#zel meta

ok genuinely i’m so tired of this. so, so tired of this. obviously not all biracial people are the same, and we have our own experiences/histories based on our own racial identities, but a lot of the biracial ZK friends that i’ve made via tumblr/ao3 have the same or similar opinions that i do, and we are TIRED. that being said, i’m not speaking for all biracial people, but i’m speaking from a place of personal experience.

those who headcanon Fire Lady Katara are not inherently in the wrong. those who do not headcanon Fire Lady Katara are ALSO not inherently in the wrong either. there are racist/sexist ways to execute this headcanon, the same way there are with literally every other headcanon. those who attack this trope, though, need to evaluate themselves because the reasons they give are often sexist and racist (ironically lol).

i’m literally half Asian (from a country that was heavily colonized by other Asian countries). did my Asian parent have to give up their Asian culture in order to be with my non-Asian parent? NO. did my Asian parent have to give up their Asian identity in order to be with my non-Asian parent? NO. did the presence of my non-Asian parent completely erase all the harmful racism my Asian parent experienced growing up? OF COURSE NOT.

i’ve read a LOT of ZK fic over the past few months, and i can say that i’ve read most, if not all, of the major Fire Lady Katara fics that exist within the fandom, and i cannot name a single one where Katara is forced to give up her culture in favor of Zuko’s. even in various ZK art pieces that feature Fire Lord Zuko and Fire Lady Katara, Katara often has Water Tribe furs and symbols incorporated with her regalia, and sometimes ZUKO does too. my non-Asian parent wears the traditional dress of my Asian parent’s culture when the situation calls for it, and my Asian parent does the same. (and that’s just an example with clothing - there are tons more applicable situations). interracial relationships are (under most circumstances) a blending of all the cultures present, and often, incorporating the other’s culture into daily life is an act of love. my non-Asian parent LOVES my Asian parent’s culture and does everything in their power to respect it, cherish it, and help my Asian parent to pass it down to their children (like me, lol). i can’t imagine Zuko not doing the same for Katara. 

similarly with the above point, i can’t recall any Fire Lady Katara fic where Katara’s racial identity gets erased in favor of Zuko’s. just because those fics tend to occur in the Fire Nation doesn’t mean that she’s... not Water Tribe anymore. just because my Asian parent does not live in an Asian country doesn’t make them any less Asian. i’m not spending much time on this point because it literally doesn’t make sense.

i do think that it’s important to mention, though, that Zuko’s presence in Katara’s life does not erase the way the Fire Nation hurt her. that hurt will likely always exist because those types of wounds go deep. but at the end of the day, they’re both two PEOPLE. they’re Katara and Zuko. the same way that Indians marry British people or Koreans marry Japanese people, people from the Water Tribe can marry those in the Fire Nation. to imply that a marriage couldn’t occur between someone from the Fire Nation and someone else from the Water Tribe is stupid because it happens all the time in the real world.

i honestly think it’s really stupid that some SJWs act as though they’re doing non-white or biracial or multiracial people a favor by attacking a headcanon that was created and has been largely supported by those who are oppressed in the real world bc of their race. obviously the Fire Lady Katara trope isn’t for everyone, but to imply that it’s racist and sexist while tearing down the POCs who headcanon it? really? don’t get me wrong, i LOVE Katara (i would do anything for her, no lie), but how is attacking real POCs better than defending imaginary ones? sorry not sorry, but that’s stupid.

the Fire Lady Katara trope has the potential to grant Katara with tons of agency, not only within her relationship with her significant other, but also with the country that HURT her (so she can prove any of the prejudiced Fire Nation people the hell wrong and provide protection for the Water Tribe in a post-war world). 

and going a step further, personally, i identify heavily with Zutara Steambabies (as i know a bunch of my other biracial ZK friends do) because of the intricacy behind their racial identities. a Fire Nation and Water Tribe union WOULD be complicated due to the countries’ histories together, but that doesn’t make it impossible. love CAN be born despite broken histories and deep-set prejudices. that’s part of what makes Zutara so beautiful, in my opinion. 

