Muse | MYG FF (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/story/393982370-muse-myg-ff?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_myworks&wp_uname=sglossminÂ
Plot: What happens when the man you practically simp over in high school, is right now, sitting across you after almost 10 years of not seeing him? Worse? You're here for an appointment for therapy and he's your psychologist.Â
Warning: Mature themes and contents!! English isn't my first language so pardon me with some grammar errorsT^TÂ
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He felt like a creep watching you from far but how can he resist a lovely angel like you?
There you were laying on the grass, wearing your favourite white summer dress with your hair splay out on the grass where both of you once always crash at after classes back then in college.
It is a nice place. Small pond with small fishes, trees and bushes surrounding the place, pretty much secluded area that only both of you know the location. Though, yoongi never thought you will come here after so long.
Looking at your motionless body laying on the grass, heâs guessing that you are taking a nap but he felt uneasy that something might happened to you and you fell unconscious. Slowly, he move towards you without making a sound and sit next to you. Putting his finger close to your nose, he feels that you are still breathing. At that, he felt relieved that you are just fine and decided to leave. However, your peaceful complexion makes him want to stay with you for awhile and, he did. Maybe it wont hurt to stay for awhile.
The light that passing through the trees were illuminating on your face. Yoongi realised you were scrunching your face because of the light blinding you. You were about to wake up but he quickly covers your face with his hand to block the light and you fell into your deep slumber again. He didnât know how long he should be there but he is wishing that he could stay until you wake up.
He loves seeing your peaceful face. He misses this. He misses you, his y/n. But ever since both of you parted ways, you change so much that he almost couldnât recognise you.
His y/n always have a smile plastered on her face whenever she sees him, an affectionate yet loving woman but now, your face as cold as an ice. She works non-stop when she was the one who used to scold yoongi so much for over-working and with the way you body and face gets more and more lean, he knows that you have stop caring for yourself. He regrets so much for breaking you. The one who should break is him, not you, a poor innocent soul.
Not wanting to disturb you any longer, he thought that it is time for him to leave before you wake up but his movement turned into a halt when he saw a small paper bag beside you. He took it quietly to take a peek.
Oh, how much he wanted to cry. It is a fish pellets. He stands up and walk towards the small pond. He felt that his heart slowly starting to pump faster and faster. As soon his eyes set on a koi, he broke down and whimpered. How do one fish makes him cry you ask?
It is the same fish he bought for you on your 19th birthday, also the day he confessed to you. He recognised the koi since it has the same cut like it got torn on its right fin. And it hits him when he realises that you are actually waiting for him because he knew how much you treasured the fish. It has been 2 years now yet you still take care of it when you could have abandon it and let it die. All along, you have always come here everyday. Waiting for him.
âstill alive and thriving huh, Komorebi?â he greets the fish. He sniffed and wipe ďżźhis tears away but to no avail, the tears just couldnât stop falling.
âyoongi?â
he felt his body become stiffed when he heard you called your name.
did i stay for too long? shit, what should i do?
He heard footsteps slowly getting louder towards him and felt you stop beside him. He slowly turned his head until youâre in his sight.
âI havent fed Komorebi yet. I was so tired that i fell asleep in an instant- oh yoongi? why are you crying?â
what?
And he felt your soft palms wiping his face gently but he notice that your eyes getting teary.
why are you acting so normal?
âyou let me touch you now.â you sobbed.
âdear lord, i must have slowly getting crazy. i saw your presence here everyday but you never let me touch you until today. I always thought that seeing you here everyday is real but how are you real when you are at Seoul now? Perhaps, maybe i am already crazy. Even if the you right now is not real but thank you. I really miss you. So so much.â you hug yoongiâs torso but man was too taken aback to speak.
You have been hallucinating..
Hot tears were gushing down his cheeks. The break up broke you so much that it disrupt your mental, fucking with your head. Feeling his heart throb, he hugged you tightly, wishing and hoping desperately it will make your pain go away. You were already a fragile person to begin, he was aware but why did he still shattered you down? What kind of monstrosity he is that he ruined you so much?
Both of you stayed like that for the longest time. He never wanted to break the hug from you but he need to fix this. He need to make this right again. Yoongi broke the hug and cupped both of you cheek gently. He tilted your head up to make you look into his eyes.
âBaby, this is me. This is real. Iâve come home. Ive come back from Seoul. I miss you so much that i couldnt stand anymore and decided to find you. Please forgive me. Im really sorry, y/n. Let me fix this. Let me take care of you again, angel. I promise, i promise that iâll bring back your happiness again. I really cant live without you, it felt so suffocated like half of my breathe were taken away. Give me another chance to fix thisâ he sobbed.
He can see that you are very much perplexed. How can he blame you? After suffering for two years long, of course you would be so confused but then you too started to cry.
