The room is quiet save for the soft sounds of kissing and sheets shuffling.
Damian sits on the edge of your bed, you in his lap, sitting comfy. Your fingers carve through his soft hair, keeping him closer than he already is even when you separate to breathe. His hands wander aimlessly, no end goal in mind, just enjoying the feeling of being close to you.
Until you gasp dramatically, separating to hold him by the shoulders.
“What if Batman and Man-bat are brothers?!"
His shoulders sag from their tense posture and he sighs. You continue, your hands moving wildly.
“Both are bat mutations but one became a hero and one a villain! It's like the ultimate tragic backstory!"
“Hayati-"
“No, think about it. It's so obvious!"
He thought you were joking when you said you needed help with video ideas and then plopped yourself on his lap for a makeout session.
“Please don't think about Batman when we're kissing."
Damian resists kissing the confused pout off your face.
“Why?"
He huffs, pulling your hips closer.
“Because I want you to be thinking about me."
Your eyes soften and you melt into his kiss again. Separating only slightly to mumble against his lips,
“Well…I've never seen you and Batman in the same room so who's to say-"
“I'm not wearing Batman cosplay for you."
You groan in anguish, tipping your head back dramatically. He rolls his eyes at your antics as you rest your head on his shoulder mumbling something about him being a "cruel lover“.
He pats your back, resting his chin on your shoulder only for his eyes to catch the numerous sketches he's drawn for you depicting various heroes from Zatanna to The Flash, each carefully pinned to the wall above your desk.
His eyes then catch the Batman poster right above them and he sighs into your shoulder, wondering how the hell he's going to break the news to you.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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overview: y/n is a 20 year old streamer and youtuber under the alias suve (sue-vay) with over 1.2 million followers on both twitch and youtube. Being a big streamer along with being the friends of the most famous youtubers is a hard task. Dealing with hate comes along way. A big move causes discourse between friendships and even worse, love. but birds always mate for life, or is science wrong?
warnings: cursing, drug talk, sex jokes, anything else immature grown men would talk about.
I think the internet would be witnessing through the camera lens Damian go through the 5 stages of grief when he realizes he in fact actually has a crush on miss yap my mouth off.
God the comments would make fun of him.
Prev
Yes, yes they would <3
After seeing all the comments on your first video featuring only his voice and the video where you just dropped his name, you figured you might as well use this weird reaction from people to benefit your channel!
The next video you upload is titled ‘Exclusive interview with Damian Wayne!’ and starts with the camera being shakily set down on a table, when the lens comes into focus it shows both you and Damian sitting at one of the outside lunch tables at GU.
You clip one of those cheap little mics onto your collar and motion for him to lean in closer so you can clip one on him as well. You don't catch the way he stares at your face the whole time you're trying to get the little thing to clip on, but the camera does.
“Okay! Exclusive interview time. Today I'm here with Damian Wayne, son of…uh-"
While pulling his lunch box from his bag, he mumbles,
“Bruce Wayne."
“Right! Bruce Wayne. Really famous important guy."
Damian huffs, poking his straw into his juice box, not even trying to feign interest in this stupid "interview“. He only agreed to this to make you leave him alone afterwards
“So let's start with the most important question. Do you like Batman?"
He rolls his eyes but nods, black strands falling over his forehead, unhelpfully reminding him that he needs a haircut.
“He keeps the city safe and he does a good job...so does Robin."
That last part is said quieter, right before he pops a fork full of salad in his mouth. You light up, a little surprised that he's actually engaging.
“Who's your favourite Robin?”
“The fourth one, the current one."
“Oh, good choice! People think he's just the scary one but I think he's just a little intense, which makes sense considering his job."
Damian nods, he liked being the ‘The scary one’ for a long time but he's grown and changed, unfortunately his perception as Robin has not.
“The big scary swords probably don't help."
He clicks his tongue at that.
“They’re katanas, not swords, and they're impressive weapons to wield."
"Okay but I'm saying it makes sense that people are scared of the guy running around with two katanas. My favourite Robin is Red Robin, he's got a staff and he does cool tricks and-“
“Staffs are pathetic weapons, katanas are much more impressive and require more skill to use."
Damian points his fork at you, eyebrows furrowed and grimace clear. He simply can't sit back and hear you say that Tim's stupid stick is better than his katanas.
Neither of you pick up on the stares you get from passing students, too engrossed in your conversation. It's surely a little weird to see the youngest Wayne casually engage in discussion like this.
