heck man I did some words today and Iām going to ramble about them
I jumped ahead to some climax chapters because in terms of motivation to write Iāll take what I can get
anyway I wrote a scene where Tris has to deal with some pretty horrific shit and Iām not sure I succeeded in making any of it horrific enough. Like at one point a patch of city just stops existing, which sounds alarming but not horrifying until you really stop and think about what that means
I had an interesting time trying to figure out how to describe it in terms of āeverything is something but this is nothing, itās just a gap in reality, thereās no colour at all not even empty whiteness, thereās no sense of light or dark itās just neither, it has no dimensions and itās not liquid or solid or gas, itās completely empty, there is literally nothing here, not even nothingness, and it is truly truly sickeningā exceptā¦.. short, succinct and terrifying
and u imagine youāre just this well-meaning human kid who didnāt really understand what the hell they were getting involved in and suddenly youāve just happened to see this complete lack of everything and your tiny human brain is not equipped to process it in any way because why the fuck would it be
i mean the only okay part about this is that as soon as Tris looks away from the non-existing patch of whatever he immediately forgets what it looks like aside from that it left him feeling really really sick and messed up, because his brain canāt retain that information or process that memory at all? it would be like trying to picture a new colour, only that new colour is trying to kill you
and I mean AYFTB all in all is a frolicking YA adventure about love and friendship and finding ur place in the world and the good of humanity but Tris saysĀ āfuckā seventeen times in this scene alone
shoutout to literally anything by Of Monsters And Men because thatās just what Iām feelin