âI do, i have forgiven you already for a long time ago but please convince me this is real, yoongi. My head and my heart hurt every single second and I donât want to wake up tomorrow knowing that all of this are lies again, that all of this are just fucking with my head.â
Yoongi slithered his hand into you hair and push you head gently towards him, smushing both of your lips together. He pulled you so close to him that you are now sitting on his lap. You kissed him back and wrap you hands around his neck, pushing more into his mouth. He then lick your upper lip, a sign for you to open up and you obeyed. Both of you tangling the tongues, relinquished into the feeling. Everything felt so overwhelmed but neither of you want to stop. Not after two years of separation. But then, both of you needed to breathe and break the kiss. Saliva still connected from lip to lip and both of you pants so much to catch a breath after an intense make out.
âDoes this convince you?â
âNo, want you to convince me even moreâ you tucked your head into his neck and he felt you smile.
âare you really not convince or you just want me to kiss you more? you know you can just ask, angel.â he chuckled.
âhmmmm maybe bothâ
âbut i wont give you kissess until im bringing you to eatâ at that, you pouted at the thought of not getting any kisses from him.
As you two staring into each otherâs eyes, both of your eyes are swollen because of the tears but both of you never careless about it. All that matters are it feels pleasant and warm to be back into the rightful arms.
âim so glad that i choose to take care of Komorebi. Even if it take for two years to be back in your arms.â
âIâve gave you koi because ive read that Koi is a symbol of love. I thought it was bullshit but look what Komorebi have done to us. Iâve never felt so happier now. Im just so happy that i gave you Komorebi.â
After working all day having to deal with several people running your ears with requests, your body needed a well-deserved rest. The moment you got back to the apartment your evening started with the average routine. Once you have finally changed and sat on the couch with your leftovers, tears began to roll down your cheeks. There was not a single person that you could call. Everyone was either working overseas or they were practicing for their next comeback.
You sniffled as you buried your head into the plushie that your partner had given you the last time he visited. It had been a while since the last time you had spent time with him, he always knew what to do when your day was rough. Sometimes he would grab your hand, pull you under the blankets, and cuddle you until you fell asleep in each otherâs arms. Min Yoongi could lay down almost anywhere and sleep but you both knew that his best rest was in bed with you. Being in a long-distance relationship led to the longest nights but the two of you made it work. Even in the public eye, there were times when the two of you shared a moment while everyone was watching.
Your head was buried into the plushie's face when your phone went off, a VLive notification popped on-screen âBTS VLIVEâ. You sat up and connected your computer to the TV. It's always nice to be able to sit back and watch when the guys went live, it was surprising to see Suga on screen.
With a heavy sigh you smiled, mumbling about his wide gummy smile. It was calming to be able to see him. Although it still didnât settle the anxiety that dwelled in your heart from the day. You had to admit though, your partner looked stunning in an all-black attire. His outfit reminded you of your first date a year ago. It was such a beautiful night spent indoors as the two of you sat in his studio with a glass of wine. He played a song that he designed but had no intention of releasing. As he softly hummed along, you began singing trying to keep up with the rhythm. Yoongi became silent, listening to you attentively.
The more you thought of that night the more at ease you felt until he pulled his guitar out and started playing. It was surprising seeing him being able to play so well, it was not long since he mentioned that he wanted to learn. He sounds pretty skilled but you knew that you could still kick his butt in playing with 4 years of practice on your belt. The longer that you watched the more your brain slowed down and you were able to relax. The moment of serenity that you needed came along when he said he was going to play his last bit before heading out.
He watched the stream of comments fly up the screen, he leaned in reading them as he strummed slowly looking at the camera. The moment that he smiled his sweet, gummy smile he began to hum gently. Playing the same melody from your first date. The tears began to flood your eyes, falling onto your crossed arms, as he waves with his final good-bye. The stream has ended. Your heart fluttered as you sang the song where Yoongi left off. The plushie was now drenched with tears and small drips of snot from all that crying, before you know it, Yoongi was calling your phone.
âHow was it?â Yoongi asks, sounding cocky.
You sniffled, choking back your tears as he shushed you gently. He kept reassuring you that no matter how your day went and how much you wanted to hold it in he was there for you. You laid down snuggling your plushie when he sent a request to have a video call. With tears running down your flushed cheeks the two of you finally saw each other. There was no way he would miss out on seeing your crying face, he would always laugh at how red you would get. He couldnât help but smile stupidly as you attempted to wipe the tears away.
âYouâre not great at comforting people,â you choke out, laughing.
âNo one said I was going to comfort you,â he raised an eyebrow, âdid you watch the Vlive?â
âWas I supposed to, I figured you were playing for ARMYâ, jokingly pouting into your plushie, âyou know, you sang it wrong.â
Yoongi was quick to notice your bratty attitude but played along, âIs that so? Then why donât you sing for me so I can learn?â
He pulled out his guitar again, gently strumming the chords for the lullaby. You didn't want to sing and tried to laugh it off but he kept going even starting to sing along. When the two of you first wrote that piece a year ago, nothing was going to come from it, it was just for fun something to share in secret. The more he played the more you knew that he was your one, words alone could not capture what you two felt or experienced with one another. The notes. The lyrics. The rhythms and beats. They all intersected creating what the both of you considered to be fate.