“Just because it's more dangerous doesn't mean it's more impressive."
“You need more skill to wield katanas without fatally wounding an enemy. If it makes the enemy scared of you then you can use that to your advantage as well. Batman uses fear to fight criminals all the time."
He doesn't know why he's explaining this to you. He knows he has more knowledge on weapons than you.
You scoff, shaking your head but clearly having no rebuttal. Your eyes wander to his unopened tub of cookies, resting your head on your hand.
“Yeah, well, he acts scary but I've seen way too many videos of him petting animals on rooftops to think he's actually scary. I think he's just a sweetheart who acts all serious when he's on he job because he wants to be more like Batman. It's kind of cute.”
Damian doesn't look up from his lunch once, if he does you might notice his flushed cheeks.
“…That's ridiculous."
You lean your head down, trying to see his face better.
“What do you mean?"
He puffs out a breath, reaching for the small container. He tries not to sound too indignant when he says,
“He's not cute. He's a vigilante."
“Tell that to the stray dogs and cats of Gotham cit- Oh thanks."
You immediately accept the cookie he offers you, not noticing how he avoids your eyes. You happily chew on it and try to think of what sort of questions you should be asking him.
“I think people want to know more about...your dad or something?"
He sees the conflict clear on your face and offers another cookie as soon as you finish the first.
“What do you want to know?"
He stresses the "you" part just enough for you to get the hint. Taking a bite of the sweet treat, you think for a moment.
“Do you like Wonder Woman?"
Safe to say the rest of the interview was hardly an interview at all, just a forty minute long discussion of superheroes. Despite that, you thought it was an alright video, you got to talk with someone you like about your favourite topic and the video didn't even need that much editing.
If only you knew that both you and Damian would be sitting in your separate dorms just a few hours after the video was posted, both with hot cheeks and running heartbeats, reading the comments left under the video.
Batcatfan: Wow, she really has no idea.
Batarang97: Is he really jealous of Robin rn?
Redhoodshood: He's whipped, babe!
Birdie420: No one remembers the second Robin but me 😞
Jonklebells: Just kiss omg
Twofacetoofurious: Has anyone ever seen him this not angry before?
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
‘I would never’ 🤨🤨🤨 mkayyyyyy load up the camera n get to rolling, the people need their couples content x
Prev
“Pleeeease."
“No. You said you wouldn't make me do that."
He hasn't budged an inch since you brought up the idea, still glaring at the bright red apron in your hands. You may have only been dating for a little while but you expected this response so you pull out the big guns.
“Well, I was gonna donate all the add revenue to charity and just thought a video with you in it would get loads more views but if you don’t want to I guess that’s fine."
You shrug your shoulders, hanging your head in disappointment so he doesn’t see you crack a smile. His eyes narrow further, his expression conveying how betrayed he feels.
“Despicable."
And so, two hours before the fifteenth of February, a video is uploaded onto your channel with the title “Baking a Valentine's cake with my boyfriend for charity!"
The thumbnail shows a very excited you with your Batman apron on, standing in your tiny kitchen next to a stone faced Damian wearing the bright red apron you bought him that says “Kiss the cook"
The video starts with you tying Damian's apron behind his back while the camera catches every inch of doubt on his face.
“This is what they call a hard launch."
“What does that mean?"
Instead of answering you clap your hands together and face the camera.
“Hello, everybody! Welcome to the Valentine's day special!"
Even if he is the son of a famous person, you know very well that it can be uncomfortable being in front of a camera at first so you take the reigns mostly, explaining what the video's going to be while he tries not to look awkward.
“And as a bonus this video is a fundraiser for the...”
You gesture towards him and he speaks to the camera, very serious looking.
“The Gotham Medical Institute."
“Which means if you don't like and share, you hate hospital patients and advancements in medicine."
He huffs in amusement and you open the cook book he gave you to the right page, calling out ingredients to him and he answers with a simple, “check." confirming you have all you need.
“Okay, you do the liquids, I'll do the dries."
The first few steps were actually a pretty genuine attempt at making a decent cake. You worked side by side, pouring, measuring and stirring. You did almost pour the batter into the cake tin without buttering it first, but other than that, it went pretty smoothly.
You lick the batter off your finger in between telling him the time and temperature as he carefully places the cake in the oven.
“Now the fun part."
You waste no time getting everything ready to prepare the frosting.
“I thought we were having fun."
