#youngcoach

Coaching should come from the heart.  I’ve been coaching for a few years now and some things you just learn as you go along, because experience does that to you.

1. You’re not always going to have the answers or know everything about what you’re coaching.  Most of the time you’re not being very constructive or helpful because honestly you don’t always know what the hell is going on or how to teach your kids certain techniques.  Smaller kids are a little easier since you just go back to basics.  Teenagers are a little more challenging because they’re critical thinkers.  There are going to be days, even weeks, where you feel like you don’t know enough or you just don’t know anything.  Luckily, time and experience is on your side.  Personally, I keep a little black book at my training sessions and write down revelations or lessons I’ve learned, because sometimes I’ll just realize something and then later apply it and notice things are going smoother.

2. Some kids are not capable of being coached. Let’s face it.  Coach-ability is a thing, and an important thing at that.  Some kids are just not capable of being able to practically apply what they’re being taught.  I’m not saying you should give up on a kid completely - that specific player might just need some extra work.  But in most cases, when you’re coaching teams that only want to play for fun, you won’t need a lot of tactical coaching.  If you’re coaching a serious team, which I doubt because you are a young coach, there’s no need to put unnecessary pressure on that kid or even on yourself.  People have limits, especially children/teenagers.  As long as you see that they are improving, even at a slow pace, your coaching is effective.

3. Do not deal with parents on your own.  Let me save you a lot tears and frustration and bullshit and give you some solid advice right now.  As a young person, you do not want to deal with a distraught parent. You are not equipped for that shit.  Step back.  Let the higher ups deal with it. If you’re forced to deal with a parent, stay calm.  Calm.  Friendly.  Sing praises of their child.  The senior coaches should handle the tough management regarding parents and you should certainly take note of how they handle it and figure out if you would’ve done it the same way. And brace yourself, parents will find ways to go against you if they feel they are even slightly inclined to - and don’t blame the kid for that shit if it’s not their fault.

4. You can learn from supporting, watching and standing next to senior coaches at sessions.   I went out of my way to assist other coaches at the school I’m coaching.  I was hungry for knowledge.  I asked a lot of questions on their coaching techniques and opinions and experiences and honestly most of them are very keen to answer, especially when they see you’re writing it down. I did all the dumb stuff for them - carried equipment, oversaw warm-ups, brought first-aid, and I earned loyalty.  Because as coaches, when kids and parents are constantly challenging you, you should stick together and support each other.

5. Sometimes you’re right.  You already know you're not always right so what’s the point in saying it.  You should realize however, that now and again you get it right.  Your kids are applying everything correctly, even for just a moment, or they beat a tough team or you just made an epic breakthrough.  Those moments are amazing  Give yourself credit.  You’re young and inexperienced but you made a difference in a few kids’ lives - that’s friggen huge.  You’re teaching kids values they will use as adults because even though they had a young coach who was very inexperienced, that coach taught them some solid values.  And you can do this through small things.  For instance, I do not tolerate kids being late for my session without a valid excuse.  One day they’re going to have a job and then they will have to understand that there are consequences to being late to said job.  And I teach that in my coaching.

6. Just because you were a great player, does not make you a great coach.  I went to school for twelve years - does that make me a qualified teacher? Uh no.  To be a coach, you need a qualification.  You can’t just pick up a whistle and fucking go for it. If you have that special fairy dust, then maybe.  But I strongly believe that some sort of education needs to take place before you deal with impressionable young minds.  Most importantly, you need to take a first-aid course.  Sometimes this isn’t even a requirement at some schools, and that shocks me. If a kid has an asthma attack at your session, what do you do?  You are accountable for someone else’s child.  Also, just because you played at the top level, that does not make you qualified to be a facilitator, teacher or sometimes even consultant.  I’ve seen players who played at national level coaching training courses for schools and that was just sad.  Do your training, get your qualification and get the basics down first.

7. You are going to break hearts and it is going to hurt.  You can’t pick everyone for your team, even though you want to.  Tears are going to be shed, kids are going want to quit as a result and you are going to be heartbroken yourself.  Especially if you are in a competitive school or club or whatever, as long as you are dealing with players who put a lot of pressure on themselves to succeed, you are going to deal with those players should they fail to make a team.  I especially feel worse when I know I can’t risk putting my reserves on the court.  I know what it’s like benching the whole game.  We’ve all been there.  At the end of the day, kids should know that you sympathize with them and that it’s hard on you too as a coach.  All you can give is support and love.  Those players who put a lot of pressure on themselves to make the top team, should be taught to have more fun with the sport.

8. Some kids aren’t going to like you.  Even if you’re young, assure yourself that you are still the adult.  And with that, you’re also friggen human.  You’re going to make a few bad calls, and though you don’t always have to admit this to your kids, it’s important to call yourself out on your bullshit and learn from it.  It’s not your job to be liked, it’s your job to coach and put the kids first.  You’ll earn respect, even though some won’t like you.

9. You’re going to have favorites and you shouldn’t show it.  Some kids just get it.  Don’t let the others feel that you are more invested in these kids. Everyone deserves equal attention and praise.

10.  Don’t get too personally involved with your kids.  Unless you are a guidance counselor and are employed by the school to do it, then go for it.  However, don’t go nosing in kids’ personal lives or overshare with them about yours.  It’s to protect both of you.  Personal matters are sensitive.  You are making yourself vulnerable and you can cause a lot of drama and trouble that way.  For instance, I coach at a Christian school, but I’m agnostic-atheist.  No way in hell would I tell my kids that shit. Can you imagine parents jumping down my throat and asking me to be removed because of that?  If nobody asked, then don’t tell.  If they ask and you don’t want to share, tell them it’s none of their business.  My kids are always asking about my personal life and I share very little - just enough in fact so they believe I’m humanizing myself for them, but not too much that they lose respect for me.

Anyway.  These are just the things I’ve learnt as a coach. Some of them may not apply to you.  You might even think it’s complete bullshit.  It’s all cool.  I’m just here chillin’.  

With my trophy.