Finally, you felt light as a feather at peace at last so much so that you began to fall asleep. Yoongi noticed your light breathing and watched the screen. He strummed softly, effortlessly as he gazed at your sleeping face.
âI hope you realize you do not have to be perfect. You donât have to do anything special, just keep going. Tomorrow will be better. I love you... Good-night.â
 I grew up without many people looking out for me, yes I had people in my life but were they truly ever there? Now I look back at those memories and it felt like I had loved a ghost, they were so hollow. I think thatâs what ached so much, as a child I smiled with no worries, I was so incredibly happy to be where I was. I never would have thought that I would think of them and feel this way, so disappointed. I crave to not have to worry about adult problems. I don't want to have to worry about where my next meal will come from, or what alleyway I'll have to sleep in tonight. I just wish someone would just put me to sleep and tell me they will carry the burdens that have kept me awake for so long.Â
 For a long time I spent my younger years with my parents and my grandmother. This did not change until my mother died when I was 5, we had been expecting it for quite some time. Unlike my father she fell ill very easily. I convinced myself that her illness wasn't meant to happen, not by fate, more so someone was to blame. I could blame the doctors for not trying to save her hard enough, or maybe even the scientists who created her to begin with. When she passed I was so incredibly lost, it felt like after she left me everyone else did as well. Father started spending longer hours at work and grandmotherâs eyesight was becoming weary.Â
 I think that's why I admired Dr. Min so much, âadmiredâ? Is that the right word? The way he spoke just left me in awe. He took care of me from the time I arrived at the center until I was sitting on the counter top in the bathroom of his small town house. He made my tea extra sweet after I took a sip and choked a little bit at the dark taste, he was never angry at my response either, he just giggled and added another spoonful.Â
 I hadn't spoken much either, I used my body language and prayed that somehow he would just understand exactly what I had to say. Everytime it left me baffled, because everytime he understood. I felt so heard and seen by someone. I kept every little thought inside because in all honestly I didn't know how to approach him.Â
 I felt almost embarrassed to be in his presence at times. He had been treating me with everything. He had spoken to me earlier about my injuries and they are a lot worse than I had thought. The pain in my knees wasn't from the fall I had taken on the curb but rather from a lack of enough tissue and fat in my joints. I went too long without eating and now my body was feeling the effects. He had told me that my weight was alarming, even asking me when my last meal had been. He was refusing to allow me to walk distances when my knees were this inflamed, he insisted on carrying me places instead.Â
 I began inspecting his house when he had set me down in the living room while he made me a comforting drink to sip on. He had modern looking gray couches facing each other on each wall, a tv in the middle on the side. He had placed these fluffy blankets and little head pillows on the end of each couch. His house didn't feel like a house, it felt like a home where someone lived. The couch felt warm and strangely if you sat there for long enough you could feel all of the emotions he felt while laying here. All the nights he sat and cried over the daily stresses he experienced, all the times he laughed while watching a comedy movie with his friends. There were even coffee cup ring stains on his end table and marked books littered everywhere, everything looked like it was placed to make you feel something.Â
 When he handed me the cup of tea after sweetening it for the second time, he walked over to the opposite couch and took his seat. Looking down at the drink he had prepared and taking a content sigh. I used all the focus I had, with the little energy still in me, to listen in on his heart beat. It was rhythmic and slowed, bum bum bum.Â
 His hair was a little ruffled now after his shift ended, little strands falling into his face. His glasses were off now and resting on the end table. He was in much more comfortable clothes, his scent was stronger now, practically radiating off of him. In the center you could only smell him if close enough to his wrists or neck, now I can smell every part of him even just from this spot. It was so sweet it almost brought the tears in my eyes to escape down my cheeks.Â
 I think whilst I was staring at him he noticed, because suddenly he looked up and caught my eye. He placed his cup down onto the table and pushed his body up onto his feet, walking over and grabbing one of those fluffy blankets.Â
 Placing it just over me, tucking in the sides of the blanket around my waist and shoulders.Â
 âHere, does that seem warmer?â He turned his head to the side and smiled, I perched up to this question.Â
 I nodded my head in response and cuddled my body lower to the couch. I felt the ears on my head fall back from pure relaxation, a vibration in my chest erupting without warning. The blanket was plush and felt like a cloud on my bare legs and thighs, I havenât felt something this soft in months. I canât remember even when my tail or hair felt that soft, it had been so long since I had taken care of myself.