His genuine tone elicits a laugh from you as you drop some red food colouring in a bowl of buttercream. You hand it to him and drop some black food colouring into another bowl. He stops his stirring when he notices,
“Why black?"
“So I can put Batman on the cake, obviously."
He scoffs, giving you a dramatic eye roll.
“They're gonna cancel you for not supporting my interests."
“It's a Valentine's cake."
“And I love Batman so he's on the Valentine's cake."
He looks away, still stirring his pinkish buttercream. Mumbling something about staining your mouth black as you swipe up a huge dollop of icing and stick it in your mouth.
“You can put Robin on the cake too if you want. I know you like him a lot."
“I don't."
You swipe up some black icing off the rim of your bowl, licking it off your thumb.
“I'm not jealous, Babe. I think he's cool too…not as cool as Red Robin but he's pretty cool."
God, how will he explain any of this to his family when they inevitably see it? You both stir your icing until the colours show nicely and Damian places both bowls in the fridge while you shrug at the camera.
“Well, now we just wait for the cake to bake…I guess."
After that there's a cut to the Sponge Bob narrator voice saying, “Forty minutes later." Before cutting back to Damian with his back to the camera as he carefully takes the cooled down cake out of the oven. You fiddle with your rolled up sleeves, not looking at the camera.
When Damian turns you can't control the snort that leaves you when you see his mouth, stained a very slight purplish-black colour. You're sure no one will notice, and if they do they'll probably just assume he had some of the icing and not anything more…salacious.
“Careful….careful!"
Damian gives you a nasty side eye as he very carefully cuts the cake in half hamburger style to give it two layers.
You place a generous amount of cream on the first layer, stepping back proudly to let him gently place the second layer on top.
“Do you think Batman's favourite cake is fruit cake…because he's a Bat?"
“It could be, Belov-."
He coughs into his hand, and you try not to snicker at him almost showing affection on camera. While he smooths down a base layer of icing on the cake, you grab a piping bag and stuff some black icing inside.
“Okay, so do you want to do Batman or Batman and Robin?"
He tries to think which option would be less embarrassing, a rather futile exercise.
“Just Batman is fine."
With a little hesitation, you pipe down the iconic silhouette of the caped crusader's spiked ears. Your face is fill of concentration as you fill in the outline with piped lines. Damian leans against the kitchen table silently, eyes never leaving your face. He blinks slowly, resting his head on his shoulder, just watching you work.
“Can you get the white icing ready?"
You're still concentrating on finishing your lines but when you see from your peripheral that he doesn't move an inch, you give him a confused look.
“Damian?"
He jolts a little, knocking the piping bag off the counter and cursing before picking it up. You try not to laugh at his tinted cheeks, smoothing down your lines with a flat spatula so it looks cleaner.
“Ok, your turn. Do the eyes and mouth."
He carefully leans over the cake, using all his precision to pipe down two scowling eyes and the opening of his father's cowl. He draws the outline of a nose and some highlights as well.
“Wow, you don't even need a reference?"
You lean in distractingly close, watching him pipe his thin lines in awe.
“Isn't this just so romantic, Chat?"
“Who's Chat?"
“Don't worry about it, Babe."
You pat him on the back and he clicks his tongue at the stupid term of affection he swears he hates.
He pipes down some flower swirls on the outer rim of the cake with a bigger nozzle, you pull out some cut strawberries from the fridge and plop them down around the outside of the cake before stepping back and dusting of your hands.
“Aw wow, you did a really good job."
He shrugs, his hands on his hips, assessing his work.
“It's so clean and you even mixed the back and white to make grey shading! And all from memory? I kinda don't want to eat it now.”
Damian starts placing dishes in the sink so he doesn't have to face your praise head on or in front of a camera.
“Thank you, but If you don't eat it then it'll be a waste."
You pull your camera off it's stand to show your audience a better view of your Batman themed Valentine's day cake or maybe your Valentine's themed Batman cake?
“Not if it's for charity! Comment if you'd subscribe to an art channel with talented work like this cause I've been telling him he should start one."
You then turn the camera on yourself, Damian in the background filling the sink with water.
“Thanks for watching and supporting! Happy Valentine's day!"
You wave the camera and Damian gives a small wave as well, even though it looks like it pains him to do so. You stop the recording and place your camera on the table, tip toeing up behind your boyfriend to wrap your arms around his waist and give him a kiss on the cheek.
