, Bitty eyes it jealously. "That hoodie looks warm." He tries to keep the pout out of his voice, but it doesn't work very well.
"Yeah?" Jack turns and flashes him an innocuous smile. "You can get them at the team store."
Bitty stands, still wearing the blanket like a robe. Jack just looks so warm and comfortable, and there's something infuriating about it. It triggers Bitty's fighting spirit -- and a little spirit of mischief, too. "I want that one," he says, and this time he doesn't care if he pouts.
Jack chuckles. "I've got sweaters in the closet," he says, turning away.
Bitty lets the blankets drop to a puddle on the ground. He reaches out with both hands and snags the hoodie by the arm. "I said I want that one," he says, having a hard time keeping back a smile.
Jack's eyes catch his, and an answering bit of mischief glints in his eyes. "It is nice and warm," he says casually.
The breeziness in his tone brings a scowl to Bitty's face. "Sharing is caring, Jack, now give-- me-- the--" and he tugs hard-- "hoodie!"
His foot slips on the blankets beneath him, and Bitty goes flying back onto the bed, dragging Jack with him. They go toppling into a pile on the bed, Bitty pinned awkwardly beneath Jack, still with a death grip on Jack's arm. Jack laughs again. "No way, Bittle," he teases, "now you're being rude."
Bitty grins up at him. He's starting to feel pockets of warmth rise within him, with the weight of Jack's body over his, even if his leg is stuck in a funny position. "I'll get it one way or another," he declares, and sides his hands under the hem of the sweatshirt to place cold fingers on Jack's belly.
Jack winces with the contact, but now Bitty's got something new to covet, and it's all this warmth beneath his hands. Goodness, how is Jack so warm in this chill? He slides his hands around Jack's back, pulls him down, shifts beneath him. Ahh. Now Jack's on top of him properly, and Bitty parts his legs to let Jack settle between them. Jack breathes his name.
Maybe he doesn't need a hoodie so badly, not if...
Jack crushes him in a kiss, and there's the warmth Bitty's been after, blooming down his spine into the core of him. He moans into the kiss, hands traversing the length of Jack's back, trying to suck in all that unlikely warmth skin to skin. Jack is shivering from the touch, and Bitty feels a little bad about his wandering icy fingers ... but not bad enough to stop.
"You're trouble." Jack laughs, bends to kiss Bitty's shoulder, and then pulls the hoodie over his head, flinging it away. Bitty reaches out, trying to snag it as it goes, but Jack's too quick, and the hoodie goes sailing to the floor.
"That's mine," Bitty tries to complain, but Jack's hands are on him now, and it's hard to be coy when Jack's long fingers are taking him apart. Instead, he gasps in air, groans it out again, and pulls Jack down to him for more kisses.
"It's yours," Jack says into the crook of Bitty's neck. "After."
All I want is a Prince/Princess AU where Jack is a Prince who has to marry Princess Bittle but all he wants to do is bang her brother
āMama,ā Jack whines,Ā āI look like a butler.ā
āSweetheart, you look wonderful. The princess will just love you in this,ā she gushes. Jack doesnāt say what heās thinking - that he honestly doesnāt care what the princess thinks of his outfit.
Princess Julia is kind, sweet, and pretty. Sheās quiet and somewhat introverted, like himself. They get along just fine, conversations always polite if not a little awkward. Jackās known her for as long as he can remember, and heās been engaged to her for longer than that. Jack thinks he could be happy with her, if it werenāt for one thing.
Prince Eric is also kind, sweet, and pretty, but he certainly isnāt quiet or introverted. Heās loud, loud, loud, always bustling around, catching everyoneās attention, and loving it. Heās the center of every royal party, and the most interesting person in any room heās in. Eric is Juliaās twin brother, so Jackās also known him as long as he can remember. Heās had a crush on him for the past ten years or so - maybe longer.Ā
He sees the twins once every few months or so, and tonight is one of those special occasions where he has to dress up and spend five or so hours standing next to Julia and smiling.
āPrince Jack!ā Queen Suzanne exclaims when they walk into the parlor. Sheās always particularly excited to see Jack, and it never fails to make him blush.
āMomma, do you have to scream every time that poor boy walks into the room?ā Eric teases, throwing a wink at Jack. Jack can feel how hot his cheeks are, just from this little bit of teasing. Well, that and the fact that Ericās wearing a deep blue suit thatās making Jackās mouth go dry. āCāmon, Jack, Iāll save you from her wrath,ā he jokes, reaching out to grab Jackās wrist and tug him from the room. Jackās skin is tingly and hot where Ericās touching him. He tries not to spontaneously combust when Eric pulls him up the stairs and into his bedroom.