 I ran my fingers through my hair, which was difficult seeing as though every so often I'd gotten into a knot. Iâd sit there for a few seconds and try to untangle the strands. dirt and dust fell from my fur now that I had spent time tending to it.Â
 âOh, that must be bothering you, hm? Here, I'm sure a warm bath before bed would help you sleep. Would you like that?â Min mentioned while still standing in front of me, I suppose deep in thought I didn't notice he hadn't left. Yes please, I thought to myself. I tried humming in response but I was so eager for his offer it ended up coming out as a whine. âSo eager,â he giggled. âCmon, let's go.â
 He offered his hand out for my tea cup, placing it somewhere it wouldn't spill. He moved the blanket to the side and began to lift me up from under my thighs, one hand under me and the other wrapped around my waist. I instinctively snaked my arms around his neck and hid my face in the crook of his shoulder. He took cautious steps not to drop me until we reached the cold bathroom, he turned and set me down on the countertop, telling me to wait here.Â
 I sat patiently while swinging my legs back and forth to pass the seconds until heâd come back to me. Doctor. Min turned the corner with a white towel and nice smelling bath salts, I think it may have been strawberry scented. Placing the salts on the ground next to the tub and hanging up the towel he began running the bath. Every so often heâd let the water fall over his hand to check the temperature, twisting and turning the knob to the perfect medium.Â
âAre you ready, Miss. Seong?â He sighed.
âHyejinâ I muttered.
âIâm sorry, what was that?âÂ
âMy name is Hyejinâ I croaked, I haven't used my voice in hours so it didn't sound so smooth.Â
âWell Hyejin, Iâm Yoongi.â he gave me the softest smile. âAre you ready Hyejin?â
 I nodded my head and began removing my clothes. I lifted my plain white shirt over my head and began unfastening my bra, being left in my lower body clothing. Lifting my legs was something that brought me so much pain, I was struggling trying to get it off by myself. Yoongi must have noticed this because he suddenly snapped his eyes shut and used his hands to drag my painties off of my thighs, he made sure his hands never touched anywhere they were never intended to touch. He looked up at me and nodded for permission, âMay I?â He spoke. Instead of talking I had always used body language to communicate but this wasn't going to slide for him this time. âPlease use your words, I need a âYesâ Hyejin.â He was very stern which left me a little speechless.Â
âYes.â
 He grabbed me by the waist, allowing the best support to lift me into the pleasantly warm water. His finger lingered on my skin a little longer than a doctor ever should with their hybrid, though secretly I wished he would have kept them there. I was a little embarrassed to be so bare in front of a man I had only just met but his eyes were never hungry with lust. His eyes never left mine, constantly looking as if he was searching for something in my soul. My face was red and hot because no one has ever shown me this much respect, I felt human when I was with him.Â
âTurn around, I can wash your hair for you. Please relaxâ , reaching his hand out to pet my head with a smile.Â
 The moment I had changed positions I heard Yoongi grabbing a bottle for a bath product, I then heard his hands being rubbed together in a fast motion. I felt his fingers run through my hair touching the base of my scalp, without hesitation I leaned into his touch, throwing my head back. And each stroke made a string of vibrations run out of my throat and mouth. He was so gentle with me, making sure no soap had got into my eyes and I was the cleanest I could be.Â
Synopsis: The first time Cara Richie sets foot on the Graham Norton show sheâs confronted with questions that have less to do with her upcoming film âYoung Risingâ, and much more to do with BTS. More specifically with one of their rappers, Suga. Cara is an open supporter and fan of the band, however when Min Yoongi is shipped with the bilingual up-and-coming actress after mentioning her in an interview, things start to get out of hand. Fanart, twitter trends, and stalkers ensue, leaving Caraâs career up to an unknown fate. Then comes the moment the world didnât even realize it was waiting for: a solo track from Agust D that raises more questions than answers, especially for Cara.Â
I would recommend the Graham Norton show to anybody purely based off the quality of their couches.Â
 Itâs our five minute call when Sebastian Stan, my co-star and annoyingly close friend, shakes me out of my half-asleep daze.Â
 âHey, weâre about to be called up. Ready?â He helps me to sit up, laughing at the state of my hair. No doubt it looks like a birdâs nest. He motions for one of the crew to help me out, a petite makeup artist appearing out of nowhere and touching up my hair.
âYeah, Iâm excited I swear. I just wish I wasnât so tired.â Sebastian and I rolled in from where we were shooting in the Democratic Republic of the Congo at about ten oâclock this morning. I have yet to recover from the long trip. Unfortunately, our interview was scheduled for tonight, and we stand to begin our course of promoting the movie for the foreseeable future. Itâll still be a few hours before I can crawl into a bed.
âAt least itâs only an hour time difference, right?â Sebastian stands me up, instructing me to do some stretching.