finally, i don’t know what people are on when they attack mostly only Zutara for these sort of headcanons. don’t y’all realize that 85% of all the canon/fanon ships within the ATLA-verse are interracial?? K*taang is interracial. Sukka is interracial. Taang is interracial. Z*kka is interracial. Jetko is interracial. Azutara is interracial. Jue is interracial. Tokka is interracial. Jetara is interracial. Ty Lokka is interracial. Jinko is interracial. (I COULD GO ON). y’all are straight CLOWNING if you only come for Zutara shippers on the grounds that we’re being racist and sexist for having a headcanon like Fire Lady Katara. don’t be a hypocrite.

additionally, just because you’re poc or biracial or multiracial does not mean that you can’t be racist. so many of the people who attack this headcanon pull the “i’m biracial!” or “i’m a poc!” card. I’M NOT HAVING IT. it’s okay if the trope isn’t for you! you’re free to headcanon whatever you want. to be blatantly racist to other poc or biracial or multiracial ppl who headcanon, though, it is wrong. we already catch enough flack irl for being what we are without people attacking us in our fandom spaces too.

ok y'all

i've got multiple asks about my opinion regarding the whole Sh*rtless Z/ko Sunday thing, and i do want to preface this all by saying that i do have friends and mutuals who participate(?) in this event(?) so i am in no way meaning to shame anyone or be the fandom's purity police as some anons have been claiming i'm attempting to be, lol

that all being said, i am half East Asian, and upon really thinking on the reasons why this "event" in particular irks me personally, i've come to the following conclusions which i hope you will read through with an open mind.

there's nothing necessarily "wrong" with this "event" to most people. yes, Z/ko is a bunch of pixels. yes, he's a cartoon character. yes, plenty of ppl draw diff characters shirtless. i'm in plenty of different fandoms that draw characters shirtless. whatever. Z/ko, however, is an East Asian coded character so i do believe that i have the right to speak on this

this "event" isn't necessarily "wrong" in terms of the fact that it technically does not actually hurt East Asians physically; however, i do believe that it is a SYMPTOM of a larger issue at hand

of course there are people who are participating in the "event" harmlessly and do not realize that they are worsening such a symptom. but there are others who are doing it intentionally which i think is very worrisome as someone who's an East Asian

the mass consumption of anime, kpop, jpop, kdramas, cdramas, media based on Asian culture such as ATLA, etc, etc, etc has led to a WIDESPREAD issue within fandom regarding the fetishization of East Asians

before you argue with me and say that is not true, i ask that you peruse the fandoms of popular animes or kpop groups (like BTS)

for years, East Asians have dealt with racism and hate and dehumanization regarding sex work and war brides and the Chinese Exclusion Act and the Japanese internment camps and all this other really terrible stuff that i will not get into at the moment because it's too upsetting for me to even discuss (i urge you to Google). that all being said, now, we (East Asians) not only have to deal with the trauma of those sorts of issues, but we also are forced to watch as our people are sexualized and fetishized to disturbing degrees

Sh*rtless Z/ko Sunday is an example of how this phenomenon has manifested itself even in the Z/tara fandom. in the past year or so, a few key members of the Z/tara fandom has always insisted that the Z/kka fandom fetishizes both Z/ko and S/kka. but, if that's the case, then what is Sh*rtless Z/ko Sunday?

it's yet another way that a bunch of pixels that are meant to represent an East Asian coded boy (don't you dare tell me he's "just from the Fire Nation" shut the hell up) wind up fetishized by primarily wh/te women!!

again, i don't give a damn about what you do or what you post as long as it's tagged properly, but i do want you to understand the ramifications of what you post. think of all the East Asians who are literally traumatized because of people constantly pulling their eyes at us or using our cultures/looks as an aesthetic (like the foxeye trend) or fetishizing us and our culture while k/lling us and being racist to us (like the mass shooting in Atlanta, Georgia, where several East Asian women who were working at spas were m/rdered)

even the argument "Z/ko's just a bunch of pixels!!" pisses me off because who do you think he's supposed to represent??!! what do you think he means to all the little East Asian kids who've never seen themselves represented onscreen before?!!!

