Insomnia
A Drabble to get back into the swing of writing. And also because I miss Yoongi.
Summary: late night FaceTimes with the bestie and he is complaining about not being able to sleep properly.
Warnings: flirting (friends to ???), heavy talks about sex and masturbation, Yoongi is an asshole, Reader is a brat, marijuana used and mentioned(drug use) only by reader. Yoongi got a big dick.
He complained about not being able to sleep during one of your late night video calls. And you in the middle of choking from your last bong rip tell your dear dear friend to go bust a nut.
“What the fuck?”
You place your newly purchased pumpkin shaped bong on your desk and lean in close to your phone that was perched up on a small stand by your computer. After clearing your throat you proceed to go into a long lecture about how busting a nut or having an orgasm was a great stress reliever and an excellent sleeping aid.
“You can’t be serious..”
“Look as someone with a nightquil pussy. I know what I’m talking about Yoongi.”
You saw the image on the phone moving before familiar cat like eyes greeted your own.
“The fuck?”
You can’t help but smile at the clear look of shocked disbelief on your friend's face. But you were being completely serious.
“Some guy I used to talk to said my pussy is so good it puts him to sleep.” You nod along with the story as you focus back on the show that was currently playing on your computer screen. Batman Beyond. You were feeling nostalgic tonight.
“Are you flexing your gorilla grip? “
His words had your body quaking with laughter, so much so that tears peaked from the outer corner of your eyes.
“Dude no! I’m just saying go fuck or I don’t know rub one out, maybe then you’ll sleep.”
You heard the man mumble something but you missed it due to Terry asking Bruce if he could take the dog on a mission. It really is ridiculous how attractive this 2D character looked.
“It could help, when was the last time you had sex?”
You looked back at your phone just in time to see the man lean back in his computer chair, headphones handing around his neck as his face takes on a thoughtful look.
“Hmm Leah…yeah her.”
You blink at your friends response. Leah? That was over 6 months ago, Leah was someone Yoongi was seeing but about a couple of months of fucking around the two suddenly called it quits.
“That was six months ago? Have you at least masturbated?”
Yoongi’s face frowned in a way it looked like he suddenly bit into a lemon. “What no, I can go without it I’m not some sex obsessed meat head”
You continue to watch your friend, the show no longer your main focus, resting elbows on the table you cup your chin.
“Really? I feel like I go a little crazy if I don’t flick the bean at least once a week.”
Yoongi snorts and shakes his head at your confession. “Why doesn’t that surprise me..”
You gasped playfully at him and firmly place your hands on the table. “Are you slut shaming me Min Yoongi?”
You are awarded with one of his gummy smiles and soft laughs. “Absolutely not, I’m just saying you give off the vibes of a grown woman thriving in her beauty.”
“You have a way with words…how the fuck are you single?”
You really wanted to know, because your friend was a catch. He made 6 figures and was a thriving music producer for a well known record label. And plus he was beautiful, like drop dead gorgeous.
“I’m an asshole, remember.”
Now it was your turn to laugh again. Yoongi had a smart mouth and no filter. And everything he said, he meant. There was never any miscommunication when it came to him, so when he tells you about yourself…which he does often. People tend to get offended.
“Oh you’re not that bad.”
Another snort leaves him as you watch him busy himself with whatever he is working on. “Leah told me if my dick wasn’t so big she would have left me much earlier in our ‘relationship’.”
You hit the space bar on your keyboard, pausing your show and proceed to give Yoongi your undivided attention. Because what the hell did he just say?
“Who the fuck is flexing now…?”
The man just shrugs his shoulder and smirks, “She then called me an asshole and told me to call her once I fix my personality.”
“Your personality? She wants you to call her again? The hell? How big is your dick!?” You never would have thought this would be something you’d ask Yoongi. But Leah had explained to you once before that a good dick should never be wasted.
“Don’t know, I’ve never actually measured…I have had complaints about it being too big, so yeah I guess above average …?” Yoongi tappers off and you can hear soft clicking from his keyboard.
A full on whine leaves your throat as you drop your upper body down on top of the desk. “Are you kidding me? You are walking with a weapon between your legs sir and you are saying it’s been 6 months?!”
“I like the real deal..fucking my hand just seems…sad.”
“There is nothing sad about finding pleasure.” You say as you reach for your bong and lighter setting up to take another rip.