âAt least we finally have service. I havenât spoken to my family in three months, they probably think you killed me and left me there in the middle of the jungle.â
One of the perks of our on location shooting was the fact that we only had a couple of satellite phones. No contact with the outside world for nearly three months. I grew way too attached to it, although the one downside was not getting to know how my family and friends were. A lot can happen in three months. Iâve been so rushed to get ready and get over here to the show that Iâve hardly had any time to even glance at my phone besides a cursory text to my group chat with my family letting them know that Iâm still alive and back in civilization.Â
 âTempting, but too many witnesses.â Sebastian winks at me, coming to attention when weâre motioned over by one of the staff. Glancing at the TV in the waiting room I can see Graham Norton beginning to introduce us.Â
 âOur next guests have just re-entered into civilization, so do excuse them if theyâre a little off. Please welcome the dashing Sebastian Stan and lovely Cara Richie!â
Sebastian motions for me to go first, and I jump out into the bright lights. Even though Iâve been on a few shows by now, it never gets old. Granted, Iâve only had one successful blockbuster. Maybe I wonât feel the same once that number starts to climb.Â
 I greet Graham before settling down on the couch beside Billie Eilish, the musical guest of the day. Iâve met Billie before, we actually became fast friends. I was invited to a music awards show (I found out that actors are often invited to them for some reason), and we decided to ditch the after party and settle for pizza and a movie instead.Â
 âItâs been so long since Iâve seen you, glad to know youâre still alive.â Billie mumbles.Â
 âBarely,â I whisper back. Sebastian sits down on the other side of me, waving to a few people in the audience. There are a group of girls near the front row that scream even louder when I look their way, and I smile at them. Sebastian sure does have an affect on people.
âWell, well. Glad to see youâve made it. Didnât you two just fly in this morning?â Sebastian jumps in to answer. I appreciate him taking the lead, he definitely has a lot more experience than me.Â
 âSure did. I think youâre trying to kill us, Graham.â Graham gasps, every bit the entertaining host.Â
 âNow, Cara,â I smile at the man, hopefully masking my exhaustion. Iâm a huge fan of him, and I want to leave a good impression. âThis is your second major film. How are you feeling with all of the attention youâve received? Because really, you came out of nowhere.â
I nod, reminding myself not to depend on Sebastian. âThatâs true, I kind of did. Itâs been amazing though. I think they sent me off to the middle of nowhere so it wouldnât go to my head.â Graham laughs, the audience joining in. I sit up a little straighter because of it.Â
 âThatâs probably smart on their part. Really, from what Iâve seen of the previews for this film, itâs called âYoung Risingâ, correct?â We nod. âRight. It looks quite intense. But you two, you two are lovers in this.â
 I shoot Sebastian a look that tells him we are anything but. âYeah,â I draw out the word. âYou could say that.â
âI really donât know what they were thinking, putting the two of us together.â
âYou mean to say that you donât like each other at all?â Graham asks, feigning concern.
I shake my head. âI loathe him. But he wonât leave me alone, can you believe it?â
Graham nods. âActually, I can. After all, you were recently named among the âmost wantedâ stars in the world.â
I look at Billie completely surprised. âI was?â I ask her. She nods, shrugging her shoulders.Â
 âMost wanted? That makes me sound like a criminal!â
âIsnât that the point?â Sebastian taunts.Â
 We continue bickering for a while. âI had no idea, but really I have no clue whatâs happened over the past three months.â
Graham hums, shuffling through his papers before coming upon what he was looking for. âReally? Well I find that quite interesting, because something happened just last week on this show.â Suddenly the girls up front start screaming again, hardly able to contain themselves.Â
I look at Sebastian. âWhat did you do?â I whisper. He shakes his head at me, mouthing ânothingâ.Â
 âAlright, calm down you three. I havenât even gotten the chance to tell her yet, youâre going to spoil the surprise!â WIth great effort the girls pipe down. Graham swivels back to me, a mischievous smile on his face.Â
âOh no, what surprise?â I groan.Â
Billie pats my knee. âI know what this is about, itâs been all over twitter. This is what Iâm thinking of, right?â Billie asks, shooting me a close-lipped smile.Â
âAll over twitter? I havenât had a chance to check twitter.â To be honest, I was putting off checking the hot mess that is social media. Three months of peace and quiet have been so nice, Iâm clinging to it before I have to dive back in.Â
âLast week, we had a very special musical guest. Youâre a fan of BTS, arenât you?âI nod, furrowing my eyebrows. Where is he going with any of this?Â
âYeah, I love them. We were just listening to them in the car, actually.â I gesture between Sebastian and I. Graham studies us like a textbook, nodding along.Â
âThatâs perfect! They came on the show last week, it was amazing. Wasnât it?â The audience cheers and claps in response. âWe got to have a little chat before they performed. A nice little heart to heart if you will. Somehow, I have no idea how, we got onto the topic of their love lives.â
We all give him a complimentary laugh, knowing full well how they got onto that topic. Any successful interviewer knows their way around questions to make even the most composed celebrity fidget in their seat until they slip up.Â
âOh did you?â Sebastian prompts Graham on. I know him well enough that heâs just wanting to move on at this point. Weâre here to talk about our movie, not BTS. Heaven knows theyâre famous enough already.
