Mengiring-Mu seumur hidup ku (I’ll Follow you for the rest of my life) Masuk dalam rencana-Mu Bapa (And I will walk in your purpose O God) Pikiranku, kehendakku (All of my thoughts and my desires) Kuserahkan pada-Mu (I give it all to You) Harapan ku hanya di dalam-Mu (I've found my hope, I’ve found it all within You) Kukan teguh bersama-Mu Tuhan (I’ll be made stronger in Your Presence O God) Jadikan ku, bejana -Mu (to be Your Vessel I give my life) Untuk memuliakan-Mu (To Glorify Your Name)
Bejana-Mu, by JPCC Worship
Growing up I had my own thoughts and own desires in one specific area. And yet once I reach this point of my life I realize this life is not my own. I cannot find fulfillment in life from my own direction. As soon as I profess I want to live for You, I find Your tests and my own will being stretched. What was what I wanted and desired now stands on the line of choosing You and Your ways or my own. Indeed my own ways, timings, actions and plans are so limited. My sense of development and plans for development and growth plans from a human perspective sounds brilliantly intelligent. Yet, when I re-examine the motives and purposes and start counting the costs, I step back cowardly. My whole plan comes crumbling down as I realize nothing that I could have planned or crafted out would be good enough. No matter how I tried using the mind and this physical self You had created me to be.Â
A daily decision waking up to choose to be Your vessel, I begin to commit. Not knowing what would lies before me, not knowing the in-between moments or the ups and downs. Fear of not being good enough or worthy for such greatness. Fear of the unknown will be there, nevertheless courage is not the absence of fear. I’m writing this to tell myself that it’s okay ! Everything will work out fine and alright, Start right, live right, end right. Keeping the end in mind, I press on ahead with these words in my heart and my heart on the line before my Creator. After all, You are still God. All beginnings and ends are Yours. Life is a gift and a person does not choose her gifts. In the end, my calling first of all is to be the woman that God called me to be, to answer first to my Creator and His Will. To submit in obedience in the littlest things and I trust the greater ones will come.Â