don't even get me STARTED on the way that K/tara is dealt with within the Z/tara fandom. i'm not brown so i won't speak on such an issue personally, but i do know that many of my friends who are have been incredibly frustrated with the way K/tara is treated in fandom too

first i had people comparing K*ylo Ren to Zuko, and now they're comparing him to Matthias Helvar i-

okay, y'all, prepare yourselves; if you're a R*ylo, please stop reading this now and block the anti R*ylo tag; i'm tagging this properly to prevent discourse, but this really needs to be said

beginning with Matthias Helvar,

although Matthias started out as a druskelle, his whole family was slaughtered by Inferni soldiers; he was twisted from a young age toward hatred because of the way his family was lost. from his perspective, becoming a druskelle and ending the Grisha were the only ways he thought he'd be able to avenge his family with honor

this all changed when he met Nina; they saved each others' lives multiple times; they went from being enemies to allies to almost lovers to enemies to allies to friends to lovers; he learned that the Grisha were MORE than just coldblooded killers, and he understood that the druskelle ways were wrong

compare this to K*lo Ren:

K*lo Ren began on the right path, but then he deliberately chose darkness when he knew it was dark and evil and wrong. he murdered his father. he killed children. he tortured countless people. he committed genocide

he did NOT reform from his ways. he did not receive a good redemption arc. he didn't have a moment where he realized that the First Order was wrong - he just felt like he had to step in against Palpatine. he was never held accountable (yes i know it's because he died), but the movie hardly addresses the various atrocities he'd committed

so why are people insisting that Matthias and K*lo are alike? i get that they're both grumpy giants, but one is clearly evil, and the other is redeemed and good and loving

So I honestly wasn’t sure if I was going to respond to this ask (just because I tend to stay away from fandom discourse), but when it comes to my girl Katara, I can’t help myself so I wrote this anyways. There are a ton of really amazing analyses of the comics and how the Kataang relationship plays out within them so this will be a sort of personal meta based on my own life experiences.

Again, I’m going to preface this by saying that I’m no expert, and this is based purely off my OWN experiences (and my own research and my own interactions). That being said, let’s get on with the meta.

One of the things that stood out to me from within the original ask is Katara’s age (14 in ATLA and 15 in the comics), and in preparation for writing this take, I spent a lot of time reflecting on the time when I was a 14/15 year old girl. During that time of my life, I went through one of the worst relationships of my life – I won’t go into much detail, but it was toxic and manipulative, and it was with a boy who was actually a bit younger than me.

On a fairly regular basis, I work with both preteens (10-12 year olds) and younger teens (13-15 year olds) as a mentor. Though a lot of them deal with relationship drama, I can honestly say that most of them are not ready to be in a relationship. The same can be said for both Katara and Aang (or just Aang, at the very least). 

If I’m being completely honest, I can see Katara potentially being in a relationship. She’s often portrayed as the most mature member of the Gaang (alongside Zuko toward the end of ATLA season three), and she’s had romantic encounters in the past (those inklings of a thing with both Haru and Jet). Despite all that, though, I’d honestly have loved to see Katara explore herself as a person outside of relationships in the comics (because she’s literally 14/15 and she’s been through war and she’s had her childhood snatched from her). Even still, I wouldn’t have been vehemently opposed to the idea of her being in a relationship because again, she’s 14/15, and that’s when girls “typically” have a greater interest in having one.

Aang, though… Aang is a different story entirely. The fact that boys tend to mature slower than girls is no secret, and there are several studies you can Google right now that discuss the nuance of it. From my own experience working with both girls and boys around Aang’s age (12-13), the boys tend to act at least a year or two younger than the girls of the same age, particularly when it comes to things like dealing with emotions or romantic interest. I’ve had a few discussions on this with my own mentor who’s taught within that age range for over twenty years now, and she’s confirmed my observations. This is not a hard rule, of course, but preteen/teenage boys tend to act roughly a year or two younger than their numerical age. Contextualizing this for Aang, that means that he acts ~10 years old, and this is definitely portrayed/shown throughout the course of ATLA (and the comics).

Not only does Katara have two physical years on Aang (no, we are not counting the 100 years that Aang was in the damn iceberg), she also has several years on him maturity-wise.