âYes. Youâve heard of Suga?â I nod. I know who each of the members are, I really do like them a lot. âWell, he said something quite interesting, er, about you.â
My eyebrows flit up. âAbout me? He knows who I am?âThe audience laughs, the girls in the front are practically causing an earthquake with how much jumping around theyâre doing.Â
âHe most certainly does. In fact, when I asked the boys if there was anyone they had their eye on, they all immediately turned to him! It was difficult to get it out of him, to say the least, but I found out that heâs a big fan of yours. And not just from a professional standpoint, if you know what I mean.â Graham winks at me even as my mouth falls open.
Me?
âYouâll have to watch the clip,â Billie says, nudging me. âItâs been all anyone can talk about all week. Itâs been so annoying, I see your name everywhere now.â She laughs, and I pull myself together enough to laugh along with her. I look around, reminding myself that Iâm on international television, and word will get around quick if I look like a high schooler that just got asked to the prom by her long-time crush.
Even though thatâs exactly what I feel like.
The rest of the interview passes in a blur, Graham even going to far as to show me a couple of tweets with the hashtag, #CaraBTS. Iâm just relieved there isnât some weird couple name trending...yet.Â
âOh, look at this one! Youâll love it.â Graham holds his paper up to the light, reading off of it. ââThis is not a drill, I repeat, this is not a drill. Cara and Yoongi are finally happening. Iâve been pushing for this since I found out she went to school in Seoul!â It would appear this has been a long time coming for some fans. There are others that arenât quite as excited though, as you can imagine.âÂ
Shuffling his papers he pulls out another tweet. âHere we are, âIâm telling you if Cara Richie lays a single finger on my lil meow meow Iâm suing.â Well isnât that lovely?â
We finally move on, Sebastian telling a funny story from our time filming in the Congo. I add in whatever tidbits I can, but I remain so focused on looking normal and unbothered by this new information that I nearly miss Billie getting up to sing. Itâs during her performance, when the lights are down low and our mics are turned off that Sebastian nudges me, whispering something under his breath.Â
He makes it look like heâs pointing something out on stage, âHey, you alright?â
I nod along, looking for all the world like weâre chatting about the lighting. Itâs true that it looks striking, the dark greens and blues cut across the stage, highlighting Billieâs haunting voice.Â
âI think I will be. Is this going to be a disaster? Now all anybody will want to talk about is my love life.â
âWhich we both know is nonexistent.â
âExact-hey!â I shove my friend before turning my attention back to the performance. I still canât quite relax, but I feel a little better. At least I have Sebastian by my side. He certainly knows how to remain low-key when it comes to the press.Â
Once the interview ends the three girls at the front squeal until I look at Sebastian who gives me a shrug.
âI donât think itâs for me,â he gestures to them. âLook at their sign.â
Sneaking a glance over there my eyes widen and I struggle to keep my mouth from hanging open. One of the girls holds up a little poster that I didnât see before. She probably wasnât allowed to hold it up during the show because she would block other peopleâs view.Â
There, written in big bold miss that only a blind man could miss it reads:
        Cara x Yoongi nation
Graham notices my attention from where heâs saying goodbye to Billie and makes his way over to me. He gives me a pat on the back.Â
âThat,â he points out the sign that is now burned into my eyelids. âIs only the beginning, love.â
đ
By the time Sebastian and I make it back to the hotel where the rest of the cast and director/producers are staying, I want to lock my door and throw something.Â
Sebastian told me not to check twitter, but I ignored him. Curiosity did kill the cat, folks. News flash.Â
If I wasnât known before, I certainly am now. Twitter is a mess of supportive fans, those fans who are heartbroken but happy for Suga, and the fans that are out for blood. Like, real blood. Iâve read the words âbetter watch outâ so many times that I canât help but look over my shoulder every few minutes.Â
I do appreciate the fans that claim that only true ARMY will support the boysâ decisions. Nevertheless, I decide to hold off any kind of presence on social media until further notice. A glance at the official BTS twitter shows them doing the same thing, apparently. Iâm not sure whether I should be relieved or worried about that.
âI told you not to,â Sebastian chides once we enter the hotel. âNow youâre all depressed.â
âIâm not depressed,â I defend myself. âJust nervous. Iâm not sure what this means for my whole acting career. I donât like knowing that I have no control over it.â
Sebastian wraps an arm around my shoulders as we enter the elevator. âNot to worry, Iâm sure the PR team is on it. Stacey is good with these kinds of things. Trust me, Iâve put her through enough near disasters that this will be a piece of cake.â
Sebastian and I share managers, PR reps, and many more things. Weâre strange friends, thrown together through a series of random events, but Iâm so grateful for him. I would be so lost without all the resources heâs provided me with.Â
I give a dry laugh, slumping against my friend as the thought of being so close to a bed only serves to make me more tired. âSheâs probably glad that itâs not you for a change.â
âYeah, probably.âSebastian bids me goodnight, heading down to his room on the other end of the hall. I can hear our director and a couple of the producers talking, but itâs too muffled to make out much more than their voices. Iâm too tired anyways, so I opt to head straight to my room and get into bed before anyone can ask me any questions. I barely make it into my pajamas before I hit the mattress, sighing as I sink into the covers.Â
âAh, finally. Goodnight world,â I mumble, turning to flip my phone on silent. The moment I go to grab my phone, it lights up with a notification. Groaning, I pick it up, squinting at the light.Â
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Saudade: Saudade is a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one cares for and/or loves.