“No there isn’t…just not my cup of tea.” Yoongi watches as you take another hit, this one a lot smoother than the last as it doesn’t leave you in a semi coughing fit.
Exhaling the smoke slowly, you put the bong and lighter down and lean back in your own desk chair. “Do you like look down on people who do it? Like is it a turn off for you are something?”
You look back at your phone a bit surprised to find Yoongi already staring right at you.
“Nah nothing like that…”
Yoongi glances away from the phone and back to what you assumed was his own computer. It looks like he was home, but in his own home studio instead.
“I really think if you just rubbed one out right now you’d finally get some good sleep.”
You reach out hit the space bar on your keyboard unpausing your show.
“Weird way of asking for phone sex…didn’t know you cared for me like that”
Looking back at your phone you see just the corner of Yoongi’s lips turned upward into a half smile. “You don’t believe in masturbation, but you are good with phone sex? How does that even work?”
You hear clicking stop on his end and his eyes turn back to yours. “Words, I’m really good with words.”
You stare at your friend for a few seconds as another thought formulates in your mind. Later you could possibly blame your next question on the weed but who were you kidding even sober you wanted to know this answer.
“What do you mean?”
This time it was Yoongi’s turn to stare, though he said nothing, it was as if his eyes were trying to tell you something but you just couldn’t pick up on it. Finally when he opened his mouth it sadly wasn't the answer you were waiting for.
“How high are you right now?”
“Very, now answer the question.”
Yoongi laughs and does something on his computer before he takes off his headphones and places them down on the desk. “Why do you want to know?”
“I’m curious and a little horny.” You tell him honestly, you’ve never been one to hide anything from the man. Because just like him, you also didn’t have a filter.
Yoongi arches one brow and leans close into the camera, “Horny? Sounds like someone’s been projecting…”
You roll your eyes and cross your arms firmly over your chest. “ This was only a recent development, it’s a nature response when the topic of a big dick gets brought up.”
“Oh so you got hot thinking about my dick?”
This time Yoongi is the one who rests his chin on his hand his attention now fully on you and it’s weird how much your heart rate jumps because of it.
“Not your dick just the idea of a big dick.”
“Big dicks turn you on?”
You look at your computer screen but you aren’t really taking in the fight scene in front of you. “I know it’s not for everyone, but I like being full and just stretched to the brim. You know?”
Yoongi hums, “ I don’t but I’ll take your word for it.
You snort and drop your head to the back of your chair. “Big dicks just hit all the right places for me.”
“Right places?”
“Yeah, nice and deep. The stroke game needs to be strong.”
“Nice and slow? Or a little rough?”
Your eye closes a bit in thought as you shift in your seat. “Can’t it be both? “
“It can, sounds like you want it to be eased in slowly but still get your guts rearranged.”
You can’t help but groan at his words. “Fuck exactly!” Opening eyes you look back down at your phone. “6 months is just too long for me to go without that feeling.”
Yoongi nodded along with you. “You still talking to that one guy, sounds like you need to hang up with me and make another phone call.”
You make a face and quickly shake your head. “Eww no, he started getting weird.”
“Weird how?”
You watched as Yoongi's normally calm demeanor tense up. “ Down boy, I just mean when I told him about my friendship with you he started acting possessive. Saying how men and women can’t just be friends.”
“I mean he’s wrong, but you did just get wet from thinking about my dick.”
“God you are an asshole.”
“An asshole with a big dick.”
“You’re unbelievable.”
“So is my dick.”
You two burst out laughing, both of your body’s shaking with mirth.
You stay on the phone for another 20 minutes before you decide to call it a night.
You find yourself crawling into your bed when your phone dings to alert you of a text, looking at your phone you see that it’s from Yoongi.
‘8.5’
Frowning you type back a response, a bit confused at his message.
‘?’
‘8.5 inches.’
You stare at your phone until something suddenly clicked for you, sitting up you click on Yoongi’s name and immediately called the man back.
“Hard or soft?!”
A deep rumble of his voice greets your ear, “Does it matter?”
You scoff at his question but still demand that he answer it.
“Soft…you happy.”
“No, because that’s not even an accurate measurement. What the fuck am I going to do with a soft dick?”
“So you do want my dick?”
You hung up on him after that. And put your phone on silent. You needed to think about this sober because a big part of you definitely wanted to say yes.