"Thank you. I appreciate it.“
“It wasn't unbearable."
Water splashes as he runs a sponge over one of the bowls turning the water a reddish-pink.
“Oh, really?"
"Don't get any ideas.“
You snicker evilly, skulking away to your room with your camera.
“That's my secret....I always have ideas."
"I don't understand your references."
---
You spent a little over an hour editing the video so you could post it before Valentine's day is over, a stupid time limit only you put on yourself.
When you finally walked out of your room and found him reading on your couch waiting for you, you crawled into his lap, ate a slice of cake he offered you and then passed out on top of him.
He doesn't care much for the holiday but he's still happy that his first Valentine's with you was successful at least. The serene moment is ruined by multiple notification sounds coming from his phone. He sighs, closing his eyes to enjoy some peace for a little longer before picking up his phone and opening the family group chat.
Stephanie: OHMYGOD DAMIAN'S DATING MY FAVORITE YOUTUBER?!?!
Cassandra: 😱💀🤭
Dick: You're fucking kidding.
Father: Language, Dick.
Duke: You guys look so cute. Good for you dude!👍🏿
Dick: How did this happen? How long? Did you guys know? Does she know? How are you going to tell her?
Todd: Dickie's losing it.
Timothy: She has great taste I see.
Father: Invite her to dinner, Damian.
Cassandra: I liked and shared the video and I also think you should do an art channel :)
Timothy: You could not have picked a funnier person to date man lmao.
Father: Did you tell your girlfriend that Batman is a bat monster?
Todd: 💀💀💀
Father: Damian? Why does she think that?
Messages keep coming through but he shuts his phone off, leaving it on the coffee table. He rests his arms around you, pulling your dead weight closer. He can deal with everything else tomorrow but for now all he wants to focus on is your slow breathes and the smell of your shampoo.
Holy shit my message got chosen for a fic!!!!! I'm so obsessed practically giggling and kicking my feet 🤭
damian saying "He's a mob boss. How could he be a penguin?"
is so fucking funny to me like I feel an anthomorphic penguin mob boss is so comparable to gorilla gordd. like as far as reader is concerned, if a highly intelligence gorilla with telekenisis can become king of fucking Gorilla City, reader sees no reason a very large penguin can't be a mob boss.
and the "He's not a cartoon character, he's a villain and a murderer."
AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED THERE IS STRANGER THINGS IN GOTHAM THAN A GIANT PENGUIN
motherfucking city has two face with a double colored suit and a double colored car, a giant croc man, a bitch obsessed with alice and wonderland, a guy made out of clay and MAN BAT
wait till reader hears firefly isn't a bug man and is just a guy, or when they learn great white shark isn't a fucking shark
im not saying I'm mad for reader but I'm mad for reader
anyways reader would be delighted to hear king shark is a shark
-🌶
Part 1
Ur so right <3
You walk up to Damian the next day while he's sitting alone on one of the outside benches during lunch.
"King Shark is an actual shark."
He side eyes you, releasing a rather dramatic sigh when you sit yourself down next to him.
"Like just an actual shark with legs."
"Yes, what's your point?"
"Well, yesterday you acted like I was ridiculous for thinking that Penguin was a penguin when there's actual sharks with legs running around!"
Damian just stares for a little, trying to figure out if you're genuinely upset or if this is one of those little YouTube pranks.
"Everybody knows Penguin isn't a penguin, I thought you'd know that considering you talk about that stuff so much."
You're glaring at him now as he casually takes another bite of his sandwich.
"Gorilla Grodd is a gorilla, Cheetah is a cheetah, Croc is a croc-"
"Mutation...but yes."
You huff, and carry on counting on your fingers.
"Batman is a bat-man, we've established this. Catwoman is a cat-woman."
He shakes his head and your shoulders sag, if Damian turned to look he'd see the last bit of confidence leave you.
"Firefly...is a bug man?"
Again, he shakes his head.
"Human pyromaniac."
You let out a pained groan. Damian tries not to let his amusement show. You pull out an exam pad and pen from your bag, placing them down on the table, getting much more comfortable than Damian is used to anyone being around him.
You furiously write down some notes, while Damian rather awkwardly looks from his sandwich to you, to the rest of the quad, then back to his sandwich.
"Killermoth?"
He turns to you again, where your eyes watch him expectantly.
"Just a man with gadgets."
You nod rather seriously and write some more stuff down and that's how the rest of lunch went with you consulting him on his various hero/villain knowledge.