Obviously just because a couple has an age gap doesn’t mean that their relationship cannot work. There are tons of girls who date younger guys and have healthy relationships. This, though, usually occurs once both parties’ maturities have levelled so that they’re on equal footing.

This is not the case for Katara and Aang.

They’re both very, very young. They both don’t know who they are as people. Generally, getting into a relationship at such young ages is a very bad idea, particularly when it stems from teenhood into adulthood. There are always exceptions to this, but it’s very easy to lose yourself in another person, especially when your own identity as a person is still not fully formed yet.

That toxic relationship I referred to that I was in when I was 14/15? I ended up in a very similar role to Katara. I would constantly take care of the boy I was with and clean up his messes. If he owed people money, they would come to me and ask for it. If he offended someone, I’d have to apologize on his behalf. If he did something stupid, I’d correct it. When other girls would flirt with him, I’d tolerate it and let it happen because I didn’t know how to express how awful it made me feel. I’d placate him and reassure him and defer to him because that’s how our relationship was. 

This is dynamic of the Kataang relationship. 

The girl allows the boy to make decisions for her rather than coming to one together. 

The girl tolerates the boy flirting with other girls because she doesn’t know how to say how much she hates it.

The girl has to hold the boy together because he’ll lose it if she doesn’t.

The girl doesn’t believe that she deserves better treatment because she’s grown so used to the way the boy treats her and disregards her feelings.

It’s unfortunate, but throughout the comics and LOK, it’s apparent that Aang became Katara’s reason. Her purpose.

And I honestly think that that’s horrifying. I don’t care if she’s “just” a cartoon/comic character. Countless little girls look up to her and adore her and see themselves in her. It’s incredibly problematic to have this sort of toxic relationship play out to such a large audience and be seen as “adorable” and “cute” and “wholesome.”

It only perpetuates this idea that girls need a boy to be their reason. It leads to these little thoughts being planted in their minds. It leads to them justifying a boy’s mistreatment of them because “Aang did it to Katara, and their relationship is GOALS so maybe my relationship is too!”

I’m endlessly grateful that I escaped the relationship I was in. I didn’t make it out unscathed, and I will always carry the scars I received from it to this day. But I didn’t end up married to him, and I didn’t have kids with him, and I’ve been able to establish who I am as a person without him. I’ve been able to leave him and the insecurities/hurts of our relationship behind me, and as I keep moving forward, I heal more and more every day.

Katara doesn’t receive this reprieve. She’s in a toxic relationship from the time that she’s 14, and it affects her deeply until the end of her life. She doesn’t get to discover who she is without Aang. She caters to her partner and constantly has to corral him. She’s left constantly with her two non-airbending children. I have nothing against healing, but the whole warrior aspect of her character is reduced to essentially nothing. It’s horrifying.

I think it’s really, really sad that Katara becomes simply known as “the Avatar’s girlfriend/wife.” It’s not right. More people should be upset by this. More people should recognize the toxicity of the Kataang relationship. More people should realize that the very traits they occasionally condemn in real men are also in Aang.

Bryke did a disservice to both Katara AND Aang through their relationship. Katara’s character shouldn’t have had to revolve around someone else, and Aang’s character shouldn’t have been allowed to stagnate so sharply.

I desperately hope that girls don’t end up in situations like mine or Katara’s. I desperately hope that boys will understand that there needs to be an equality in a relationship. I desperately hope that, if you’re in this sort of unhealthy situation currently, this post can give you the hope and courage to at least begin thinking about what’s best for – not only your partner – but also for you, as a person.

All that being said, Kataang is NOT a good representation of a healthy relationship. At all. Period. Stop romantacizing it, for the love of all women (and others! [because women aren’t the only ones who end up being trapped in toxic relationships – but that’s a discussion for another time]) who are caught up in ones like it.

For those who may have missed it, I’ll say it again.

Kataang is NOT a good representation of a healthy relationship. 