āJules is still getting ready,ā Eric explains,Ā āBut I figure we can hang out in here while you wait. Unless youād rather go check on her, of course.ā
āNo, no,ā Jack says, way too fast,Ā āIām, um. Iām good right here.ā
āLucky me,ā Eric grins, flopping down on his sofa and pulling out his phone. This is nothing new to Jack. Ericās affinity for social media perplexes him - they spend most of their lives in the public eye, why would they want to share even more with people. Thatās not to say that Jack didnāt make a private Twitter just to follow him, though.
āTweeting again, Bittle?ā Jack laughs, sitting down gingerly next to Eric on the couch.
āLaugh it up, Zimmermann,ā Eric sneers, sticking his tongue out. He brings his phone up and says,Ā āSmile quick!ā before snapping a picture. Jack watches as Eric exams the picture, groaning as he says,Ā āGosh, how do you look this good in a dang surprise picture? Those cheekbones, Jack, I swear. Iām tweeting this.ā
Jack tries to cough to cover up the nervous giggle he lets out. Itās unfair, he thinks, that heās known Eric his whole life and is still this flustered by the boy.Ā āDonāt you have your own date you should be tweeting, Bittle?ā Jack says, mostly teasing, but genuinely curious.
āNah,ā Eric shrugs,Ā āI told Momma and Daddy last month that I wasnāt going to put any more poor girls through the misery of being my date, and Iām definitely not ready to come out just so I can take a cute boy to a party, so.ā
Ericās sexuality is what Jack would describe as one of the best worst-kept secrets ever. It hasnāt gotten out to the media or the public, but all of the royal families are well aware of it. Jackās known since he was 17 and Eric and Julia were 15. It didnāt exactly help with Jackās crush.
āGuess itās a good thing you werenāt engaged before you could walk, then, eh?ā Jack smiles a little sadly.
āOh, I donāt know,ā Eric sighs,Ā āSometimes I think it wouldāve been easier, you know? Like, maybe if I just had someone - some girl - that I grew up knowing I would be with, then things would be different.ā
Jack doesnāt know what it is that makes him say it, but he canāt help the way he blurts out,Ā āI can tell you right now that it isnāt easier, and it doesnāt make anything different.ā
āYou - what?ā
Heās pretty much halfway out by now, so he might as well keep going.Ā āIām gay. Or bisexual, maybe. Iām not really sure. Iāve only ever had serious feelings for one person, and uh - heās - youāre a guy, so.ā
āJack,ā Eric breathes out.
āI donāt - you donāt have to say anything. I know itās, like, really shitty to spring this on you, when Iām engaged to your sister, and you donāt even have feelings for me - ā
āI do, though,ā Eric interrupts him.Ā āGod, Jack, of course I do. And I thought - I could deal with it when it was one-sided pining.ā
āEric, I - ā
Jackās interrupted again, but this time itās by the other Bittle twin. He winces as Julia walks in, eyes raking over them both.
āSo have you two figured out that youāre in love, then?ā She asks.
āJules - ā Eric tries.
āEric Richard Bittle, donāt you dare say youāre sorry,ā she warns,Ā āIām not sad, or angry, or anything like that. Iāve known since we were, like, nine years old. Iām your twin, I can sense things like this,ā she laughs, shoving a little at Ericās shoulder.Ā āPlus, this one over hereās been so obvious with his heart-eyes Iām surprised the whole dang world hasnāt picked up on it,ā she adds, nodding towards Jack. Itās a struggle for Jack not to duck his head in embarrassment.
āWhat do we do?ā Eric huffs.
āRight now, Iām going to go up to my room and pretend to beĀ āgetting readyā for the next half hour so you two can finally make out or something. Then weāre going to go to this party and pretend to enjoy ourselves while a bunch of diplomats get drunk. Then, tomorrow, we tell Momma and Daddy,ā Julia states calmly.
āOh god, Momma and Daddy,ā Eric chokes out. Jack wants to reach out and hold his hand so badly. He settles for pressing his leg against Ericās.
āHonestly, Eric, I think theyāll be okay. They love you. And, I mean, theyāll still get a Bittle-Zimmermann marriage - just not the one they thought they were getting. Jack, will your parents - ā
Jack thinks about his mama and papa, how theyāve always told him that all they wish for is his happiness, and he just knows that itās true when he says,Ā āThey would support me. Support us.ā
āWell then itās settled!ā Julia smiles, turning to leave the room.Ā āIāll see you boys in half an hour! Donāt wrinkle your suits too much.ā
Thereās a moment or two after she closes the door where Jack and Eric are frozen looking at each other. Jack is so overwhelmed, with love for Eric and appreciation for Julia and an endless stream of possibilities and happiness that just opened up for him. They both lean in at once, and then heās overwhelmed for a whole different reason, because Ericās lips on his are nothing short of perfect.
...like a Disney World for people who are in that in-between stage of going to Disney World with their parents and going to Disney WorldĀ asĀ parents, but with loveseats and bunk beds instead of Space Mountain."
Went on our annual trip to IKEA today and remembered I wrote a little Zimbits ficlet about Jack's first trip to IKEA like a million years ago.