For the next month, you'd occasionally pop up out of nowhere to ask him something and then skiddadle away again. He tells himself he definitely doesn't care about whatever stupid video you're making and he only looked your channel up for research purposes and he only checks it now and then out of sheer boredom.
And he only clicks on your latest video titled 'The Anthro Villain Scale' to make sure you didn't say anything stupid that could get you the attention of any said villains.
So there he is, sitting in his room, arms crossed, glaring at his laptop screen as the video starts with you in front of your infamous pinup board.
"So here we have a helpful scale of villains based on how anthropomorphic they are from Joker, who's just a guy, to Gorilla Grodd, who's an actual gorilla. It's basically a furry scale, now that I think about it."
Damian sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose already regretting his decision to even click on the video.
"I got this very interesting idea after I had an argument with a friend about if Penguin was a penguin or not, which apparently it's common knowledge that he's not!"
You slap a printed out picture of the Penguin right next to the Joker on your little scale.
"So yeah, thank you Damian for being such a big help with this video. Anyways-"
You continue on but Damian is barely listening because he's still caught up on the part where you called him your friend.
He wants to scoff, you've only spoken a handful of times and every time it's been about superheros and villains. Why would you even assume he'd watch your video to hear you say that?
Did he really make a good enough impression in those few interactions that you think of him as a friend? That you assumed he'd watch your video because you think he'd support your foolishness? He can feel the heat in his cheeks spread all the way down his neck and shuts his laptop in frustration.
He ends up binge watching your other videos while working out, just for background noise and research purposes, obviously not because he likes hearing your voice and finds your silly theories endearing or anything.
I was thinking of a post abt damian being disappointed the penguin is a penguin and is a guy in a suit (could not find the original post)
And then thought: reader from another city (we will say central city bc its my favorite) and so pissed he isnt a penguin. Like, if a meta in central city was dubbed "the penguin" HED BE A PENGUIN
-🌶
AND and what if it's YouTuber! reader -
It's your first day at Gotham University after moving to the infamous city. You've been assigned a tour guide, some moody guy named Damian, and he's showing you around the place.
You're recording (camera only on yourself because it's rude to film strangers) asking a bunch of the really important questions, none about the university.
"What do you mean the Penguin isn't a penguin?!"
He side-eyes you, as if that's a stupid thing to ask.
"He's a mob boss. How could he be a penguin?"
"Well, why is he called the Penguin?"
"Because he's short and stout and he waddles."
You give him an appalled expression.
"So this whole time people were just making fun of his appearance?!"
He gives you a deadpan look you wish you could get on camera.
"He kills people."
"Maybe that's cus everyone's always being so mean to him about the way he looks and walks?"
The guy turns to you fully with a face so serious it makes you straighten up slightly. "He's not a cartoon character, he's a villain and a murderer."
"Right...sorry."
He turns around again and you rush to follow his strides. You give the jostling camera a little pained expression, indicating you may have fucked up. After a while of walking in excruciating silence, well excruciating for you at least, you try to lighten the mood which is obviously by bringing up your favourite subject.
"I guess I should've known Penguin wasn't a penguin cus Batman's not a literal bat-man."
Without turning around, Damian simply states, "Batman is a bat-man."
You stare at the back of his head, still struggling to keep up with his pace.
"What?"
He clicks his tongue rudely.
"How could a human do the things Batman can do? It's rid-"
"Ridiculous, right?!"
Your voice echoes in the corridor and he glares at you again but you're too excited to have found another Meta Batman truther to look sorry.
"I mean, he only comes out at night. He's like super strong, he doesn't have wings but he can basically glide."
Damian huffs, he doesn't meet your eyes but you swear you see the slightest bit of humour on his face.
"And why else would he dress up like a bat? The cowl is obviously to hide his hideous bat features."
"Oh my god, I didn't even think of that!"
That opened the flood gates, you yapped to him about your Batman theories for the remaining duration of the tour until eventually the bell rang and he showed you to your next class.
You couldn't wait to show your viewers you found a like-minded individual in the wild, so imagine your disappointment when most of the comments are talking about who the guy was rather than your super in-depth theories.
Grodgoon: Girl is that Damian Wayne?!?
Gothamgrrrl: Didn't you recognise him???
Batmanenjoyer69: Batman isn't a meta. He's just built different.
Batleiber: You yapped all that to Bruce Wayne's son??😭💀