Look at it for what it is, beyond all the nostalgia and misogyny.

ok y'all

i've got multiple asks about my opinion regarding the whole Sh*rtless Z/ko Sunday thing, and i do want to preface this all by saying that i do have friends and mutuals who participate(?) in this event(?) so i am in no way meaning to shame anyone or be the fandom's purity police as some anons have been claiming i'm attempting to be, lol

that all being said, i am half East Asian, and upon really thinking on the reasons why this "event" in particular irks me personally, i've come to the following conclusions which i hope you will read through with an open mind.

there's nothing necessarily "wrong" with this "event" to most people. yes, Z/ko is a bunch of pixels. yes, he's a cartoon character. yes, plenty of ppl draw diff characters shirtless. i'm in plenty of different fandoms that draw characters shirtless. whatever. Z/ko, however, is an East Asian coded character so i do believe that i have the right to speak on this

this "event" isn't necessarily "wrong" in terms of the fact that it technically does not actually hurt East Asians physically; however, i do believe that it is a SYMPTOM of a larger issue at hand

of course there are people who are participating in the "event" harmlessly and do not realize that they are worsening such a symptom. but there are others who are doing it intentionally which i think is very worrisome as someone who's an East Asian

the mass consumption of anime, kpop, jpop, kdramas, cdramas, media based on Asian culture such as ATLA, etc, etc, etc has led to a WIDESPREAD issue within fandom regarding the fetishization of East Asians

before you argue with me and say that is not true, i ask that you peruse the fandoms of popular animes or kpop groups (like BTS)

for years, East Asians have dealt with racism and hate and dehumanization regarding sex work and war brides and the Chinese Exclusion Act and the Japanese internment camps and all this other really terrible stuff that i will not get into at the moment because it's too upsetting for me to even discuss (i urge you to Google). that all being said, now, we (East Asians) not only have to deal with the trauma of those sorts of issues, but we also are forced to watch as our people are sexualized and fetishized to disturbing degrees

Sh*rtless Z/ko Sunday is an example of how this phenomenon has manifested itself even in the Z/tara fandom. in the past year or so, a few key members of the Z/tara fandom has always insisted that the Z/kka fandom fetishizes both Z/ko and S/kka. but, if that's the case, then what is Sh*rtless Z/ko Sunday?

it's yet another way that a bunch of pixels that are meant to represent an East Asian coded boy (don't you dare tell me he's "just from the Fire Nation" shut the hell up) wind up fetishized by primarily wh/te women!!

again, i don't give a damn about what you do or what you post as long as it's tagged properly, but i do want you to understand the ramifications of what you post. think of all the East Asians who are literally traumatized because of people constantly pulling their eyes at us or using our cultures/looks as an aesthetic (like the foxeye trend) or fetishizing us and our culture while k/lling us and being racist to us (like the mass shooting in Atlanta, Georgia, where several East Asian women who were working at spas were m/rdered)

even the argument "Z/ko's just a bunch of pixels!!" pisses me off because who do you think he's supposed to represent??!! what do you think he means to all the little East Asian kids who've never seen themselves represented onscreen before?!!!

don't even get me STARTED on the way that K/tara is dealt with within the Z/tara fandom. i'm not brown so i won't speak on such an issue personally, but i do know that many of my friends who are have been incredibly frustrated with the way K/tara is treated in fandom too

no one ever bashes Sokka for getting emotional about his mom or for being “obnoxious” for trying to learn how to waterbend and break gender norms or for taking care of the Gaang. and if they do, then they’re a very small minority.

instead, he’s lifted up as the feminist icon of the whole Avatar-verse, and Katara is shoved beneath the water as though she did nothing throughout the whole damn show. the same thing happens with other female characters like Toph, Suki, and Yue.

that’s a legitimate problem!

no one is saying that Sokka didn’t make leaps and bounds in terms of his mindset change and growth throughout the series, but that does not mitigate the fact that Katara was the one who broke various stereotypes and overcame tremendous hurdles that were placed before her because of her gender.

the fact that people are implying that acknowledging Katara’s growth and accomplishments is wrong and equivalent to hating on Sokka is ludicrous.

if people (especially women of color) are demanding respect for Katara or Suki or Toph or Yue (and in turn, other women of color), they aren’t attacking Sokka! most of them don’t even mention Sokka. how can people not see how utterly ridiculous such an idea is?

gosh, i love Sokka, but the way people idolize him and make him out to be something he’s not is infuriating.