28 October 2020
Hello it's me Min Yoongi. I am still getting used to this. Writing about myself and talking about my everyday life to you. Not that it constitutes much, just basic things like eating, playing video games, working on music and playing with Holly. Oh have i told you yet i have a dog named Holly.
I was resentful about this at first knowing that I hadn't told Y/n about this. But further as I continued it I felt good. This way it is so much better rather than meeting outside everyday.
Imagine getting caught by paparazzi, oh my I can't even imagine how much of a scandal it would be. Now that we have landed on the topic of paparazzi I somewhere think it's because of them that I have started to become anxious about going outside.Â
I remember when I talked to you during our first meeting I have never felt so relieved talking to someone except Y/n. By the way, I am planning on telling her soon.
 I really can't hide it anymore. Is it wrong to do this while she is gone. What will she think of me?Â
Okay this is good, i feel this is all I wanted to talk about today. Bye, hope to see you soon.
To, Kang Soowon
Â
Looking over at the digital clock sitting on the desk, which displayed 6:00 pm indicating it was already evening. The shimmering orange hues shone in the apartment acting as a proof.Â
Hitting the send button he relaxed back into his chair and stared up at the ceiling. The entire house was peaceful with just a few sounds from the cars passing by and Holly's barks.Â
He had grown accustomed to these sounds for over a week now. These were the only things that made him feel he was not completely alone. His prominent source of chitter chatter and chaos had been out for a week now.Â
She had gone on a trek with bangtan as the only representative for the couple. On the other hand all the members had accompanied their wives or girlfriends. The youngest one Jungkook had also brought his daughter along with them for this trip.Â
Funny how the maknae was the first one to be a father out of all of them. Even the eldest was married and had a stable married life now and following his footsteps were his younger brothers.Â
Soon Taehyung was also going to propose to his long time girlfriend. Now the only one left was Yoongi. Yes he was dating you but that's it. There were no advances in the relationship yet.Â
You both knew you loved each other dearly and had also confessed to each other previously. Not in a very romantic manner of course, it took place when Y/n presented Yoongi a plate of spaghetti which she made all by herself from scratch.Â
Even though it was not the very best in regards to taste , he admired his girlfriendâs hard work and the love she had put into it. Her eyes focused on his face just to get a nod of approval from Yoongi.Â
It wasnât bad considering it was her first time making it. He looked up to give an appreciating remark to Y/n when her face lightly covered with flour came into his sight.Â
Oh how cute she looked. But she was so eager to get feedback from him that she did not realize that he was staring at her face with a slight smile.Â
âItâs good, really good!â Yoongi said, taking another bite out of the spaghetti and picking one bite for her to taste.
A frown formed on her face as soon it landed in her mouth.Â
She started to mutter how bad and bland it tasted and asked Yoongi how he even managed to chomp down the whole plate, literally taking the last bite. âWhy do you even bother eating this let alone finish the whole thing,why?âÂ
âBecause I love youâ Y/nâs constant emphasis of why and how seemed to have done its work subconsciously on Yoongiâs mind. When the reality of what had been spilled clicked both of them, their heads instantly turned to each other to take a glance at their partners faces.Â
Both of them were trying to find any hints of cringe or âoh it came out by accidentâ kind of look on their face. But all they could decipher the stunned and honest looks they had.
âYou love me Yoongi?â she asked him just to make sure that those words were not just tongue slips. This is the time Yoongi says it, say those words out loud to her, the words that you had been practicing secretly in the bathroom for weeks and even when working.Â
Partly also because of Seokjinâs proposal video which he had decided to keep as an inspiration when it would be his time to do it. But alas! look at the situation where they were in both in their pyjamas in their not so clean house a complete 180 degree of his hyungs proposal.Â
Not over candle light dinner but the dining table in his kitchen. Well now it's done and there is no turning back. His girlfriendâs voice broke his chain of thoughts when she presented the same question to her.Â
Smiling he looked up at her, still a bit nervous but just wanted to get it out. â Yes I do, I love you alot and I mean it, even if it's not the best place and situation to confess this but it's a factâ he looked up at her face to see what she had to say.Â
Will she accept his feelings and reciprocate or will it just get overlooked?. âIt's okay if⌠if you don't like me back I-'' before he could continue saying anything further her tiny palms were covering his face, thumb stroking his cheekbone.
Her face expresses a broad range of emotions whether it be happiness, excitement, but the most prominent one adoration and respect for her lover.âÂ
I love you too Yoongi, I love you tooâ with this a stream of tears flowed from her eyes. Yoongi was overjoyed and over the moon knowing that both of them were in the same place and mindset in their relationship.Â
From now on it was just moving forward and not looking back. Both of them scooted close to each looking forward to kiss each other but before yoongi could even do anything Y/n turned her face around and yoongiâs lips landed on her cheek making her release a huge laughter which erupted and echoed throughout the room.Â
âYaah Y/n you better get back here and give me my kissâYoongi said with puckered lips. âHolly your appa finally said it he confessed to meâ you said looking towards the dog you had been holding in your hand.Â
He started to bark, wagging his tail at you, definitely not understanding the words you said but felt the emotions you radiated through your facial expressions. Yoongi felt his heart at ease, pulse lowering down and a surge of easiness rising in him, this is all he wanted and now finally he has what he had dreamt of, a stable life, a loving partner right in front of his eyes.Â
âPsst Y/nâ he called her trying to make eye contact. She stopped whatever she was busy with and looked at him and a tint covered her cheeks with a confident smile on her lips hearing the words âI love youâ falling silently, inaudible but you could make out what he was saying.
You winked at him and muttered those same words âI love you tooâ.Â
The doorbell at their apartment rang making yoongi fall back into reality. He quickly understood it must have been the delivery guy which came with his lunch.Â
He quickly took in the order and paid him his money. Yoongi had been ordering from the same restaurant you had been to. He even insisted for the same delivery guy knowing very well that he might get triggered if he saw anybody else.Â
He was in the most vulnerable stage of his health right now. Knew he had to do everything in a wise manner or else the situation would completely turn 180 degree.Â
He placed down the parcel on his table and started eating his food. He was in the middle of glancing through his media when a picture of you and all the boys popped up on his phone. There were a bunch of people standing around you guys, probably their fans and everyone was smiling at the camera.Â
His eyes were only focused on you looking at your smile and your jacket clad figure, but besides you a guy who was intently gazing at you and smiling just by looking at you unlike others who were looking at the camera.Â
Yoongi wasted no time to search for his profile and understood that it was your guys tour guide. He couldn't help the insecurity which was building up in his mind.Â
He always knew you had an outgoing personality and would befriend everyone around you and yoongi on the other hand was a completely opposite person. Would only talk to the group of few people he trusted and never intended to know any other people the only exclusion for work related meetings.Â
It's always a distraction to have too many people in your life he would say and firmly believed it too. The question of would you leave him for somebody else or would you find someone much better than him would constantly go through his mind and now with his condition it increased even more. Suddenly he received a call which broke his chain of thoughts.Â
The screen displayed the callers id: Kang Soowon. He instantly smiled looking at the call and picked up in hopes of clearing his mind by talking to her. It felt good to have someone around to talk to.
Few minutes had passed of him still talking on the phone, afew whispers and faint laughs could be heard from him. âYes, even though I think I should let this all go, I could become a better person and have a better life I guess, thank you so much for helping me realize that Miss Soowon."
Hope I see you soon at the same place. Good nightâ he placed his phone down on the counter and was about to get up when a feminine voice came from behind himâYoongi?â he instantaneously turned around to look at the source of a very familiar voice.
[AU : please feel free to comment requests or what you think of this au. ]
Word Count: 366
Warning: Fluff
Lydia rolled over on the long, dark blue cotton couch opening her eyes slowly to the view of yoongi's back and the all too familiar sounds of yoongi's tittering finger tapping against his keyboard and his mouse clicking away at certain moments while typing away.Â
She sat up on the couch raising her arms above her head and stretching them out, while arching her back as she did so. She stood to her feet after and shuffled over to Yoongi's black rolling chair, sliding her hands down his chest and placing her chin in the crook of his neck. He leaned back in his seat and removed his hands from the keyboard and mouse, leaning his head back onto the top edge of his chair. Lydia grabbed his head phones from his ears and placed them on his desktop beside the picture of Min Holly he had framed beside his computer.Â
She moved her lips closer to his ear and whispered. âYou should stop here and rest.â she kissed his ear lightly, then his cheeks and lastly his neck and holding her lips there.
âI need to finish lydia.â
âYou donât need to right now yoongi, you have plenty of time next week to have many sleepless nights but what you do need right now is sleep.âÂ
She removed her hands from his chest and turned his chair around so he was facing her. She grabbed his hands and shuffled backwards lifting him up. He definitely was tired because any other time he would have tried shoving her away or told her to wait a little longer and when he was tired he had this look in his eyes that differed from the look he usually had. She sat him down onto the couch and grabbed the cover that he had at the end of his couch and laid down beside him.
He wrapped his arms around her and she grabbed his hands and placed her own on top of his, pulling them to her lips and kissing his fingers before placing both their hands under her chin. She smiled feeling him smile against her neck.